How to look classy & put together with subtlety?

[resplendent]

#1 to my eyes is overall health and grooming. So nice skin, well-cut or styled hair, and clean groomed nails...and overall looking healthy (fit, well-rested.)

I'm kind of down on myself right now because my face is having a flare-up of atopic dermatitis (eczema), and I feel like nothing I wear makes much of a difference as when my skin is behaving well and glowy.

Sorry about your hair, you probably feel the way I do with regards to my skin.

#2, related to #1 especially for us 30+ gals...is light makeup and having the skill to apply it well...or a bare face with perfectly done brows. I find it remarkable how light, skillfully applied makeup lifts years off of someone's face compared to when they go too heavy or have unintended streaks or smears.

#3 is dressing appropriately for the occasion/weather, then looking comfortable in it.

#4 the shoes should not look too worn/old/dirty.

 

[periogirl28]

Dear OP
I think you must be doing a lot right if people say you are always elegant. Why do you not think you look “classy”? I am also rethinking my wardrobe and make up/ hair as I grow older but I find not that much needs to change. Just minor adjustments but I am happy with my style, hair and look overall. Be comfortable, wear neat, well- fitting clothes (can’t stress this part enough) and generally well groomed. I hardly wear makeup but I make sure my hair is neat, nails are clean and my face is at least not shiny. I am lucky I have dark brows and lashes and my lips naturally have colour so that helps. I think wearing neat sneakers and great sandals can be casual and yet smart. I am beginning to find complete neutral outfits boring for me. Have fun. It keeps you young.

 

[Mairaculi]

I thought a bit more about this thread. And since you asked about the small things that make you look put together, here are a few more things which the well put together ladies in my life have in common:
- good posture
- pleasant voice, intonation, rate of speaking
- proper grooming, probably the most important thing (hair, skincare, hands, teeth) - since you mentioned your hair: A collegue of mine started loosing a lot of hair in her mind 30s, she has super thin & not much hair now but she has it cut to a short length that complements her face, has it regularly trimmed and colored, always styled. She's one of the most elegant women I know. We are all given different starting points or challenges in life, but it will show when we take care of ourself. My mum never wears makeup or jewelry and rather simple clothes, but she is always so extremely well groomed and makes sure her clothes are in good condition and fit. You could put her in any society and she wouldn't really look out of place.
- good quality leather shoes with small heel, polished
- no big logos or anything “statement“
- high quality materials / natural fibers: yes wrinkles are not a good look, but I still think a slightely wrinkled quality linen item looks better than a wrinkle-free 100% polyester super shiny and super stretchy fabric.
- high quality but slightely understated jewelry: I don't know if it's just me, but I don't think super expensive jewelry necessarily makes someone look classy, it can quickly look out of place. Even if I had all the money in the world I wouldn't wear huge diamond jewelry on a daily basis to go grocery shopping and such. A sophisticated looking person doesn't shove the price of each individual item into other people's faces, especially when they go to places where people from many different socioeconomic backgrounds meet. There's a time and place for everything.
- Know how to use your perfume. I think having a signature scent is a good thing, but it shouldn't be so much that other people are bothered by it.
- I really think accessories can make an outfit, especially a nice watch, belt & scarf can make an outfit. I often go for a classy look in winter time, I have a much more relaxed summer wardrobe, I don't really know why: A belted wool wrap coat, scarf, knee-high boots and elegant gloves. Is there anything more ladylike?

 

[doni]

In my view, what you wear around your neck is what makes most of an impression in terms of looking classy and put together. People give too much credit to shoes in my opinion. A beautiful blazer in a luxurious fabric (doesn’t have to be a neutral color) with basic jeans and StanSmiths looks classier than a polyester mix Zara jacket with Manolos. A good coat, a great scarf, beautiful earrings... those are the things to invest on.

I also agree on clothes being well fitted, taken care of and ironed. Would seem obvious, but with people caring less and less about ironing, it makes more of a difference.

I do not belong to the school that believes luxury accessories and expensive handbags elevate a cheap outfit. There are cheap outfits that may look classy and put together (mainly depending on who wears them). But if they don’t, no bag is going to make them better no matter how high the price.

