New Job and Losing Friends...

  1. Hi, everyone.

    I guess I'm writing this thread because I need support and maybe just want to see if anyone else has encountered this.

    Anyway, I am a teacher and worked in a very small private school for the past two years. I became close with another teacher and my two teaching assistants.

    Long story short, the school has been losing funding, so I've been worried about long-term job security, not to mention that I gave myself a $23,000 raise by leaving the private school and going to a large district (which gave me the opportunity to teach in the area I am trained in).

    I'm not from the city I'm currently living in, and so the people at the private school became my friends. However, ever since I got the job with the large district, they are upset with me, hardly text me back and one sent me an email (I think just to find out more about my new job, like a fact-finding mission) and when I replied, her response was quite ''cool.''

    I know on paper I did the right thing. More money, longer-term stability, teaching the subject matter that I LOVE and was trained for....but I'm feeling kind of sad and lost.:sad:

    Lesson learned, be sure to make friends outside of work----and I will start doing that now. The teacher I worked with has still remained friendly and we get together and do things, but I'm just really bummed how the other two have dropped me.

    Thanks for listening.
  2. Don't be hard on yourself for doing what is best for you. If they are not happy for you they were not your real friends. In these hard times be happy of what you accomplished, you got a new job with a raise!
  3. I'm sorry you're feeling sad about potentially losing friends, but I think that's a natural part of life. When you don't see eachother as often things tend to "soften" and "cool off".

    Congratulations on your new job and a BIG step in the right direction. Had I been in your position I would have chosen the same thing :smile:
  4. I've been in similar situation but at the other end. I've had people who i became great friends with leave for other jobs. Basicly after they left they rarely kept in contact with me even though we used to talk/text daily before. It really sucks to loose them as friends but after a while you'll get over it. You kind of realize that they maybe weren't as good as friends as you thought they were, because they wouldn't have so easily dropped out of your life if they were. In the end you have to do what's best for you and anyone in your life that can't accept what you need to do aren't worthy of being in your life. *hugs*
  5. it's part of the process, sometimes. =/ i was very very close with people at my last job, and after i left, they stopped talking to me. people who you hang out with a lot outside of work, (but who may be coworkers or work associated), will probably stay in contact with you. But if you're in the friendship stage with coworkers that is not quite "hang out outside of work" but still "extremely good friends" chances are, if you leave that job, you end up leaving them behind as in they don't keep in contact.
  6. Life is one long series of losing friends for whatever reason.
    You'll have a handful (if you are lucky) that will be there one's whole life but the majority leave.
    Doesn't make anyone a bad guy. They all have taught one something or enhanced ones life for awhile.
    People move, life situations change, it is what it is.

    One needs to take care of oneself, not stick around in a situation where one is stuck for a friendship. If they truly are a friend they will move along lifes path with you. If not wish them well & move on.
  7. Vegas Long Legs...well said iawtc.

    Sadly even when you are really good friends with your colleagues. Once you leave you tend not to keep in touch unless you see each other outside of work functions.

    Try and cultivate friends from outside of work. I feel that it would be much better for you. You spend so much time at work. Outside of work its nice to have a break. Not that you shouldn't see your colleagues outside of work.

    Just realise that once you leave the friendship tends to fizzle out. Its just life i guess and one of those things sadly.

    BTW i am sorry that your colleagues have not all reacted well to your good fortune. Good luck in your new job. So few of us get to do what we are really passionate about professionally.

    So congrats to you and your good fortune.
  8. I agree: make friends in all different places. I would encourage you to make friends outside of work, but don't get turned off to the idea of making friends at your new school. You might find some good ones there, too.

    I agree with Sternchen and Vegas. You just lose people as you move on to different places, jobs, phases in life, etc. Luckily, I have a close family, who is with me no matter where I go or what I do.
  9. Sorry the transition is rocky, but hopefully you meet people you like at your new job, and making friends outside of work does not guarantee that they'll be good friends either. All my friends in my current area are non-work friends, and I would be happy with a 1 in 3 success rate!