Have you ever fallen for a close friend?

G

gogo90

Member
Jan 9, 2007
34
0
#1
Have you ever fallen for a close friend? What did you do? I've been friends with my best guy friend for almost 4 years, and recently I've developed deeper feelings for him. But theres the whole friend factor and it could get messy. Should I leave it alone or go for it? Any advice please?:confused1:
 
#2
Eeehhh.... Yes. I have. And we ended up dating.... for about 6 months. Actually, he fell for me - and pursued me, more then the other way around.

I had alot of fun, and it was INCREDIBLY convenient - because we had all of the same friends!! We were into the same things and got along very well.... Unfornuately, in the end - things didn't work out and the break-up part ended up being THAT much messier because we were very good friends beforehand....

Since we had all of the same friends, we couldn't hang out as a collective "group" anymore, without somebody being weird about it. I was getting ready to graduate from college and he still had a year left... so in the end, I basically severed ties from all the "friends" I had in that circle, and started gravitiating towards other circles of friends I had....:sad:

It all worked out okay, and I don't know that I would change a thing - because I had the most fun with my BFBF (best friend boy friend), then I'd had with any person I've dated. It's just sad, because if you already "like" the person, you're probably more likely to fall in love quickly.... so I think that is kinda of what happened with us. Even though I dated a lots of people beforehand, and a few of them were more long term relationships (which means more then a year for me), then my BFBF... I really feel like he was my first LOVE... like intense, crazy.... first love. However, we knew so much about either other before we dated, our relationship felt like it was moving at light speed. So, its kind of sad........

Anyhow. I don't want to be a downer - because I'm sure people have success stories too!! If it works out, it could be the perfect combination, since you know you already get along really well!! I just didn't really have a good experience with dating a person that I was good friends with beforehand...
 
#3
I think it all depends. I had situations where guy friends of mine were interested in more and I was simply just interested in being friends. Then they felt kinda weird and our friendship got kinda weird, so I think it all depends. I've known other people who were friends for a while and then dated for a bit but things didn't work out and they just went back to being friends. Sometimes you can go back to being friends and sometimes you can't depending on how things go. I guess I would try to feel things out the best you can to see if he might reciprocate those feelings. If not, then at least you still have a friend.
 
#4
My current BF and I have been friends since 7th grade (we're 23 now), and as far back as I can remember, we've always had a thing for each other. We never pursued it because one of us would have a bf or gf, so we always just stayed friends. Last summer, we finally decided to get together, and it's the best decision I have ever made. We actually just had our one year anniversary on June 2. He's the love of my life! =)

If you feel strongly enough for the person, you should go for it. Otherwise, you'll always be wondering what could have been!
 
#5
Yes...But in my situation my close friend happened to be homosexual - so there was nothing I could really do about it. This happened during the time I was still with my exboyfriend. Me and my friend spent a lot of time together since we had German together and liked to study during our free time (and also go out to eat, lol). He was such a fantastic guy...So cute, so sweet, so caring, charming, etc.
 
#6
Yes and I am married to him!
I am 24 coming up 25.
He was my sisters best friend and I became best of friends with him.
He started showing interest in me and I did the same. He had a girlfriend and he was also 2 years older than me. He told me that he loved me and I said you have Robyn (His gf) Robyn was also one of my best friends. She had no idea but she always told me that her and Gary were so unhappy together. She had different interests to him. Gary told robyn about his feelings towards me. Robyn was fine with this. So Gary and me became boyfriend and girlfriend. We were sooo happy together. I lost my virginity at a very young age to him, (14) he told like nobody! I am now married to him and happy as ever. Currently trying for a baby :biggrin:
Robyn was my bridesmaid at my wedding. She is now an art teacher and Gary is a football specialist.
 
#7
Hahah!

He was a friend, but not a close friend.... I always feel dumb trying to explain how we wound up together.:shame:...we've known each other pretty much our whole lives, were friendly growing up...had mutual friends thru school & college (including both our exes!)... and about 3yrs ago, we all went out in a group & he wound up walking me back to my hotel....and we wound up holding hands...lol... No kiss g'nite at the door, (that would've been too weird!) but everything kind of fell into place from there!! Lucky for us, we were both single at the time.

Lucky me... it worked out! We've been together ever since. :love:
 
#8
I've been on both ends...one where the guy liked me, but I didn't feel anything and vice-versa. With the friends *I've* liked, it never ended up well. :sad: Please keep in mind that I almost never pursue hot guys; the guys that I normally pursue are average to slightly above-average. Maybe I have bad luck or something, but after confessing my feelings to them, they would act really weird around me because, even though we were good friends, they didn't like being with me because they thought I'd try to do something with them. It was so frustrating, and things didn't become normal until I told them I didn't like them anymore.

