Guilt sucks!

ichelle

ichelle

O.G.
Jan 22, 2007
2,385
13
#1
First of all, I am absolutely thrilled and proud to own/carry my LV pieces--they are to die for and worth every cent. And this forum has such a great group of people to share my excitement with. So thank you.

However, what irks me are my folks's comments. They were both brought up in poverty and until now, even though I think they are very well off, they are still very tight with their $. That's just the way they are. They want every cent they have to be "saved," and look down on frivolous spending.

That said, I am having a hard time carrying my LV bags when I'm around them. All the put-downs I've had to take are pretty rough. They think I'm incredibly foolish for spoiling myself and spending my money on LV; they would rather have me "save" it, the way they do. Save save save. Then they make comments like, "Do you ever see me spend that kind of money on myself? No!" :yucky: Guilt trips like that really suck. I envy those who can go on shopping trips w/their mom (or dad) and not have a care in the world.

However, all that saving isn't going to make you happy, you know? I know they're not happy. Sure it'd be nice to have some for a rainy day but I like to work hard to play hard, life's too short! It's my money, I spend it how I like and on what makes me happy, and I do have a "Rainy Day" fund as well btw. No doubt, I love my folks. But our concepts of finances and how money should be managed are night and day. It's frustrating.

But I'm so happy with my LV's! Ain't no chance in hell I'm taking these back! :yes:

That's all. Just wanted to vent...thanks for listening...
 
#2
aww, ichelle i can so relate to your feelings >>>>hugs<<<<, my family are always save save save, when ever they c me w/LV or Chanel, they just make this face and tell me 'you've been Americanized!'(i am Asian), grrr it's not like i max out cc, or i don't have any financial plans. what's wrong to reward ourself from all the hardwork?
 
#3
I agree with you guys, but thankfully my parents arent too bad they dont lecture or patronize, actually my mom is like me but not my dad lol but goos luck guys and wear your bags proudly, you deserve it:smile:!
 
#4
My mom has a heart attack when I buy any type of expensive bag. She says you know those bags were made for women who have a lot of money but she loved my damier speedy & perfo scarf. She was :drool: over it. It felt good that I was actually able to bond with her over a bag!
 
#5
I see it this way, if you can afford it then go for it. You only live once. Savings is good and all but you can't take your $$ when you when you're gone. What's the point of making money when you can't spend it?? Sure, jset aside a little bit for them rainy days, but if you have extra... buy what you like!! Just my opinions, that's all.
 
#6
It's completely do-able to do both! Save & spend! All about balance...
My parents would likely 'frown' upon my spending the amount I do on some items. But, one, I don't share it with them because at my age and stage in life, it's really none of their concern (respectfully meant) and two, they would never feel it was w/in their rights to make a comment on my (and dh's) financial choices.
But...I understand your desire to 'go shopping w/mom' and bond w/her in that way. I would love that too and think it's wonderful for those here that have that relationship w/theirs.
 
#7
My parents were all talk until the reaped the benefits of my "hand me downs" -- now they search my closet asking if I am going to "get rid of this".
 
#8
How are they familiar with luxury brands if they are frugal? In other words, can they ID a damier piece on sight without being told what it is and what the price point is? I'm not suggesting you lie if they ASK you what they cost, but you could just evade the question or stretch the truth a little!

I just don't tell my mom what something costs. She doesn't need to know!
 
#9
Before tax dollars and after tax dollars are very different venues. It's difficult if not impossible for working folks to save huge amounts with after tax dollars. IMO that is for making your life pleasureable, because your life is temporary. Before tax dollars can be invested in mortgages, stocks, whatever, but that is what will make you money. It's a different world now than when your parents grew up. This is my opinion, but the financial world has changed and old ways of thinking just don't apply anymore...

I love the LV cause it's about my life right now. When I'm gone (when the pandemic strikes haha); it's all not gonna amount to a hill of beans... I try to take it lightly....

nice to have parents, I'm an orphan.... lol....
 
#10
so, be happy. spend your money the way you want.
donate to charity, if it will make you feel good and offset the guilt! i do, but only b/c i have a heart for certain ministries. God calls us to our own destinations. do what makes you feel good. you are not out spending other people's money.
 
#11
Clake76 said:
My parents were all talk until the reaped the benefits of my "hand me downs" -- now they search my closet asking if I am going to "get rid of this".
Click to expand...
Your posts always make me chuckle! (I'm very visual...I have this minds-eye pic of your folks all hunched over sortin' through your closet)
 
#15
hi icelle,
yeah....family dynamics...I suppose they are trying to protect you in some way because they love you.......
...maybe next time they do this guilt trip stuff, tell them you love them because you do.

("thank for your interest in my handbag, I am so lucky to have parents like you and beautiful handbags, I Love You both")

xxoxoxo
 
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