I don't consider this gossip. Why is friends commenting an an obvious change to OPs physical appearance considered gossip? If I were to lose my job, get a new car, cut all my hair off, gain 50 pounds - whatever it may be, I would naturally expect my friends and family to take notice and comment on it. It's normal. People do it all the time. Gossip implies malicious intent and it didn't sound to me like her friends were being malicious. Also, the quickest way to stop gossip/speculation/discussion, is by putting it all out there.
Do you tell or not?
- Thread starter MarieG
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I don't consider this gossip. Why is friends commenting an an obvious change to OPs physical appearance considered gossip? If I were to lose my job, get a new car, cut all my hair off, gain 50 pounds - whatever it may be, I would naturally expect my friends and family to take notice and comment on it. It's normal. People do it all the time. Gossip implies malicious intent and it didn't sound to me like her friends were being malicious. Also, the quickest way to stop gossip/speculation/discussion, is by putting it all out there.
I disagree re: the quickest way of ending gossip is by putting it out there. I have witnessed gossip getting much worse after people put the truth out there! One of our senior partners in my firm went on sick leave for 3 months and everyone wondered what he had. He eventually came back and told us that he suffered from depression. That skyrocketed the gossip, ruined his reputation and he eventually left. No one ever looked at him or treated him the same. This situation is obviously a bit different but putting it all out there very often does a lot more harm than keeping a quiet would have done.
I think it's kinda ridiculous to get plastic surgery and expect people to not notice/say anything. Of course it would be rude for a stranger to ask you, but i don't see what's rude about close friends asking. Isn't that the whole point of plastic surgery? to look better and have people notice the nice change? When you physically alter your appearance, it comes with the change that people will notice. It's like if you dye your hair from brown to blonde, of course people are going to comment. I just think the whole notion of keeping plastic surgery 'private' is kind of absurd. It's nothing to be ashamed about and if you really didn't want people to notice then why get it in the first place?
The fine line between discussion between friends and casual gossip is whether they're asking you because they care or are genuinely interested in learning from your experience, or are they asking so they can have the latest deets for tomorrow's lunch with the ladies. Totally frivilous gossip. I do find it a bit malicious if you take a bit of private information and spread it just for others' entertainment and insatiable curiousity, especially since we all know judgement is likely to be passed.
Or, in this case, they could be asking because clearly OPs cup size went from an A to a C. It's not so much about asking as it is just confirming what they already know. It's also a compliment in a sense. OP was not happy with her cup size, she changed it, and her friends noticed the change. Judgement would be passed one way or another, regardless of whether or not it's even discussed. I see absolutely nothing wrong with friends discussing another friends' boob job. It's to be expected, otherwise, why even get plastic surgery in the first place? Obviously, OP cared what other people thought about her cup size or she wouldn't have had the procedure. Why, now, would she expect them not to care or notice? Of course they care and of course they notice. That's what OP wanted, right?
I tend to agree. If I were to change my hair colour, people would comment. Would that be rude because they were commenting on my appearance? Likewise if I lost weight, people would be likely to ask if I'd lost weight. Most people don't go through a BA if they are happy with their appearance, so it is natural that they will look different in clothing and that others will notice. I just think that hiding it is silly.
But if this happened 9 months ago, then why are you even concerned about it now? What's done is done, and it isn't as though this happened yesterday and you can clear it up now. I agree it might be odd to call someone from that group up just to tell them you lied almost a year ago regarding your BA!
