people who abuse liberal return policies

[TC1]

I have a pair of Nikes I haven’t had time to return within 2 weeks, return window is probably longer but at this point I’m fine with wearing it—I don’t love the look but it was a good deal plus I need a pair of shoes to bum around in when walking through urban, dirty streets.

So many times I've found myself in a situation where something doesn't work out and I've just given it away to a friend or kept it. I can't recall the last time I returned something in person. I mailed back a tee shirt for my brothers girlfriend to a huge retailer (within the return window) and it's till been annoying me

 

[DME]

I love the Miss Manners column and the topic of thank you notes comes up frequently. At last check, they are still required. And the long-held timeframes on how long you have to give, say, a wedding gift and how long the recipient has to send a thank you note still hold. That said, I feel like the younger generation just doesn’t do these much anymore. I blame that on parents not teaching their children good manners! My niece just got married earlier this month and we sent a card with a check (couldn’t make the wedding). We’ll see if a thank you note materializes. I’m not holding my breath.

Since there was recently a reaction to this, thought I would update and say my niece has still not sent a thank you note. She’s still within the window, but it’s closing in a little bit…

 

[limom]

Since there was recently a reaction to this, thought I would update and say my niece has still not sent a thank you note. She’s still within the window, but it’s closing in a little bit…

Was the check cashed?
Nowadays, I settle for a text/phone call.

 

[sdkitty]

I love the Miss Manners column and the topic of thank you notes comes up frequently. At last check, they are still required. And the long-held timeframes on how long you have to give, say, a wedding gift and how long the recipient has to send a thank you note still hold. That said, I feel like the younger generation just doesn’t do these much anymore. I blame that on parents not teaching their children good manners! My niece just got married earlier this month and we sent a card with a check (couldn’t make the wedding). We’ll see if a thank you note materializes. I’m not holding my breath.

I sent checks to my two nephews a few months ago - one who got married (no guests, just went to courthouse) and one who bought a home with his fiancé. The one who got married promptly sent me a very nice email and later a written card. The other one never acknowledged the check (though he did cash it). I feel like if he doesn't have the grace to do a thank you his fiancé could have done it for him. She's pregnant now and I'll think twice about a baby gift (they live far away from me).

 

[DME]

Was the check cashed?
Nowadays, I settle for a text/phone call.

Yep, it was cashed within days of when I mailed it. And the U.S. postal service is notoriously slow these days, so my guess is it went straight into the account the moment it was opened. Online banking makes that sooooo much easier than when I got married! We had to visit the bank. In person. During banking hours, which is hard when you have a full-time job with similar hours.

As of today, still no thank you note. Another niece had a bridal shower last weekend and my guess is I will see that thank you note long before the one for the check arrives, if it ever arrives (the niece who had the shower is more responsible).

 

[DME]

I sent checks to my two nephews a few months ago - one who got married (no guests, just went to courthouse) and one who bought a home with his fiancé. The one who got married promptly sent me a very nice email and later a written card. The other one never acknowledged the check (though he did cash it). I feel like if he doesn't have the grace to do a thank you his fiancé could have done it for him. She's pregnant now and I'll think twice about a baby gift (they live far away from me).

So frustrating about the second nephew! Is it really that hard to acknowledge an act of kindness, even if it’s an expected one?

I agree with your reply to my post that I would settle for an email, or text. Just something to say you received the gift.

DD is a teenager and I make sure she acknowledges every gift. One fun way has been to take a photo of her with the gift (even if it’s a check) and text a thank you. We live far from most of our family, so I feel this is a nice way for them to see how she’s growing, too. (Outside of tPF, I don’t do social!)

 

[sdkitty]

So frustrating about the second nephew! Is it really that hard to acknowledge an act of kindness, even if it’s an expected one?

I agree with your reply to my post that I would settle for an email, or text. Just something to say you received the gift.

