Maintaining an H relationship

[papertiger]

Please focus on the title of this thread rather than each other, TY

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[leechiyong]

Welp.
So I think I spoke too soon regarding my positive SA dynamic.
Was wondering if anyone could provide some insight into this specific situation pls!!
I reached out to my SA earlier last week (last Monday I think) about wanting to purchase a pair of silver fine jewelry earrings I saw online.
My SA previously told me if I see something I like online and it’s not in store they could order it to the boutique for me.
In the email I anskes about the availability of the earrings in store as I wanted to purchase them through him in boutique. My SA usually replies the next day but after 4 or so days of no response they still didn’t reach out. So I sent another email this past weekend following up on my request and still haven’t heard back from them.
From the radio silence on their end do I assume that they don’t have the earrings in store and should just order them myself online? Obviously I would prefer to purchase through them and don’t want to run into a situation where I order them online and then they reach out saying they have the earrings for me in store.
Have I perhaps done something wrong or they aren’t responding as I was given a time estimate this year for my wishlist bag around December and they may be waiting to get back to me when my bag arrives? (I know it’s super early rn tho but just trying to think of possibilities)
I’m not going to reach out again to follow up, just trying to understand my specific situation as this is the first time they haven’t gotten back to me. Wondering how I can reach out to them again without being super annoying. All my experiences with my SA have been super positive so this is new to me.

Thank you!!

I'm confused on what you sent your SA vs. what you'd like them to do. If you messaged asking only if they have the earrings at the boutique and they don't, you probably won't get a response unless they do come into the store. Checking the availability in the boutique comes off a bit vague, like you want to look at the earrings, but aren't committed to them. Further actions, like checking other stores requires a bit more directness in your request ("could you please help me order this" as opposed to "do you have this") or them ordering for you online, which I believe requires you to be in store.

 

[Dreaming of H]

I understand that as a general rule.
My SA informed me if there’s anything I’m looking for to email them before hand as they don’t do texts rn.
So far in my relationship I send an email with a heads up of what I’m looking for before an appointment.
I’ve been shopping with them for a couple months now and the heads up through email has how it’s always been for me.

Seems like a lot of asynchronous communication happening. Do you want them to be ordered for you? If so, call the store, ask for your SA (maybe they are on vacation or didn't see your message), and ask your SA if they could order them for you, or if you need to come into the store so they can order for you from online. Done and done. Asynchronous communication can only do so much; your messages might very well be completely buried at this point based on how inundated SAs are with emails and text messages these days and the little amount of time they get to process and reply to them.

 

[xoxocrybbusagi]

I'm confused on what you sent your SA vs. what you'd like them to do. If you messaged asking only if they have the earrings at the boutique and they don't, you probably won't get a response unless they do come into the store. Checking the availability in the boutique comes off a bit vague, like you want to look at the earrings, but aren't committed to them. Further actions, like checking other stores requires a bit more directness in your request ("could you please help me order this" as opposed to "do you have this") or them ordering for you online, which I believe requires you to be in store.

Yes I realize I was vague in my intial post. I asked if the earrings were available in store because I wanted to buy them and if not if they could order them online for me and to set up a time for me to come in if they weren’t readily available so we could order them through the site.

 

[880]

reached out to my SA earlier last week (last Monday I think) about wanting to purchase a pair of silver fine jewelry earrings I saw online.
My SA previously told me if I see something I like online and it’s not in store they could order it to the boutique for me.
In the email I asked about the availability of the earrings in store as I wanted to purchase them through him in boutique.

I asked if the earrings were available in store because I wanted to buy them and if not if they could order them online for me and to set up a time for me to come in if they weren’t readily available so we could order them through the site.

I assumed from both posts that OP was committed to purchase. But, at any rate, a relationship won’t make or break over a pair of silver earrings. I personally tend to group purchases together, so I might not come in for this one item either. But, my SA would probably find other things for me to look at or just send me a payment link.

