Books & Music TPF Book Club Discussion Thread - Me Before You-Jojo Moyes

[purseproblm]

I'll go to 9: Would Patrick have asked Louisa to move in with him if he hadn’t felt threatened by Will? If Louisa had never accepted her job with the Traynors, where would her relationship with Patrick have gone?
I don't think he would have asked. He was fine with everything the way it was. He didn't appreciate Lou until someone else did. Patrick had changed , and wanted Lou to change with him, but he didn't appreciate her when he did. Will also challenged her to become someone different. And to do things she'd never done before.
She probably would have married him eventually because they were both comfortable, but not in love with one another. It had become the norm for them.It probably would have been an extremely unhappy life for them.

 

[Elsee]

I'll jump into Question 6 -

I think Lou was better able to reach Will because she didn't try to handle him with kid gloves. When he was being an @$$, she treated him like one. I think that made him feel more normal since everyone else in his life just let him act however he wanted because of his condition. I think she also gave Will a project of sorts. In her, he found someone that he could actually help which again I think gave him a sense of normalcy. He seemed to enjoy opening Lou's eyes to things she had not experienced before. Ultimately, it seemed to provide Will with a purpose which he seemed to be missing once he became confined to the wheelchair.

I agree that one of the reasons that Louisa was able to reach Will was because she wouldn't treat him with kid gloves. I think that one of the reasons though that she was so successful was because she was very empathetic. She stopped and tried to put herself in his shoes -- she was able to see things not just from her own selfish vantage point like everyone else, but from his as well. She was constantly reacting to the way that others treated Will as though she could sense what it did to him. Even the difference between Treena's list of "adventures" vs. Lou's. That's why she was able to make the decision to be with him in the end...she realized it wasn't about what she wanted.

 

[lizmil]

Sort of asking my own question again:

Was anyone surprised that Will went through with it? I could have seen it going the other way, believably, too, but again I wasn't surprised.

On the other hand,
I did think the portrayals of what it was like to take him out and about were enlightening (and I think accurate, from as much as know about it).

For example the horse racing incident, getting stuck in the mud, not able to go in the restaurant easily, having to scout everything in advance, etc.


Do you think it would have been different if the family hadn't been wealthy? Would all of this care have been given by insurance? Was it anyway? They never really addressed that.

(not trying to debate Obamacare here.... just wondering.. they were in England anyway, right?)

 

[purseproblm]

Sort of asking my own question again:

Was anyone surprised that Will went through with it? I could have seen it going the other way, believably, too, but again I wasn't surprised.

On the other hand,
I did think the portrayals of what it was like to take him out and about were enlightening (and I think accurate, from as much as know about it).

For example the horse racing incident, getting stuck in the mud, not able to go in the restaurant easily, having to scout everything in advance, etc.


Do you think it would have been different if the family hadn't been wealthy? Would all of this care have been given by insurance? Was it anyway? They never really addressed that.

(not trying to debate Obamacare here.... just wondering.. they were in England anyway, right?)

Was anyone surprised that Will went through with it? I could have seen it going the other way, believably, too, but again I wasn't surprised. I'll take this bit

Not at all. He was determined to not live a life dependent on others, and he would never have been happy. Lou helped the last six months of his life, but it was "good" for his new life and circumstances.

 

[jburgh]

Was anyone surprised that Will went through with it? I could have seen it going the other way, believably, too, but again I wasn't surprised. I'll take this bit

Not at all. He was determined to not live a life dependent on others, and he would never have been happy. Lou helped the last six months of his life, but it was "good" for his new life and circumstances.

I am so torn by this question. Yes, I was surprised. As a chronic disease sufferer, I try to find good and satisfaction in the small things. If he were a burden to Lou, I wouldn't have been surprised. Being a burden and being dependent are two different things. I guess I wished he could have been satisfied enough with her devotion, love and the positive influence he had on her life.

 

[lizmil]

4. Louisa often finds Mrs. Traynor cold and judgmental. Is there an appropriate way to behave in Mrs. Traynor’s situation?

I thought I'd tackle this question.... My answer is: no, there is no " appropriate" behavior in this type of situation.

