I have never felt shame about purchasing expensive handbags.....my mom stated purchasing them for me when I was around 12. So I've been rocking bags for almost 30 years, so everyone that knows me knows Missie is going to have a bag. She is just jealous imo and you have to overlook her.....also I have learned to not answer when family ask me the prices....I just over talk them....rude yep I know just like it's rude to ask me what I paid for something.
Do ever feel ashamed of buying expensive bags?
- Thread starter verychic555
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"Dingbat" is a fantastic word.
Describes so much, for so many circumstances.
Thanks for reminding me of its greatness.
Must use this word more.
Haha +1
Love this! That is it exactly "someone else feels uncomfortable about my expensive handbag". Buy what you like, it's your money!!
So, she thinks hungry people want these handbags?
Or she plans to give away $1000 to the poor?
Or, does she plan to buy a cheaper handbag, then volunteer in a soup kitchen or delivering meals to the needy?
Maybe the greater sin is calling them, "all those poor hungry people"--
Instead of sitting together on patch of dirty concrete, handing over a sandwich & asking someone's name?
It is possible to do this, even wearing a high-end bag.
No, not ashamed.
Does she walk around parking lots lecturing the owners of BMWs and Mercs and Acuras? Does she visit fancy neighborhoods in expensive cities and hector the beautiful people coming out of their luxury high rise or their restored brownstone? You know, she should REALLY be stationing herself outside the entrance to her nearest high-end department store and warning customers as they enter that they'll burn in hell for their sinful spendthrift ways.
She sounds like a simply delightful person.
Yes!!! Completely agree with allof you. You nailed it!
The line of reasoning of the OP's friend that people shouldn't buy a luxury bag because people are in need would ultimately mean that anything purchased beyond a need is "immoral".
So that woman should carry her things in a plain burlap sack, never own a car, get all her books from the library, not have cable or satellite, not own a cell phone and live in the smallest, most serviceable of dwellings - perhaps in communal living sharing amenities like bathrooms and kitchens.
But, I'm going to bet she doesn't live the life I described. And I bet she wouldn't eat a daily simple meal of rice and beans and give the extra to charity. For that matter she better not be overweight because that means she ate an excess of food and could have given those funds to those in need. Is she covering her grey? Getting a manicure? Then is her vanity more important than others???
See how this can go. We can all attack / draw lines / point at others. And it starts to sound a weird mix of goofy, bitter and nasty.
Seems that it would be best for us all to clean up our own houses to make sure we are in alignment with what we want to spout before we cast a critical eye at others. That will keep us all veeeeery busy.
And yes, THIS! My ex "best friend" used to do this. I had to wake up to the jealousy. I didn't need this in my life.
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I'm confused here because you clearly state that "she doesn't know that I own some designer handbags..." so I'm wondering why she "looks down on you"? If it's for another reason that is too personal then I apologize for prying but just trying to figure this out.
Also, this sounds like a rather delicate dynamic as it's with a close relative that you really care for so (to me anyway) that would change how I would deal with her and what I would say so as to preserve some closeness...but that's just me.
Don't worry about it. Actually yes, there are a lot of personal issues that I prefer not to discuss but she does look down on me due to those reasons. She buys designer and talks about designer but shames anything above what she thinks is OK. And you are right she is a close relative, but even those can really irritate you to the point that you need to vent to someone.
I understand and the fact is that people make all kinds of strange comments about things that don't make sense to us. It's can be especially troubling if it comes from a relative because I, for one, would hate to think that the same blood runs through us if they're a bit (or a lot) wacky!
And let's face it, we all have that "invisible" line financially that we just won't cross for whatever reason. I prefer to keep that line private but some people can't help but say what's on their mind, whether anyone wants to hear it or not.
It's good to learn to have filters at an early age and practice, practice, practice.:giggles:
We should print this onto t-shirts.
But someone undoubtedly would say it offends him/her.
Or ask definition of, "filter."
Which might force me to get stabby.
:lolots::lolots:We should print this onto t-shirts.
But someone undoubtedly would say it offends him/her.
Or ask definition of, "filter."
Which might force me to get stabby.
I hate it when I'm forced to get "stabby"!!
However I love the idea of the t-shirts......hmmmmm
no - why would I feel shameful. No one is to judge what I do when I work hard to pay for what I can afford.
Don't let her unpleasant words get to you. Try staying away from her if her negative words / how she looks down on you bother you...
Don't let her unpleasant words get to you. Try staying away from her if her negative words / how she looks down on you bother you...
There's always someone poorer and always someone richer than us so it's pointless to try to out-frugal or out-spend someone. I don't want to speculate about what her issues might be but I'd say that while it's judgmental for her to apply her standards to other people, I'm also uncomfortable with just shrugging it off as a justification for spending whatever I want.
Maybe if you are sensitive to these sort of comments it could be an indicator that you yourself feel guilty about your spending. If she's just being rude, then ignore her, but if there's some part of you that may actually have doubts, then I think it's also fair to consider whether you do want to spend your money in other ways. If the answer is no, then more power to you, but I don't think it's a bad thing to critically think about whether those kinds of criticisms have a point aside from the intentions of the rude person.
Maybe if you are sensitive to these sort of comments it could be an indicator that you yourself feel guilty about your spending. If she's just being rude, then ignore her, but if there's some part of you that may actually have doubts, then I think it's also fair to consider whether you do want to spend your money in other ways. If the answer is no, then more power to you, but I don't think it's a bad thing to critically think about whether those kinds of criticisms have a point aside from the intentions of the rude person.
My reply to her would be something like: "You're right. I don't want to go to he'll. It's a terrible place, full of judgmental, jealous and bitter people. Now lighten up and get a life!"
My comment to you: why do you let her make you feel guilty or bad? What's in it for you?
My comment to you: why do you let her make you feel guilty or bad? What's in it for you?
I have one of those (different issues). I have become oblivious to her comments. I just take them as information. I always make my own decisions regardless of her judgments. She knows that. Consequently we don't talk much, but we are always there for each other if we need something. No hard feelings. I don't take her comments personally even if they may be intended to hurt me.
Something I learned a long time ago: "You don't need THEIR approval."
Part of it could be the dynamic of that particular relationship (in every family) IYKWIM.
The best revenge is to know what you want and to feel comfortable with your own decisions.
I have one of those (different issues). I have become oblivious to her comments. I just take them as information. I always make my own decisions regardless of her judgments. She knows that. Consequently we don't talk much, but we are always there for each other if we need something. No hard feelings. I don't take her comments personally even if they may be intended to hurt me.
Something I learned a long time ago: "You don't need THEIR approval."
Part of it could be the dynamic of that particular relationship (in every family) IYKWIM.
The best revenge is to know what you want and to feel comfortable with your own decisions.
Absolutely correct! We really don't need their approval. It is just that sometimes you get fed up of hearing their negativity especially if it is the type that is not obvious but cleverly disguised by "advice". Buying expensive things doesn't mean we have carefree lives. Just like Amazona said life may give you lemons, but sometimes gives you sugar too!
