Does the place you live in truly feel like home to you?

Jul 6, 2016
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11,033
I'm an expat and I hate where I live, it's very lonely. I have lived in many places, and I know what it's like to relocate and find a place that feels right. The place I was born also feels right. But the place I live in is not my home, although I have been here for many years. As a result I'm pretty lonely and homesick, although I'm hyperextroverted and I meet with people regularly and try to make even more friends by all sorts of means. It just is a bad fit for me in the country I live in, and I'm starting to be doubtful that no matter how hard I try, it ever will be. I won't stop trying, I'm just less optimistic and hopeful than I was for many years.
What about you? Are you still in your hometown or have you found a hometown that feels like the right place?
 

ChangeMe

Member
Feb 2, 2017
295
142
no, i hate the place where i live it's not for me, different people, i am going to move to another city next month
 
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snow0160

Member
Jul 23, 2012
274
425
I live in stepford suburbs with a bunch of wanna be Nicole Kidmans. Ahhhh! This place lacks diversity and culture to such a significant level. It is beautiful on the outside and sick on the inside.
 
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pixiechic

So thankful.
O.G.
Apr 20, 2006
4,127
114
Lenox & Phipps
I live in the outer suburbs bordering on rural. It's beautiful and peaceful, but incredibly conservative and redneck. Husband and I realized that neither of us feel like we're home, we don't fit in, and we're both bored here. We are both introverts so we have very few friends. In addition, it's too freakin' hot to go outside for most of the year (we are both from colder climates), so we are less active and therefore less fit than we should be.

We are talking about moving to a more blue state where my son (early 20s) lives, but it's >1200 miles away so it would be a huge project. The weather is gorgeous and there are so many active things to do! The main problem there is that salaries are lower and cost of living is higher, so it would be a big lifestyle change. I don't know if that would feel like home either... so many things to consider. We just know that where we are isn't it.
 

kkfiregirl

Member
Dec 30, 2015
3,386
4,734
We lived in the suburbs of Northern California for two years and quickly ran out of there back to NYC. Being in New York City feels like home to me & I will never move, unless it's for a terrific job opportunity in another country.

I love the grittiness of the city [emoji173]️ I am definitely home.

To hopelessbaggirl: I hope tpf brings you a little relief from boredom [emoji4]
 

ccbaggirl89

Member
Mar 26, 2015
7,404
10,653
no, i hate where i live but i stay because i have an excellent job that pays me an insane amount. i'm trapped by my income and look forward to moving someplace eventually where i would feel like home, someplace with open land and nature and no people around for miles. i envision a real country existence on open land. i am in the one of the biggest metro areas in the world and it just disgusts me:sad: my vacations are all to tiny little towns and cities and far away from people, so that is my preferred type of city/'home.':smile:
 

pixiechic

So thankful.
O.G.
Apr 20, 2006
4,127
114
Lenox & Phipps
no, i hate where i live but i stay because i have an excellent job that pays me an insane amount. i'm trapped by my income and look forward to moving someplace eventually where i would feel like home, someplace with open land and nature and no people around for miles.
I am also trapped by the "golden handcuffs." I have a great job and a great salary, and I live in a place with a low cost of living. I have a pretty nice life, I am thankful for it every day, and I feel like I should be happy, but it's just not right. Ahhhh... just the thought of open land and nature makes me feel better.
 

ccbaggirl89

Member
Mar 26, 2015
7,404
10,653
I am also trapped by the "golden handcuffs." I have a great job and a great salary, and I live in a place with a low cost of living. I have a pretty nice life, I am thankful for it every day, and I feel like I should be happy, but it's just not right. Ahhhh... just the thought of open land and nature makes me feel better.
golden handcuffs? never heard that before, but yes... that's my situation too! love that new-to-me phrase!!:smile:
 
Oct 20, 2008
4,172
1,317
manhattan
We lived in the suburbs of Northern California for two years and quickly ran out of there back to NYC. Being in New York City feels like home to me & I will never move, unless it's for a terrific job opportunity in another country.

I love the grittiness of the city [emoji173]️ I am definitely home.
Complete opposite for me. I'm in NYC and I would rather be in the Bay Area. I've stayed much longer than I thought I would.

Where is the grit? Manhattan, at least, is pretty sanitized nowadays -- chock-full of self-centered people. At least in the Bay Area there's room enough to avoid them :lol:
 
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kkfiregirl

Member
Dec 30, 2015
3,386
4,734
Complete opposite for me. I'm in NYC and I would rather be in the Bay Area. I've stayed much longer than I thought I would.

Where is the grit? Manhattan, at least, is pretty sanitized nowadays -- chock-full of self-centered people. At least in the Bay Area there's room enough to avoid them :lol:
I see the 'grittiness' every time I drive through lower manhattan. Chinatown, LES, some parts of soho & let's not forget BK.

I agree, though that some parts of manhattan are sanitized[emoji4]

I hated the Bay Area - after living in NYC, San Francisco felt very provincial.
 
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kkfiregirl

Member
Dec 30, 2015
3,386
4,734
no, i hate where i live but i stay because i have an excellent job that pays me an insane amount. i'm trapped by my income and look forward to moving someplace eventually where i would feel like home, someplace with open land and nature and no people around for miles. i envision a real country existence on open land. i am in the one of the biggest metro areas in the world and it just disgusts me:sad: my vacations are all to tiny little towns and cities and far away from people, so that is my preferred type of city/'home.':smile:
Just curious what an 'insane amount' is. I don't mean the specific numbers, of course, but ballpark [emoji4]
 

Happyhippo

Member
Sep 3, 2016
47
73
I've lived abroad for... uhh... 15 years now I believe. I've been so homesick at times, but every time I've gone back I've also realized that I don't belong there anymore. It's tough not to feel at home where you live, nor where you actually are from. Honestly, it has gotten better though. Having a job I love, learning the language and accepting that I'll always be a little different has helped me a lot, but yes, it's taken a long time to get to a place where I can say it feels at least a bit like home.