DD is a teenager and I make sure she acknowledges every gift. One fun way has been to take a photo of her with the gift (even if it’s a check) and text a thank you. We live far from most of our family, so I feel this is a nice way for them to see how she’s growing, too. (Outside of tPF, I don’t do social!)

that's nice that you're teaching your daughter to be considerate. It will benefit her.
I agree, an email is sufficient; I don't require a handwritten card. I don't know if you can blame the parents in my case as the two sons came from the same parents. I never said a word to my sister but I'm sure she's aware of the gifts.
And in the case of the one who didn't respond I don't think it was expected. As a matter of fact, I've been a pretty bad aunt over the years as far as gifts and cards. So when I sent them a check to buy something for their new home it would have been a surprise.

 

[etoile de mer]

Wanting to share my return story from yesterday. I'd ordered two items from Nordstrom that were not offered at my local store. Unfortunately, ordering was the only way to see in person, and on arrival I realized neither was a good match for me. So, off I went yesterday AM to return to my local store, while feeling a bit badly for having to return two items.

I queued up at the return area where there were two SAs at registers handling returns. I thought, "yay, I'm next in line", as each SA was helping a customer, so I thought for sure I'd be in and out quickly. Well, customer on the left had about 6-7 items, some apparently with tags that had been removed! This had her fishing around to match items with tags. Customer on the right had two big bags of items to return. Just as the SA worked through her pile on the counter, more items appeared from her bags. Some of her items also had tags removed, and the SA spent time reattaching the tags! Hmm...does someone check those items later for wear? A pair of high-heeled shoes she returned had visible, significant wear! Those went into a plastic bag, to be tossed? After waiting about 15 min. customer on the right was finally done (customer on the left was still being helped, she had less items, but each apparently was confusing to the SA in some way). The SA for customer on the right counted up the total number of her returns apparently to verify with her (17 items!!). They finished, and she told the SA (calling him by his first name) that she'd be back the next day with more items to return!

I was really kind of shocked by this whole scene. I'm not in the habit of hanging out in return lines, maybe all this is normal? It really had me wishing they'd be less liberal with their return policy, and had me feeling sorry for the SA having to handle all these (possibly and some visibly) worn items. I'd want to wear gloves! Of course, both SAs were polite and friendly, and the one that helped me apologized for keeping me waiting (which was completely out of his control). Whether purchased in store or online, after witnessing this, I'll be even more inclined now to check items I buy for damage or wear.

 

[kadya]

Wanting to share my return story from yesterday. I'd ordered two items from Nordstrom that were not offered at my local store. Unfortunately, ordering was the only way to see in person, and on arrival I realized neither was a good match for me. So, off I went yesterday AM to return to my local store, while feeling a bit badly for having to return two items.

I queued up at the return area where there were two SAs at registers handling returns. I thought, "yay, I'm next in line", as each SA was helping a customer, so I thought for sure I'd be in and out quickly. Well, customer on the left had about 6-7 items, some apparently with tags that had been removed! This had her fishing around to match items with tags. Customer on the right had two big bags of items to return. Just as the SA worked through her pile on the counter, more items appeared from her bags. Some of her items also had tags removed, and the SA spent time reattaching the tags! Hmm...does someone check those items later for wear? A pair of high-heeled shoes she returned had visible, significant wear! Those went into a plastic bag, to be tossed? After waiting about 15 min. customer on the right was finally done (customer on the left was still being helped, she had less items, but each apparently was confusing to the SA in some way). The SA for customer on the right counted up the total number of her returns apparently to verify with her (17 items!!). They finished, and she told the SA (calling him by his first name) that she'd be back the next day with more items to return!

I was really kind of shocked by this whole scene. I'm not in the habit of hanging out in return lines, maybe all this is normal? It really had me wishing they'd be less liberal with their return policy, and had me feeling sorry for the SA having to handle all these (possibly and some visibly) worn items. I'd want to wear gloves! Of course, both SAs were polite and friendly, and the one that helped me apologized for keeping me waiting (which was completely out of his control). Whether purchased in store or online, after witnessing this, I'll be even more inclined now to check items I buy for damage or wear.

