Thank you cards

ILuvMyHusband

ILuvMyHusband

Member
Apr 15, 2007
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#1
I didn't know where to post this. Sorry if it's in the wrong place.

I've always thought sending out thank you cards was the proper thing to do? Is this old fashioned? I still do it with even the smallest thing.
Well, my BIL's girlfriend is pregnant. She had her baby shower in the middle of last month. As always I put a ton of thought into picking out gifts and really went all out with the gifts. I wasn't able to make it to the shower because I wasn't feeling well, but my MIL and SIL took her gift to the shower for me. Well, I saw her last week and... nothing. She said nothing about the gift and there has been no thank you card. She's young, only 19 or 20... but that makes no difference to me. Maybe it's just the way I was raised, but I have always written out thank yous and given calls for presents received. Even if she isn't sending out cards, it seems like a thank you would have been said. Am I being emotional and crazy right now or does anyone else think this isn't right?
 
#2
I am also a thank you card sender and really enjoy writing notes and sending them through the mail. However, I've found that many people do not do this, or even send an email, so I've stopped expecting it. I think your feelings are valid, and I agree it is somewhat rude for her to not say thank you, but sometimes people are just not that considerate.
 
#3
A thank you note would have been a very gracious way of thanking you for your troubles and for the fact that (while pregnant yourself) you took the time to look for gifts for her and her baby. But, she may not be into sending thank you notes and that's OK as long as she made it a point to say thank you when she saw you in person. The fact that she didn't is socially inept, and regardless of age she should know better!
 
#4
wow, she could have at least said thank you. unless the inlaws claimed your gift and acted like it was from them. i would approach her and ask how she liked it...
 
#5
No... my inlaws would never ever do such a thing. It's just her being kinda, well, rude for lack of another term.

Yeah Emma, as usual, I agree! AT LEAST a mention of something having to do with it, right? Whatever. However bad this may sound, DH and I had decided last Christmas to not put thought into their gifts because this is really nothing new so I don't know why I'm suprised (must be those prego hormones again haha) I'm not even going to get into what DH has received from them... that's a whole different story :rolleyes:. But because this was for the baby, I wanted to make it special. So much for that haha.
 
#7
Ugh, this strikes a chord with me. My DH's family NEVER sends thank you cards and it drives me crazy. Both of his sisters have one child apiece and I sent gifts for birthdays and Christmas. I have never gotten a thank you note, an email or even a phone call to say thanks. Drives me NUTS. DH tells me that they are just "casual" and don't write thank you notes, but I personally think it's bad manners and I can hardly believe he was raised that way.
 
#8
we're a hand-written, thank you card, writing family.
and God forbid we make a mistake and forget one and great Grandma flips her lid! LOL!
We write them and I kind of expect one when I spend money on someone.
She may not have been brought up that way, I'd just call her and "make sure she got her gift" ;)
 
#9
I ALWAYS send off Thank You cards for Birthdays Christmas, etc. I dont necessarily EXPECT one from someone else, but you better believe I expect at least a Thank You over the phone! I have a friend who has a son, for his 1st birthday I went out and spent a pretty penny on gifts for him. What did I get in return?? Nothing. She didnt even say Thank You over MySpace! She told me she received the package, but never thanked me. I refuse to buy him anything else until he is old enough to say Thank You himself.
 
#10
I know, right?
Even my neighbor's two children that are 13 and 14 years old have made personalized thank you cards and have hand delivered them to us. One for when I gave the daughter a bunch of my old clothes. And the second when we gave their son a birthday card with $.
 
#11
I think it just depends on the family, my best friends family writes thank you cards about EVERYTHING but they are tightwads when it comes to gifts. The family that I used to babysit for was incredibly sweet and gave fantastic gifts (150 dollars! and a silver jewelry box) and my best friends and her sister and I all wrote thank you notes. I went to the kids baptism and brought them each a gift, but alas, no thank you note. She actually called and said that the cards on all of the gifts got mixed up and wanted to make sure that it was from my fiance and me. But she did not send a thank you card, yet she and the kids graciously gave me a valentines day gift that they had specially picked out for me. I think that it just varies family to family, some families are shocked by not sending or receiving thank you cards, while others just dont see it as a big deal, or dont even realize that it is expected.
 
#12
I (and Lil Max) ALWAYS send them. I RARELY receive them. Not a lot of people nowadays think to send them. I raised Lil Max that if he accepts a gift, then he MUST send a handwritten thank you, PERIOD.

About the only ones that do send them to me are my best friend's family (her parents and SIL...but not her, LOL) and my dad's current wife. My inlaws never send them either.
 
#13
I think it's also a "generational" thing. I was brought up to always send a note, or make a phone call to say thank you. Exceptions are always made for birthday / Christmas (we're ALL together for those holidays and thank in person), but every other event - get out those cards and hand write them!

According to my nannie (gramma), they must be hand written, neat, signed and sent within two weeks of receiving the gift. Yes, she has rules. They should be blank inside so you can write a personal message. "hallmark" pre-written thank you cards where you just sign your name and E-cards (gasp!) are not allowed.

Now, my DD's generation is all about a quick text, e-cards, or nothing at all. I think the process of hand writing and sending thank you cards went away with the influx of technology and the short attention span of youth, IMHO. They don't write letters and don't see the importance of sending hand written notes. I force my DD to send thank you cards when she receives gifts, but it's not without a fuss. For her, it's an inconvenience....for me, it's a requirement.
 
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