How Would You Remind A Friend They Owe You Money ?

Prada's Meadow

Prada's Meadow

Member
Jan 23, 2006
15,831
24
#1
Do you lend Money to your Friends ?
Or prehaps just Family ?
How do you ask for it back ?
What would the circumstances have to be for you to say yes or no ?
Or not ask for it back at all ?

For me, if it is my Family, I just dont ask for it back, A good girlfriend asked me once, I told her yes, I could lend her the money, but I needed it back by a certain date, I ended up sending her an email and note in the mail reminding her of the loan.
 
#2
You never loan someone you care about money.

At least don't consider it a loan, if they pay it back, great!
I've seen TOO many friendships end over this very thing.
 
#3
Never loan someone close to you a substantial amount of money unless you're prepared to consider it a gift. If they pay you back for it then it's very nice, but don't do it unless that can't happen.

For small things, us college kids are pretty blunt about it. lol. We usually all cover each other though. Like, a lot of times my friends will pick up the stuff we drink, and the next time we go out I'll pay for that girls club cover and buy her a few drinks or whatever- it all evens out. :smile: We'll just be like "hey, I paid for your stuff last week-- can you cover it this time."


oh, and I don't ever think twice about little things under $5. At the gym, and someone needs a water- of course I'll spot you! lol, it sounds silly, but I bet some people asked for that $1 back!
 
#4
If it's a family member that's asking for a loan, I'll lend them the $ (if it's within my financial capacity) and always assume it as a GIFT from me to them.

If it's a friend, it depends if it's an emergency or not. I'm usually pretty bad with keeping track of my mini loans to friends so alot of times I'll forget about it until the friend repays me. :lol: I'm just hoping my friends won't take advantage of that. But I try not to mix friendship with loans if I can prevent it. Other times, just like Dani said, we usually cover each other by "I'm treating you this time and you treating me the next time."
 
#5
OMG this is one of my biggest pet peevs!!! Soo glad you posted this. I am a very giving person and choose to lend people money/things all the time. What i do expect in return is that they REMEMBER first what they owe me, and get it back to me. I never have an issue with time constraints, but don't just forget- even if it is only $20. I hate to have to bring it back up and remind them.

Usually I am too big a baby to bring it up directly for fear of awkward conversation (I know I know... I'm working on this!!) so I just try to bring up the subject coyly then say "Oh yea, did you ever get back to me for _____"

Such a baby way around it, but it is the best I can do!
 
#7
I wouldn't mind loaning money to a close friend if she was really in a bind.

I have such a sad story about my dad. He loaned a thousand measly bucks to one of his best, best friends he's known since college. The friend never found a way to pay him back, which is fine because my dad was thinking of it as a gift anyway (as SwankyMama said) but of course the friend feels embarressed and now doesn't want to see my dad because it reminds him of the money... losing a friend of 30 years to a stupid thousand dollars? Now that sucks.
 
#8
IntlSet said:
I wouldn't mind loaning money to a close friend if she was really in a bind.

I have such a sad story about my dad. He loaned a thousand measly bucks to one of his best, best friends he's known since college. The friend never found a way to pay him back, which is fine because my dad was thinking of it as a gift anyway (as SwankyMama said) but of course the friend feels embarressed and now doesn't want to see my dad because it reminds him of the money... losing a friend of 30 years to a stupid thousand dollars? Now that sucks.
Click to expand...

The same thing (well, very similar) happened between my dad and my aunt. They had decided to split the bill for their father's funeral, except my dad was short on funds at the time; my aunt ended up paying for the whole thing. Long story short, my dad did not pay my aunt back (and hasn't yet!), which caused a rift between our families for over seven years, and I missed out on some of the most important years of my cousins' lives.

Thankfully my cousins and I are closer than ever, but I can't say the same for my dad and aunt. It's become a point of contention now, the metaphorical "elephant in the middle of the room" that everybody sees but nobody talks about. It tears people apart. :sad:

Money. :Push:
 
#9
I think the best answer sometimes is just to say no. I only give what I feel I can and feel ok knowing there's a chance I might not get it back. I think, though, if the person is really having a problem you should accept it and let it go. It just makes things easier sometimes.
 
#10
I agree that you have to be prepared to view the money as a gift, rather than a loan -- when it comes to close friends or family.

I don't at all mind loaning money to friends/family who need it.
 
#12
clanalois said:
Just. Say. No.

Unless you draw up a legal document. :amazed:
Click to expand...

lol

My mom always manipulates me into giving her money. Can't help it :/ Shes mama! But then when it comes time for payback I'm very blunt (however, it doesn't help lol) --

Me: Am I getting that $### back anytime soon?
Mom: Your dad gets paid next week. Then ok baby?
[Couple weeks pass. Repeat #### times.]

:[

If I ever give into my friends, it's a little harder to be blunt so sometimes I pull this -- when we go out, I tell them if they get such&such for me they wont owe me the such&such they borrowed a while back. Or something to that effect :P
 
#13
send a couple of thugs with baseball bats to her door.


but seriously..
I never ask my family to pay money back to me. It is always a gift to family. If a friend asks to borrow money - I never mention it again unless it's in the thousands and that hasn't happened yet. how would I remind him/her? thats a tough one because I can't think of one friend I have who would flake on me. thats why they're my friends.
 
#14
I feel comfortable loaning money only to 2 friends. I know they will both pay me back. One would probably never ask but the option is there in case the need arises. The other has borrowed twice and paid it both times in a few months.
 
#15
If I give money to family...it's not a loan. I really haven't ever loaned friends money...I've given friends a few bucks here and there or picked up a lunch tab...nothing I'd expect to be repaid for. Besides, most of my friends have about the same as me!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top
Back