So I'm a...

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#46
MrsOwen3 said:
Um ok, grossly inaccurate sweeping generalizations about women does not make you sound like a feminist. As far as I'm aware joining this site is voluntary, for some it's a hobby but you let me know if that's on your approved list of female pass times. Didn't you join because you need an overpriced vessel of women's subjugation to lug around the two things you need to carry?

I don't think bags and the fashion industry are the problem here but if it's as bad as you say for you, find a good tailor or seamstress to fashion you some non restrictive modest garments that you can wash. You don't have to participate in an industry you have such contempt for.

I'm a very high strung and stressed person, due to running my own business and managing my family life-not because I couldn't find three girls to walk to the bathroom with me but I think you need to relax. If this site isn't fun for you, there's a billion places on the Internet to amuse yourself that have nothing to do with fashion.
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I am sure that jpin is interested in fashion and bags![emoji3]
 
#48
Actually in my household it's my husband that's always forced to compromise because no one makes clothes that fits his body right (it's either way too tight or hangs off his shoulders) or bags that suit his style. And don't get me started on shoes. I've been trying to find a nice pair of cozy slippers for him in his size and I only see old grandpa styles while there are countless cute options for women.

It hasn't occured to him to complain though...
 
#50
I just can't with this thread. It just looks like the original poster is talking to herself. Just a little word of advice...life is too short to purposefully subject yourself to things that you don't like. I'm sure that somewhere on the WORLD WIDE WEB that there are sites that discuss feminism and fashion.
 
#51
remainsilly said:
Ah, the salad days. When judgment is green.
Yes, can be frustrating as a woman.
But, limiting? Pfffft!

Wash the dry clean only stuff. Might live. Some of mine did.
Some now fits teeny-weeny people of this world, who rummage charity shops.

Wear the same shirt/pants for 3 days. Spritz with nice-smelling stuff & change jackets.
No one is paying attention, except to their mobile phones.
Men understand this better, bless them--they must teach us such ninja dress sense.

That boring hobby stuff hasn't been mentioned to me. Not ever.
Maybe because no one wants to be smacked with a socket wrench.

And fashion? Sure, it's a business, an industry of vanity & unrealistic expectations.
But, it's the only place to buy red lipstick & warm slippers in January.
So, I'm there.

Hope you feel better & find what you need, jpin86.
The confused/angry days end, eventually. But, no fun to navigate through. Hang in. ♡
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Thank you so much! Shopping just makes me so angry. My apologies.
 
#52
jellyv said:
Curious why you thought to join a handbag and fashion forum?
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I joined because I wanted help and advice picking out a bag. It's hard because there are so many options, and there's something wrong with every single one. I really don't have a clue about bags because I only shop for them when I absolutely have to, and I had my mom or female friends help me pick out all of my previous bags.

I had settled on a small Antigona back in July, but it was so uncomfortable I had to return it. All of my other favorite bags, such as the Sac de Jour, and Balenciaga Le Dix, are so heavy you'd have to be some kind of masochist to carry them.

I am still lost. But I think I'm just going to order a Fendi DemiJour, Prada Vitello Daino tote, and a Givenchy Pandora Pure. I am not excited about any of these, but one of them will have to do I guess.
 
#53
jpin86 said:
Thank you so much! Shopping just makes me so angry. My apologies.
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All right, I'm gonna apologize for piling on. Everyone has days when they are fed up with the world, and TPF is as good a place to rant as any (although you do get some snark for it). Lord knows I have my own anti-consumerist anti-materialism rants sometimes, and then I go out and buy a new bag wrapped up in a fancy box. We're not all consistent, nor do we have to be perfect.

I hope you stay around, jpin86. Thoughtful reflections are what I like about this community. It's more than just about shopping.
 
#54
applecidered said:
A lot of men enjoy fashion as well, but it may not mean that they are feminists, e.g. fashion houses that only use size 00 models in ads.

