I don't even wear my wedding ring much because I keep whacking the stone on things, I've knocked it loose three times, and it's not even that big. I wear my anniversary band. When I first got married, there's no way I would have gotten "just" a band (oh, it's got diamonds, just lots of little ones). Now I'm older and wiser. I also didn't realize how much time I would spend pushing a $*^%(#)* grocery cart around -- those things are tough on jewelry.
cz versus the real deal...
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I feel pretty strongly about this one ... the original purpose of the diamond engagement ring was for the diamond to be a symbol of the man's financial prosperity, and to assure the woman's family that he would be able to take care of her, when he was marrying her and she would be leaving her father's house. That's why people are more "impressed" by large diamonds - it show's off the wealth of the couple.
These days, of course, most women are financially independent, so it's not like the guy has to show her dad that he can take care of her, since she was probably taking care of herself before they got engaged.
However, I am traditional, so I still see it as a symbol of the man's commitment to his wife by making a financial sacrifice to get her something of value. When we went diamond shopping, my husband was determined to spend as least two months salary, because that's what he felt that I "deserved."
That's not to say that I think a woman needs any particular size diamond - but it needs to be real, and her fiance should have saved for the purchase - I think 2 months salary is a good guideline. If that means that she's getting a real .25 carat diamond because that's what his budget can afford, then she should wear it with pride.
I know someone who's fiance drives a $60,000 car & spends $ like it's water on himself, but she's walking around with a 3 carat CZ on her finger that she's trying to pass off as a real diamond (she knows it isn't). My husband was disgusted when her fiance bought her that - he said that it showed a real lack of commitment to her - if he were really serious about the relationship, he would have either bought her a smaller, real diamond, or sold the fancy car to buy her the bigger diamond that he wanted everyone to "think" he had bought.
Maybe I have a more old-fashioned view of this, but I see the diamond engagement ring as a symbol. I think it's totally cool if you don't buy into it, though - I have lots of friends who just wear wedding bands, because they don't like the whole connotation of the couple's wealth being displayed on her finger - but I love diamonds too much to be that down to earth!
I completely understand what you are saying. And you said it VERY well might I add.
And I agree to a certain extent. I understand the logic behind the tradition of diamonds and "showing" that you can finacially take care of your future wife.
However if I were put in the situation where I had to choose a way for a man to show he can "provide" for me I would rather him spend the $$ on a house, which is something that provides for the both of us, rather than a diamond that just I wear. I would take cz in that situation ANY DAY.
My ring is real, but NOT big AT ALL. I told my fh that I would be pissed if he spent too much $ on my ring, because I prefered that we spend our money on ourselves and things that we need as a couple.
I would not pick a CZ but that is because I would not choose the diamond either. Call me crazy but I love colored gemstones and I would rather have a 4 carat brilliant cut Montana blue sapphire set in platinum with pave diamond accents. I prefer diamonds as accents to colored stones. But that's just my cup of (green) tea :o)
Diana
Diana
OOhhh! Im a fan of colored gemstones too! Theyre beautiful!!! I would choose those if I cant have a diamond but never a CZ
I don't understand why some say it is so tacky to have a cz engagement ring. Real deal or not, it symbolizes someone's eternal love and everlasting commitment to the other person. In my mind, no symbol of love is too tacky if there is true sincerity and love behind it.
Hmmm? For engagement or gift from a man?!: Diamonds and/or sapphires, rubies, emeralds only, please.
For my own shopping and goofing around? Both please. A 5ct Emerald Cut Diamond ring and a 5ct. stunt double exact copy in Cubic Zirconia.
I'd wear either ring, depending on the day/mood.
Maybe, I'd even tell 'inquiring minds' that the copy cz was real and tell that the real diamond was a cubic zirc. LOL!
For my own shopping and goofing around? Both please. A 5ct Emerald Cut Diamond ring and a 5ct. stunt double exact copy in Cubic Zirconia.
