How to look classy & put together with subtlety?

mellecyn

O.G.
Feb 28, 2006
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2,104
What do you think?
No matter how much I think neutral colors, quality fabrics, toned down patterns, classic staples first...I do not want to look like an old lady and feel that even if I was wearing Prada from head to toe I still wouldn´t look the part...
I´m always told I look elegant, and that´s probably how I carry myself, but I don´t think I look classy enough, or high middle class.
Looking at the Overall Silhouette first, and I´ve noticed face and hair are what´s most important afterall. BUT I do not have nice shiny thick hair, I´m thinning dramatically so my hair always has "frizzy baby hair" that looks undone and needs a lot of work...
I need more and more make up as I age just to hide the circles, and to "shape and define" eyes and eyebrows...
What are the little things that make a whole difference in your opinion?
 
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Gabs007

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Feb 5, 2018
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I wear a lot of black and throw in a bit of colour, a sweater or blouse in a neutral or a brighter tone, hardly any makeup, when I am having a bad hair day, I wear pony tail or a beret. I think little touches like a nice scarf, good bag and shoes help. My clothes need to be practical as well, letting me move around
 

JenJBS

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Sep 22, 2019
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I think accessories make a huge difference. A beautiful, colorful scarf. Designer sunglasses (my personal favorite - after purses). A statement belt (see Antonia's posts in the Outfit Of The Day thread for a enviable belt collection!). Beautiful shoes. Jewelry. And, as this is TPF, a fabulous purse!
 

Mairaculi

Member
Sep 9, 2020
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539
I love this question!
Since you mentioned neutral colors: One thing that made such a difference to me was to learn which colors - and especially which neutrals - work for me. Black, white and camel are such classic and timeless colors that can help you look more elegant and classy - says every second blog post.
But: I'm a summer type. I look kinda sick in a standard warm-toned camel coat, and like going to a funeral or waiting tables in black & white - like I was made to wear these colors due to the occasion - not because I'd choose them. Put me in a simple, monochromatic grey outfit and it looks so sophisticated.
Do you know your season color type? Not everyone likes this system - but it really helped me to look more put together. I don't follow it religiously but especially when shopping for solid colors that cover a lot of my body, like coats and dresses, I stay within the colors that suit me.
 

rose60610

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Mar 8, 2011
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Chicago
Well cut clothes.
Manicured nails-left either bare or painted with classic colors, flattering hairstyle "done" use hair products that help your issues, flattering makeup-especially groomed brows
Decent shoes. IMO trainers and flip flops are usually gross, hard to pull off nicely when you want to look "elevated"
Tasteful jewelry, watch, accessories
Good posture!
When speaking, try not to sound like a complainer or be sarcastic most of the time. Make eye contact.
 
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Gabs007

Member
Feb 5, 2018
2,187
2,856
I love this question!
Since you mentioned neutral colors: One thing that made such a difference to me was to learn which colors - and especially which neutrals - work for me. Black, white and camel are such classic and timeless colors that can help you look more elegant and classy - says every second blog post.
But: I'm a summer type. I look kinda sick in a standard warm-toned camel coat, and like going to a funeral or waiting tables in black & white - like I was made to wear these colors due to the occasion - not because I'd choose them. Put me in a simple, monochromatic grey outfit and it looks so sophisticated.
Do you know your season color type? Not everyone likes this system - but it really helped me to look more put together. I don't follow it religiously but especially when shopping for solid colors that cover a lot of my body, like coats and dresses, I stay within the colors that suit me.
The season type totally doesn't work for me, I am a "warm" type but can't wear gold, looks horrendously blingy on me, silver works and black suits me down to the ground, any beige tone, totally bland, white only in the summer when I have a very deep tan, I can wear some reds, but usually the warm variety, orange or cool pinks look ghastly, same with beige tones, navy totally doesn't work. I tend to stick to black, dark greys are fine, if I add a nice scarf or top in warm colours, I am good. I am one of those weird types with olive skin, but light eyes and hair (and I think my hair has about 5 different colours naturally, also gets very light in the sun) my eyebrows appear darker than they really are, but if I darken them, I look like I have slugs there.

I think everybody has some colours that work for them and are flattering, it is really easy to make a mistake when shopping as you usually don't have natural light and it often looks OK in electric light, but if you see yourself in the daylight, it's a totally different story.
 

mellecyn

O.G.
Feb 28, 2006
7,149
2,104
I love this question!
Since you mentioned neutral colors: One thing that made such a difference to me was to learn which colors - and especially which neutrals - work for me. Black, white and camel are such classic and timeless colors that can help you look more elegant and classy - says every second blog post.
But: I'm a summer type. I look kinda sick in a standard warm-toned camel coat, and like going to a funeral or waiting tables in black & white - like I was made to wear these colors due to the occasion - not because I'd choose them. Put me in a simple, monochromatic grey outfit and it looks so sophisticated.
Do you know your season color type? Not everyone likes this system - but it really helped me to look more put together. I don't follow it religiously but especially when shopping for solid colors that cover a lot of my body, like coats and dresses, I stay within the colors that suit me.
Thank you. Actually yes, I am an autumn. Olive skin, hazel eyes and dark brown hair.
So off white, warm reds, olive green and autumnal colors. I know I avoid Cool tones and pastel colors.
 

