Don't feel bad at all- everyone has their things. Unless your paying my bills and taking care of me you have no say or to put me down.
Do ever feel ashamed of buying expensive bags?
- Thread starter verychic555
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It's a "sin" for her to judge your finances. I used to feel bad and even switch out purses depending on whom I would be seeing that day. Now I wear the handbag I want, I feel guilty NOT wearing my high end bag (rainy days). Look at it differently. They are jealous people. If she really could afford it, she'd get it. If she makes the decision not to, then it's on her and fighting her own demons. She is jealous of those who actually pulled the trigger to get the bag they want. I wouldn't rub it in her face but I would definitely use my bag. My bag was not purchased to be hidden in my closet. If the topic arises about how can you afford it or what a waste of money, I would bring up it costs the same as those expensive trips you chose to go on when you were my age. Some people waste money on a memory versus something I can use daily.
I have responded back before that:
1. It makes me happy. Does your bag make you happy?
2. Yes it is a lot of money. It was a gift from my husband for our anniversary, and everytime I see it I think of him and how he chose it himself.
3. It costs about the same as your Nike shoe collection. This usually shuts them up. It is all perspective. 12 years ago I used to own 14 Coach bags in my collection because I was obsessed with handbags and quality. I loved it because everyone and their momma had one. Now, I don't want what everyone else has and my tastes in bags have aged like good wine! I'm still obsessed though, can't change that. My husband confessed he bought me the LV to stop my obsession in TPF. He exclaimed, "why are you constantly on there, everyday?! The purse is right here!" Hahahaha
I have responded back before that:
1. It makes me happy. Does your bag make you happy?
2. Yes it is a lot of money. It was a gift from my husband for our anniversary, and everytime I see it I think of him and how he chose it himself.
3. It costs about the same as your Nike shoe collection. This usually shuts them up. It is all perspective. 12 years ago I used to own 14 Coach bags in my collection because I was obsessed with handbags and quality. I loved it because everyone and their momma had one. Now, I don't want what everyone else has and my tastes in bags have aged like good wine! I'm still obsessed though, can't change that. My husband confessed he bought me the LV to stop my obsession in TPF. He exclaimed, "why are you constantly on there, everyday?! The purse is right here!" Hahahaha
She didn't know you are buying designer items as you said then she is not judging you . You are judging yourself . And later you comments about how when she used to go on pricy vacation when she was young , you started judging her !
She just made a comment not knowing you spent those money , it's a innocent mistake .
Just be responsible with your own money , be kind to others and kind to yourself!
She just made a comment not knowing you spent those money , it's a innocent mistake .
Just be responsible with your own money , be kind to others and kind to yourself!
I get what you are trying to say. And it is true. It is just that I constantly feel attacked by her. She constantly comments on our lifestyle. We don't live above our means, but we do indulge on occasions. she in fact asked my husband behind my back why he bought me a jacket that was $200!!!! And it was originally $1000!!! She considered it too expensive. Yet she alwsys buys coach and Michael Kors. Her son in law bought her daughter (his wife) clothes for over $600 on a trip, yet she considered $200 expensive for me. In her eyes we are always wrong if we spend a little, but she does it "the right way". She might not know about the bags, but she knows about other purchases that she didn't approve of. That is when I started frankly looking for big spending in her life. Maybe to have something to "defend" myself with if she openly attackes me, which never happens. It is always hidden attacks. The handbag incident may have been in her mind a way of showing us how NOT to spend. Only this time she doesn't know that I actually did spend that much on bags. Like I said I am reponsible with my money, it is just that I probably felt attacked again by her, even if she didn't know.
Just because she says it or thinks it doesn't mean it's true. People can be weird about things and especially if it is someone close to us, we take their opinion close to heart. I would just chalk it up to, oh, she just says that stuff.
I have noticed that the people who have no stake in your financial life are usually the most vocal in their opinions, but if she isn't your accountant, or your spouse, then why should her opinion matter? She seems to want to make you feel bad, which might mean that she is a little miserable herself because misery loves company. Rise above it, be proud of what you have earned and accomplished and let her opinions be just her opinions.
If she keeps on asking how much everything costs, I wouldnt answer her anymore and just evade the question.
I have noticed that the people who have no stake in your financial life are usually the most vocal in their opinions, but if she isn't your accountant, or your spouse, then why should her opinion matter? She seems to want to make you feel bad, which might mean that she is a little miserable herself because misery loves company. Rise above it, be proud of what you have earned and accomplished and let her opinions be just her opinions.
If she keeps on asking how much everything costs, I wouldnt answer her anymore and just evade the question.
That's ridiculous of her. Please keep in mind she's either doing this because she's jealous or SHE (or her children, just sayin') made these errors when she was younger. Often people criticize when it's their flaw, not yours.
She doesn't earn YOUR paychecks or pay your bills, so quite frankly, it's none of her business. The best revenge is happiness.
No, I don't feel ashamed. Why should I? I work hard, make an honest salary, and of course I am going to spend money on myself! Those who try to make you feel ashamed should look towards themselves, maybe they are projecting their own regrets and jealousy on how they deal with money.
I see comments like that all over You tube where pepole show their handbag collections. I don't get it. I'm not running around telling people to live in a condo instead of a house or to sell their car and take the train in order to save money to donate to the less fortunate. So I don't see what gives someone the right to tell me to donate my money instead of getting something I like?
Absolutely not! Does the wind feel ashamed for blowing? Live YOUR best life!