Updating engagement/wedding rings - why?

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I don't know a single woman in real life who has upgraded her wedding ring. Only here.
I know quite a few women who have updated their rings. I loved my set; however, I did not like that I couldn't keep it clean. And that is because of the style of diamonds I chose. I just recently got a smaller carat size solitaire with more cuts so the diamond looks much more brilliant than previous ring.
 
This reminds of a sitcom.

Husband bought wife a "bargain" diamond e-ring not knowing the stone was fake (he was young, broke, and naive).

Wife realized the stone was fake, and her wealthy parents swapped it out for a real, high grade diamond. They never said anything to the husband so he wouldn't be embarrassed.

Years later, the husband was successful in his career, decided to upgrade the engagement ring. Went back to the same shady jeweler and upgraded his wife's real diamond to a bigger fake.

Needless to say, things did not turn out well, lol.
 
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We plan to upgrade mine. The original is gone, anyway. I took it off one night, put it on the nightstand, and it bounced off under the bed. We were really tired, so I figured I'd fish it out in the morning. But when I woke up, I decided to first go get us coffees from our favorite cafe a few blocks away. When I came back, I found out that for the first time ever, my husband had swept and vacuumed under the bed, emptied the vacuum cleaner into a garbage bag and put it in the dumpster. The trash truck came right after and emptied the dumpster. And that was the end of my ring! So now I wear just a plain gold band. We plan to upgrade with an artisan diamond eternity band from Italy -- one of these days. It's not a priority, but I do look forward to a new ring...and, FWIW, we live in Europe ourselves and know a few women who wear upgraded rings.

What a sad story about losing your ring! And too bad...you're DH will probably never vacuum again!
 
Interesting thread. It probably is more common in the US where there seems to be more emphasis on status and "showing" one's wealth. Believe me, I'm not being at all judgmental in saying this - it's just an observation from living here and traveling to other places of the world with less focus on consumerism.

I did change my original set...I wouldn't call it upgrading, but was finding as I was getting older my knuckles were swelling (arthritis in the family!) and my thick-banded set was too uncomfortable. So I used the original diamond, plus my mom's diamond and a sapphire to creat a new three-stone ring with a thin and larger-size band!
 
Interesting thread. It probably is more common in the US where there seems to be more emphasis on status and "showing" one's wealth. Believe me, I'm not being at all judgmental in saying this - it's just an observation from living here and traveling to other places of the world with less focus on consumerism.

I did change my original set...I wouldn't call it upgrading, but was finding as I was getting older my knuckles were swelling (arthritis in the family!) and my thick-banded set was too uncomfortable. So I used the original diamond, plus my mom's diamond and a sapphire to creat a new three-stone ring with a thin and larger-size band!

Oh, not sure I agree. We've lived in Europe for nearly 20 years and Europeans can be plenty consumerist and status aware, but they show it in different ways (for example, where we live, having a really good watch and a good bag seems to be a mandatory thing -- I was at a party of about 15 women the other day and noted at least six of them were wearing gold Ballon Bleu watches from Cartier and there were at least four Birkins lurking around). We spend a lot of time in Vienna in the colder months and it seems that as soon as a woman turns 40, she is issued a full-length mink coat by the government (men get late model German sedans in dark colors). We were also in Singapore for a few weeks earlier this year and that is definitely a brand-conscious and bling-oriented city.
 
Oh, not sure I agree. We've lived in Europe for nearly 20 years and Europeans can be plenty consumerist and status aware, but they show it in different ways (for example, where we live, having a really good watch and a good bag seems to be a mandatory thing -- I was at a party of about 15 women the other day and noted at least six of them were wearing gold Ballon Bleu watches from Cartier and there were at least four Birkins lurking around). We spend a lot of time in Vienna in the colder months and it seems that as soon as a woman turns 40, she is issued a full-length mink coat by the government (men get late model German sedans in dark colors). We were also in Singapore for a few weeks earlier this year and that is definitely a brand-conscious and bling-oriented city.

Thanks for sharing - interesting! I wonder why then "upgrading" e- rings is less prevalent in Europe? Maybe because any extra cash is going on Birkins ;-)
 
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Agree with the previous poster, plus Europeans tend to dress better in all socio-economic levels than people in the U.S.

Very true! It's like that book "French Women don't get Fat"...better to invest in quality pieces that last a lifetime than go through a ton of cheap trend clothes!
 
Interesting thread. It probably is more common in the US where there seems to be more emphasis on status and "showing" one's wealth. Believe me, I'm not being at all judgmental in saying this - it's just an observation from living here and traveling to other places of the world with less focus on consumerism.

