Sad realization...

[Camper]

I would of still married my Husband with out a E-ring.

We were not in a very good financial position when we got engaged but he bought the best he could find in his "budget". I would not of felt comfortable mentioning rings that would of put him/us under more financial strain then we were at the time.

I have a girlfried who is a multi millionaire. Her rings are all CZ. No one knows! Her husband was just starting out in business when they got engaged and married but they wanted to give the "impression" that they had lots of cash. She now has all the $ she could ever want but she still hasn't upgrade the rings.

You can fake the ring (and a little blue box) but you can't fake a good marriage.

Ok.. I am buying CZs now till I am so rich that i don't know what to do with my money.

Mine is 0.5 c solitaire (D, VVS1, GIA, 100% platinum) e-ring which looked exactly like Tiffany's. I did not know what Tiffany's e-ring looks like back then. It cost only a tiny fraction of Tiffany's (2K?).

But lately, I feel that I want to get a bigger ring since my neighbours all have big flashy ones (and the are big as well; I am tiny).

Come to think about it, I believe it is all peer pressure. I do not actually want a hefty big ring. I rarely wear mine lately; only wear my super plain platinum wedding band which is more pracctical.

Media is also to blame. We do not really need these things to be happy. I realised that with my 'passion' for LVs, I do not feel anything more or less after purchasing my first one. Tired to move to Hermes and still feels the same. So I am back to the primitive basic; be happy with whatever I have. All these fancy brands does not make me any happier....

But I am still here admiring everyone's pruchases!

 

[black jade]

Bluenile.com is great. Whiteflash.com is also great.

Congrats on finding the right guy! That is the most important thing. Good luck with finding the right ring.

He can get you another solitaire later for your special anniversary. I got one for my 25th anniversary this year and its almost as precious as my original e-ring--that he still wnated to give me a ring 25 years later!

One of my grandmothers got married with no engagement ring, just a plain gold band, and was married for 60plus happy years.

The other one got a fantastic engagement ring--white gold, big diamond, beautiful Art Deco filigree. She got married--or so she thought. And guess what? The guy (my grandfather, I'm ashamed to say) was already married to someone else and not divorced and had little kids! Great ring--lousy man.

Merry Christmas to you and congratulations!

 

[Bagluvluv]

You can have it...just dont let it over shadow whats really important...

Just start saving up slowly, and sooner than you think, it will be yours....

I did the same things with things I've always wanted..and you know what...its funny that before you purchase it, its everything...but after...it becomes just another thing you own...

 

[jbelle]

Oh how I understand that Tiffany siren call.

Back when my boyfriend and I were thinking of getting engaged, I would drop hints that Tiffany made the best engagement rings. I loved everything about the brand - their Art Nouveau/Deco history, the settings and diamonds, and most definitely the romance that surrounded it. I didn't care what I got - as long as it was a Tiffany. I was so enamoured of the name and reputation that I didn't even consider budget. Well, guess what he popped the question with? That's right - a classic Tiffany 6 prong-solitaire - and it looked silly on me. He bought the best he could afford, but at Tiffany's it didn't go very far. I didn't want to say anything, because it was me that had requested it, but the ring just felt 'wrong.' But after observing my ambivalence, he said that he was surprised I preferred their jewelry over all others and had had something prettier, more 'me' (aka antique-style) in mind that he saw at a mom&pop jewelers. I embarrassingly admitted that I'd fallen for a certain allure. Thankfully, he said that the Tiffany ring was just a 'prop' engagement ring, and if it didn't feel right, we could take it back.

After we returned it, he went back to the mom&pop jewelers, picked out a lovelier diamond and sapphire side stones, and had my engagement ring custom-made. It took about 3 months. But in the end, it was cheaper but bigger, better, and much more beautiful than the Tiffany's - not only aesthetically but because of the sentiment behind it and the lengths he went to to give me something that was more 'me' in terms of style, and more 'us' in terms of budget.

 

[sputnik]

i'll be brutally honest and say i think the OP is being a little silly. and shallow.
that said, if a big diamond or a tiffany ring is so important, start saving and help pay for it. but then i'm non-traditional and i think a marriage is a partnership and the whole storybook proposal and surprise ring stuff leaves me cold, and there's no reason for a guy to go into debt to make you happy.

personally, i think tiffany diamonds are ridiculously overpriced. a diamond is a diamond, platinum is platinum, no matter what the label says. you can get the same quality and workmanship for a much better price at an independent jeweller.

 

[Mrs. MC]

i'll be brutally honest and say i think the OP is being a little silly. and shallow.
that said, if a big diamond or a tiffany ring is so important, start saving and help pay for it. but then i'm non-traditional and i think a marriage is a partnership and the whole storybook proposal and surprise ring stuff leaves me cold, and there's no reason for a guy to go into debt to make you happy.

personally, i think tiffany diamonds are ridiculously overpriced. a diamond is a diamond, platinum is platinum, no matter what the label says. you can get the same quality and workmanship for a much better price at an independent jeweller.