 

[MiaKing]

Very interesting topic. A few years ago I changed my wardrobe completely, because I had so many clothes and literally nothing to wear. Back then I loved buying at TJ maxx so quality is was mostly not there (exceptions of course) then I decided to build my capsule wardrobe, depending on person, for me around 40 clothing pieces plus shoes and bags. I started buying quality items, a few designer accessories and I was so much happies of how I looked like plus my closet is almost empty compared to my husband's (he is not interested in capsule lol but at least I made him donate clothes he was not wearing anymore) for me that made a big difference, even on the day when I just run some errands I feel more put together. I love black but started appreciate navy and even brown sometimes but still stick to old goodie black. For me it's also your posture, how you're walking, keeping head up and smiling. Once I asked my husband what he thinks about one lady at the restaurant, she had something in her, he said, she looks great because she is smiling I think especially right now we kind of forgot about it, how important it is to smile. Other than that I would say good looking nails, good, not too worn shoes and I feel like accessories can do wonders and can elevate your style. For me it's good looking bag (no designer screaming but can still be designer ) shawl, jewelry. I would add skin care as well plus light makeup and brows. Because I'm natural blonde I have invisible brows so I did permanent eyebrows and it did wonders - wake up no makeup

 

[Alienza]

I think different style look suits different person and that is fine. In fact, I think you should create your own style. Make your own style of classy or your own style of elegant. Im sure you will look amazing.
I have a friend who always looks classy. She mostly wears black and puts simple but good make up, great hair. There is another friend who always looks sexy, even if she is not wearing anything revealing or tight clothing. Me, no matter what I did I cant look classy . It doesnt help that I dont really like black.My black clothes are bands concert tshirts and jeans. It used to bother me that I cant look classy but now I dont really care . Tried so hard to find a little black dress, but always end up buying pink, red or colourful dresses. I just cant help it. I like bright colours. They lift up my spirit. my clothes are simple and comfortable because I run here and there. Very different to my classy friend who can always walk slowly and elegantly. I wear super simple make up and even without lipstick since the pandemic. No point wearing lipstick under the mask. My friends said i look girly or cute but I prefer to describe my style as 'comfortable and lazy' . But whatever I wear I always carry one of my trusted LVs because they are low maintenance like me. And I always wear jewelry. although since pandemic I stopped wearing rings and bracelets (hand sanitizer ). So only ear studs and necklace, 24/7. And I always use perfume..even at home. I just like the smell of my perfume, not because my house is stinky.

 

[earthygirl]

Like MiaKing, I changed my wardrobe recently. I had my last baby in my early forties...and when I discarded my maternity clothes, I realized I didn’t have much left that I wanted to wear. I have replaced the majority of my clothes with clothing that is made of higher quality fabrics (silk, cotton, cashmere,etc.) and clothing that fits well. I feel most elegant in dresses (esp slip dresses) which I find can be styled in a myriad of ways. I also have had most of my dresses altered to knee length. Thsee small adjustments/ alterations make a big difference in how I feel. I try to stick to colors that flatter me. Black just does not do it for me, so even in the winter I don’t wear much black. I stick to grays, navy, taupes, and light beige colors. I use scarves and always carry a nice understated designer handbag. I wear jewelry but it’s simple and classic style jewelry. I love flip flops and sneakers, but I am deliberate about when and how I style them. I’ve actually invested in a pair of Valentino jelly bow flip flop sandals which look more dressy than normal flip flops. I also only wear heels that are comfortable...nothing higher than a 3 inch heel. I’m not much of a manicure Person but my nails always look groomed. I have issues with my hair but have found a style that looks best on me and is low maintenance as well. I take care of my skin and keep makeup to a minimum. (Just my preference) I think a big part of looking elegant and classy is feeling good and comfortable in what we wear. As I age, I focus on this aspect whenever I add a new piece of clothing to my wardrobe. I no Longer like to wear fitted clothing, but my clothing is not oversized either. i Just buy styles and cuts that flatter my body the most and pay less attention to trends. If I can incorporate a trend into my look then that’s a plus, but if not, then so be it.

im enjoying reading all Of your thoughts on this subject!

 

[Gabs007]

Tbh the easiest way to look "put together" is having a tailor who will alter clothes so they fit your body the right way, even something relatively inexpensive that fits well looks a lot better than the most expensive item that simply doesn't fit your body in the right way, small alterations usually don't cost much but make all the difference, that and feeling at home in your clothes, because somebody who obviously isn't comfy with what they are wearing will always betray it with body language and "trying too hard" is also a bit of an outfit killer.

 

[earthygirl]

Tbh the easiest way to look "put together" is having a tailor who will alter clothes so they fit your body the right way, even something relatively inexpensive that fits well looks a lot better than the most expensive item that simply doesn't fit your body in the right way, small alterations usually don't cost much but make all the difference, that and feeling at home in your clothes, because somebody who obviously isn't comfy with what they are wearing will always betray it with body language and "trying too hard" is also a bit of an outfit killer.

Couldn’t have said it better myself! I wholeheartedly agree!

 

[Gabs007]

Couldn’t have said it better myself! I wholeheartedly agree!