I'd wear either ring, depending on the day/mood.
Maybe, I'd even tell 'inquiring minds' that the copy cz was real and tell that the real diamond was a cubic zirc. LOL!
Hello Kitty made a GREAT point about the house purchase - I think it's much smarter to put money toward something that is going to be of real value to the relationship and marriage, and you will both enjoy that house far more than a piece of jewelry! 
I also agree with NYDiana about the colored gemstones - I was married for the first time right out of college, and as my ex couldn't afford a diamond, I had a beautiful tanzanite ring that I designed, and got so many compliments on. It was what he could afford at the time, so I think it was much more appropriate than him blowing everything on a diamond that would have put our financial future on the rocks.
Regarding LaBoheme's question, I think CZs are great for fun jewelry, and stuff you buy for yourself, but for an engagement ring from your guy, I'd still want a real stone.
I also agree with NYDiana about the colored gemstones - I was married for the first time right out of college, and as my ex couldn't afford a diamond, I had a beautiful tanzanite ring that I designed, and got so many compliments on. It was what he could afford at the time, so I think it was much more appropriate than him blowing everything on a diamond that would have put our financial future on the rocks.
Regarding LaBoheme's question, I think CZs are great for fun jewelry, and stuff you buy for yourself, but for an engagement ring from your guy, I'd still want a real stone.
for engagement ring. i'd definitely go for real diamond!
i like fashionable designed CZs too. But then again, if i were to choose between a real diamond and a CZ. i'd choose the real diamond
i like fashionable designed CZs too. But then again, if i were to choose between a real diamond and a CZ. i'd choose the real diamond
This is one of the most brilliant aspects of the deBeers coup - it tapped into the very wide-spread and long-established custom of the bride-price!
In cultures where this custom is still practiced, every young girl hopes for a high bride-price, which not only brings honor to her family, but gives her confirmation that she is special, that as a commodity, she has value. She is such a high quality product that the groom is willing to pay a premium to obtain her.
deBeers managed to tweak this to fit the rapidly changing societies of the west, where the vast majority of young people were now choosing their own marriage partners, with little or no help from mom and dad, and associate bride-price with romantic love - with the diamond being the symbol of how much the the prospective groom loved his sweetheart!
And so today, we see young women who, as you point out, are frequently financially independent, and many of whom may have little or no knowledge of the ancient custom of bride-price, much less any idea how ingrained its essence is in their own cultural values, who sincerely feel that a diamond, and as large and costly as possible, is the engagement ring of choice, and for some, inability or disinclination of the groom to produce such a trinket could be a deal-breaker, and they may say good-bye to the man for whom they have the greater affection in favor of the suitor who promises a ring of the desired price range.
Of course, it would not be a question of them holding out for the highest bidder, rather being pragmatic and realistic about future financial security. Being mature.
And so, even a discussion of diamond versus cz brings us back to that fundamental question: What does marriage mean to you? and reminds us that even the most modern young women, even among a prevailing culture overwhelmingly presenting itself as overwhelmingly all about romance, and romantic love, when it gets down to making that commitment, for many of our most sophisticated and urbane brides-to-be, old ways are best, and nothing will seal the deal like that sparkling affirmation of her value as a commodity: a high bride-price!
This is one of the most brilliant aspects of the deBeers coup - it tapped into the very wide-spread and long-established custom of the bride-price!
In cultures where this custom is still practiced, every young girl hopes for a high bride-price, which not only brings honor to her family, but gives her confirmation that she is special, that as a commodity, she has value. She is such a high quality product that the groom is willing to pay a premium to obtain her.
deBeers managed to tweak this to fit the rapidly changing societies of the west, where the vast majority of young people were now choosing their own marriage partners, with little or no help from mom and dad, and associate bride-price with romantic love - with the diamond being the symbol of how much the the prospective groom loved his sweetheart!
