The difference is that she wasn’t an immigrant. But Lady H insisted she was?
Susan Hussey, Baroness Hussey of North Bradley, once Lady-inWaiting
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Insisting on getting an answer is weird on her part, period. But… why would it matter if she was an immigrant or not? Immigrants and non-immigrants can look the same in a multicultural society like the UK. She certainly has a heritage that originated somewhere outside the UK, hence the cultural dress.
So, it can be quite distressing to be “othered”. White people would never be asked, much less challenged on being British. It sends the message that the person doesn’t belong and they have to identify where they are “truly” from - likely a place they have no personal connection with.
With all the royal emphasis on etiquette and protocol it's mystifying that Lady H either didn't get training for polite interaction or else chose not to abide by it. She pestered Ngozi Fulani, pestered her. Bodily autonomy (this includes hair) is a huge, huge matter for many folks, including people of color (owing to a history of being treated as, you know, property.) This is not rocket science nor a secret.
It's almost as if some here out of hand dismiss the possibility that an elderly, titled white woman, supposedly the picture of gentility, could be inappropriate to an adult Black woman. If you can't believe this, wait til you hear about...oh, never mind.
It's almost as if some here out of hand dismiss the possibility that an elderly, titled white woman, supposedly the picture of gentility, could be inappropriate to an adult Black woman. If you can't believe this, wait til you hear about...oh, never mind.
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It’s absolutely distressing when someone insists you can’t be a citizen or resident of whichever country you live in (and again the insistence is what’s wrong) but I disagree with the idea that most immigrants, expats, etc, likely have “no personal connection” with their heritage. I have never met an immigrant who said “I completely lost my heritage and cultural background now that I’m (citizen of different country)” and I doubt Ngozi Fulani would say that either.
I am a little confused...Fulani is not an immigrant, she was born in London
But, again, she isn’t an immigrant. That is the issue. She was born in London.
My one parent was born elsewhere but I have no connection with their homeland. If someone asked me “where are you really from?” I would never mention that country because I am not from there. People who are three or for generations removed would potentially be even more distanced. Heritage and skin colour do not dictate where you belong.
I mean how exactly would that woman know she was born in London? Can she tell by looking at her (maybe this is obvious from the context of the event and I don’t know that)? I’m an immigrant and I look exactly the same as other people of my heritage who are not immigrants. I just give people the benefit of the doubt for asking the first time… asking repeatedly is where you go wrong.
You know that now, but if you were a stranger seeing her for presumably the first time I’m sure you wouldn’t be able to tell visually where she was born. But also… does being born in London erase her heritage? I guess I don’t really understand this viewpoint but if I can humbly share… I am not white. I identify with my heritage as equally as I do my citizenship. this may not be natural to a white person.
Which is interesting because the House of Windsor is mostly of German and Greek heritage and not British. So much so that in 1917, King George V changed the family name from Saxe-Coburg-Gotha to Windsor in order to appear more British and ease the Anti-German sentiments Britons had during WWI. Prince Phillip was of German and Greek origin and he spoke fluent German. He was not even a British citizen at the time he married HMTQ. And HMTQ has German roots from her father's side. Thus, King Charles III is mostly of German origin and not British.
If Fulani is a British immigrant so is King Charles III (re: above).
I know it varies among white people how much they identify with where their ancestors come from, but I can guarantee you most 1st-2nd generation immigrant POC (which this lady is) would not agree with the premise that being a UK or US citizen erases where their family is “from.”
Okay now I am more confused... she was asked her nationality, she replied that she was born "here" and was British and then she was asked again where she was "really" from...apparently that did not sit well with her but you are saying she agrees with your premise that she is "from" somewhere else? I think she would not agree since she was upset by the line of questioning...or am I missing your point entirely?
I didn’t say it erases anything but I guess I’ll just try to explain what I am saying this way - what is your heritage, where are your ancestors from (albeit still a very personal question to ask a stranger) but those are very different questions than “where are YOU from”. But here, Lady H asked the latter question, expecting the former answer. And, as we both agree, she pushed in an indelicate way.
She first asked where she was from, not her nationality. That’s the one I’m saying is fine to ask. Everything in that conversation after that was very inappropriate. I don’t know this woman but I would think she was not offended by the first question but was offended by what followed.
Reposting the transcript of the conversation for context.
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