My friend and I got into an argument over my Xmas gift..pls help

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Paris_lily

Member
Oct 7, 2012
111
4
Somewhere pretty
Long story short..A little while ago I decided to get my SO instead of croc birkin, however over the holiday my DH surprised me with the croc birkin.

I took it out for the first time on New Years Eve party, my friend made a comment "As if Birkin is not loud enough..now you need to kill crocodiles for more attention".

I was hurt and replied "you wear leather and fur..aren't you killing animal." Her response to me "at lease it keeps me warm, your bag does nothing but to scream look at me more"

I was hurt, still am. I know she was rude and been drinking..but now I hate my croc..I feel like I lugging dead animal that got killed for no reason then for my pleasure for luxury. My DH thinks I'm being dramatic..maybe I am..but can't help but to think she has a point...why do I need exotic? I don't want to know how many died to make my bag. Please help..my Xmas gift is so expensive but I don't want it anymore..

Is wearing exotic morally wrong?
 
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caitvee

Member
Feb 25, 2012
522
178
California
She sounds insecure and jealous.

People kill animals to eat them everyday. Who cares. It's a beautiful bag and if she was really your friend shed say you look fabulous and not hurt your feelings.

I think your friend needs the advice, not you. Rock that bag and be fabulous. She can be negative elsewhere.
 
Aug 31, 2009
4,159
12
Long story short..A little while ago I decided to get my SO instead of croc birkin, however over the holiday my DH surprised me with the croc birkin.

I took it out for the first time on New Years Eve party, my friend made a comment "As if Birkin is not loud enough..now you need to kill crocodiles for more attention".

I was hurt and replied "you wear leather and fur..aren't you killing animal." Her response to me "at lease it keeps me warm, your bag does nothing but to scream look at me more"

I was hurt, still am. I know she was rude and been drinking..but now I hate my croc..I feel like I lugging dead animal that got killed for no reason then for my pleasure for luxury. My DH thinks I'm being dramatic..maybe I am..but can't help but to think she has a point...why do I need exotic? I don't want to know how many died to make my bag. Please help..my Xmas gift is so expensive but I don't want it anymore..
no one needs a birkin, no one needs an exotic birkin, it is all a matter of 'want'. and there is no shame in loving a completely unnecessary luxury item! i am very sorry your friend said these things, it really reflects more about her and her insecurities than it does about you. i can completely understand feeling hurt about it, and after something like this happens it does put a cloud over a bag. i do hope though that if you absolutely loved the crocodile B when your DH gave it to you, and it made you very happy, you will keep it. eventually her biting words will fade away.

i do think you should reassess what kind of friend she is though, as a good friend would be honest, but never with such hurtful words.
 

carlinha

O.G.
Jul 27, 2008
17,927
2,534
Long story short..A little while ago I decided to get my SO instead of croc birkin, however over the holiday my DH surprised me with the croc birkin.

I took it out for the first time on New Years Eve party, my friend made a comment "As if Birkin is not loud enough..now you need to kill crocodiles for more attention".

I was hurt and replied "you wear leather and fur..aren't you killing animal." Her response to me "at lease it keeps me warm, your bag does nothing but to scream look at me more"

I was hurt, still am. I know she was rude and been drinking..but now I hate my croc..I feel like I lugging dead animal that got killed for no reason then for my pleasure for luxury. My DH thinks I'm being dramatic..maybe I am..but can't help but to think she has a point...why do I need exotic? I don't want to know how many died to make my bag. Please help..my Xmas gift is so expensive but I don't want it anymore..
wow paris_lily i am shocked and appalled this is a person who is your "friend" :nogood::tdown::wtf:

i am so sorry you had to experience that... if you can just try to move on from her negative comments and remember how much you love your bag, and most of all, stop hanging out with this person because all she is going to do is bring you down.
 
