How do your bags make you feel?
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I bought my first premier designer bag a week ago. I have had this list of stuff I feel like I should have to feel polished, sophisticated and "like I have arrived," that I have been looking for since age 22 (I am mid 30s).
On the "list" the great structured black bag (and black it needed to be), the nice watch, nice pumps, designer wallet, leather business card case, great trench coat. And a few more. The stories behind each are too long to share.
The bag was a semi-impulse buy.
I guess I was sick of my closet clutter and the classic black bags that failed.
I was inspired to start looking when I saw the Coach Swagger. Which reminded me of my first designer bag, a Coach Hamptons Carryall which was basically a quieter less edgy version of the swagger, I purchased around 10 years ago. I remember saving up and feeling like I arrived when I got it. It was the polished black bag of my dreams and held all my stuff. Even a laptop in a pinch. I got compliments from everyone. I noticed my snooty coworker suddenly started talking to me about shopping and fashion after I started carrying this bag. Then it died. And that's another story.
But I have been trying to recreate that feeling ever since. Getting many bags that failed in practicality or feeling. Most recently (past few years) I got the lovely Michael Kors Selma which now feels a little to common so I have her in a longer rotation cycle.
A few months ago i grabbed a clearance max mara bag that felt like a winner. But after a few months I realized it was not practical and hard to close.
So the swagger inspired me to look again. And I decided to purge my closet of the bags I do not use or see a use for. After a closer examination of the swagger I felt it didn't represent me the way I wanted.
I wanted something with understated luxury. That I could carry for a decade or more. And I wanted that luxurious feeling. But just for me, and not obvious to everyone else. I realized that the reason I was on the fence about the ubiquitous Prada tote was that it wasn't me. I had always appreciated the Kelly bag and my imaginary ladies who lunch too handle lifestyle.
One thing I find for me (as a black woman) that in lots of places it is assumed you do not belong until proven otherwise. Having a designer bag can be a signal that helps. But on the flip side, I am plenty confident in myself without the fancy bag. I dress well on the cheap and garner plenty of compliments.
And I sat on the fence about getting a "premier bag" because I couldn't figure out why spending four digits on a bag was going to make me feel validated and accomplished.
And then I thought about how long I have been pondering this. And I said forget it. It is time to just do it. So I did. And I got a Ferragamo Sofia. And it is amazing. It feels like the perfect impression. People not in the know just think "nice bag" and do not put a price there. But it signals potentially snooty SAs to be nice.
And it happens to be amazingly practical for my lifestyle. I feel like I am done with bag shopping. Finally got that off my list. I have no other things in my wish list. And this week I have been obsessed finishing up my small leather goods list too. So I can expend that mental energy on other stuff and enter the next phase.
So that's my really long answer. I feel like I have accomplished this meaningless milestone in my life and I can keep on climbing and achieving in other ways. And it helps me give off a "polished" impression. Even with my cheap forever21/target/Ann Taylor/h&m wardrobe.
On the "list" the great structured black bag (and black it needed to be), the nice watch, nice pumps, designer wallet, leather business card case, great trench coat. And a few more. The stories behind each are too long to share.
The bag was a semi-impulse buy.
I guess I was sick of my closet clutter and the classic black bags that failed.
I was inspired to start looking when I saw the Coach Swagger. Which reminded me of my first designer bag, a Coach Hamptons Carryall which was basically a quieter less edgy version of the swagger, I purchased around 10 years ago. I remember saving up and feeling like I arrived when I got it. It was the polished black bag of my dreams and held all my stuff. Even a laptop in a pinch. I got compliments from everyone. I noticed my snooty coworker suddenly started talking to me about shopping and fashion after I started carrying this bag. Then it died. And that's another story.
But I have been trying to recreate that feeling ever since. Getting many bags that failed in practicality or feeling. Most recently (past few years) I got the lovely Michael Kors Selma which now feels a little to common so I have her in a longer rotation cycle.
A few months ago i grabbed a clearance max mara bag that felt like a winner. But after a few months I realized it was not practical and hard to close.
So the swagger inspired me to look again. And I decided to purge my closet of the bags I do not use or see a use for. After a closer examination of the swagger I felt it didn't represent me the way I wanted.
I wanted something with understated luxury. That I could carry for a decade or more. And I wanted that luxurious feeling. But just for me, and not obvious to everyone else. I realized that the reason I was on the fence about the ubiquitous Prada tote was that it wasn't me. I had always appreciated the Kelly bag and my imaginary ladies who lunch too handle lifestyle.
One thing I find for me (as a black woman) that in lots of places it is assumed you do not belong until proven otherwise. Having a designer bag can be a signal that helps. But on the flip side, I am plenty confident in myself without the fancy bag. I dress well on the cheap and garner plenty of compliments.
And I sat on the fence about getting a "premier bag" because I couldn't figure out why spending four digits on a bag was going to make me feel validated and accomplished.
