Shakespearean Insults

  1. Anyone else love these?

    Yes, you could call someone an ass, a bastard or a *****. Or, you could be more literary about it and tell them they're as loathsome as a toad!

    Here are my favorites:
    (And feel free to post yours!)

    • Thou thing of no bowels thou!
    • [Thou art] a disease that must be cut away.
    • [Thou art] a most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.
    • Methink'st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.
    • [Thou] shall stand in fire up to the navel and in ice up to th'heart, and there th'offending part burns and the deceiving part freezes.
    • I make as good use of [thine face] as many a man doth of a death's-head, or a momento mori.
    • O teach me how I should forget to think.
  2. Mine is not as clever as yours, but I like to call people STRUMPETS! As in "You bloody strumpet" or "Bloody strumpet".
  3. I've taken to referring to certain people as Shrews. (Heather Mills, for one. When she was on Dancing with the Stars, every time she was onscreen I automatically thought, "Shrew!)
  4. Haha those are so great, I'd love to call someone one of those. My fave from your list is the one that says:
    Methink'st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.

    I think it would be hilarious to say something like that to someone, especially if they'd been really rude or insulting, adding some Shakespeare to the mix would definitely making it more interesting!
  5. ahh love this thread! great insults which i will use in an undiscriminating manner ;)

    me thinkest thou have stumbled upon a mine of words as valued as gold, entirely appropriate (if not necessary) for this day and age.

  6. Some more:

    • Hence, horrible villain, or I'll spurn thine eyes like balls before me; I'll unhair thy head, Thou shalt be whipp'd with wire, and stew'd'in brine, smarting in lingering pickle.
    • Rogue, thou hast liv'd too long.
    • [Thou] foul defacer of God's handiwork.
    • [Thine] sole name blisters our tongues.
    • [Thine] face is not worth sunburning.
    • Thou art unfit for any place but hell.
    • Thou sham'st the music of sweet news
      By playing it to me with so sour a face.
    • Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes.
    • Why thou globe of sinful continents, what a life dost thou lead!
    • If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt.