Updating engagement/wedding rings - why?

twin-fun

O.G.
Mar 27, 2006
7,615
953
Not where I'd like to be
I grew up in Europe and moved to the US in my early 20's which was a couple decades ago and from what I can see engagement rings and the size of the diamond is a much bigger thing here in America than it ever was in Germany where my parents and married sister still live. I didn't even know of the concept of engagement rings until moving and my sister never had one. Neither did my mom or my grandmother and I didn't know a single woman who had an engagement ring. They all wore plain gold bands. I do like my e-ring but if we were ever in need of cash and couldn't generate it any other way that ring would be the first to go! I find myself wearing it less and less and instead just sporting my eternity band which I received for our 15th anniversary a few years ago. I am not sentimental about jewelry. To me it's just another "thing" that can be replaced or changed. And if somebody has the financial means to get the ring of their dreams more power to them. It's not how I would spend my money but what a boring world if we all did the same!
 

k*d

O.G.
Aug 2, 2007
1,041
629
I find it hilarious - and quite hypocritical - when women say they wouldn't upgrade their ring or will keep the original stone in a new setting for 'sentimental' purposes, and in the same breath chastise others for being materialistic. It is bizarre that one would assign sentimentality to a materialistic object, while simultaneously proclaiming they are absolutely not materialistic. Please. That is absolutely ridiculous, so let's just drop the facade.
The connotation of the word "materialistic" is that someone is greedy and wants to keep acquiring more. The refusal to acquire new rings is therefore not materialistic at all.

What is hypocritical and hilarious is that anyone who actively participates in a forum with the slogan "shallow obsessing strongly encouraged - since 2005" would dare to accuse anyone else of materialism.
 
  • Like
Reactions: LovingLV81

OKComputer

O.G.
Jul 26, 2009
342
1,437
The connotation of the word "materialistic" is that someone is greedy and wants to keep acquiring more. The refusal to acquire new rings is therefore not materialistic at all.

What is hypocritical and hilarious is that anyone who actively participates in a forum with the slogan "shallow obsessing strongly encouraged - since 2005" would dare to accuse anyone else of materialism.
I disagree. Requiring a diamond, whatever the size, is being materialistic. It is not necessary for a marriage. It is a worldly posession.

Perhaps you need to go back and read my post again. I am simply saying that those who choose not to upgrade are not any less materialistic than those who do. I am not shaming anyone for being materialistic, I am asking for the pot to stop calling the kettle black. We are here because we like allllll the pretty things. So saying that one would not upgrade because their original ring is sentimental and cannot fathom why anyone would ever upgrade is simply ridiculous and frankly, laughable.
 

Bitten

Chic, not cheap.
O.G.
Feb 6, 2007
5,892
373
Contented
We plan to upgrade mine. The original is gone, anyway. I took it off one night, put it on the nightstand, and it bounced off under the bed. We were really tired, so I figured I'd fish it out in the morning. But when I woke up, I decided to first go get us coffees from our favorite cafe a few blocks away. When I came back, I found out that for the first time ever, my husband had swept and vacuumed under the bed, emptied the vacuum cleaner into a garbage bag and put it in the dumpster. The trash truck came right after and emptied the dumpster. And that was the end of my ring! So now I wear just a plain gold band. We plan to upgrade with an artisan diamond eternity band from Italy -- one of these days. It's not a priority, but I do look forward to a new ring...and, FWIW, we live in Europe ourselves and know a few women who wear upgraded rings.
Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry that happened - what an unfortunate chain of events! :hugs:
 

Lookin@bags

Member
Aug 17, 2012
686
105
Well I have upgraded my setting. The reason is when we chose the diamond I couldn't decide on a setting and picked something inexpensive for the time being.
In that time I also realized I didn't want a wedding band so all the budget went into the setting.
It was five years before I got around to doing it.

But, I could see upgrading my stone. I picked it out in the first place. I only wear one ring, it is the only jewelry I wear period. So it would be fun to change styles every ten years or so. Maybe get a yellow diamond or something.
I probably won't because I love my setting and my husband and I took a special trip to NYC to meet with Steven Kirsch. If we hadn't I would consider it.
I've thought about doing a rhr but I really only like to wear 1 thing for some reason.
 
Last edited:

k*d

O.G.
Aug 2, 2007
1,041
629
I disagree. Requiring a diamond, whatever the size, is being materialistic. It is not necessary for a marriage. It is a worldly posession.

