"Emotionless," Stoic Significant Others

IntlSet

Bonjour!
Jan 29, 2006
12,370
56
I read so many threads here about.... ahem.... very vocal husbands and boyfriends. My boyfriend is so not like that! In fact, I often worry that he's unhappy/pissed/annoyed and I'd never know it! He's very, very, very stoic about everything. He betrays almost no emotions about anything (although he's very loving, supportive, etc.). I sometimes laugh over the idea that one day he would up and leave me, leaving only a laundry-list of complaints that I never knew he would have.

Are any of your SOs stoics, too?
 

katheryn

O.G.
Jul 19, 2006
1,019
41
Er, well, I AM the stoic SO. My boyfriend doesn't like it for the same reasons you mentioned. I explained to him that it isn't that I don't tell him about the things that bother me, but rather that not many things bother me! If he does something that bothers me (rare) I do let him know. He and his last girlfriend argued all the time, so I can imagine it was quite a change for him.
 

jillybean307

Wanderlust
O.G.
Mar 9, 2006
3,960
7
My BF is definitely stoic. I don't think I could handle an emotional guy. I had a male teacher in high school cry during class, and it made me super uncomfortable. I couldn't put up with that on a regular basis.
 

EmilyK

Somewhat in control
Jan 7, 2007
2,393
0
All my boyfriends have been incredibly emotional - some of them even more emotional than me.

My current BF is probably the most emotional of the bunch. He cries everytime he picked me up or drops me off at the airport (we have a long distance relationship going atm) and once he even burst into tears totally out of the blue the day before I left to come back to Hawaii because he said he knew he was going to miss me so much. Sometimes when we watch documentaries on TV - particularly involving war and/or children - he tears up.

I like it, though. It's such a contrast because he's very masculine in every other way... just not with me or when we're together... especially alone together.

OMG - the cutest was when he dropped me off at the airport a couple months ago and went into work afterwards. His boss stopped him to talk to him, and I came up in the conversation. BF totally broke down in front of his boss because he was so sad about my leaving... said they both ran to their respective offices and never spoke of it. ROFL. Besides that event, he's typically a stoic in front of his coworkers/people he doesn't know well... unless I come up, apparently.

I guess I'm rather used to it because the men in my family are quite emotional. My Dad and his brothers (all big, burly guys) always cry when they have to say goodbye to each other after they have a reunion, etc.

Of course it goes the other way(s), too. BF can get very angry, and I know it. When he's happy, it's very noticeable... as Tink said, he wears his emotions on his sleeve with me.
 

Neeya

O.G.
Jan 2, 2007
1,593
13
A guy I once dated in High School (now my best friend!) is like that. He just isn't an emotional person in any way. It took him YEARS to have the confidence to confide in me regarding his SO, his life matters, etc. I'm glad he's opened up, but he's still pretty much emotion-less (one of the major reasons we only dated for 2 weeks, hah). My SO is the complete opposite, lol, he's over-emotional at times, in fact!
 

lara0112

MEMBER
O.G.
Dec 11, 2006
7,543
1,259
oh, hubby can go either way - and let me tell you that isn't easy, cause you just never know what to expect. he is my own little kinder surprise...

he can be very emotional and then there are times where he is stoic - or incidents I should say. come to think of it, often it is me trying to get the emotion out of him.. but yeah, it can go either way. but one thing is for sure - i do know his list of complaints!
 

caxe

-+-+-+-+-+-
O.G.
Mar 31, 2007
4,409
5
My BF is a typical guy. Unemotional, untalkative. LOL. He pretty much just sits there, unless the room is crumbling around him. A lot of times he doesn't respond even when spoken to, which makes me think at times that his hearing is going bad. I don't know why he doesn't say a lot or display emotion. Maybe it's because he's retired military or because his wife was and still is a drama queen. Sometimes getting him to talk is like getting ketchup out of a box of cornflakes, but as I'm not that talkative myself at times I don't mind.
 

Roo

member
O.G.
Apr 28, 2006
10,430
38
^^
Mine is a man of few words too, but he does say what needs to be said, when it needs to be said.

He, too, was tramatized by an unhinged ex-wife and it took me literally years to make him understand that sometimes it is OK to argue about things!
 

MandM

Member
Mar 20, 2006
1,848
3
I don't think it sounds like he's repressing his feelings -- he's probably just content and has no complaints:smile:

In my experience, when guys resent something, they find a way to let you know it! I wouldn't be expecting any missing bf and a "laundry list" anytime soon, lol;)
 

sheishollywood

LiveLaughLove
O.G.
Nov 29, 2006
4,375
23
My bf seems stoic at times because he isn't good at conveying his emotions in certain situations. I find it cute in a way.

Same here. It really depends on the situation. But I don't find it very cute! Hahaha.

My boyfriend, most of the time, doesn't find it a big deal to get worked up over but I still would like to know if something is bothering him and not just "throw it under the rug". We had a few bad hits with that because I'm very communicative and sometimes he can be rather held back. Things are being worked out now, but there were times we went on breaks because he had issues that I had no idea about.
 
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