**Hermes Chat**
- Thread starter ms piggy
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Okay. Somebody 'splain this to me. I eat bland soft food like I'm supposed to after an upset stomach, and I feel like my innards are trying to explode...I eat a McDonald's cheeseburger and Coke, and my stomach goes, "Ahhhhhhh" and settles down. Eat more Big Macs?
Laney - I agree with everyone else. Stop feeling guilty and think of it this way. People do not quietly slip away like they show in the movies, at least in my experience.
I was there when my father died. It was EXCRUCIATING to watch and the most horrifying part was that I didn't want to but the hospice nurses physically held me there so I could "say goodbye" while I listened to him gurgle his last breaths and stare at nothing with vacant eyes. This is not a memory I cherish. Sorry for the graphic description but I want you to understand that being there when someone you love dies is horrible.
Be grateful your sister didn't have to see that or anything remotely similar to it.
I was there when my father died. It was EXCRUCIATING to watch and the most horrifying part was that I didn't want to but the hospice nurses physically held me there so I could "say goodbye" while I listened to him gurgle his last breaths and stare at nothing with vacant eyes. This is not a memory I cherish. Sorry for the graphic description but I want you to understand that being there when someone you love dies is horrible.
Be grateful your sister didn't have to see that or anything remotely similar to it.
Purse, Mree, Restricter, OB, Avril, EB, Mistikat, CK, CG, thenurse, Mindi and Pugs, Thank you so very much for your very kind words and support. It means a lot to me.
I am sorry to hear your Dad has passed. December 13th was the day my Dad passed as well, I'll always include you and your family in my thoughts and prayers that day!
Thank you CG. We knew my Dad's time was near but the Dr.'s had just told my Mom that he could live 6 more weeks, they were surprised how well he was doing.....then in just a week's time he rapidly declined and was gone.
I originally planned to go out to visit after the New Year but my Mom had been by herself for 2 weeks and was at mental meltdown point. So she went and stayed with my sister for a week and then I flew in for a week. My dad passed a day and 1/2 after my Mom and I got back into town. I didn't expect that. I will forever be grateful I was with my Mom when the call came that he had passed, (it would have taken at least 5 hours for the closest family member to get to her), I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy for someone to be by themselves to receive that call.
Thanks Mindi! My family does like to joke that I think I can protect everyone and their feelings. I will always feel sad and that I failed to do that for my youngest sister. When my Mom visited my Dad on the day he died, the nurse said it was looking bad and that he would most likely pass within a week. I called my sisters that evening to tell them. My youngest sister, (who was so very close to my Dad and having a horrible time right now), asked why the nurse said that, I told her I didn't know, so my sister called to talk to the nurse as my sister is a nurse as well. My sister called me back and said she and her dh were packing, calling the babysitter and getting on the road, (they are a little over a 3 hour drive from my parents house), asap as after she talked to his nurse my sister was worried about my Dad making it through the night, but it would definitely be in the next 48 hours. Then less than an hour later he was gone, my sister hadn't even had time to finish packing. Through all of this my sister said she didn't want my Dad to die alone and she wanted to be there to hold her Daddy's hand as he slipped away. If I had just thought to call her that afternoon, just a few hours earlier than I did, all of that would have happened. I cry a lot over the fact I called her to late and she didn't get to say good bye and be there with him.
Laney, you shouldn't blame yourself for this. You did the best you could with the knowledge you had available in a immensely difficult situation. You are an incredibly kind and thoughtful woman. You did nothing wrong. I think your thoughts are all part of the normal grieving process. (((Hugs)))
Take this advice as sometimes it is just better to them peaceful afterwards.
I am sorry you were treated like that, restricter. It was unhuman.
Death. It ain't pretty. Hmmm. Maybe I'll get that on a t-shirt.
Now where's the vet with my update on Winky already? I wonder if the vet survived his encounter with my Tasmanian Devil?
Now where's the vet with my update on Winky already? I wonder if the vet survived his encounter with my Tasmanian Devil?
If I was smart enough to post a video here, I have a clip of Winky snarling at me from his cage.
I would be skeered of that video, restricter!
Laney, you can't blame yourself for not calling your sister earlier. The fact that you called her at all in that difficult time is to be commended! You both did everything you could do! You kept her informed with what you knew, she called on her own to learn more...you both got sucker punched with his very quick passing.
I'm so sorry for your loss but, so glad you could be there for your Mom.
Laney, you can't blame yourself for not calling your sister earlier. The fact that you called her at all in that difficult time is to be commended! You both did everything you could do! You kept her informed with what you knew, she called on her own to learn more...you both got sucker punched with his very quick passing.
I'm so sorry for your loss but, so glad you could be there for your Mom.
I'm fine, really. My really graphic point is that there are things you're better off not seeing.
Purse, Mree, Restricter, OB, Avril, EB, Mistikat, CK, CG, thenurse, Mindi and Pugs, Thank you so very much for your very kind words and support. It means a lot to me.
Thanks Mindi! My family does like to joke that I think I can protect everyone and their feelings. I will always feel sad and that I failed to do that for my youngest sister. When my Mom visited my Dad on the day he died, the nurse said it was looking bad and that he would most likely pass within a week. I called my sisters that evening to tell them. My youngest sister, (who was so very close to my Dad and having a horrible time right now), asked why the nurse said that, I told her I didn't know, so my sister called to talk to the nurse as my sister is a nurse as well. My sister called me back and said she and her dh were packing, calling the babysitter and getting on the road, (they are a little over a 3 hour drive from my parents house), asap as after she talked to his nurse my sister was worried about my Dad making it through the night, but it would definitely be in the next 48 hours. Then less than an hour later he was gone, my sister hadn't even had time to finish packing. Through all of this my sister said she didn't want my Dad to die alone and she wanted to be there to hold her Daddy's hand as he slipped away. If I had just thought to call her that afternoon, just a few hours earlier than I did, all of that would have happened. I cry a lot over the fact I called her to late and she didn't get to say good bye and be there with him.
Oh Laney, you can't beat yourself up over this
Poor Pugsy, I know it pained you to have to buy those pair of shoes and not some gorgeous shooz!
It's ok. I'll make sure to send pictures so you can giggle
Poor sweet Codygirl, she deal's with a lot in the shoe dept. of BG, "le petit meltdown" and unfortunately when the doors of the elevator opened on the shooz floor I shoved her out of the way and went charging towards some boots. I don't know what happened, with my awful feet and need for "special" shoes, I couldn't wear any of those shoes.....but......but......when the elevator door opened, there they were in all their shiny splendor, beautiful shoes, tons of them........Cody is definitely a good sport!
Yes! She was so sweet, she helped me pry off the boots while I was sitting on the floor pouting.
YES!
This is true
I remember that! LOL! Perfect visual!
OB, look at my shooz and then look outside
Yes, eat more Big Macs
Oh Restricter, I am so sorry you had to see that
I am so sorry the hospice nurse did that. Ok, I want to see Winky argue with the vet.
Yes!!!
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