Everyone will be different and bring something different to the table. I thought it was very important that Will's accident provided no real hope of improvement. This to me,was a big factor. Also the fact tat he was an adult and able to make his own choices and live ...or not... With the consequences of those choices.

Just as sure as I am that there is no one, appropriate, response, I am sure that everyone and his brother will have an opinion of what that response "should" be.

I'm kind of a" don't judge until you've walked a mile in someone's shoes" kind of person. At least for this type of situation. I might answer differently and more harshly where someone has committed crimes, for example. I don't buy into "my mom beat me so I rob stores" mentality.

I think a fair number of us read the book.... I'd like to hear more reactions. Did everyone come to the same conclusions?


On my iPad .. Typing's a bit off.

 

[lnw85]

4. Louisa often finds Mrs. Traynor cold and judgmental. Is there an appropriate way to behave in Mrs. Traynor’s situation?

I thought I'd tackle this question.... My answer is: no, there is no " appropriate" behavior in this type of situation.

Everyone will be different and bring something different to the table. I thought it was very important that Will's accident provided no real hope of improvement. This to me,was a big factor. Also the fact tat he was an adult and able to make his own choices and live ...or not... With the consequences of those choices.

Just as sure as I am that there is no one, appropriate, response, I am sure that everyone and his brother will have an opinion of what that response "should" be.

I'm kind of a" don't judge until you've walked a mile in someone's shoes" kind of person. At least for this type of situation. I might answer differently and more harshly where someone has committed crimes, for example. I don't buy into "my mom beat me so I rob stores" mentality.

I think a fair number of us read the book.... I'd like to hear more reactions. Did everyone come to the same conclusions?


On my iPad .. Typing's a bit off.

I agree with you completely. Everyone is different and has different reactions to things. I also agree with you about not judging a person or situation until you've been in their shoes or in that situation. I think that is why although it was terribly sad, I can't blame Will for the choice he made.
Having said all of that, I don't think Mrs. Traynor's coldness was related to Will's accident. I think that was just how she was and I think that was probably at least in part what drove her husband away. I don't know that I found her judgmental though. I think Louisa mistook her coldness and distance for judgment. I also think by the time Louisa came into the picture, Mrs. Traynor was trying to distance herself from the situation even more because she knew what was coming. Had Mrs. Traynor's been judgmental, I think there would have been a number of things that would have happened differently. Primarily, I think Louisa would not have been hired and I think Will never would have been taken to the clinic in Switzerland. In her own way, I found Mrs. Traynor compassionate.

 

[lizmil]

I agree with you completely. Everyone is different and has different reactions to things. I also agree with you about not judging a person or situation until you've been in their shoes or in that situation. I think that is why although it was terribly sad, I can't blame Will for the choice he made.
Having said all of that, I don't think Mrs. Traynor's coldness was related to Will's accident. I think that was just how she was and I think that was probably at least in part what drove her husband away. I don't know that I found her judgmental though. I think Louisa mistook her coldness and distance for judgment. I also think by the time Louisa came into the picture, Mrs. Traynor was trying to distance herself from the situation even more because she knew what was coming. Had Mrs. Traynor's been judgmental, I think there would have been a number of things that would have happened differently. Primarily, I think Louisa would not have been hired and I think Will never would have been taken to the clinic in Switzerland. In her own way, I found Mrs. Traynor compassionate.

I hadn't thought about it but whether the wife was distant before the accident or after certainly is a good thought... I don't think even if she was it's an excuse for the husband to cheat on her. It's been long enough ago I don't remember --- was his affair started before or after the accident. Did they even say?

I was just thinking (and my kids have taken too many writing analysis classes that I've heard about) Do you think there was an author meaning /choice in the fact the character was named "Will?"

As in he did his will? and he had free will?

Maybe I'm over the top here!

 

[Cindi]

I was and I wasn't surprised. The way she wrote this book it really could have gone either way. When they were at the resort and she was laying in bed with him I thought maybe it would be enough to show him that there was a way to enjoy this life even with his disability. But after he explained that there was nothing that was going to change his mind and he was just giving his parents the six months they asked for I knew he would go through with it. I really don't know if I could have gone to Switzerland with him and watched him die. She is a very strong person to have done that. Actually I might have quit the job after hearing about his plans. Falling in love with someone determined to die would be too much for me.