 

[tinkerbell68]

I would consider using your SA for future business, and you could even ask her if you see stuff on line, would she like to order for you?


ETA: if I see something on line, I text him and ask if he would like to get it for me or if he is too busy, should I order it myself. He’s never told me to order, but he also knows I really dislike the website.

THIS^^^

Whenever I see something I like online, I take a screenshot and text my SA…usually she orders the item(s) for me though occasionally she’ll suggest that I go ahead and order it…if there are only a few left or it’s Petit H.
She has also told me to take advantage of anything I am offered or find in Paris…in fact, she specifically told me that if I was offered a B25 during one visit that I should accept it as I was unlikely to be able to get one in the US.
As I’ve said before, it’s always best to be open and honest and authentic…ask their preference just as you’d hope they ask yours.

 

[bagsNshoesNjewels]

My SA also told me to screen shot anything I find on the website with the product reference information so she can either order it for me or let me know if it's coming to the store and then be reserved for me. This has worked great on shoes (namely Orans) and some jewelry. I also keep a series of these photos for in person shopping for things that I know will be more readily available (belts, scarves) so that I can enjoy the in person experience with her coming in with a "list".

 

[blinggirl74]

Just some thoughts here. I feel the Hermes journey is definitely not for the faint of heart. It is long, filled with hills and bumps along the way. There will be times you are elated, and times where you are emotionally and financially drained. The more seasoned you are, the harder the ride becomes, but you also are more wiser. You come to accept the nature of the journey and you know when it’s the right time to get off because it’s just not worth it anymore.

 

[shopinlovet]

Just some thoughts here. I feel the Hermes journey is definitely not for the faint of heart. It is long, filled with hills and bumps along the way. There will be times you are elated, and times where you are emotionally and financially drained. The more seasoned you are, the harder the ride becomes, but you also are more wiser. You come to accept the nature of the journey and you know when it’s the right time to get off because it’s just not worth it anymore.

I compare it to a relationship with a boy who doesn’t know what he wants lolll. Do they like me? How much more should I put in before I give up on this relationship? Then you get a text or phone call from them and it makes you happy. Then silence and you don’t know what to do. You question every move you make lolll

 

[WhiteBus]

I compare it to a relationship with a boy who doesn’t know what he wants lolll. Do they like me? How much more should I put in before I give up on this relationship? Then you get a text or phone call from them and it makes you happy. Then silence and you don’t know what to do. You question every move you make lolll

It's even worse with a girl.

 

[Midge Maisel]

Just some thoughts here. I feel the Hermes journey is definitely not for the faint of heart. It is long, filled with hills and bumps along the way. There will be times you are elated, and times where you are emotionally and financially drained. The more seasoned you are, the harder the ride becomes, but you also are more wiser. You come to accept the nature of the journey and you know when it’s the right time to get off because it’s just not worth it anymore.

I don't really disagree with your point, but I hope that anyone who's feeling emotionally drained by the experience recognizes that, at the heart of it, this is all about shopping. I know it can be discouraging to not get what you want, or to have to wait a long time, or any number of other things, but if you're genuinely enjoying building a collection of H items, enjoy the process for what it is!

I haven't been at it that long, and I haven't gotten a QB yet. But there's a lot of fun to be had in exploring and experiencing a high-quality brand with a range of items that can suit a variety of styles and tastes.

 

[momoc]

It’s really hard (and apology in advance if this is coming off condescending I don’t know how else to better word it) but try to remind yourself that the very stressful problem you are having is literally: trying to spend (tens of) thousands of dollars on a handbag. That is a very, very, very first-world problem to have and there are so many people who can only dream of being in that situation with how they are living right now. If that is the biggest problem one has in their life, then they are having a very good life.

