Shopping for an e-ring as a couple

#46
Whether to shop together or not is totally a personal choice. If you're unsure how your BF would feel about this, you could ask. :smile: In my case, I told my hubby that he could propose whenever/however he wanted, but I wanted the ring process to be a joint endeavor. He was totally cool with it. Some men are more traditional and want to do it all by themselves, in that case, find out if he's open to the idea of you giving him pointers (i.e., magazine clippings, etc). If he's not open to having your input AND you've got your heart set on a specific ring, then it's time for a serious convo with your man.

In the end, most guys just want their ladies to be happy...with the proposal, with the ring, and with the fact that you'll be together forever. So having a serious conversation (or two, or three) about your expectations is the best idea.
 
#47
some of my friends do that.
1) the lady picks the ring together with the guy
2) the lady tells the guy which one she likes. And the guy will buy the ring on his own, find the right moment to propose to her

For me, I didn't know anything till he popped the ring. It doesn't matter what the ring design is, cos to receive something he chose has more sentimental value. Hope I make sense. :smile:
 
#48
eckertle, is that yours?
I've been enjoying it @ PS!

Megs, I conpletely concur!:yes:
In our romantic fantasy our man surprises us w/ the ring of our dreams, unbeknownst to us it was coming!

IRL, we don't want to be presented w/ a jacked up ring . . . . and we'll need a manicure so it looks nice that night and of course we'll want to be dressed for the occasion . . . but all the while it needs to be a surprise! :lol:
 
#49
My DF is soooo conscious about making things perfect. We had been talking about getting engaged for a couple of months, and I knew he was waiting to get engaged until he could ask my dad in person.

I knew that if left to his own devices, he'd spend days looking at every ring in town and then pick the one he thought was perfect. What if I hated it??? He'd be devastated!

So I looked by myself. I was so convinced that I wanted a princess cut center with side stones - I had quite a few "perfect" rings on my wish list at BlueNile. But once I tried on a few of them in a store, it just wasn't me. I fell in love with an EC solitaire. And then I printed a picture of what I wanted and left it on my desk in our office. He didn't pick up the hint (he's kinda thick headed sometimes), so I flat out showed it to him. He said "if that's the ring you want, that's the ring we're going to get."

Later that day, he started looking for his own wedding band. After we got the ring, he left me try it on, and then made me wait four whole days! He asked me early one morning, not very romantic and not a surprise, but definitely very sweet. All in all, it was everything I wanted.

Men just want to make us happy. I think that probably 90% would welcome a little guidance in the engagement ring department! It's easier for them to surprise us with what we want than to pick out what they think we'll like.
 
#50
I think shopping for your E-ring as a couple is a fantastic idea. My BF and I started by looking in shop windows, then one day he said 'come on lets just try it' and then from there I tried on nearly every different shape diamond to get an idea of what I wanted and what suited me. I originally had my heart and mind set on a marquise, but once I tried it on it did not suit me.

I am so glad we ended up looking together because otherwise I would've ended up with the marquise, put it on, and been disappointed.

In the end, the cushion cut was my favourite, so we picked the diamond together and it is his job to have the ring made up. This was a few months ago now... so now I just have to wait! I guess the only negative thing about doing it our way is you have to have patience! :smile:
 
#52
We didn't go shopping for the engagement ring together. But my husband tried to be a bit sly about it by taking me jewellery shopping for my birthday and asking me which type of ring i liked. I kept choosing what he called were cheap ones because i didn't want him to spend too much on a ring that i thought was just a birthday pressie :P so in the end when he proposed he also booked me an appointment with a jeweller and i ended up designing my own engagement ring. It also worked out cheaper this way, i got all my quotes for free, i got to choose what size diamonds i wanted, what clarity, colour, carat and cut and which metal i wanted for the setting. She sourced all of that for me and i paid less than half of what i would've paid at a jewellery store. My jeweller also taught me how tell diamonds apart according to clarity and colour. It was a great experience for me and i'm really gratefull my hubby gave me the chance to do it that way because i would've been happy taking any ring he happen to choose for me :smile:
 
#53
It is very interesting to hear that so many people do shop as a couple.

Swanky totally right... I don't want to know, but I want to know so I look good, have my nails done, have my hair nice, have a new outfit on, have makeup on, just everything! I guess it will just be what it is, and what it is will be perfect :love:
 
#54
We went shopping together after his 'surprise' proposal. (I knew it was coming). I'm very picky, so I think he was too scared to pick out a ring by himself. I actually liked having a proposal without a ring, a ring would have distracted me. It took me awhile to pick out my ring (and to get comfortable talking about a ring budget, that was hard!) But I ended up with a second hand classic Tiffany solitaire. I totally love it! Its very chic and simple and actually it was my fiance's favorite too as a bonus (although not at all necessary).
 