I did change my original set...I wouldn't call it upgrading, but was finding as I was getting older my knuckles were swelling (arthritis in the family!) and my thick-banded set was too uncomfortable. So I used the original diamond, plus my mom's diamond and a sapphire to creat a new three-stone ring with a thin and larger-size band!


Very true! It's like that book "French Women don't get Fat"...better to invest in quality pieces that last a lifetime than go through a ton of cheap trend clothes!

Part of that reason is the culture, but another part is that most European apartments/homes come with minimal closet space. A master bedroom with a walk-in closet is a very rare thing indeed. Our three bedroom, two bath apartment has NO closets, period, which is normal. We had to go out and buy wardrobes/armoires. When you have very little storage space, you have no choice but to edit more carefully what you buy and keep. However, oddly, we found this was not true in the UK, where we lived for four years. Although most British homes don't come with much storage space either, many women there buy lots of inexpensive clothes not made to last. I have no idea where they keep everything.
 
I've been thinking about this a lot lately as I'm in the process of upgrading. Like others in this thread, I always said I would "NEVER" do it and that it is silly. My original ering was absolutely beautiful - a high quality diamond in a unique and beautiful (to me) setting and a matching wedding band with diamonds set inside a channel. However, the setting always was compromised as the jeweler who sold it to us did a resize on it for us that he probably should have refused to do and it was very poorly done. We always planned to have the setting worked on someday when we could find a good artisan we could trust.

Fast forward fifteen years, many personal/relationship hardships, career changes and growth, a major move looming in the future, recent deaths of beloved parents and all the hard work that went with their care and now settling their estates, etc., etc. We took my late MIL's jewelry into a jeweler we know of who is also a fine artisan to have it appraised and also talked with him about fixing my setting.

It was my husband who broached the subject of upgrading to a larger stone while we're at it. So we asked the jeweler to source some for us to "just look at". And okay, I admit it.... as much as I loved and will always love my original stone and truly had no desire to upgrade it, yes, I can be materialistic and I fell in love with the idea of having a larger stone on my finger. We're keeping the same shape of stone and the same quality and we're changing the side stones (which were always ugly and we never liked them in the setting) to nicer quality stones of a different shape. Otherwise, the setting and wedding band will remain the same, just more structurally sound. I will probably try to sell my original stone (as much as that pains me) because I try to be frugal even in my luxuries and I want to lighten the load of the upgrade even though we can well afford this.

I've had a lot of mixed feelings about the whole thing and I kind of feel like a traitor to my original stone. But my DH keeps reassuring me and reminding me it was his idea and that he knows I will love my new ring and be so happy with it and that this is a fitting time to do this as we're coming up on a milestone anniversary, the loss of our loved ones and a big move to a new state and into a new home that we are building together, and basically it is as if we are reaffirming our commitments to one another and starting a new chapter of our lives, so this is just one more thing we are changing and improving TOGETHER. When he put it to me that way, my heart just sang. I am indeed a lucky woman.

Like others have said in this thread, it is all about the RELATIONSHIP and how meaningful it is to you. The quality of the relationship is not defined by the quality of the ring. The ring is a symbol and you can choose to recreate your symbols or leave them just the same - what is important is the reasons why and what it symbolizes to you.
 
Oh, not sure I agree. We've lived in Europe for nearly 20 years and Europeans can be plenty consumerist and status aware, but they show it in different ways (for example, where we live, having a really good watch and a good bag seems to be a mandatory thing -- I was at a party of about 15 women the other day and noted at least six of them were wearing gold Ballon Bleu watches from Cartier and there were at least four Birkins lurking around). We spend a lot of time in Vienna in the colder months and it seems that as soon as a woman turns 40, she is issued a full-length mink coat by the government (men get late model German sedans in dark colors). We were also in Singapore for a few weeks earlier this year and that is definitely a brand-conscious and bling-oriented city.
LOL @ "government issue". :biggrin: I spent several months in Vienna studying about 20 years ago and I noticed the same thing. I think a status conscious environment can be/is definitely a regional or city by city kind of thing. I travel a lot for work and notice a definite personality to each metropolitan or rural area I visit when it comes to the amount of luxury vehicles, bags, rings, manner of dress, even hair styles and plastic surgery "upgrades" (not judging AT ALL so please don't read into that).

I remember when I first moved to my current city from rural Montana, I was positively scandalized (and yes, totally judgmental!!!) about all the bling and what I perceived to be a preoccupation with "things" and "money" and "status". Apparently I have assimilated, as I now love luxury vehicles, leather goods, fine jewelry and trendy clothing. Can't help it and I don't mind admitting it because it brings me joy and I will only live once. As long as it's not hurting anyone, we should all be free to find our own joy however that comes - whether from simplicity or elaborate luxury, or some of each at different phases of our lives.
 
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