Coping w/dying grandfather

[bagaholic85]

Thank you everyone for all your kind words!

I just spoke with my mom on the phone. She wanted to call before she took her nap. He's not doing good. He's on 100% oxygen. Morphine to keep him calm. He's not eating. No IV fluids. Blood pressure is low. Blood sugar was 40 last night. They gave him an injection of sugar yesterday, which brought it up to 130..but it has since dropped back down to 80. No more sugar injections as it's just prolonging it. Eventually his sugar will drop low enough that he'll go into a coma...and stop breathing. They have been suctioning stuff out of his lungs...but everytime they do that, the lungs secrete more...so it's a losing battle. At this point, we're looking at a couple more days at best. I'm ready for him to go peacefully w/no more pain!

My mom seems to be holding up quite well. She's had 3+ weeks to come to terms with this and the fact that he won't be in pain anymore. One of her cousins has been there by her side...staying with her at the nursing home. Thank goodness for her

good to hear that mom has support by her side and as close as a phone call to you. honestly the waiting is the worst esp knowing theyre in pain. i remember with my gram seeing her get to that point, and in my mind she was already gone before she passed.

another note: please dont forget to grieve yourself. from your posts, i can see you deeply care for your parents and family. i myself got so caught up in my dad, moms, and sisters grief and wanting to care for them, and the fact that other things in life have to be perfect now (esp with christmas) that it didnt hit me personally when i should have let it. take all the time you need. hugs and kisses to you and your family

 

[alfiebach]

deleck, is he able to have a phone held up to him? at least then you can tell him that you love him. I used to do that when I wasn't able to come up and see my grandpa. Although he couldn't talk back to me I could hear him nodding on the other end of the phone, and mom always said he got so excited when I called.

That might give you some peace of mind...even if he can't talk back i'm sure he can hear you

thats a really good idea, and so positive

 

[alfiebach]

good to hear that mom has support by her side and as close as a phone call to you. honestly the waiting is the worst esp knowing theyre in pain. i remember with my gram seeing her get to that point, and in my mind she was already gone before she passed.

another note: please dont forget to grieve yourself. from your posts, i can see you deeply care for your parents and family. i myself got so caught up in my dad, moms, and sisters grief and wanting to care for them, and the fact that other things in life have to be perfect now (esp with christmas) that it didnt hit me personally when i should have let it. take all the time you need. hugs and kisses to you and your family

you girls are so great, the point about grieving is so true.
thinking of you and your familt at this difficult time.....take care of yourself

 

[deleckidesign]

I just wanted to thank you all so much for your kind words.

My grandfather passed away late last night. My mom was by his side
when he took his last breath and said he went very peacefully.
Although I am relieved that he is in a better place with no more pain
and suffering, I will still miss him!

Over the last 3 weeks that he has been in the hospital, then the
nursing home, I don't think I had fully accepted that he would be
leaving soon. Until last night...and the flood gates opened and I just
let it out.

There was a strange coincidence last night...and maybe it was just
that...a coincidence, but I like to think of it as fate. Around 11pm,
a white truck pulled into my driveway. Mind you, I was not expecting
anyone. Not knowing who it was, I ran to the bedroom to tell my
husband. There was a knock at the door, then the phone rang. I grabbed
the phone and my husband went to the door. By the time he got to the
door, they had left. I answered the phone and it was my mom telling me
Papaw had passed. I didn't think much of the "visitor" at the time,
but then I remember my grandpa has a white truck. I'm sure most will
think it's a coincidence, but I like to think it was him telling me
goodbye in a way.

Anyway, I'm at work today But taking tomorrow off to drive down for
the showing and the funeral will likely be Friday.

 

[bagaholic85]

delecki im so sorry for your loss. reading your last post brought me to tears. god bless you and your family through this difficult time.


and the white truck was no coincidence i honestly believe they come back to check in. i remember about 2 weeks after my gram passed i was driving near her house and there was a truck in front of me that had a bumper sticker on the back that said "pray for danny boy"...danny boy was her funeral procession song. thinking about it again gives me goosebumps

 

[puddinhd58]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am sure that was his white truck! He was saying goodbye.... You will never forget him...


My Papa died 3 years ago this month. (next week the 10th actually) He had organ failure after a bypass. His final two weeks were spent in a hospice there at the hospital.
I took a week off week to go down with my Mom and be with them. I remember giving him a manicure... (My Papa was like John Wayne so this was something he had never had before!!! ) but as I washed his hands and rubbed lotion on them and his arms I could actually feel him relax a little.
He really enjoyed it and I will never forget it. I got to hold his hand for an hour and talk with him..
I went home and he died three days later.

I still miss him and think of him often. He gave me my nickname, puddin head. Your last time with him sounds very nice and you will always remember that.
I will be thinking of you and your family..... God Bless...

 

[bagnshoofetish]

I don't think it was coincidence at all. I think your grampa was saying, "I'll see you later!" Cause when you used to see him pull out of your driveway, you knew you would see him again soon.
For about a month after my daddy passed away, I swear to this day he was talking to me through fortune cookies. I kid you not - every fortune cookie I opened addressed something specific about what I was going through - not just the run of the mill fortunes you get. For example, regarding the photo frames I picked out for his memorial? I fretted about those wondering if I had chosen the right things, if they were going to look cheesy or what not. I picked up some Panda Express on the way home and my fortune cookie said; "you made excellent choices today." A day or so later, I was having anxiety with some relatives about the memorial and just ready to collapse about it all and I heard my daddy's voice in my head kind of making fun of it all. Again, had Panda Express that afternoon and my fortune cookie said, "your sense of humor will get you through these rough times". There is more but you get the picture. And yes, I have saved all the fortunes I got from that time in my life!

 

[SunnyFreckles]

I just wanted to thank you all so much for your kind words.

My grandfather passed away late last night. My mom was by his side
when he took his last breath and said he went very peacefully.
Although I am relieved that he is in a better place with no more pain
and suffering, I will still miss him!

Over the last 3 weeks that he has been in the hospital, then the
nursing home, I don't think I had fully accepted that he would be
leaving soon. Until last night...and the flood gates opened and I just
let it out.

There was a strange coincidence last night...and maybe it was just
that...a coincidence, but I like to think of it as fate. Around 11pm,
a white truck pulled into my driveway. Mind you, I was not expecting
anyone. Not knowing who it was, I ran to the bedroom to tell my
husband. There was a knock at the door, then the phone rang. I grabbed
the phone and my husband went to the door. By the time he got to the
door, they had left. I answered the phone and it was my mom telling me
Papaw had passed. I didn't think much of the "visitor" at the time,
but then I remember my grandpa has a white truck. I'm sure most will
think it's a coincidence, but I like to think it was him telling me
goodbye in a way.

Anyway, I'm at work today But taking tomorrow off to drive down for
the showing and the funeral will likely be Friday.

Oh honey...I am so very sorry for your loss. I totally believe that it was fate, what happened last night. What an amazing moment.

Have a safe trip when you travel this weekend...you will continue to remain in my thoughts and prayers!

 

[L-U-V-Purses]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. I don't think what happened last night was any coincidence, like the ladies said above, I think that it was his way of telling you goodbye. My thoughts are going out to you and your family right now. PM me if you need someone to talk to. I know how hard this is.