ugh no. if i dont want certain things anymore i give them to my friends but i dont loan anything.
How do you feel about friends borrowing your clotes repeatedly?
- Thread starter jclr
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I honestly always have problem lending stuff to other people cause usually that will be the last time I see it. I always try to avoid that kind of situation, especially when it comes to expensive handbags and clothings. I mean, I'm playing it fair. I don't borrow my friend's expensive clothes either. The only thing that I usually borrow is a pair of shorts or shirts, if I'm spending the night at her place.
Now, if she's a really good friend of mine, I really don't care. She can borrow it as often as she wants, as long as she takes good care of it. Fortunately my best friend is wearing different size than mine =)
The point is, if it really bothers you, I think you have the right to tell her. You can tell her in a nice way, of course. If she's really your good friend, she won't resent you for that. I believe that as an adult, you have the right to choose whether you want to share something that you bought with your hard earned money. It's not being selfish. Sharing is good but it's not mandatory as we're not in 3rd grade anymore.
I can see where u would be irritated, if something was new and my friend wore it more than me i'd start to be annoyed too. clothes do show wear n tear rather quickly.
I never get back stuff I lend out so I dont like doing it anymore. I even recently lent a coworker/friend of mine one of my best shirts and never saw it again, story of my life.
I never get back stuff I lend out so I dont like doing it anymore. I even recently lent a coworker/friend of mine one of my best shirts and never saw it again, story of my life.
Janos, Sonya...I was feeling like she was taking advantage, but I thought I would take responsibility for the fact that I was the one who offered the first time. It's funny...now I remember that when I asked for the dresses back the first time around, she asked me if she should dry clean them first. I was floored. I would have just done it w/out asking first. I was so irritated that I said, "yes, that would be a good idea".
Janos, if she ends up getting serious with any of these guys, I don't think I'll have to supply her with dresses. She has been dating gazillionaires exclusively (another issue altogether) so they would be able to provide her a much better wardrobe than I currently have!
Now I don't feel so bad about feeling bad. We'll just see when I get my dress back!
Janos, if she ends up getting serious with any of these guys, I don't think I'll have to supply her with dresses. She has been dating gazillionaires exclusively (another issue altogether) so they would be able to provide her a much better wardrobe than I currently have!
Now I don't feel so bad about feeling bad. We'll just see when I get my dress back!
Kiwi made some excellent points
I am such a horrible person, i HATE to share
I would rather buy someone something than let them borrow mine.
I am ashamed to say, but when i let my friend borrow my favorite sweater this one time to a dinner we went to with friends, i found myself periodically look at her to see that she wasnt spilling anything on it.
And i HATE it when people even look in my closet because i dont want them asking to borrow clothes/shoes/purses/jewelry/accessories when they see it.
If someone calls me to borrow something, i bring over TONS of stuff for them, but secretly it is all clothes that i wouldnt mind too much if they wore. I would never bring designer or my favorite things for them to pick from.
I know that is selfish, and i am trying to work on it. I do not have too much designer clothing, but i am still blessed and closets filled with sooooo many clothes. So i should share and be happy to share.... but i just cantIt's sad, i know.
Not that i am trying to justify my actions by any means, but although i am selfish when it comes to people borrowing my clothes, i NEVER ask to borrow anyone else's. And although I am selfish in the borrowing my clothes area, i am not selfish in any other area of life. I just have a hang-up about my clothes
Not to facilitate my selfishness..... but what is a nice way to say "no" to a person who asks to borrow something that you dont want to loan out?
I thought of one, "It's kinda special because my parents/relative/SO bought it for me," but i can only use that line so many times.
LOL, you are not alone... I feel the exact same way. However, my friends don't ask me because they have more clothes than me.... I just have more designer pieces.
Don't do anything you are not 100% comfortable doing.
It doesn't matter if you offered it to her first. She shouldn't take advantage of your generosity. I offer things to my friends all the time ... it becomes obvious who is grateful and who is grateful but takes advantage. I get a lot of free makeup/skincare products that I give out to people. I mentioned to one of my friends that if she needs something, she should let me know. So she came over, and she wanted to look at everything, and it became a little awkward because there are some things that I didn't want to give her (things I'm saving up for other people, etc.) but I ended up giving her a ton of things. I felt like I couldn't say no because I offered to give her things. In the end it was fine, despite the fact that I will very likely keep giving her products once in awhile, but I probably won't offer the invitation again.
Just because you told her that she could borrow your dress does not give her an open invitation to always ask and use your closet as her personal wardrobe.
Now, she may not be aware of what she's doing, so it's best to talk to her about it so that you both don't misunderstand each other.
Good luck!
It doesn't matter if you offered it to her first. She shouldn't take advantage of your generosity. I offer things to my friends all the time ... it becomes obvious who is grateful and who is grateful but takes advantage. I get a lot of free makeup/skincare products that I give out to people. I mentioned to one of my friends that if she needs something, she should let me know. So she came over, and she wanted to look at everything, and it became a little awkward because there are some things that I didn't want to give her (things I'm saving up for other people, etc.) but I ended up giving her a ton of things. I felt like I couldn't say no because I offered to give her things. In the end it was fine, despite the fact that I will very likely keep giving her products once in awhile, but I probably won't offer the invitation again.
Just because you told her that she could borrow your dress does not give her an open invitation to always ask and use your closet as her personal wardrobe.
Now, she may not be aware of what she's doing, so it's best to talk to her about it so that you both don't misunderstand each other.
Good luck!
I DON'T borrow stuff - except to my mother (different story, and it rarely happens anyway). E.g. gave some of my maternity blouses I wanted to save for next time (if there is one) to my brohter's wife cause she asked for them and I have NOT received them back yet, although that was last summer. I did say that I want them back. I hate when people are easy with your stuff.
Yeah, I kinda feel the same as DamierFashion. I have this friend who tries to borrow clothes from me all the time but she's like one size bigger than me and she much taller. So the clothes kinda looks weird on her because the sleeves are too short. Plus, I worry that she's going to stretch them all out! I know she's nice and will lend me her stuff but I just don't ask to borrow them. If I like something, I will just go and buy it myself. My mom taught me that if a person has the sense to ask you to borrow clothes or do something you don't want to then you should feel no shame in saying no to them.
^^I agree, I used to lend clothes to a friend all the time and she'd always return the items back stretched. I don't borrow my friends' clothes, I feel weird wearing other people's clothes. I don't really like lending clothes out, but I don't really know how to say no...I can't count how many items of clothing that I've lent out and never saw again. An ex friend even borrowed a bra and never returned it, not that I wanted it back.
I'm very protective of my clothes and accessories so I never lend them out to anyone except to my sister and my mom. I think you should do whatever you feel comfortable with. It is ok to say no to your friends.