Question for the moms.......

Syntagma

Syntagma

Member
Sep 6, 2006
4,918
2
#1
How would you feel if you had a relative visting your home and they asked the folowing questions about your child:

How often do you bathe him?
What did he eat today?
Do you play music for him?
Do you read him a story?
Do you rock him to sleep?
Do you take him for walks?

Are these questions you would take as someone who is simply curious and wants to know about how to raise a child or someone questioning your parenting? Keep in mind this person has no children. However they work with children on a daily basis. Just wondering! THANKS!
 
#2
i'm not a mom, but i am a curious childless person. :smile: i've asked all those questions of my SIL at one point or another because i was curious/wanted to be involved in the conversation somehow....but always in context and never in rapid fire succession. all of those questions at once (or even in a single day/visit) would feel like an interrogation to me.

i think it would depend on the tone used. and the relationship with your relative.
that said: if it feels like judging, it probably is. :s
 
#3
I have never met this person IRL until this week and there was no conversation in reference to the children before these questions. It was all very strange and your use of the word interrogated is about right. Also, she has sisters with children. She doesn't need me to teach her.
 
#4
My grandma kept asking me those types of questions in relation to my dog...then there was a lot of critism about how I may not take her out for walks enough and I should just leave her with my parents because I can't take care of her.
 
#6
I kind of get the feeling she was showing off her knowledge, to me these question sound like something you would ask a potential nanny/caretaker and not a mother :oh:
 
#7
I would say, "Hmmm....generally I like to lock him in his room with a bag of Doritos and the TV tuned to Cartoon Network, but after hearing all those questions, maybe I should incorporate some of those things into our weekly routine!!" Said in a joking way...it could get the point across!!!
 
#9
I dont find it weird.. Sometimes when i meet someone for the first time i feel that she wants to have a conversation with me but doesn't know what to talk about.. since i have toddlers she assumed i enjoy and love talking about their schedule!! lol
 
#10
I'm so glad I'm finished with that stuff!!! I used to just listen to everyone tell me what to do, then do it the way I wanted to. Reading to children is wonderful, as is music; but sometimes we get too tired (exhausted) to do those things.

Follow what your heart says, unless the child is sick, no one knows better what your baby wants than you do.

Good luck to you.
 
#11
Those are all very strange questions, especially coming from someone you've never met before.

Her questions would have for sure sent up some red flags with me because they're not normal questions that someone would ask someone they didn't know. Heck, my (ex) best friend had three kids for the first 10 years or so of our relationship and I had none. I don't think I ever asked her those type of questions!

She was interrogating you. For what reason? I don't know. But I will say this, they sound like the type of questions someone who plans on taking care of your child would ask. Not trying to freak you out but I would watch her around your child.
 
#12
Syntagma said:
How would you feel if you had a relative visting your home and they asked the folowing questions about your child:

How often do you bathe him?
What did he eat today?
Do you play music for him?
Do you read him a story?
Do you rock him to sleep?
Do you take him for walks?

Are these questions you would take as someone who is simply curious and wants to know about how to raise a child or someone questioning your parenting? Keep in mind this person has no children. However they work with children on a daily basis. Just wondering! THANKS!
Click to expand...

I have been asked these questions by people. The only thing is, the norm is around 2-3 questions. More than that and I would get annoyed as the questions are rather intrusive.

If these people did work with children on a daily basis and thereby knew the normal behaviours and routines of children of toddler/elementary school age, I would think that they were questioning your parenting. Some people follow up these questions with (after you answer the questions to the best of your ability) "But _ {book/famous person/other relative} says that you should do it this way..." and then you really can tell!
 
#13
I think it's very weird and inappropriate. It is like she's questioning your parenting skills. The only question I was ever asked that bothered me was when my daughter was going through a phase when she wouldn't eat anything but meat, yogurt and bread. A neighbor/friend said, "Didn't you feed her all different things when she was a baby so she would get used to them?" That really ticked me off because I did feed her a variety of things, just like I did my son, but for some reason she hit a picky stage.
 
#14
They do seem a bit intrusive from someone you've only just met, I have a friend who works with kids but has none of her own and her manner is a bit like this too so it could be just thier way. However, always trust your instinct and if they are making you feel uncomfortable at all then be polite but stay alert.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top
Back