Maintaining an H relationship

[papertiger]

Please focus on the title of this thread rather than each other, TY

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[SDC2003]

I go in every month, or sometimes every other month. I am a scarf lover, so tend to go in to get at least a carre or carre leads to something else. She never surprises me and gets upset if I bring up the subject, but if I don’t ask, then she never mentions. I thought she’d appreciate my loyalty but nowadays, I just feel like a bother that maybe its best that I change stores?

It may be your boutique is very competitive and she has a number of clients who not only spend more than you but high commission categories. What is your goal with shopping H? Is it to get bags and the other things are nice to haves? If that’s the case I’d say that after this bag you should switch stores or Sa’s but with the expectation that if you’re mainly shopping scarves and constantly asking for bags you could run into another balky sa. But you could luck out too with a more willing sa. If you like the bonus of bags as you shop then you will just need to be patient. Some boutiques appear to be even more competitive than during the pandemic and it probably doesn’t help that the brand has become more mainstream. I know you may be loathe to reward rude behavior but I can bet a change in that Sa’s demeanor and comments if you buy that coat or fj rather than wait. Alternatively you can express interest in these items and see what happens.

Edit: how often are you having the bag discussion? Her comment seems to indicate you bring it up frequently and give the appearance of chasing bags. As many have said here - H works in unexpected ways. If you love the brand just enjoy the shopping. The bag will come in due time. She has already given you four bags. That is already an indicator of trust. And you got these bags with relatively low to average spend. Constantly asking or reminding obviously annoys her. The h relationship is organic. Counting spend will only drive you mad. I have seen instances where spend was higher than expected for a bag but then surprisingly low for a second in the same year. For longtime clients who love the brand sure there is some idea of spend but these clients don’t go into this thinking about where they are on the prespend every time. it’s best not to focus on the prespend and not have expectations and simply enjoy the shopping. The bags are an extra treat like the whipped cream and cherry on an ice cream sundae.

 

[JLO1]

I hope you get the bag soon. I do not like her attitude/response. I would hate to spend money on high ticket items with her as well but we all have limited options as far as that goes. Hopefully she is working on getting the bag for you.

 

[Twinkle.84]

Hoping some of you can’t chime in on my next pathway forward. I am waiting on a kelly from my local boutique and have been shopping here since May of 2019. Since then, i got 2 birkins, 1 kelly and a constance. My pre-spend for those have been 1.5 to 2 ish on qbs and 1.2 on constance. Last time I received a quota bag was in 2023 May, and have not gotten a single offer since then. Since then, my pre-spend is at 30k and this time, my purchase has been more spread out than ever. Only area I didnt shop is mens rtw and equestrian stuff. However, it seems like my SA forgets about my existence and when I bring up a qb, she goes “i believe universe will work itself out. Right now, you want it too much and that’s not how universe works”. Whatever that means, it sounds like she wont give me a bag because when I asked for k28, she said that size doesn’t come in. So when I said I am open to 25, it’s crickets now. In my case, should I just give up and stop going into the store? I have couple of big ticket items I’d like to get such as coats and fine jewelry but don’t want to drop a significant amount until I get a Kelly.

Doesn't sound like a nice SA. I hope you get your bag soon though. But if you already have some big items on your list it might be worth changing SA's or change store? I don't have a competitive store and don't know how easy it would be? But don't let the SA decide on how you spend your money. Unfortunately there are some SA's who are willing to play their clients to get the most out of it because they know you'll spend.

 

[880]

It may be your boutique is very competitive and she has a number of clients who not only spend more than you but high commission categories. What is your goal with shopping H? Is it to get bags and the other things are nice to haves? If that’s the case I’d say that after this bag you should switch stores or Sa’s but with the expectation that if you’re mainly shopping scarves and constantly asking for bags you could run into another balky sa. But you could luck out too with a more willing sa. If you like the bonus of bags as you shop then you will just need to be patient. Some boutiques appear to be even more competitive than during the pandemic and it probably doesn’t help that the brand has become more mainstream. I know you may be loathe to reward rude behavior but I can bet a change in that Sa’s demeanor and comments if you buy that coat or fj rather than wait. Alternatively you can express interest in these items and see what happens.