I spent years trying to find clothes that fit my body type, it is actually fairly athletic but then I have rather huge boobs on a small rib cage and always had a tiny waist, it is incredibly difficult to find a business suit or a dress that fits the right way, without being too tight in one place and having way too much fabric in another place. I didn't always want to wear separates, I am not too much a fan of the stretch look (with being blessed by the boob fairy - what a cow) it can easily look a bit sleezy and cheap, and in a business environment not appropriate. When I found a really fantastic Polish lady who will just do the nip and tuck with dresses and jackets or take the waistline of pants in, I was in heaven, it's comfortable, it looks good and I spend a lot less money on items where I bought simply because they were the closest fit I could get.

 

[Antonia]

I think accessories make a huge difference. A beautiful, colorful scarf. Designer sunglasses (my personal favorite - after purses). A statement belt (see Antonia's posts in the Outfit Of The Day thread for a enviable belt collection!). Beautiful shoes. Jewelry. And, as this is TPF, a fabulous purse!

Thank you @JenJBS ! I do wear a lot of belts...almost every day!! I feel that a nice belt to cinch the waist makes a HUGE difference in looking put together or looking more casual. You know who else loves her belts?? Diane Keaton! Although hers are like 5" wide!!

 

[mellecyn]

I´m gonna watch this! and see.... But I already see a lot of camel / neutrals. True that timeless classic is better to achieve that goal. And colors are fun but easily look cheap.

 

[jade]

View attachment 4869699
I´m gonna watch this! and see.... But I already see a lot of camel / neutrals. True that timeless classic is better to achieve that goal. And colors are fun but easily look cheap.

I am always so sad about the avoidance of color in these "chic tips" resources.

I think there are a couple of issues - it is hard to get colors outside of grey, black, ivory, camel and navy in "quality" or "timeless" basics. The other colors tend to be made in the cheapest fabrications. Secondly I think a lot of people are afraid of color for various reasons. I have a semi-joking thought that if I launched a brand, my brand would be focused on high quality staples with interesting details in non neutral colors! For those of us who want to looks "timeless" in a bolder way.

 

[Bambs]

Personally, for me....
Non-wrinkled clothes can very easily take you from messy to dressy! I swear by my steamer!

Manicured nails and toes. I live in Florida, so I there are quite a bit of people that wear flip flops 24/7 (my BF being the #1 offender of that), but I think a nice pair of heels can easily take your outfit to the next level. Speaking of heels - to not wear shoes that show excessive wear and tear. I know we all have that favorite pair of go-to shoes, but when it looks like your shoes have walked a thousand miles and back or your dog got ahold of one of the stilettos for an afternoon snack, it can make an outfit look a little less well put together. My rule of thumb, is that when a pair of shoes start seeing serious scuffs or a little too much wear for my liking, I put them in the donate bunch.

Makeup: I think simple makeup is key. Some mascara, maybe a lip tint or natural color, some blush/hi-lighter. And don't forget those brows! I have mine microbladed, so I don't have to fill them in every morning anymore, but having my eyebrows perfectly how I like them already makes me feel more attractive.

Clothes: I think everyone should express themselves while still dressing age appropriately. Personally, I don't like snug fit, body con clothes anymore. So, those all got donated long ago... but I always feel most put together when I'm wearing a knee-length, flowy dress or nice pants and a blouse... and don't forget the heels!

And I wanted to make an edit to this...Since I know we have ladies (and gentlemen) of varying age groups that contribute to these posts! By "heels" I don't necessarily mean stilettos. It can also be a nice loafer or flat. I just said heels, b/c that's what I usually gravitate towards. I just think a nice, classy shoe that suits your lifestyle! And keep the flip flops at the pool or beach, please lol

 

[mellecyn]

I am always so sad about the avoidance of color in these "chic tips" resources.

I think there are a couple of issues - it is hard to get colors outside of grey, black, ivory, camel and navy in "quality" or "timeless" basics. The other colors tend to be made in the cheapest fabrications. Secondly I think a lot of people are afraid of color for various reasons. I have a semi-joking thought that if I launched a brand, my brand would be focused on high quality staples with interesting details in non neutral colors! For those of us who want to looks "timeless" in a bolder way.

Sign me in!!! I already love colourful collar shirts.

But class has always been equal to timeless boring basics. Like where I’m from, I used to go to a catholic secondary school filled with old money people. This was in 1990, you could wear the same today. The style hasn’t changed. We even have a name for the type of old money, conservative, catholic look “la Versaillaise” mix British or German aristocrats. Ok I would wear : navy, grey, blue grey, green grey, burgundy, white. Collar shirts, lambswool or merino pullover, jeans Levi’s, pleated midi skirt, and loafers. Easy. and the padded headband.