I do in-store pickup a lot for both Nordstrom and Nordstrom Rack - the line for returns/pickups is the same in both my locations - and I’ve noticed I am more often in line behind people returning more than a dozen items than I used to be.
I was in Nordstrom Rack the other day returning a pair of boots I had purchased online and was behind a woman with two large boxes of items. A total of 36 items returned, and she was arguing that the SA needed to go through it again because she was *sure* XYZ item was in that pile. At that point, how could you even remember?!
(In the end, she conceded she must have left it at home and would be back with it.)
My biggest question is, did she keep anything at all? Was 36 items her whole order, or did she get like 60 items and keep half? Either way I felt a little better about my own shopping habits that day lol

 

[etoile de mer]

I do in-store pickup a lot for both Nordstrom and Nordstrom Rack - the line for returns/pickups is the same in both my locations - and I’ve noticed I am more often in line behind people returning more than a dozen items than I used to be.
I was in Nordstrom Rack the other day returning a pair of boots I had purchased online and was behind a woman with two large boxes of items. A total of 36 items returned, and she was arguing that the SA needed to go through it again because she was *sure* XYZ item was in that pile. At that point, how could you even remember?!
(In the end, she conceded she must have left it at home and would be back with it.)
My biggest question is, did she keep anything at all? Was 36 items her whole order, or did she get like 60 items and keep half? Either way I felt a little better about my own shopping habits that day lol

Wow...just feels so absurd. The woman I saw returning *just* 17 items was apparently a light shopper! And, again, I feel sorry for the sales associates. At what point do they ask people routinely returning dozens of items to shop elsewhere?!

 

[pixiejenna]

Wanting to share my return story from yesterday. I'd ordered two items from Nordstrom that were not offered at my local store. Unfortunately, ordering was the only way to see in person, and on arrival I realized neither was a good match for me. So, off I went yesterday AM to return to my local store, while feeling a bit badly for having to return two items.

I queued up at the return area where there were two SAs at registers handling returns. I thought, "yay, I'm next in line", as each SA was helping a customer, so I thought for sure I'd be in and out quickly. Well, customer on the left had about 6-7 items, some apparently with tags that had been removed! This had her fishing around to match items with tags. Customer on the right had two big bags of items to return. Just as the SA worked through her pile on the counter, more items appeared from her bags. Some of her items also had tags removed, and the SA spent time reattaching the tags! Hmm...does someone check those items later for wear? A pair of high-heeled shoes she returned had visible, significant wear! Those went into a plastic bag, to be tossed? After waiting about 15 min. customer on the right was finally done (customer on the left was still being helped, she had less items, but each apparently was confusing to the SA in some way). The SA for customer on the right counted up the total number of her returns apparently to verify with her (17 items!!). They finished, and she told the SA (calling him by his first name) that she'd be back the next day with more items to return!

I was really kind of shocked by this whole scene. I'm not in the habit of hanging out in return lines, maybe all this is normal? It really had me wishing they'd be less liberal with their return policy, and had me feeling sorry for the SA having to handle all these (possibly and some visibly) worn items. I'd want to wear gloves! Of course, both SAs were polite and friendly, and the one that helped me apologized for keeping me waiting (which was completely out of his control). Whether purchased in store or online, after witnessing this, I'll be even more inclined now to check items I buy for damage or wear.

I feel like this is the norm for them. When I go in to return a online item the line is always long and people are returning 10+ items at a time. My favorites are a man trying to return a 7 year old Burberry watch because it was “always problematic” even had the receipt. They ended up getting a manager involved and it was literally the first time I have ever seen them deny a return. The manager told him if he had it for 7 years and it had problems he would have brought it back sooner. The guy was pissed that they refused his return.

