Hi everyone I am new here and wanted to get opinions. I'm 25 I have been dating a guy for the last 4 years. He is a really great guy. He works at a decent enough job. He buys me bags every once in a while out of the blue. He really supports my bag habit. Anyhoo, my problem with him is that he still lives with his mom and he is in his early 30s. I have my own place by the way. I travel a lot and I don't really want to live with him at this time. Do you think he will ever get over his mommy complex? Has anyone here ever went through this before. I really do love him, but is it time to find a man instead of a boy that won't cut the apron strings? Last week, I saw the movie "Failure to Launch" and it really got me thinking. Any advice would be appreciated.
Living with mom
- Thread starter ForDaLoveOvGawd
- Start date
Wow, that could be a problem. My son (now 24) has been living on his own since he went away to college. He is now talking grad school and I suggested he think about moving back home to save money. We have plenty of room -- in fact his old room (since refurbished) sits empty waiting for his occasional visits. His reaction? I love you mom, but no way. Maybe your guy has maturity problems? Have you noticed any other signs?
Thanks for the responses. He doesn't have to live at home I guess. I think he has a really hard problem leaving his family. You know how they say opposites attract? Well, I have lived on my own since I was 15. I was in foster care and just decided to run away. I have always taken care of myself and I even put myself through school. I think I'm to young to be tied down anyway. I don't understand people living at home when they are over 21 years old. I would feel like a piece of crap if I mooched off my relatives well into my 30s. Maybe I will just tell him I want to take a break. Sigh.
ForDaLoveOvGawd said:
OK, seriously, he can visit his family, normal people do not live at home when they are 30 unless:
1. The parent is ill and needs care
2. He had some horrible financial crisis and had to move home for a month or two (does not apply here)
RUN!!!!!
I think there are valid reasons to live at home: financially unable to support an apartment, saving for a down payment, taking care of a parent who needs the extra help. But if they're doing it just because they're too lazy to do their own laundry and make their own meals and they're almost 30! There are issues!
hates it: mama's boys
i see why you're annoyed.. i'd def. take a 'break' and try to find urself a real MAN!
then again.. he prolly wouldnt be financially able to buy you anymore bags if he was pulling rent, i bet!
i see why you're annoyed.. i'd def. take a 'break' and try to find urself a real MAN!
then again.. he prolly wouldnt be financially able to buy you anymore bags if he was pulling rent, i bet!
I would suggest that before you take the break, talk to him honestly so he knows ur worries.. maybe ull be able to know what his issues are and then leave him knowing that there's no hope.. but if u just take a break i dont think it will help you moving on.. being with the same guy for 4yrs is too long for sudden break. goodluck, keep us posted!
Unless a guy is taking care of sick/elderly parents, RUN!!!!!!!!
What kind of guy is not financially stable by the time he's in his 30's? It's not like he's 23 years old and just out of college looking for a job. By the time you're in your 30's, you should be somewhat settled. Would you want to inherit his potentially bad credit? Do you want a man who can't hold down a steady job? Would you want him sponging off you?
The other option is that he's just immature, which still, is not a good thing for a man in his 30's. Again, it's not like he's a 22 year old trying new things, just getting out into the world. If he likes the fact that Mommy is taking care of him and he doesn't have any responsibilities, he'll expect that of you. If he ever does decide to leave, he'll probably expect you to do the same things Mommy does for you. Be ready to live with a slob. He'll expect you to pick up his laundry and pick up after him.
Plus, another red flag is that you two have been together for 4 years and still just dating? Could he be a Mama's boy who can't make a commitment? Will his mother ever accept another woman into her son's life?
Good luck. I think you'll need it.
What kind of guy is not financially stable by the time he's in his 30's? It's not like he's 23 years old and just out of college looking for a job. By the time you're in your 30's, you should be somewhat settled. Would you want to inherit his potentially bad credit? Do you want a man who can't hold down a steady job? Would you want him sponging off you?
The other option is that he's just immature, which still, is not a good thing for a man in his 30's. Again, it's not like he's a 22 year old trying new things, just getting out into the world. If he likes the fact that Mommy is taking care of him and he doesn't have any responsibilities, he'll expect that of you. If he ever does decide to leave, he'll probably expect you to do the same things Mommy does for you. Be ready to live with a slob. He'll expect you to pick up his laundry and pick up after him.
Plus, another red flag is that you two have been together for 4 years and still just dating? Could he be a Mama's boy who can't make a commitment? Will his mother ever accept another woman into her son's life?
Good luck. I think you'll need it.
pinkish_love said:I would suggest that before you take the break, talk to him honestly so he knows ur worries.. maybe ull be able to know what his issues are and then leave him knowing that there's no hope.. but if u just take a break i dont think it will help you moving on.. being with the same guy for 4yrs is too long for sudden break. goodluck, keep us posted!
I agree, although it's not a good sign....
ForDaLoveOvGawd said:
I feel the same way - I've been on my own since I was sixteen. I can't understand why a guy would be living with his parents in his thirties, but maybe there is some reason for it. In the 4 years you've been together, have you asked him about it?