Edit: how often are you having the bag discussion? Her comment seems to indicate you bring it up frequently and give the appearance of chasing bags. As many have said here - H works in unexpected ways. If you love the brand just enjoy the shopping. The bag will come in due time. She has already given you four bags. That is already an indicator of trust. And you got these bags with relatively low to average spend. Constantly asking or reminding obviously annoys her. The h relationship is organic. Counting spend will only drive you mad. I have seen instances where spend was higher than expected for a bag but then surprisingly low for a second in the same year. For longtime clients who love the brand sure there is some idea of spend but these clients don’t go into this thinking about where they are on the prespend every time. it’s best not to focus on the prespend and not have expectations and simply enjoy the shopping. The bags are an extra treat like the whipped cream and cherry on an ice cream sundae.

💯 She cannot offer what her SM doesn’t approve. I’d guess that her SM is currently focused on bags for her higher spend clients who did not get 4 bags on under 2X. If you want the coat or FJ, then buy them and wait. I don’t see the point in moving stores or SAs as I think 4 bags since 2019 with this profile is quite nice. JMO though

 

[Letter]

This is an instance where I wish the SA would just say “you got 4 bags with low pre spend and I have to give bags right now to clients who have spent more and haven’t gotten so many bags recently”. I strongly dislike the SA saying silly things when you ask about the bag you want. I think part of the problem is the expectation that flows from 4 bags at very low spend. If that costs bag hadn’t come until $30k it wouldn’t feel so strange now.

I think there are a lot of people who have spent a lot more than you and have zero to one bag. And I don’t mean to point this out to say you should just be happy, but I think Hermes is struggling to keep up with alllll the people who have “spent enough”. Again, doesn’t mean you should suck it up or be ok with the way the SA talks down to you.

For me switching SAs would have more to do with how much you like shopping with the current one. I would not be able to tolerate shopping with someone I didn’t vibe with. So for me that’s the primary concern.

 

[textilegirl]

💯 She cannot offer what her SM doesn’t approve. I’d guess that her SM is currently focused on bags for her higher spend clients who did not get 4 bags on under 2X. If you want the coat or FJ, then buy them and wait. I don’t see the point in moving stores or SAs as I think 4 bags since 2019 with this profile is quite nice. JMO though

I was just thinking about this and wanted to add that the effort to spread bags around to newer clients or those who’ve never received an offer might also be at play here.

@Letter and I are on the same page apparently although I suspect few SAs would feel comfortable being quite that direct.

 

[Letter]

@Letter and I are on the same page apparently although I suspect few SAs would feel comfortable being quite that direct.

They could leave out the spend part and just say “my manager wants me to prioritize people who haven’t gotten so many bags”. What’s odd to me is the silly quips seem way more awkward for someone to say. But I agree. Being direct is not the name of the game!!

 

[DoggieBags]

@JLO1 , some of us, probably a small minority, don’t really ask. We count on our SAs to keep an eye out for us if and when something they know we will like comes up. I don’t have a wishlist, and I have a hard time visualizing bags unless they are right in front of me. I know @haute okole slso doesn’t have a wish list and doesn’t ask. ETA: she gets many more limited edition offers (they suit her wonderfully).

Having said that, I started with a new SA post covid, and when he offered me a 30B etoupe that I accepted, he said that had he known, I could have gotten it sooner. But, I didn’t know I wanted/needed an etoupe b30, until it was right in front of me. I also shop at FSH, and I don’t really ask there either (except for my rainbow bolide which I asked for and didn’t expect to get). But, all my SAs know that I’m a neutral color, classic, usually phw person, who loves toile, and who doesn’t really spend a ton on bags (not likely to do exotics). It’s a longer process, but if you aren’t in a rush, it can be very enjoyable.

ETA : however, I am mainly a RTW person and I do have a number of bags already. If you don’t have a wishlist, you have to find another way to communicate what your style and your likes and dislikes are. My SAs know what I already own and what I like.