May 13, 2009
10,919
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A place with fresh air
no one needs a birkin, no one needs an exotic birkin, it is all a matter of 'want'. and there is no shame in loving a completely unnecessary luxury item! i am very sorry your friend said these things, it really reflects more about her and her insecurities than it does about you. i can completely understand feeling hurt about it, and after something like this happens it does put a cloud over a bag. i do hope though that if you absolutely loved the crocodile B when your DH gave it to you, and it made you very happy, you will keep it. eventually her biting words will fade away.

i do think you should reassess what kind of friend she is though, as a good friend would be honest, but never with such hurtful words.
:yes::yes::yes: :goodpost::goodpost:
 

cherrycookies

Member
Nov 21, 2012
2,678
12
no one needs a birkin, no one needs an exotic birkin, it is all a matter of 'want'. and there is no shame in loving a completely unnecessary luxury item! i am very sorry your friend said these things, it really reflects more about her and her insecurities than it does about you. i can completely understand feeling hurt about it, and after something like this happens it does put a cloud over a bag. i do hope though that if you absolutely loved the crocodile B when your DH gave it to you, and it made you very happy, you will keep it. eventually her biting words will fade away.

i do think you should reassess what kind of friend she is though, as a good friend would be honest, but never with such hurtful words.
+ 1

she sounds jealous to me especially since she wears leather, real fur & eat meat!

i would ignore her and just enjoy my bag :biggrin:
 

stylemechanel

Member
Dec 29, 2012
2,156
9
I don't know either of you but my first thought was " is she jealous?". You know her best so maybe not, but if she is wearing fur it was an odd statement to make. In my opinion I would love to be in your shoes and you must know how incredibly lucky you are and how loved you are. Enjoy wearing it, enjoy feeling pretty when you use it, just enjoy it.
 

purseinsanity

I can't stoaaaaahp!!
O.G.
Apr 10, 2007
43,203
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In "H"andbag "H"eaven
I'm sorry you had to experience that. Some of our happiest experiences can bring out the cruelest reactions, especially from those who are supposed to care about us the most. :hugs:
People can justify things however they want, but it always makes me laugh when die hard PETA supporters carry Birkins and wear leather shoes (ahem, Pamela Anderson). Hypocrites are everywhere. Animals are used for food and many other reasons worldwide. Ultimately, you have to decide what you're comfortable doing for yourself. How would you feel if your drunken friend hadn't made that comment? If you'd be carrying it proudly because your DH gave it to you, then continue doing so with pride. Lose the friend and keep the bag!
 

Chestnutty

Moja Angelika
Oct 23, 2011
3,209
125
I was hurt and replied "you wear leather and fur..aren't you killing animal." Her response to me "at lease it keeps me warm, your bag does nothing but to scream look at me more"

I was hurt, still am. I know she was rude and been drinking..but now I hate my croc..I feel like I lugging dead animal that got killed for no reason then for my pleasure for luxury. My DH thinks I'm being dramatic..maybe I am..but can't help but to think she has a point...why do I need exotic? I don't want to know how many died to make my bag. Please help..my Xmas gift is so expensive but I don't want it anymore..
Honey, a tPF member (LuxuryinWichita) has a signature that I can't agree enough: "She said, "That's a lot of money to spend on a purse", and I knew we couldn't be friends."
I think your friend was purely jealous and ugly. Please do re-evaluate if she really is a true friend. Friends don't hurt friends to make themselves feel better. And I'm 100% sure since the time she saw your purse, she has been nagging her BF/husband for the exact same one every day.

You got a gift from your beloved husband who worked hard to buy you such gift, don't let the joy spoiled by that woman. Seriously, what leather bag is not made from the skin of a slaughtered animal?
There's nothing wrong with your purse, it's your so called "friend" you need to dissociate from before she hurts your feeling next time you get other luxury items.
I'm so sorry it happened to you. Feel better soon and enjoy your gift!
 