I don't think the op being "silly or shallow". I think when you go to this forum and you see all of the beatiful rings that people have it is hard to not feel like this IMO. I do agree that some people get enthralled with the whole designer thing but to tell you the truth, nobody ever asks about my rings, their specs or where they came from so I don't see the point in buying a Tiffany diamond ring when I could get a bigger or just as good quality one for much less money. A ring is not all about materialism, nor should it define what we feel for the other person but it does say that a man is serious enough to put time and money into something that represents the comittment he is willing to make. Hopefully the op will be happy with the life that they can make for themselves.

 

[sputnik]

^^^
sorry if my post sounded harsh, i really didn't mean to offend. and she did wonder if she was being shallow so i just answered. and like i said, if you really want a bigger or more expensive ring than your SO can afford, then chip in toward the cost.

 

[airedale3]

I am getting in on this late, but I would like to offer my opinion. I have a very nice 1/2 carat diamond ring. It is pretty, but honestly it does not sparkle any more than some of my Diamonique rings from QVC. They even have a Tacori line that is gorgeous. One of my Diamonique rings fooled a jeweler who told me that he could spot a CZ when someone walked into the store. Ha, I fooled him!!! It felt good too. I don't worry about wearing my QVC rings anywhere. I do worry about my diamond! I really don't think that many people can tell a real diamond from a really good
CZ. You can get rings from QVC set in white and yellow 14kt gold.
If you want to see a real sparkler, check out the Star 129 diamonds. They have 129 facets and they really, really sparkle. I have seen them in person and they truly are amazing.
The most important thing is to have someone who really loves you and treats you like a Queen even if he can't afford the finest Tiffany diamond.

 

[simplysplendid]

Hi,

Tiffany sells good diamonds, that's a fact. However, their diamonds (I am referring to round brilliant cut ones, not their in house cut such as as Novo or Lucida which can only be purchased from them) may not be ideal cut diamonds. You can easily purchase ideal cut diamonds at the much cheaper price elsewhere. For round diamonds, I would choose a bigger, ideal cut diamond rather than to purchase one just because it is from Tiffany. I prefer not to pay for the blue box. If you would like more information about ideal cut diamonds, you may want to take a look at pricescope.com. The folks there will be able to help you find a gorgeous stone (possibly better cut stone) at a better price than you can at Tiffany.

 

[morepennies]

I have long been dreaming about getting engaged.. but I have come to realized that I will never have my dream ring. I am shallow? A big dreamer? I was born into a very poor family. I know work and go to school my dream is to become a teacher. My boyfriend for 3 years is a school bus driver. He make enough for us to make a happy home. But he will never be able to buy me a Tiffany Engagement ring. I saw them this week and feel in love. He would never be able to afford it, and a part of me does not want him to buy it. But I dream of it. In its little box. He promised that no matter what he would get me a real ring, but I know he will never consider a Tiffany. I love him, he is amazing, he loves his job and I know he is happy. I am happy, but It is sad to think that I could never have my dream ring. I should be happy to get any ring from him, and I would be, but oh a tiffany ring. They are so bright and shiny, I felt like I was a deer stuck in a headlight. I am being evil, here. Am I a ungrateful person?
What do you guys think about the amount of money being spent in e-rings? Is there any guilt? How much is okay to spend, or how much should be spent? For those ladies who have Tiffany Engagement Rings, are your hubby wealthy? or am I over thinking this?

I totally understand where you are coming from and I don't think you are being shallow at all. (To me, being shallow would be, "I can't marry him because he'll never give me the ring I want.") I think you are just being honest. I know that there's more to marriage than a ring, but it sure does seem like many of the women who have their dream rings (or almost dream rings) really seem to enjoy them.

I received a really nice engagement ring, but was it my dream ring? Not exacty. When he and I looked at rings together, we looked at 1 carat or more. I loved the way a 1 carat looked on my finger. He proposed with a .84 carat ring set in platinum. It's a very beautiful ring (nice quality stone and I get a lot of compliments), but a small, very shallow part of me felt a slight wave of disappointment. I knew right away that it was not 1 carat because I had memorized how a 1 carat would look on my finger; it was ingrained. :shame: And I have a wonderful husband...but I still think about it from time to time. I sometimes envy those women whose husbands saved $10,000.00 or more so that their wives could have a really nice ring. My husband spend under $5000.00 and there's a part of me that feels like I was lucky to get that. I get a lot of compliments on the ring, but I feel a little cheated somehow...Like, I wish I had never tried on the 1 carat rings. Then I would have never known.

It's been almost 10 years and you know what the irony is? I don't really wear the ring that much. I often just wear my wedding band which is a very simple platinum band. My "not quite the dream ring" gets caught in my gloves during the winter because it's so big under my gloves. And I enjoy wearing just the band on my left hand so that I can go really bold on my right hand with a colored gemstone.

 

[AlbertsLove]

I totally understand where you are coming from and I don't think you are being shallow at all. (To me, being shallow would be, "I can't marry him because he'll never give me the ring I want.") I think you are just being honest. I know that there's more to marriage than a ring, but it sure does seem like many of the women who have their dream rings (or almost dream rings) really seem to enjoy them.