#55
We didn't mean to go shopping together.. but we ended up looking at rings A Tiffany one day while I was waiting for my ring to be cleaned (coincidentally, a ring that is usually bought as a wedding band! :P). The SA seemed very eager to help and told us about many couples who come in and look at rings together.. (Well, actually the content of the story was that many women want BIG BIG BIG and their bfs are always cringing and looking like they want to hide, which is why they decided to have a chair perfectly positioned next to the counter! :biggrin:) I think it's perfectly fine and even recommended to go together because in the end, it is going to be your ring. And hopefully it will also be the only e-ring you ever receive. So of course, both you and your BF would want to get the perfect ring.

As for myself, I've already gotten it over with because I've always known which ring I want and while we were waiting for my ring to be cleaned, I saw the perfect size too! Since my bf and I are very certain about our futures together, he already has the information down. (The SA was nice enough to write down everything for us, LOL!) Now I just have to wait until he can actually afford it! hahah :P
 
#56
I didn't get an e/r until after we were married! We'd been living together for 6 yrs and had started talking about kids. It was only when I made it clear I wouldn't have them without being married my then BF said (while I was ironing!) - well, guess we'd better get married then! Oh, how romantic!!!!
We'd been married about 6 months when I marched him into the jewellers and chose a solitaire diamond.
I've added other rings over the years but we've never done that exciting bit of going into a shop & choosing a stunner. So, he's agreed that as it's almost 20 yrs now, I can have a new diamond wedding band from Tiffany when we come over to New York in March 2009. Yippeee!
 
#57
So far we've visited one store together. We weren't going to buy it that day....just had time to kill. Well, we found a size and band style that we both liked and agreed somewhat on a budget. He has yet to buy it and propose but he reminds me that he's saving up for it. It's sweet. I can't wait for it to actually happen because I know he'll put a lot of thought into it! :love:
 
#58
IntlSet said:
Gosh, I hope this doesn't sound stupid, but here goes... do couples really shop for engagement rings together? Is this abnormal? Then how does the proposal go?

I do not want my current boyfriend to pick my ring. He has very definite tastes about what he likes that do not align with my own, but I'll be the one to wear it. I would be perfectly happy shopping for a ring with him, picking out the one I want, and putting it on -- voila, no big song and dance show with bended knee, etc. Call me unsentimental!

Did anyone else do something like that? How does this work? I've seen couples together in private consultations at Tiffany... hmm.
Click to expand...

I was like you!
I knew what I wanted (and didn't want) and since I was going to be the one wearing it and my fiance (now husband) wanted me to be happy, we sort of picked it out together. What actually happened was I picked out a setting from Tiffany that I wanted, but we knew there was no way we could afford. My husband did a ton (and I mean a ton) of research and finally came across a ring that he thought was very similiar. So he showed it to me and I loved it. And then we purchased it.

We are actually very non-traditional about some things! For instance, we got married on a cruise on the Meditterranean, and it was just he and I! ​
Oh, and when we got it, I wanted to put it on right away...and he actually stopped me and said "shouldn't I ask you to marry me?" so he put the ring on me, but did not get down on one knee...just not our style I guess!
 
#59
I am dealing with this same issue. I have dropped my share of hints on the styles I like and don't like via email :smile: He has been asking my ring size since about 6 months into the relationship which is now a bit over 3 years. We moved in last year with one of the main reasons being for him to pay off debt and save money for it and whatever other wedding related expenses we may have so it is no big secret. We know we plan to get married and have discussed it for 2 years. It IS a major purchase and I've harped on the fact that he has done no research at all on his own at this point but the plan is to purchase in the upcoming few months. I think he feels this is his thing to do on his own and I should stay out of it but like many have said I guess I'd like to have input into something I hope to wear forever and not feel a need to upgrade. And like others have said truly it is about the commitment to each other and not the jewelry so I would cherish whatever he got but of course would like to truly love the style of it. We are not planning on doing anything traditional wedding wise...most likely we will do it remotely ourselves somewhere and come back and have a small party....so because of that I am not getting the need to be so traditional with the engagement. I am also not a fan of paying retail for anything when I can avoid it...especially on things that depreciate so quickly after purchase....so I am definitely up for looking at pre-owned items as well. I've seen some really nice ones and feel a better ring can be had for nearly half the comparable retail cost.
 
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