And then I thought about how long I have been pondering this. And I said forget it. It is time to just do it. So I did. And I got a Ferragamo Sofia. And it is amazing. It feels like the perfect impression. People not in the know just think "nice bag" and do not put a price there. But it signals potentially snooty SAs to be nice.
And it happens to be amazingly practical for my lifestyle. I feel like I am done with bag shopping. Finally got that off my list. I have no other things in my wish list. And this week I have been obsessed finishing up my small leather goods list too. So I can expend that mental energy on other stuff and enter the next phase.
So that's my really long answer. I feel like I have accomplished this meaningless milestone in my life and I can keep on climbing and achieving in other ways. And it helps me give off a "polished" impression. Even with my cheap forever21/target/Ann Taylor/h&m wardrobe.
I bought my first premier designer bag a week ago...I feel like I have accomplished this meaningless milestone in my life and I can keep on climbing and achieving in other ways.
The outward expression of an important, huge inner achievement may be buying a handbag.
That's not "meaningless." Just hard to explain, sometimes. But, we understand it, here.
Congratulations to you.
The feeling my bags give to me is so hard to put into words...happy is the closest I could think of. It really hurts my feelings when people label our obsession as being materialistic. That to me is being judgmental.For me, as long as you can afford it, then go for it...
My bags just make me happy. I feel better about myself when I'm using a bag I really love. It has nothing to do with how much they cost. I spend more time with them than most people would.. I also have one I use when I'm anxious, sounds crazy but it really helps! I love my bags!!
Dare I say... comfort.
I feel at ease knowing I have everything I think I need in a bag that is also appeasing to the eye.... When I have my handbag with me it feels like a treasure chest of goodies... How weird is that... Additionally, how strange is it that I'll catch my husband going thru my handbags just to see what is in them... Apparently he used to do that with his mothers bags.. The downside is he takes my change for the car wash and if he finds candy it is totally going in his pocket.
Perhaps I have attachment issues...
That's not weird at all! I feel the same way.
I LOVE hearing what everyone's bags mean to them. So many different perspectives and stories. 😄
For me, it's almost a matter of trying to figure out what positive emotion don't my bags make me feel? When I wear my babies, I feel joyful, special, sexy, smart, put together, beautiful, quirky, independent, happy, powerful, content, spoiled, funny, sovereign, edgy, fashionable, elite, sophisticated...
I love fashion with a particular love for handbags. And now that I've started treating myself with the brands and models I really love, each bag acquisition brings a range of estatic emotions. In fact, my bags make me so happy it's a signal of when I have bought the "right" bag. If I'm not giddy and planning outfits and activities around the bag the minute I receive it, it's not right for me.
My bags help me be better. They remind me to always look my best and find something fun to do worthy of me carrying them. They help me live every minute fully.
For me, my bags aren't political, they aren't a support system, they aren't a statement to anyone. They aren't that serious. But, they are so very important. And I dearly I love them! 😍😍😍
For me, it's almost a matter of trying to figure out what positive emotion don't my bags make me feel? When I wear my babies, I feel joyful, special, sexy, smart, put together, beautiful, quirky, independent, happy, powerful, content, spoiled, funny, sovereign, edgy, fashionable, elite, sophisticated...
I love fashion with a particular love for handbags. And now that I've started treating myself with the brands and models I really love, each bag acquisition brings a range of estatic emotions. In fact, my bags make me so happy it's a signal of when I have bought the "right" bag. If I'm not giddy and planning outfits and activities around the bag the minute I receive it, it's not right for me.
My bags help me be better. They remind me to always look my best and find something fun to do worthy of me carrying them. They help me live every minute fully.
For me, my bags aren't political, they aren't a support system, they aren't a statement to anyone. They aren't that serious. But, they are so very important. And I dearly I love them! 😍😍😍
I feel suffocated too.. and even a little controlled. I always think about the next purchase, even though I just bought one. When I bought my first designer bags I was so happy and had that feeling for a really long time. Now I just have so many and I feel guilty about buying so many and not saving up this money.. I'm still young, want to go on vacations, buy a house one day, etc. I still love carying them and the feeling I have when I carry them but still sometimes I get a little mad at myself about why I even feel that I need that. I know I don't and I'm a very down-to-earth and inartificial person, just have a lot of love for designer bags, mainly Chanel, Céline and ChloéI hate to be a Debbie Downer...but right now, at this point, my bags are making me feel suffocated. I have too many....yes, too many. I remember the days when I carried one bag for fall/winter and one bag for spring/summer and I wore them out and then bought new ones. The amount I have now...yes, I love the variety, but it's ridiculous.
It makes me feel shallow, even though I know I'm not. I'm a caring person. I'm trying to fill a void.
I waver between wanting more handbags, because there are so many gorgeous ones out there, and I appreciate the craftsmanship so much...to wanting to burn (or sell) everything I have and start all over.
Does anyone else feel like me? I'm just beating myself up a lot lately. Please be kind with your responses! (Thank you so much!)