For me, if a man looks sharp and wears well tailored suits and clothes, it really elevates how he looks. For many American men in particular, wearing oversized Adam Sandler-esque t-shirts or polos while going out it not what I consider very attractive. The US it is the only place I can think of where wearing athletic wear, baggy gym shorts, baseball caps, etc. is considered the norm. Not so much everywhere else. After all, comfort is key. Personally, I do not enjoy running errands wearing my work out clothing but a lot of men and women do.

Touching upon a broader subject, collecting or hoarding clothes, shoes, purses and other items are seen as negatives because that's typically what a woman enjoys. It's just a fact of life that anything remotely perceived as feminine is denigrated (e.g. the color pink). And that's the unfortunate reality we live in today. Let's say the reverse would be a man hoarding guitars, cars, guns, technology - those wouldn't be seen in the same light as shoes, but collecting/hoarding is still collecting/hoarding to me, regardless of item.
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Yeah, the difference is cars, guns, technology all DO things. Then again, a handbag collection is arguably not much different than an art collection I suppose.
 
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#55
catsinthebag said:
So many great answers here, but I especially loved these two. Remain Silly, as someone who spends a lot of time volunteering in animal rescue and adoption, I need to know: what was the bag that carried the wounded bat?

Vink, great point about it all being about our ability and freedom to make choices. Drilled down to the basics, that's what it's all about for me.

OP, to me, being a feminist means loving women and supporting them. If you care about women, you are in some way a feminist.

And re, how handbags relate to this issue, historically the invention of the woman's handbag was a feminist thing. A hundred or so years ago, the man carried everything and if a woman needed something, she had to ask him for it. Women carrying their own bags/possessions was a huge sign of independence. And when Coco Chanel designed the first shoulder bag, all bets were off -- women actually had the freedom to use both hands!

It's all in how you want to look at it ... :D ;):cool:
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yeah but why didn't they have pockets?
 
#58
"Man caves," which cost thousands of dollars, do nothing functionally. Sports memorabilia (and I say this as a huge sports fan) do nothing functionally.

There is a ton of frivolity involved in consumption as an act in itself, and the criticism of consumption by women (pumpkin spice latte, boy band music, clothing, handbags) as frivolous is actually a somewhat patriarchal perspective. There are apt points to be made about sexism in marketing, advertising, and attitudes in fashion and the accessories industry. Making 10 posts that straw-man-argument people who post here is not an apt point
 
#59
jpin86 said:
Yeah, I care a lot about design. I just resent that fashion for women is so impractical. I would like to be well-dressed and simultaneously comfortable, low maintenance, and unencumbered, the way men are.
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I dress like this everyday. I don't do heels and pencil skirts. I dress cute and comfortable, every single day. I don't dress for anyone but myself. And I have several bags in the price range that you mentioned that are both practical, simple and good looking. Maybe you need a shopping buddy to help point you in the right direction?
 
#60
jpin86 said:
Honestly, I see women's fashion as economic subjugation. The cost of being well dressed, for a woman, is much higher than for a man.
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littlerock said:
I dress like this everyday. I don't do heels and pencil skirts. I dress cute and comfortable, every single day. I don't dress for anyone but myself. And I have several bags in the price range that you mentioned that are both practical, simple and good looking. Maybe you need a shopping buddy to help point you in the right direction?
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YES! I would love your suggestions. I have been shopping for a long time though, and I think I have it narrowed down.

1. Prada Vitello Daino - too heavy?
2. Fendi Demi Jour - too briefcase? versatile? would I want dark grey with silver hardware or black with gold?
3. Pandora Pure - a sad step down from Antigona design-wise, but much more comfortable.
4. Fendi petite 2 Jours - I worry my stuff will fall out when I run with it, throw it, swing it, etc.
5. Fendi By the Way - Boring? Snaps awkwardly distracting?
6. *Maybe* the new Dior Open Bar - expensive, big.

I want it to close, be lightweight, comfortable to carry, etc.

I may also get a second smaller bag for when I want to be really comfortable and to keep myself from taking my Dior new lock to places where it is completely inappropriate (punk shows). I was thinking a mini Pandora or something less expensive if I could find something that is that lightweight and large enough for sunglasses.
 
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