My desire for a matte Jaylin (brown first, then black) has actually made me crabby (or is it crazy

). I start and end every day with an extensive web search.
I seriously cannot believe how obsessed I am with finding this non-existent bag. Did they only make 5 of them?! How is it possible that no one ever sells theirs (not that I would if I had it, so I actually do understand that). I have scrolled through the "authenticate" forum and I think I saw one that came up in more than the last 12 months. OMG!
I see a smattering of cute bags (among the thousands that I view), but every time I go back to pics of the brown Jaylin, it changes my view of whatever bag I was considering instead. (ummm, maybe I should just stop looking at the old Jaylin pictures, eh?).
I have already warned my husband that regardless of budget/finances, if this bag ever shows up for sale, all bets are off and that baby is mine!