I would consider reporting this company to customs for trying to avoid the VAT, chances are you are not the first person that this company has tried to stick it to and you likely wouldn't be the last. Avoiding customs fees is a huge offense in Canada, I'm sure it's likely the same in the UK
skislope15 could be onto something here, Cathy! Since the business that you've been dealing with has been less than ethical in their dealings with you, you could tell them that if they're not going to follow through with collecting the item due to customs/duties avoidance, then you're going to have to report them to the relevant authorities.
Not sure how the UK customs system works, but certainly some countries these things very seriously, and the business in question could see all their future imports and exports flagged and thoroughly checked by their customs office.
This is a really tough situation to be in, Cathy. I'm a non-confrontational person by nature and generally let things slide, so I can also understand if you don't want to take such an aggressive stance. The ladies here have all given you terrific advice. Whatever you choose to do, I hope it all works out for you!

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