I’m going to start by saying I’ve been collecting bags for a very long time so it would be difficult for any SA to keep track and figure out what they think I might like that I don’t already have. It’s more efficient for me to just ask. I do it when I am in the store, not by text or email. If we have time during appointments we may discuss bags, what I’ve seen in pictures, etc., what she thinks may be coming in, etc. since she knows I love bags. Those conversations are more to get ideas, trends, I.e. are bigger bags finally making a comeback, are there new bag styles coming in, etc. rather than specific bag requests. I like bags in many different styles so the conversation is rarely about QBs. If I see a bag on display I like, I ask about availability. Answers can vary from a yes one is available for you, or no that’s display only and none are available for purchase at this time but we can put your name down in the queue with no guarantees, to that’s the only one and already spoken for. So yes, maybe (which mostly ends up being a no), and no lol. Or if I have a picture of a bag I am interested in, I’ll show it to her and ask what she thinks. If she’s seen the bag irl she will have an opinion on whether or not she thinks it will suit me and if she says not for you, I leave it at that and move on. My SA knows my philosophy - If not this bag then there will always be something else down the road I will like so there is no urgency or pressure to get THIS bag. I have noticed more of a tightening of bag offers in the past couple of years. Pre Covid was easier and more relaxed I think. But I don’t put pressure on my SA. Once I’ve made a request, if the answer is maybe, I don’t keep asking about it. If it happens great, if not, there will be other bags. I started off primarily as a leather client but have gradually over the years turned into mainly a RTW client. My SA and I have known each other for a number of years so it is easy to be very direct in our discussions which is what I prefer. Trying to read the tea leaves would drive me nuts.

 

[Melow]

It may be your boutique is very competitive and she has a number of clients who not only spend more than you but high commission categories. What is your goal with shopping H? Is it to get bags and the other things are nice to haves? If that’s the case I’d say that after this bag you should switch stores or Sa’s but with the expectation that if you’re mainly shopping scarves and constantly asking for bags you could run into another balky sa. But you could luck out too with a more willing sa. If you like the bonus of bags as you shop then you will just need to be patient. Some boutiques appear to be even more competitive than during the pandemic and it probably doesn’t help that the brand has become more mainstream. I know you may be loathe to reward rude behavior but I can bet a change in that Sa’s demeanor and comments if you buy that coat or fj rather than wait. Alternatively you can express interest in these items and see what happens.

Edit: how often are you having the bag discussion? Her comment seems to indicate you bring it up frequently and give the appearance of chasing bags. As many have said here - H works in unexpected ways. If you love the brand just enjoy the shopping. The bag will come in due time. She has already given you four bags. That is already an indicator of trust. And you got these bags with relatively low to average spend. Constantly asking or reminding obviously annoys her. The h relationship is organic. Counting spend will only drive you mad. I have seen instances where spend was higher than expected for a bag but then surprisingly low for a second in the same year. For longtime clients who love the brand sure there is some idea of spend but these clients don’t go into this thinking about where they are on the prespend every time. it’s best not to focus on the prespend and not have expectations and simply enjoy the shopping. The bags are an extra treat like the whipped cream and cherry on an ice cream sundae.

of course i do understand that it will annoy her if I asked frequently. I asked once for my anniversary and second on my birthday. I have bought kelly ring, chaine dancre ring in rose gold, cape cod watch with diamonds with couple other straps. Like you said they I am buying jewelry or a watch, she is extremely happy and nice. But on days that i am not dropping 5-10k she doesn’t seem that happy. I don’t think i will be shopping at any other brad as I adore all of their products. I did show interest in a coat, and few other FJ but It doesn’t seem like she cares…

 

[880]

They could leave out the spend part and just say “my manager wants me to prioritize people who haven’t gotten so many bags”. What’s odd to me is the silly quips seem way more awkward for someone to say. But I agree. Being direct is not the name of the game!!