I received a really nice engagement ring, but was it my dream ring? Not exacty. When he and I looked at rings together, we looked at 1 carat or more. I loved the way a 1 carat looked on my finger. He proposed with a .84 carat ring set in platinum. It's a very beautiful ring (nice quality stone and I get a lot of compliments), but a small, very shallow part of me felt a slight wave of disappointment. I knew right away that it was not 1 carat because I had memorized how a 1 carat would look on my finger; it was ingrained. :shame: And I have a wonderful husband...but I still think about it from time to time. I sometimes envy those women whose husbands saved $10,000.00 or more so that their wives could have a really nice ring. My husband spend under $5000.00 and there's a part of me that feels like I was lucky to get that. I get a lot of compliments on the ring, but I feel a little cheated somehow...Like, I wish I had never tried on the 1 carat rings. Then I would have never known.

It's been almost 10 years and you know what the irony is? I don't really wear the ring that much. I often just wear my wedding band which is a very simple platinum band. My "not quite the dream ring" gets caught in my gloves during the winter because it's so big under my gloves. And I enjoy wearing just the band on my left hand so that I can go really bold on my right hand with a colored gemstone.

Aww . I know what u mean. Since this thread I have realized a lot. The man matters more, but I can still understand how u wanted something and did not get it. Someone did call me shallow, but I do not think I am . I know he can not afford it, nor I would like him to buy it for me. I much rather get a car, then a 15,000 rings that I saw. I am not shallow, because I think a shallow person would turn him away because he did not have a 1+ carat ring. Its kinda the way he dreams of a Honda s2000, hard top. That is his dream, but He would never put that much money into a car. We all have the right to dream big. Like they say reach for the moon and if you fall, you will land in the stars. There is no fault in that. I told him to please be as romantic as he can, but then I told him, do what ur heart wants. So I am hoping that it is. I bet when he gave you that ring he meant it with all his heart. I think it is important that a man is willing to save up, and buy a nice ring for his lady. If that is what he wanted. I will never want to tell him to buy it, cause he has to. I would be happy with a 1,000 or less ring. Really I would. If I ever, ever get that Tiffany ring I would
In that order. But I know it is not going to happen. Maybe If I find myself and old rich man , nah its not worth it. He he, I will stick to my man...

 

[risingsun]

AlbertsLove~you never know what life may bring further down the road. After 14 years of marriage, I have my dream ring and my husband has his S2000. I do not think you are being shallow. I think you have expressed your dreams and desires. There is nothing wrong with that.

 

[morepennies]

AlbertsLove, I totally agree with risingsun. You never know....he may be able to afford the ring of your dreams one day and much more. It looks as if he wants you to be happy.

My issue with my husband is that he could afford to buy the type of ring I wanted when we were engaged, but chose not to spend that much. He can more than afford it now but he would never choose to spend that type of money on a piece of jewelry. He's very successful, but very practical, which is a good thing. But it's kind of hard sometimes when I see people getting upgrades after only 5 years but after almost 10 years it just doesn't seem to be in the cards for me. I've come to the sad realization that unlike many of the women on this forum, I didn't marry the "upgrade her jewelry" kind of guy. That's okay. I buy my own dream jewelry. I never disappoint myself because I know exactly what I want.

 

[AlbertsLove]

AlbertsLove~you never know what life may bring further down the road. After 14 years of marriage, I have my dream ring and my husband has his S2000. I do not think you are being shallow. I think you have expressed your dreams and desires. There is nothing wrong with that.

Aww I thank you. I love that your hubby and you got what you wanted. I am so happy for you and him. I want a happy life with him more than anything. I dream big, I think it is important, if we don't then whats the point right? He may not be the perfect guy and he has made me cry but he has never done anything on purpose to hurt me, and that means a lot more. I hope that one day I can help him buy his dream car....

 

[AlbertsLove]

AlbertsLove, I totally agree with risingsun. You never know....he may be able to afford the ring of your dreams one day and much more. It looks as if he wants you to be happy.

My issue with my husband is that he could afford to buy the type of ring I wanted when we were engaged, but chose not to spend that much. He can more than afford it now but he would never choose to spend that type of money on a piece of jewelry. He's very successful, but very practical, which is a good thing. But it's kind of hard sometimes when I see people getting upgrades after only 5 years but after almost 10 years it just doesn't seem to be in the cards for me. I've come to the sad realization that unlike many of the women on this forum, I didn't marry the "upgrade her jewelry" kind of guy. That's okay. I buy my own dream jewelry. I never disappoint myself because I know exactly what I want.

Sometimes I think it is great to know that you can buy yourself something nice. I love buying myself nice things. Does your hubby know that u want an upgrade? I am glad that even though you have money he likes to save. It shows he thinks about the future even if right now he has money.
See my Bf is not broke at all... he make good money, yeah not great, but he pays very little rent. So he has money to spare. Right now all he thinks about is saving money to move in together. He says he does want to buy me a nice ring, but he rather save the money our apartment. We want to move in. We have done some ring shopping and we got some credit with a jeweler. We bought me some diamond studs, so we can keep good credit with them. But he told me whatever ring I want to get he wants to pay more than half cash and let the rest go into the credit. He hated knowing that he owes money.So Its saving, saving for me and him.