I also recall one anniversary sales a woman in front of me attempted to return a bunch of sale jeans that were clearly stolen as they didn’t have a sale sticker they put on them and no receipt. It was 20 or 21 because face masks were required, I feel like it was 20 because her kid was not wearing a mask but should have been our state had strict mandates. Her child was running rampant and screaming the whole time the poor SA was trying to look up the items by phone number(they tried 4 different phone numbers) to find the non existent purchases. A lot of other people in line were uncomfortable with her kid running around them screaming without wearing a mask. It was the first day of the presale so if they were actually purchased they would have had to used a nordie card to be able to start the transaction. They didn’t refund her either, and they let her take the 6+ pairs of jeans with her. They told her if she finds the receipt she can return them.

 

[Luvbolide]

I know OT, but I hope you receive a thank you! I agree with your sentiments. The whole point, in my mind, is to thank someone for thinking of you. It doesn't matter what the kind gesture was, the value of the item, or if you actually even if you like it, it's just polite, thoughtful, and considerate to acknowledge the kindness. I just feels disrespectful to not say thank you. Plus, I hate the feeling I get sometimes of sending a gift into what seems a big black hole, never knowing if it's received.

This is one of my pet peeves, though I am a person who sends tons of cards to people and I know that I am one of the very few who do so.

As for thank you notes, I am even happy to receive a text with a pic!! (How standards have slipped!). I can usually tell from their faces that they like the gift, but when I send something and hear nothing I have no idea if it went astray. Drives me nuts! I am old, so way back in prehistoric times when I was a kid, my parents wouldn’t let us play with our Christmas gifts until we wrote our thank you notes. (Pretty strict, but I thank them for that now!)

 

[Luvbolide]

So frustrating about the second nephew! Is it really that hard to acknowledge an act of kindness, even if it’s an expected one?

I agree with your reply to my post that I would settle for an email, or text. Just something to say you received the gift.

DD is a teenager and I make sure she acknowledges every gift. One fun way has been to take a photo of her with the gift (even if it’s a check) and text a thank you. We live far from most of our family, so I feel this is a nice way for them to see how she’s growing, too. (Outside of tPF, I don’t do social!)

I love getting a pic with a text - fun to see the kids - who usually ham it up and then I don’t have to worry about a gift gone astray. Never thought I would admit that a text is okay!!

 

[etoile de mer]

This is one of my pet peeves, though I am a person who sends tons of cards to people and I know that I am one of the very few who do so.

As for thank you notes, I am even happy to receive a text with a pic!! (How standards have slipped!). I can usually tell from their faces that they like the gift, but when I send something and hear nothing I have no idea if it went astray. Drives me nuts! I am old, so way back in prehistoric times when I was a kid, my parents wouldn’t let us play with our Christmas gifts until we wrote our thank you notes. (Pretty strict, but I thank them for that now!)

I also send cards, and love when I get real mail! Aww, your parents were so smart to have you thinking of others at a young age. Before I could even read and write, my mother would sit down with me and we'd write my thank you cards together. She'd ask what I'd like to say, she'd write it, and then she'd have me trace over her letters as best I could (which resulted in a bit of a mess ). I have one stashed away in a box somewhere that my grandmother had saved.

Yes, like you, I'm happy now to hear from people by any means! My niece and nephew send us thank-you notes via text. I actually really like it as it always turns into a fun, little conversation, as well.

 

[Luvbolide]

I also send cards, and love when I get real mail! Aww, your parents were so smart to have you thinking of others at a young age. Before I could even read and write, my mother would sit down with me and we'd write my thank you cards together. She'd ask what I'd like to say, she'd write it, and then she'd have me trace over her letters as best I could (which resulted in a bit of a mess ). I have one stashed away in a box somewhere that my grandmother had saved.

Yes, like you, I'm happy now to hear from people by any means! My niece and nephew send us thank-you notes via text. I actually really like it as it always turns into a fun, little conversation, as well.

So cute that your mom got you started! I can remember getting some cards where there is incredibly cute, though not always so legible writing. I think I even saved a couple!