^^ It has bothered me ever since but the close (3) people who know have always told me that it's none of anyone's business so I shouldn't worry. I guess I was just interested in hearing the opinion of a bigger group. I have a tendency to care too much about others and get myself worked up about it. Something I am continuously work on 
I did the BA because my hubby and I were getting married and I wanted to look pretty in my dress and sexy in my bikini on our honeymoon. And sexier in the bedroom. I used to wear push ups all the time so it really wasn't about other people around me. They always saw me dressed and wearing a push up anyway
I did the BA because my hubby and I were getting married and I wanted to look pretty in my dress and sexy in my bikini on our honeymoon. And sexier in the bedroom. I used to wear push ups all the time so it really wasn't about other people around me. They always saw me dressed and wearing a push up anyway
^^ It has bothered me ever since but the close (3) people who know have always told me that it's none of anyone's business so I shouldn't worry. I guess I was just interested in hearing the opinion of a bigger group. I have a tendency to care too much about others and get myself worked up about it. Something I am continuously work on
I did the BA because my hubby and I were getting married and I wanted to look pretty in my dress and sexy in my bikini on our honeymoon. And sexier in the bedroom. I used to wear push ups all the time so it really wasn't about other people around me. They always saw me dressed and wearing a push up anyway
If push-ups looked the same as real boobs, then no one would need to get boob jobs
Also, I get that you did this for yourself, but you can't deny the fact that you wouldn't have needed to have surgery to make yourself feel better, if those around you hadn't made you feel that way. It's all intertwined.
Anyways, just let some more time go by and this will probably all just disappear. Your friends will get used to the "new" you and forget about your old appearance.
I personally feel that you don't owe an explanation to anyone and you should only divulge if you feel comfortable doing so. Only small-minded people feel the need to comment on what others are doing with their own lives. You can't stop people from talking but you sure can ignore their comments
I personally feel that you don't owe an explanation to anyone and you should only divulge if you feel comfortable doing so. Only small-minded people feel the need to comment on what others are doing with their own lives. You can't stop people from talking but you sure can ignore their comments
I had to laugh about the irony here - you are commenting about how only small-minded people comment on the lives of others and then you have an avatar picture of a woman doing just that:lolots:
I realize that the avatar is just a joke, but I just thought it was amusing considering the topic of this thread - or maybe I just have a weird sense of humor
I say this from a place of never having had plastic surgery, but I don't really understand the feeling to want to keep it private or secret. that to me sends the message that there is some embarrassment or shame in what you've done, even if you don't feel those things.
I don't think you need to show it off (I've known people with new fake boobs who walk around in bikini tops and don't shut up about it...), but I see no need to lie. plus, if you're uncomfortable with the idea of people talking/gossiping about it, you have to realize they are only going to talk more if you don't admit it. if they ask and you say yes, the topic is closed. if they ask and you lie, they'll gossip forever about it.
but like I said, I've never had plastic surgery so perhaps I'm not very sensitive to what it's like.
this is exactly my point. I thought the idea of having a breast augmentation is make yourself feel better about your body. so you should be proud of it. if someone asks, hold your head up high and answer, hell yes, and don't I look fabulous??
Couldn't have said it better myself.
I think that's a great way to respond.
After having been around a fair number of people who have gotten work done but try to be very hush hush about it I just don't get it. All that happens is someone who knows eventually starts talking (no one ever keeps it a secret no matter how much they promise) and the gossip gets worse. The person who had the work done looks like they are hiding it or embarrassed and it adds fuel to the fire. The people, ime, who own up to it "yea I did it, best thing I ever did," keep the gossip at bay and even if there is gossip it's usually positive. I dunno, I guess the more confident you are in what you've had done the better it seems. But having said that, who really gives a crap what everyone thinks. If you truly did this for you then who cares--tell who you want to tell and ignore the rest. But I personally, would own it. Then again, I haven't had work done so I don't understand the feelings of wanting to hide it. Perhaps if I had work done I would be handling it the same way and everything I just said would go out the window
^^ Lol yeah who knows- you might be surprised Thanks for your input! I've decided to keep it to myself and between my hubby and my 2 best friends. The rest of them can talk whatever they want. I hope my boobs get boring eventually and that they move on to something else 
Thanks for your input! I've decided to keep it to myself and between my hubby and my 2 best friends. The rest of them can talk whatever they want. I hope my boobs get boring eventually and that they move on to something else