Perhaps you need to go back and read my post again. I am simply saying that those who choose not to upgrade are not any less materialistic than those who do. I am not shaming anyone for being materialistic, I am asking for the pot to stop calling the kettle black. We are here because we like allllll the pretty things. So saying that one would not upgrade because their original ring is sentimental and cannot fathom why anyone would ever upgrade is simply ridiculous and frankly, laughable.
I re-read my post and I can completely understand why you think I was disagreeing with you. I was getting into the weeds with the semantics, but I also agree that it's hypocritical for anyone here to accuse anyone else of materialism.

Please accept my apologies for being too pedantic.
 
Aug 4, 2013
2,557
1,118
Co. Antrim.
For myself and my DH the upgrade was because we met and fell in love quite young, and got engaged as university students. So a dream ring was out of our price range; fast forward 20+ years and my DH could afford to surprise me with a visit to a jewellers one day whilst out shopping :heart:
I wear my original engagement ring every day, I wear my upgrade on special occasions, I love both :cloud9:
 

gayshia33

Member
Jul 23, 2008
6
11
There are tons of reasons that people upgrade their rings. I have personally upgraded my ring several times and there is no shame here. Everyone has their preference and there is nothing wrong with that. Some people place sentimental value on material things, like their original wedding rings. I place sentimental value on the wonderful marriage God has blessed us with. Not everyone can say they have the love and connection that my husband and I have. Those are the things I hold dear to me. Also, not everyone has a college education and good job when they marry. We have been together since we were 14. We were both college drop outs when we got married. I was earning around $10.00 an hour and he was earning approx. $16.00 an hour. At that time, I accepted what he gave me because I loved him with all my heart. As our incomes have grown he has blessed me with upgrades and I happily accepted because I have been through the trenches with this man and I deserve the jewelry I own. I have gifted him with really nice gifts over the years and he deserved those, as well. 28 years together, almost 22 years married, parenting together, crying together, laughing together, good times, bad times, and etc., yep I am absolutely good with my upgrades. Hope this helps answer your question.
 
Last edited:

NikkisABagGirl

Nicole Angela
O.G.
Aug 26, 2009
4,958
1,261
It's a ring. Whether you keep the original or upgrade....it is still just a Pretty THING (which we all seem to like here). There is absolutely nothing wrong with upgrading or keeping the original. To each his own! Most people might find something wrong with owning 20 handbags and not even getting to where them all, but this is TPF! :amuse: ;) So upgrade those diamonds ladies and post pictures while your at it. :lol:
 

NikkisABagGirl

Nicole Angela
O.G.
Aug 26, 2009
4,958
1,261
It's a ring. Whether you keep the original or upgrade....it is still just a Pretty THING (which we all seem to like here). There is absolutely nothing wrong with upgrading or keeping the original. To each his own! Most people might find something wrong with owning 20 handbags and not even getting to where them all, but this is TPF! :amuse: ;) So upgrade those diamonds ladies and post pictures while your at it. :lol:
Wear not where, typing to fast at work!
 

horse17

Little princess
Jan 25, 2012
2,828
1,711
I kept my orig stone and upgraded the setting......and I'm materialistic....

LOL!!!!
 

Annabel Lee

Member
Dec 27, 2013
921
2,395
I do have sentimental attachment to my ring, and I can't see myself ever changing it out, but that's easy for me to say because my original ring is already exceptional.

I have a friend who has been married eight or nine years and has already changed out her ring twice from the original. But she's not into fashion, and her lifestyle doesn't really allow her to wear a lot of expensive things, so she focuses her money on the one piece of jewelry she does wear.
 

pmburk

O.G.
Jul 10, 2008
7,908
2,978
Texas
I tend to get very sentimental about objects, and I swore I would never update or upgrade my rings. I did add a diamond anniversary band for our 10th anniversary in 2010. We didn't have much money when we got married, and my rings were not large or fancy, but I loved them.

Then, earlier this year, I lost my wedding set. :sad: I was heartbroken. My husband bought me another set of sterling locally-made rings to wear until we decided on something else. Recently we had an heirloom gold band (with its own sweet history) resized, and that's now my wedding band. It's quite wide, so the only thing I can wear on that finger. We are shopping for a diamond band for my right hand for our 16th anniversary coming in November.

If I still had my original rings, I would probably not want to change or upgrade. But since I've been through this situation, my opinion has changed somewhat, and I realized that in the end, it is truly just "stuff." I understand and appreciate the sentimentality - and don't get me wrong, I think it's lovely - but I also think that it is totally fine if you want to upgrade or change. Tastes change, incomes change, things happen.
 
Last edited:

Nicole W

Member
Aug 29, 2016
16
3
Nah, I wouldn't want to update in the sense of swapping the ring. I would only add to the SAME ring. E.g. a little diamond on my wedding band or so. All the personal value and memories you have with that particular ring would go if you just swapped it for a different one. No no, not for me :smile:
 
Top