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GenieBottle26

"Odi et Amo"
Sep 18, 2011
1,711
14
The Beach!!
no one needs a birkin, no one needs an exotic birkin, it is all a matter of 'want'. and there is no shame in loving a completely unnecessary luxury item! i am very sorry your friend said these things, it really reflects more about her and her insecurities than it does about you. i can completely understand feeling hurt about it, and after something like this happens it does put a cloud over a bag. i do hope though that if you absolutely loved the crocodile B when your DH gave it to you, and it made you very happy, you will keep it. eventually her biting words will fade away.

i do think you should reassess what kind of friend she is though, as a good friend would be honest, but never with such hurtful words.
:rochard: Definitely agree with this.

Please tell your friend that ANY leather handbag, bracelets, etc are from an animal dying. These are the words of a friend that is GREEN with envy!
 
Feb 10, 2007
6,384
348
57
Long story short..A little while ago I decided to get my SO instead of croc birkin, however over the holiday my DH surprised me with the croc birkin.

I took it out for the first time on New Years Eve party, my friend made a comment "As if Birkin is not loud enough..now you need to kill crocodiles for more attention".

I was hurt and replied "you wear leather and fur..aren't you killing animal." Her response to me "at lease it keeps me warm, your bag does nothing but to scream look at me more"

I was hurt, still am. I know she was rude and been drinking..but now I hate my croc..I feel like I lugging dead animal that got killed for no reason then for my pleasure for luxury. My DH thinks I'm being dramatic..maybe I am..but can't help but to think she has a point...why do I need exotic? I don't want to know how many died to make my bag. Please help..my Xmas gift is so expensive but I don't want it anymore..
Honey, just like your avatar says, you live in a happy place. You know what, stay there. First, alcohol can bring out the worst in everyone. Maybe, you need to talk with your friend when you both have not been drinking. Or, maybe, you need to reflect upon this "friendship" and walk away. I too had a jealous friend, who fought over parking stalls. I knew she was a negative energy that I did not want in my life. It was hard, but I want people around me who love me and are happy for me and who are not mean and jealous. GIve me smart, balanced, level headed people. Not mean snits. Good luck honey. I hope you find the love you had for your bag and the generosity of your husband. Keep them. Lose the "friend".
 

crazyforhermess

QUOTE me as "CFH"
Jan 27, 2011
3,705
5
FSH-less
No point adding more salts to your wound, its already happened and you conscience makes you feel bad. Since this bag already bought, so be it but if buying an exotic bag makes you feel uneasy, then dont buy anymore next time. Put the whole thing behind you and move on, you cannot undo waht already done.
 

HPoirot

Member
Jan 26, 2012
188
5
Unless she's a hardcore activist, her comment is was born of nothing but pure jealousy. Should stop calling her a 'friend' from now on.

My gf and i were discussing how there were two types of people who would say, "Birkins(Hermes) bags are too expensive! People who pay that kind of prices for them are crazy!"

The first type are the practical ones, they buy whatever's the most cost effective and practical, but not necessarily the cheapest. They never buy designer goods. These are the type that seriously can't fathom spending anything more than necessary on an item. Clearly your 'friend' isn't from this category.

The second type are the jealous ones. They say Hermes are overpriced, but yet they pay thousands for mass produced stuff mostly for the status. They probably wanted Hermes stuff but are put off by their huge price tags and understated nature.
 

NestGirl

Member
Nov 1, 2012
528
72
H Heaven
Honey, just like your avatar says, you live in a happy place. You know what, stay there. First, alcohol can bring out the worst in everyone. Maybe, you need to talk with your friend when you both have not been drinking. Or, maybe, you need to reflect upon this "friendship" and walk away. I too had a jealous friend, who fought over parking stalls. I knew she was a negative energy that I did not want in my life. It was hard, but I want people around me who love me and are happy for me and who are not mean and jealous. GIve me smart, balanced, level headed people. Not mean snits. Good luck honey. I hope you find the love you had for your bag and the generosity of your husband. Keep them. Lose the "friend".
So well said. We all need to make choices in our lives to surround ourselves with positive and not negative voices.
 
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