cliques/feeing you dont fit in

#31
I never feel like I fit in. In highschool I was the "girl who could draw." I was awkward and dressed in baggy flannel and I was just a mess. I hung out with the nerdy types but most of the mean popular girls cut me a little slack because I was quiet and was a good artist they could get pictures out of sometimes.

I left highschool and found that I had the hobbies and traits of a 16 year old boy. I enjoy anime, role playing, cartoons, video games, comic books but ALSO I enjoy my designer bags and lots of girly things and fashion. I'm 27 now and at my work I have a TERRIBLE time. All the girls I work with are my age and I don't fit in with them at all. They all see my childish hobbies as silly and they can't relate. At the same time they see my fondness for expensive bags and fashion as just as silly and they can't relate. I feel like all girls in Boston my age are 27 going on 40. I always end up having to hang out with my husbands friends with him because they're the only people who at least kind of get me. I want a girl friend so bad it makes my head spin. I've lived in Boston 3 years and I'm just going nuts not fitting in and not having any real true friends. Just one person I can fit in with. I'm starting to think she doesn't exist. =(
 
#32
^ Don't give up! I know I won't.....:supacool:
It's worse when you have a group of friends but have not much in common with (i'm stuyding art... so they don't understand anything i tell them, or they don't seem to care and think that it's some kind of hobby). What's worse is that i used to major in fashion design so it was inevitable that i payed very close attn to brands/designers/etc..... and they thought that it was just another excuse for me to deal with my obsession and spend more money. However, it wasn't an obsession- i was very much passionate about my work and what i was studying.

Also... i'm not much of a gossiper so when i don't include myself in their conversation- they give me the look (as if i'm being rude to them). I hate going to night clubs/drinking and everytime they talk about a new place to go for drinks i feel very left out. Just something about them..... i feel like they're not being genuine~ more like feeling sorry or trying to not be rude. I had a best friend for some time but she betrayed me and i started to see the "unpleasant" side of her~ so straight out.. i told her that we could no longer be friends. In high school, i will admit that i was afraid from breaking away from the group... but being in college i realize that i'm fed up with some of the girls who bring so much tension in my life. I'm 22 and i need geuine people in my life, people who will actually care and look out for my best interest instead of giving me looks and just brushing things off as if i'm no importance.

Worst part- they HATE TWILIGHT! .... now that i can't deal with lol.
 
#33
pink princess, I think everyone feels like that at some point or another. At the moment, I don't have a tight-knit group of friends as I did in college. I've been in Chicago for about two year, and the friends I've made here are NOT the kind you can call up at 3 a.m. when your boyfriend breaks up with you. Know what I mean?

I think you'll soon find a place for yourself. Your post makes it seem as if you're an eloquent and intelligent person. Those are attractive qualities. If you find yourself in the right place at the right time, friends will come. Easier than it actually sounds, I think. Who knows who you might meet tomorrow or next week.
 
#36
pink princess said:
...I honestly thought once you reach adult hood people would grow up and things change...
Click to expand...
LOL I remember thinking that when I was little! I would watch the women in my family who always seemed so self-assured and confident and serene in absolutely any social setting, and actually sit there and wish I was like 40, because then nothing would ever embarrass me and grownups don't have cliques or talk about people!

Alas! It turned out that it was just those women in my family who didn't have cliques or talk about people, and when I finally reached adulthood, it seemed I also reached even more things to be embarrassed about.

For me the trick turned out to be embracing the fact that if you don't fit in anywhere, at least you can be equally out of place everywhere, and therefore free to enjoy yourself, even if you do not always enjoy the behavior of those around you!
 
#37
Shortly after HS, when I was working full time and had my evenings free, I was a little bored. So I took a sailing class just for fun. My friends from HS couldn't understand why I would take a sailing class when I didn't know anyone with a sailing boat. They thought it was weird that I would take a class "just for fun." I never let their opinion stop me though. I found new friends that would take glass blowing classes, or Irish language classes, or dance, or basket weaving, or whatever sounded fun. Not really caring what people think gives you a certain kind of freedom that most people don't appreciate or even get to experience. I should say, it isn't that I completely don't care for other people, I do. I just don't care if they think I am different than they are. I'm proud to be different!
 
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