And so today, we see young women who, as you point out, are frequently financially independent, and many of whom may have little or no knowledge of the ancient custom of bride-price, much less any idea how ingrained its essence is in their own cultural values, who sincerely feel that a diamond, and as large and costly as possible, is the engagement ring of choice, and for some, inability or disinclination of the groom to produce such a trinket could be a deal-breaker, and they may say good-bye to the man for whom they have the greater affection in favor of the suitor who promises a ring of the desired price range.
Of course, it would not be a question of them holding out for the highest bidder, rather being pragmatic and realistic about future financial security. Being mature.
And so, even a discussion of diamond versus cz brings us back to that fundamental question: What does marriage mean to you? and reminds us that even the most modern young women, even among a prevailing culture overwhelmingly presenting itself as overwhelmingly all about romance, and romantic love, when it gets down to making that commitment, for many of our most sophisticated and urbane brides-to-be, old ways are best, and nothing will seal the deal like that sparkling affirmation of her value as a commodity: a high bride-price!
*excellent* points!... I'm a jewelry/gem nut and future jeweller(G-d willing) but you are so right Shimma!
I'm with bagshopr, it wouldn't me at all to sport a cz, as long as it's a believable size.
If it's something costume-y like earrings though, the bigger the better!
A ginormous set of cz would be fun to play with in that way...
If it's something costume-y like earrings though, the bigger the better!
A ginormous set of cz would be fun to play with in that way...This is one of the most brilliant aspects of the deBeers coup - it tapped into the very wide-spread and long-established custom of the bride-price!
In cultures where this custom is still practiced, every young girl hopes for a high bride-price, which not only brings honor to her family, but gives her confirmation that she is special, that as a commodity, she has value. She is such a high quality product that the groom is willing to pay a premium to obtain her.
deBeers managed to tweak this to fit the rapidly changing societies of the west, where the vast majority of young people were now choosing their own marriage partners, with little or no help from mom and dad, and associate bride-price with romantic love - with the diamond being the symbol of how much the the prospective groom loved his sweetheart!
And so today, we see young women who, as you point out, are frequently financially independent, and many of whom may have little or no knowledge of the ancient custom of bride-price, much less any idea how ingrained its essence is in their own cultural values, who sincerely feel that a diamond, and as large and costly as possible, is the engagement ring of choice, and for some, inability or disinclination of the groom to produce such a trinket could be a deal-breaker, and they may say good-bye to the man for whom they have the greater affection in favor of the suitor who promises a ring of the desired price range.
Of course, it would not be a question of them holding out for the highest bidder, rather being pragmatic and realistic about future financial security. Being mature.
And so, even a discussion of diamond versus cz brings us back to that fundamental question: What does marriage mean to you? and reminds us that even the most modern young women, even among a prevailing culture overwhelmingly presenting itself as overwhelmingly all about romance, and romantic love, when it gets down to making that commitment, for many of our most sophisticated and urbane brides-to-be, old ways are best, and nothing will seal the deal like that sparkling affirmation of her value as a commodity: a high bride-price!
Its so true, & thanks for taking the time to print this! Also, the idea that diamonds are that rare, hence the high price tag, is also a myth. I just hope that everyone knows that the valuable diamond on their hand is probably going to be very difficult to sell for a fair price due to the very low demand for second hand diamonds. As long as we are all aware of the facts about diamonds, and not just the romantic manafactured selling points, then all is fair.
So yes, I put diamonds right up there with expensive sports cars, nannies, huge mansions, holidays etc...all wonderful things you can spend money on, but not something that proves anyones love for you.
And as for cz being fake, I think much of what we do is fake from dying hair to botox to fake tans. Of course if you can afford diamonds go for it, no doubt they are the best, it is what is being copied!!! But if you want the dream and there is a way to have it within your budget, I dont think its such a big deal. And I personally know wealthy people who have over $100m and believe it or not.....they wear both diamond and cz.....and no one would spot it!!!! And no, its not to save $!
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