 

[temps]

I hadn't thought about it but whether the wife was distant before the accident or after certainly is a good thought... I don't think even if she was it's an excuse for the husband to cheat on her. It's been long enough ago I don't remember --- was his affair started before or after the accident. Did they even say?

I was just thinking (and my kids have taken too many writing analysis classes that I've heard about) Do you think there was an author meaning /choice in the fact the character was named "Will?"

As in he did his will? and he had free will?

Maybe I'm over the top here!

It's an interesting thought that the author might have chosen the name 'Will' on purpose.

I thought the husband started seeing the other woman before Will's accident. I remember reading something about him not willing to leave his wife as long as Will is alive. That makes me think he didn't start the relationship with the other woman while Will is ill.

I agree with lizmil and inw85 that his wife is not judgmental. She has a demanding, high-power job that somewhat forces her to act the way she does. It's probably not easy to flip the switch and act differently at home even if she wants to be a warm, soft woman to her husband and son.

 

[lnw85]

It's an interesting thought that the author might have chosen the name 'Will' on purpose.

I thought the husband started seeing the other woman before Will's accident. I remember reading something about him not willing to leave his wife as long as Will is alive. That makes me think he didn't start the relationship with the other woman while Will is ill.

I agree with lizmil and inw85 that his wife is not judgmental. She has a demanding, high-power job that somewhat forces her to act the way she does. It's probably not easy to flip the switch and act differently at home even if she wants to be a warm, soft woman to her husband and son.

I agree that the name choice could certainly have been for a reason. Definitely an interesting thought. And just to clarify, I certainly did not mean to suggest that Mrs. Traynor's behavior justified her husbands affair. I was merely observing that her being distant may have driven a wedge between them even before Will's accident.
I also think Mrs. Traynor's reaction to and treatment of Lou was limited by her own life experience just as Lou was limited by her own life experiences. Ultimately they were coming figuratively from different sides of the track but they were able to find common ground in their shared desire to help someone they loved.
Jumping into more family stuff - there was a question posted about whether Treena and Georgina know Lou and Will better because they are their siblings. I thought this was a great question and one worth addressing. I personally think not. In my opinion, people want to believe that because you are family you know someone well but I don't think being family means that unless there is the effort put forth to get to know the person. In both Will and Lou's case, I thought their siblings seemed to think that they knew them better merely because of their blood relation but in all reality, I did not see anything to suggest that either Treena or Georgina knew their siblings as people all that well.

 

[jburgh]

lnw85 - I certainly agree with you there both of those siblings were portrayed as being self centered, or rather self involved

 

[lnw85]

lnw85 - I certainly agree with you there both of those siblings were portrayed as being self centered, or rather self involved

Self involved is exactly what I thought too. When their siblings were having problems, their response seemed to be about how it was affecting themselves instead of trying to think about how their siblings felt or what they might be able to do to help them.

 

[shoe gal]

I finished the book! I really enjoyed it, but honestly felt that the ending wrapped things up too neatly with the letter from Will. I wanted some more rawness in the ending, and I was surprised the author chose not to include the scene where Will dies, surrounded by his family and Lou.

I'm having a hard time saying what exactly about the ending bothered me--maybe that for so much of the book, the characters all talked about Lou in sometimes disparaging ways in front of her (her family, Mrs. Traynor), and she develops her own voice slowly throughout the book. But then the ending is told through letters from other people, and particularly Will, so her voice gets lost again. I would have been interested to read more about how she grieved/missed/come to peace with him gone. Or something like that?

I really like the question about what the title means. To take a stab at it: I think each main character struggled with me vs you. Louisa, obviously, put others before herself (her family, Patrick, Will) in terms of priorities. But Treena was pretty steadfast about putting herself before others by leaving her family to go back to college. Will put himself ahead, but then did a lot for Lou. Mr. Traynor was struggling with wanting to start a new life for himself with the woman he loved, but he stayed in an unhappy marriage to put Will before him. When Will died, much of this was recalibrated -- Mr. Traynor pursued his own life, as did Lou.

 

[lizmil]

I am surprised there are not more posts here. Didn't we have more readers ?

About the title. I thought it was purposely ambiguous. Normally a story like this might be called Lou and Will or Will and Lou. This title leaves it up in the air a bit.