mellecyn

O.G.
Feb 28, 2006
7,149
2,104
Well cut clothes.
Manicured nails-left either bare or painted with classic colors, flattering hairstyle "done" use hair products that help your issues, flattering makeup-especially groomed brows
Decent shoes. IMO trainers and flip flops are usually gross, hard to pull off nicely when you want to look "elevated"
Tasteful jewelry, watch, accessories
Good posture!
When speaking, try not to sound like a complainer or be sarcastic most of the time. Make eye contact.
Yes well cut clothes are so important!! Now I’m focusing on materials that don’t wrinkle so easily...I spend so long ironing an expensive elegant cotton shirt only for it to wrinkle within minutes.
I haven’t figured out yet what to do with my hair...
Haha I agree that trainers and flip flops are just a no for that goal! Good quality leather shoes and good quality leather bag...and a good coat. I always say :smile:
And the watch. I remember an impromptu meeting with my friend’s colleagues from....Dior. Nerve wracking But luckily I had the same watch as them :P
I think sometimes the practical side destroys my style...like the fact I need to carry a laptop bag, and a purse and a coat ready for sh*tty weather.
 
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Gabs007

Member
Feb 5, 2018
2,187
2,856
Yes well cut clothes are so important!! Now I’m focusing on materials that don’t wrinkle so easily...I spend so long ironing an expensive elegant cotton shirt only for it to wrinkle within minutes.
I haven’t figured out yet what to do with my hair...
Haha I agree that trainers and flip flops are just a no for that goal! Good quality leather shoes and good quality leather bag...and a good coat. I always say :smile:
And the watch. I remember an impromptu meeting with my friend’s colleagues from....Dior. Nerve wracking But luckily I had the same watch as them :P
I think sometimes the practical side destroys my style...like the fact I need to carry a laptop bag, and a purse and a coat ready for sh*tty weather.
I hate ironing, you want to try a hand held clothes steam cleaner, especially for delicate fabrics absolutely perfect and takes literally no time. Personally I love linen but it wrinkles far too easily, however if it has some viscose in it, much much better
 
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mellecyn

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Feb 28, 2006
7,149
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I hate ironing, you want to try a hand held clothes steam cleaner, especially for delicate fabrics absolutely perfect and takes literally no time. Personally I love linen but it wrinkles far too easily, however if it has some viscose in it, much much better
I have a hand steamer actually! Which I don’t use correctly...
Oh yes linen is a nightmare...mum always told me polyester at least doesn’t wrinkle, but it’s all synthetic fiber...
 

Gabs007

Member
Feb 5, 2018
2,187
2,856
I have a hand steamer actually! Which I don’t use correctly...
Oh yes linen is a nightmare...mum always told me polyester at least doesn’t wrinkle, but it’s all synthetic fiber...
It might not wrinkle but it just feels weird and makes me all itchy, the hand steamer, they usually come with attachments, I am addicted to mine, it is minutes and items look fantastic. I have some things that are linen, silk, cotton and 1% elastane, they wear so well, on the other hand I spent a fortune on Brunello Cuccinelli pants, wool and cotton blend, and they wrinkle like crazy, fab if you put them on, really smart, just do not sit down...
 

880

30th anniversary cuff
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Aug 31, 2008
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Clothes that fit and flatter; accessories that don’t look brand new, but are well cared for; people should ideally notice you and not what you are wearing. . . (action shots in a brand sub forum — designed to focus on the items — notwithstanding lol). DH is more of a clothes horse than I am, and the test is, does the item in question look as if it was always in his closet (and does it play well with what he already owns).

My mom has a steamer, but I decided not to get one bc I read they require distilled water. (Part of my sustainability stuff is trying to buy preloved ( I love vintage dead stock clothes and bags) when appropriate; trying to avoid returns and packaging on new items bought at full retail; Trying not t buy stuff bc it’s on sale; and, avoiding products like bottled water, disposable cups etc. . . .) JMO though.

@mellecyn, the right hair cut or style can do wonders for people with hair issues (I have them too). Re makeup, I am milia prone and during covid, decided to skip a lot of makeupNd get more sleep. as per my dermatologist, I’ve just been using some tinted sunscreen (shiesedo) and think sometimes less is more. Have been using latisse on my eyebrows; but it’s too soon to tell if it works
 
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Apr 15, 2007
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Being well groomed & especially with wearing masks now, the focus seems to be on our faces.
Clean hair, styled to flatter one not what is the style of the day, well groomed brows are a must, mascara, eye shadow
is optional. Taking the best care of one's skin is also important as many of us are experiencing mask irritations.
Colors are very personal... I tend to go towards neutrals &midnight navy seems to be taking over black
clothes & doesn't look quite so severe
Having your clothes fit & be clean is very important & wearing the right clothes can give us all that boost of confidence.
Personal style is more important that what is in fashion. Finding a designer that compliments the way one
wants to look & feel in their clothes will also add to being put together. There are a couple of designers
that I favor, so I usually will look at what is in their collections be it past or present, as sometimes I miss out on
an item or two & it will round out the season for me.
A classic watch & earrings also add to our individuality
Having well groomed nails has always been important to me. Nails don't have to be polished, but at least
all the same length & no ragged cuticles. It's a pet peeve of mine for many years, sorry LOL
I do think scarves add that pop of color & a level of interest.
Bags in their own way speak to individuality so there are choices across the board. I'm a fan of the Kelly
& that offers me that pop that I look for very often
Think that much of what has been shared, can give us all that finished & polished look that is easy to obtain
 
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