I’m not saying that’s a wrong thing to do, we are on a purse forum full of H lovers (which I am a happy member of). But I think it helps to put things in a broader perspective, to hopefully relax at bit by realizing that this issue that’s causing so much anxiety and stress is absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. I truly believe that the more relaxed you are, the more fun you will have in your H “relationship”, and the more your SA will enjoy working with you because you will be pleasant to work with (even if you aren’t dropping VIP level money). If you are stressing over way too much it’s easy to fall into a vicious cycle. (ETA: and in the off-chance that you happen upon a bad SA, someone who wants to string clients along to get them to spend spend spend, desperation will only make you an obvious target). I guess that’s one more thing this has in common with a dating relationship huh? I think desperation doesn’t look good or work great in that aspect either

 

[Mrs.Hermess]

It’s really hard (and apology in advance if this is coming off condescending I don’t know how else to better word it) but try to remind yourself that the very stressful problem you are having is literally: trying to spend (tens of) thousands of dollars on a handbag. That is a very, very, very first-world problem to have and there are so many people who can only dream of being in that situation with how they are living right now. If that is the biggest problem one has in their life, then they are having a very good life.

I’m not saying that’s a wrong thing to do, we are on a purse forum full of H lovers (which I am a happy member of). But I think it helps to put things in a broader perspective, to hopefully relax at bit by realizing that this issue that’s causing so much anxiety and stress is absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. I truly believe that the more relaxed you are, the more fun you will have in your H “relationship”, and the more your SA will enjoy working with you because you will be pleasant to work with (even if you aren’t dropping VIP level money). If you are stressing over way too much it’s easy to fall into a vicious cycle. (ETA: and in the off-chance that you happen upon a bad SA, someone who wants to string clients along to get them to spend spend spend, desperation will only make you an obvious target). I guess that’s one more thing this has in common with a dating relationship huh? I think desperation doesn’t look good or work great in that aspect either

It’s a client-sa relationship. The more I spend the more my SA likes me.

 

[WhiteBus]

It’s really hard (and apology in advance if this is coming off condescending I don’t know how else to better word it) but try to remind yourself that the very stressful problem you are having is literally: trying to spend (tens of) thousands of dollars on a handbag. That is a very, very, very first-world problem to have and there are so many people who can only dream of being in that situation with how they are living right now. If that is the biggest problem one has in their life, then they are having a very good life.

I’m not saying that’s a wrong thing to do, we are on a purse forum full of H lovers (which I am a happy member of). But I think it helps to put things in a broader perspective, to hopefully relax at bit by realizing that this issue that’s causing so much anxiety and stress is absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. I truly believe that the more relaxed you are, the more fun you will have in your H “relationship”, and the more your SA will enjoy working with you because you will be pleasant to work with (even if you aren’t dropping VIP level money). If you are stressing over way too much it’s easy to fall into a vicious cycle. (ETA: and in the off-chance that you happen upon a bad SA, someone who wants to string clients along to get them to spend spend spend, desperation will only make you an obvious target). I guess that’s one more thing this has in common with a dating relationship huh? I think desperation doesn’t look good or work great in that aspect either

Say it loud; say it loud; say it loud!

unfortunately, although I make contributions, I think this thread perniciously contributes to all the wrong expectations
for all the benefits, that is the curse of social media as well

 

[horselove]

I compare it to a relationship with a boy who doesn’t know what he wants lolll. Do they like me? How much more should I put in before I give up on this relationship? Then you get a text or phone call from them and it makes you happy. Then silence and you don’t know what to do. You question every move you make lolll

It really is like dating. And just like dating, you can get a lot of advice but nothing beats the experience of infatuation, the fast beating of the heart, the suspense, the mystery. After you become fairly seasoned, you may look at those inexperienced with slight disdain at their naivete. Nothing beats the firsthand experience though. It may end in failure and frustration but it is worth a shot. Your wallet may protests but that is another matter. And what is dating without some drama

 

[squidneyau]

This thread has me both hopeful and stressed haha.

My SA at least replied to my text asking to come in about shoes! However, she did not reply to a specific appointment time, just mentioned her day off during the week. The text felt distant; I am worried I may have to switch SAs if this next appointment/visit does not go well. Sigh.