I don't want to be a downer, either! I say try hint at the idea with him in a casual conversation. You might want to keep in mind on how he'll handle the situation when you lay your feelings out to him. If you think he likes you, too, go for it! Good luck. :smile:
 
#9
Bags4Bubbles said:
Eeehhh.... Yes. I have. And we ended up dating.... for about 6 months. Actually, he fell for me - and pursued me, more then the other way around.

I had alot of fun, and it was INCREDIBLY convenient - because we had all of the same friends!! We were into the same things and got along very well.... Unfornuately, in the end - things didn't work out and the break-up part ended up being THAT much messier because we were very good friends beforehand....

Since we had all of the same friends, we couldn't hang out as a collective "group" anymore, without somebody being weird about it. I was getting ready to graduate from college and he still had a year left... so in the end, I basically severed ties from all the "friends" I had in that circle, and started gravitiating towards other circles of friends I had....:sad:

It all worked out okay, and I don't know that I would change a thing - because I had the most fun with my BFBF (best friend boy friend), then I'd had with any person I've dated. It's just sad, because if you already "like" the person, you're probably more likely to fall in love quickly.... so I think that is kinda of what happened with us. Even though I dated a lots of people beforehand, and a few of them were more long term relationships (which means more then a year for me), then my BFBF... I really feel like he was my first LOVE... like intense, crazy.... first love. However, we knew so much about either other before we dated, our relationship felt like it was moving at light speed. So, its kind of sad........

Anyhow. I don't want to be a downer - because I'm sure people have success stories too!! If it works out, it could be the perfect combination, since you know you already get along really well!! I just didn't really have a good experience with dating a person that I was good friends with beforehand...
Click to expand...

:crybaby:This reminds me of my past relationship with my best friend!!! We were best friends and then somehow ended up falling for each other, he asked me out, and I've never felt so deeply for anyone. I feel like I can confidently say that I truly loved him (and love is a big thing to me) and when we broke up...it was a very messy breakup due to the fact we were so close before and we had the same circle of friends. The circle actually excommunicated me (instead of the other way around). But yes, I feel that he was my first love, and it was intense and crazy and I honestly thought I was going to end up marrying him...but then things came up.

And I don't know. I don't feel so intense and crazy about my boyfriend right now, but I know that I'm happy with him. Being intense and crazy was not the greatest, there were very high points but very low points in the relationship as well. With my current boyfriend, we're generally just always happy together and we don't fight (whereas I would fight all the time with my best friend...but when we weren't fighting...it was wonderful) so I currently don't know which is the better relationship. I certainly know my current relationship is healthier for me but I don't know if I'm suppossed to feel those crazy, intense feelings for my current boyfriend or not...
 
#12
Sure have, and even though things didn't work out, i am blessed that i can still call him one of my best friends.

it's how the two of you make the relationship...my only advice is not to put your friends in the middle, your relationship is b/w you and your bf, not anyone else.

And yeah, I think you should definitely go for it, b/c as it was mentioned already, you will always wonder what if....
 
#14
yes, but it didnt work that well.

well, me and him are absolutely just fine. I mean, the situation/circle between me and him are just not the same again. We used to be friends, a very good friends, and we are having this small group with this people, and suddenly when our group went to Bali, i felt i fall for him. And apparantly he has the same feeling towards me. the thing is, all other people surround us begin to act weird. One of my ex friend ( a girl) stop talkin to us, and even spare bad gossips toward my college mates. I dont know what happened, but it just seems that all of our surrounding are begin to feel weird if i and b/f were there. they slowly separate their life from me.
Sometimes i feel so sad because of this.

I also dont want to be a downer, but i just want to give you illustration, do you have any other friends surround you? i mean do you guys have the same friends with you? coz if you do, if you want to pursuit him, try your best to keep this only for your both. I dont know, i just have this conclusion that sometimes people dont like to see their (used to be) friend dating their other friend at the same group.
 
#15
anniebobannie said:
:crybaby:This reminds me of my past relationship with my best friend!!! We were best friends and then somehow ended up falling for each other, he asked me out, and I've never felt so deeply for anyone. I feel like I can confidently say that I truly loved him (and love is a big thing to me) and when we broke up...it was a very messy breakup due to the fact we were so close before and we had the same circle of friends. The circle actually excommunicated me (instead of the other way around). But yes, I feel that he was my first love, and it was intense and crazy and I honestly thought I was going to end up marrying him...but then things came up.

And I don't know. I don't feel so intense and crazy about my boyfriend right now, but I know that I'm happy with him. Being intense and crazy was not the greatest, there were very high points but very low points in the relationship as well. With my current boyfriend, we're generally just always happy together and we don't fight (whereas I would fight all the time with my best friend...but when we weren't fighting...it was wonderful) so I currently don't know which is the better relationship. I certainly know my current relationship is healthier for me but I don't know if I'm suppossed to feel those crazy, intense feelings for my current boyfriend or not...
Click to expand...


i think you should.... i mean, nothin wrong with your relationship right now, but yes i think you should feel crazy and those intense feeling for him.
 
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