I would venture a guess that store policy is to be somewhat opaque. But, my SA has told me directly that if a client has multiple bags and another one has none, all things being equal (I assume she meant profile), store policy is to equalize.
So, if someone things there is a magic number, or buying a coat or piece of jewelry will instantly produce results, I doubt it. The point was also that it’s not just spend, spend, and get a bag. (Of course, it depends on which coat and HJ lol).

ETA: i don’t shop anywhere, or with anyone, where I feel pressured, or a quid pro quo. That includes Hermes.
But, I don’t expect bags on special occasions. If an offer comes around that time, it’s nice, but everyone
has a birthday or anniversary . At my store, unfortunately, 5-10K USD is not uncommon, so I do think, spend
becomes a relatively elastic measure that trends upward.

 

[Letter]

of course i do understand that it will annoy her if I asked frequently. I asked once for my anniversary and second on my birthday. I have bought kelly ring, chaine dancre ring in rose gold, cape cod watch with diamonds with couple other straps. Like you said they I am buying jewelry or a watch, she is extremely happy and nice. But on days that i am not dropping 5-10k she doesn’t seem that happy. I don’t think i will be shopping at any other brad as I adore all of their products. I did show interest in a coat, and few other FJ but It doesn’t seem like she cares…

Are you in the US or someplace else?

This would make me uncomfortable. Sometimes I don’t buy whatever the thing is and that needs to be ok with my SA. I don’t like feeling pressured.

 

[OnlyModa]

Would a frank conversation be appropriate? Saying that you were thinking about other expensive pieces but would like to get a bag first both from the budget prospective but also from coordinating your wardrobe.

I would also pause spending for the moment. I know you risk this SA forgetting about you altogether, but it sounds like she doesn’t really remember you now.

You can check in with her again in a few months. She might realize that she needs to come up with a bag for you to resume shopping.

I would then pick up shopping ant another store after you get this bag so your current pretend is not wasted but you do not keep spending with no hope for a bag either.

I’ve said it so many times. Journey or not, this is a luxury shopping experience and it needs to bring joy

 

[SDC2003]

of course i do understand that it will annoy her if I asked frequently. I asked once for my anniversary and second on my birthday. I have bought kelly ring, chaine dancre ring in rose gold, cape cod watch with diamonds with couple other straps. Like you said they I am buying jewelry or a watch, she is extremely happy and nice. But on days that i am not dropping 5-10k she doesn’t seem that happy. I don’t think i will be shopping at any other brad as I adore all of their products. I did show interest in a coat, and few other FJ but It doesn’t seem like she cares…

this does not sound like a pleasant shopping experience. An sa should treat you the same regardless of what you buy. On the one hand you have gotten bags but on the other hand assuming you’ve been pleasant in inquiries her behavior and comment are rude and not acceptable when shopping with a high end brand. Suggest being patient. Shop as you normally would and hope for the best. When you get that bag I would consider leaving unless she does a 180.

 

[addiCCted]

But on days that i am not dropping 5-10k she doesn’t seem that happy

If it were me, I would wait till I get the bag and then switch stores. This would bother me.

 

[Kimchoi12]

of course i do understand that it will annoy her if I asked frequently. I asked once for my anniversary and second on my birthday. I have bought kelly ring, chaine dancre ring in rose gold, cape cod watch with diamonds with couple other straps. Like you said they I am buying jewelry or a watch, she is extremely happy and nice. But on days that i am not dropping 5-10k she doesn’t seem that happy. I don’t think i will be shopping at any other brad as I adore all of their products. I did show interest in a coat, and few other FJ but It doesn’t seem like she cares…

That's so odd that you were able to get multiple bags with her in the past but it seems all of a sudden that changed in 2023.

Like others have mentioned, I would find another SA at the store or cut my losses and shop at a different store. There are so many other lovely SAs that I can't imagine working with someone who is only happy when I'm dropping $$$. I don't need that kind of stress and attitude when I'm shopping. Where's the fun in that?

“i believe universe will work itself out. Right now, you want it too much and that’s not how universe works”.

LOL. What the..?