I love all of my bags and don't regret it, but I a have a pretty classic collection, so I know I can enjoy them for many years without adding new ones.
I decided not buy any bags in the years to come and enjoy what I have to a) realize, enjoy and use what I have b) finally starting to save money or invest it elsewhere and c) getting rid of that controlling feeling. I just feel for myself that it is not healthy for me anymore. "Use it, but don't be controlled by it"
But I'm very positive that in a few years, when I'm in a different position, I can feel proud again about buying a bag like most of you do. I just need a little break to get there.
Actually, yesterday my little RM bag kept me going when I was SO pissed off I was breathing fire and spitting brimstone. At work, I got such a crappy surprise from my colleagues from the depot and was left to deal with the mess - because of it I was seeeriously behind schedule.
If it wasn't for the little Mini MAB peeking out of the department store paper bag I probably would've given up, sat down and refused to get up. The bag lifted my spirits and I couldn't wait to get home and get to know her better!
If it wasn't for the little Mini MAB peeking out of the department store paper bag I probably would've given up, sat down and refused to get up. The bag lifted my spirits and I couldn't wait to get home and get to know her better!
I knew I had posted in this thread before, so I searched for it. Yep, and in 3 years I still feel the same way. Happy, guilty, etc. Funny how things change but they stay the same.
Here is my prior post:
"Happy ... excited ... guilty ... hope no one notices how many I have ... hope no one knows how much I spent on them ... but totally in love with them. Like someone else said, like a guy feels about a car - but I feel that way about my car And my bags!
Put together ... stylish. Did I say happy?
And hoping no one sees me and my bag as I'm getting out of my car. That's like a double-whammy guilt feeling (if that makes any sense to someone)."
Here is my prior post:
"Happy ... excited ... guilty ... hope no one notices how many I have ... hope no one knows how much I spent on them ... but totally in love with them. Like someone else said, like a guy feels about a car - but I feel that way about my car And my bags!
Put together ... stylish. Did I say happy?
And hoping no one sees me and my bag as I'm getting out of my car. That's like a double-whammy guilt feeling (if that makes any sense to someone)."
This morning - after having recovered from my Saturday work disaster - I went to my bag closet to get out a bag that is leaving for its new home today. I looked at the bags and I realized, I was looking at my own evolution. Many of my milestone life events have been celebrated with a bag.
From a carefree twentysomething to a more refined woman almost 40 years old, I've done alot of growing up, gone through alot of sh*t and prospered. I've accomplished. And I have the bags to show for it. Not as in, "I have stuff, therefore my life has a meaning" but more like "I've worked hard and done well enough so I could pay my bills AND treat myself".
My bags made me feel proud.
From a carefree twentysomething to a more refined woman almost 40 years old, I've done alot of growing up, gone through alot of sh*t and prospered. I've accomplished. And I have the bags to show for it. Not as in, "I have stuff, therefore my life has a meaning" but more like "I've worked hard and done well enough so I could pay my bills AND treat myself".
My bags made me feel proud.
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I feel suffocated too.. and even a little controlled. I always think about the next purchase, even though I just bought one. When I bought my first designer bags I was so happy and had that feeling for a really long time. Now I just have so many and I feel guilty about buying so many and not saving up this money.. I'm still young, want to go on vacations, buy a house one day, etc. I still love carying them and the feeling I have when I carry them but still sometimes I get a little mad at myself about why I even feel that I need that. I know I don't and I'm a very down-to-earth and inartificial person, just have a lot of love for designer bags, mainly Chanel, Céline and Chloé
I love all of my bags and don't regret it, but I a have a pretty classic collection, so I know I can enjoy them for many years without adding new ones.
I decided not buy any bags in the years to come and enjoy what I have to a) realize, enjoy and use what I have b) finally starting to save money or invest it elsewhere and c) getting rid of that controlling feeling. I just feel for myself that it is not healthy for me anymore. "Use it, but don't be controlled by it"
But I'm very positive that in a few years, when I'm in a different position, I can feel proud again about buying a bag like most of you do. I just need a little break to get there.
Thank you for such a thoughtful, honest response. While I'm sorry that you feel this way, it is a comfort to know that I'm not the only one out there going through this.
I was "good" for a few months, happy with what I had and I avoided buying anything new. Then I started again. Usually, springtime isn't a huge tempting season for me, as I prefer the materials, textures, colors of fall and winter, but the designers out there are creating some gorgeous bags for this spring/summer, and I've been "bad" again.
I notice that my habit tends to get worse when I'm stressed about something else in my life. The retail "therapy" does not last long, though - maybe a few minutes or a couple of hours at most? - and the source of the anxiety does not go away -- in fact, it only increases because I've just spent more money instead of saving it. Being aware of that helps me avoid stores.
We are good people, but of course we have flaws and we need to work on them. It doesn't mean we're evil. We're not perfect. But we'll get to that state of balance!!! Thank you again for your note.
