He wont go for counseling. I mentioned it a lot of times. He thinks its shameful..
Had a big fight with my husband
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He wont go for counseling. I mentioned it a lot of times. He thinks its shameful..
Oohh... the stereotypical Chinese man who thinks he's always right due to their egotistic personality?!ush:
Yes! His ego is bigger than the whole Singapore!
I'm sorry to hear about your fight. I hope things work out for you. But I know the type. Dated one of those. My first b-friend came here from the Philippines. He was raised and brought up the old school way. I'm pretty much Americanized so we clashed. Fortunately we're not together anymore. Maybe you really need to talk to him after things are cool with him. Let him know how you feel and how hurtful those things are to hear. Since I'm sure he's always been this way, his personality is probably something that you can't change. But maybe he'll hear you better if you guys aren't yelling at each other when you tell him how you feel.
ITA.
Completely out of order - particularly threatening to fight you for your daughter, just to make you miserable!
I can forgive a lot, but if my partner said that to me and I thought he meant it, I don't know that I could ever forgive him.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Does he really?
Well, I think using ones daughter as a weapon against ones wife is about as shameful as one can get.
If he's so prone to shame, maybe he should be ashamed about that, instead?
hi dear, seems like there are greater problems underneathe. Doesn't feel normal that the 'D' word came up just because he couldn't find a credit card.
hope u have a good talk with your hubby.
**hugs**
hope u have a good talk with your hubby.
**hugs**
Im sorry to hear this
But its such an immature thing if he divorces you just because of He left his card thingie.. And would you think it would be a great idea saying sorry to him even though you know deep inside it wasnt your mistake after all? Its his responsibility to keep his stuffs properly in place, so why blame you?
So...threatening to divorce you and take your child away simply cause you didn't put his card in his wallet. Very classy..and mature.
After reading your responses here, I don't think there are any other underlying issues save the fact that he's an egotistical, immature, manipulative man. Whenever you don't do as he says/asks, he threatens you with these outrageous and over the top actions in order to keep you in place. My ego is probably on par with his, but that certainly doesn't give me an excuse to treat the woman that I love, like $hit, nor the excuse to act like a 10 year old not getting his way. It's like 5th grade when you got mad at your friends and you told them you weren't going to play with them at recess anymore. And he says counseling is shameful. Grow up! and that goes for you too as it seems like you allow him to treat you like this. Saying you're sorry when something is clearly not your fault? Uncalled for. You need to stand up for yourself, and speak your opinion when you truly feel valid feelings of correctness.
After reading your responses here, I don't think there are any other underlying issues save the fact that he's an egotistical, immature, manipulative man. Whenever you don't do as he says/asks, he threatens you with these outrageous and over the top actions in order to keep you in place. My ego is probably on par with his, but that certainly doesn't give me an excuse to treat the woman that I love, like $hit, nor the excuse to act like a 10 year old not getting his way. It's like 5th grade when you got mad at your friends and you told them you weren't going to play with them at recess anymore. And he says counseling is shameful. Grow up! and that goes for you too as it seems like you allow him to treat you like this. Saying you're sorry when something is clearly not your fault? Uncalled for. You need to stand up for yourself, and speak your opinion when you truly feel valid feelings of correctness.
I'm so sorry this happened. Hope you are feeling better.
I understand the whole Chinese man ego thing. But now we are in 2007, you have to stand up for yourself, woman!!! Especially for the sake of your daughter, you have to!! Otherwise whatever he's doing to you, he's gonna do it to your daughter -- making her think that everything is her fault and she's worthless.
Also, you are giving your daughter a wrong message -- it's ok to accept a man's abuse. Even though the Chinese man ego thing has a long history and very difficult to stop, but we, as women, have to do our best to try. Otherwise, it's just gonna help the continuance of the male ego and the suffering of our sisters and daughters!!
I'm sorry that I sound harsh, especially at this difficult time of yours. But I really mean well. If you love your daughter, which I'm so sure you do, you have to do something.
Take care!
I understand the whole Chinese man ego thing. But now we are in 2007, you have to stand up for yourself, woman!!! Especially for the sake of your daughter, you have to!! Otherwise whatever he's doing to you, he's gonna do it to your daughter -- making her think that everything is her fault and she's worthless.
Also, you are giving your daughter a wrong message -- it's ok to accept a man's abuse. Even though the Chinese man ego thing has a long history and very difficult to stop, but we, as women, have to do our best to try. Otherwise, it's just gonna help the continuance of the male ego and the suffering of our sisters and daughters!!
I'm sorry that I sound harsh, especially at this difficult time of yours. But I really mean well. If you love your daughter, which I'm so sure you do, you have to do something.
Take care!
Hi..Im so sorry you are going through this right now. I know what it's like to have a stubborn DH (and me) as well. I think he used the kids against you because he knew that would definently hit a nerve. I know it's wrong, but when I fight badly with my DH I always pull that. So it's not just a man thing, it's more of a power thing. I am finally working on my issues and I hope that maybe you can get your DH to open up as to why this fight escalated from just a card thing to divorce. It usually means that there is something deeper going on. Good luck sweetie and if you need our help we're still here!
LOL.... My DH will sometimes go without eating because he doesnt want to cook for himself. (His mother taught him and he use to cook for her!
) anyways, because husbands somehow think that once they get married they are entitled to a slave and to do evrey little damn thing for them. Like you said, he should have opened up his own wallet and checked himself. That's not your job. (Just like it's not my job to feed my DH when im trying to study and he is just sitting in front of the TV not doing anything...)