I'm in the same boat as Amanda (and we sure commisserate about it a lot!) and I can empathize, vanojr9! I'm sorry you're feeling bad about it. But November isn't too far away, you guys can make it! How far away is he? Can you two visit one another occasionally?
I'm about to be in an LDR in August... I have to go back to college in the United States to finish my senior year. Then I'll finally be back in Taiwan again! It's going to be really hard, because I'm used to seeing my bf every day.
Aw, I hope you get through it because I'll be feeling what you're feeling in 2 months! After I finish up my degree this summer, I'm going back home which means I'll be 5 hours away from my boyfriend/bestfriend.
You gotta pull through! It gives me hope for my future
You gotta pull through! It gives me hope for my future
i know exactly what you are going through.big hugs out to you
. my DH is active military. we have been married for almost 14 years. i swear half of that time he has been away and for months at a time. the longest i think was somalia humanitarian mission where he was gone for nearly 9 months
. he still goes away often now but for days at a time to frequent conferences.
it is never easy. but when they do come back, you appreciate them so much more
. hang in there, we are here for you.
. my DH is active military. we have been married for almost 14 years. i swear half of that time he has been away and for months at a time. the longest i think was somalia humanitarian mission where he was gone for nearly 9 months . he still goes away often now but for days at a time to frequent conferences.it is never easy. but when they do come back, you appreciate them so much more
. hang in there, we are here for you.
Amanda and IntlSet, count me in as another member of the LD unrelationship club (bah !).
Vanojr9, it's hard now but it'll all be worth it right ? It's definitely crummy at times, but think of how good everything will be when it's all done with !
Vanojr9, it's hard now but it'll all be worth it right ? It's definitely crummy at times, but think of how good everything will be when it's all done with !
Yall will do what yall have to do , and at the end it will be all worth the wait ......But for now Cheer up , you dont have to much longer to wait , the months are flying by all ready
*hugs*
*hugs*
This just hit home. My BF is 3 hours away. I miss him so much that I take the train every weekend now just to see him (we don't have work on Fridays right now, cutting hours).vanojr9 said:
It's not going to be easy but it does get easier as more time passes. Again, hang in there and keep yourself busy! Time passes by so fast when you're doing something you like.
I'm not sure how much my story will help but I don't think it can hurt. Please bear with me on the backstory, but it does need to be explained or else it'll get a little confusing.
For starters, I'm in California (USA), and my SO is in Singapore. We have gone out for close to 3.5 years and had done this long distance thing for almost 2 years. The long distance is STILL on-going with NO END in sight. I'm a U.S. citizen but SO is not because while he is Asian, he was born in and lived in Latin America for most of his life. He was in the U.S. on a student visa and then later on a work visa. Then 2 years ago, he decided to move to Singapore to work for his sister, who had started a company there.
Long-distance relationship is difficult. Prior to the LDR, he and I saw each other at least once a week and talked on the phone everyday. Now with the long-distance, due to 15 hours of time difference, it had been a challenge. I was VERY LOST at first without him, because I had grown dependent to having someone to eat with, watch movies with, talk with, shares views with (because we're almost identical in everyway). However, trust me when I say that as time goes on, you WILL adjust and adapt!
I don't know how old you are or if you have talked about the future, but with my SO and I we did try to have a plan. I STILL recommend anyone who is going to be doing LDR to do this and try to adhere to it. Now my SO and my plan FELL THROUGH, but that is more due to his commitment issues and other things beyond our control (finances, career, etc). HOWEVER, just having SOMETHING in place will help because it helps both of you establish the fact that this LDR will go smoewhere, and that in a way will help encourage both of you to try a little harder.
So anyways, in the meantime this is how my SO and I try to keep this going: We use the internet, we chat, we use webcams, and we send international text messages. We also try to see each other once every 4 months (that's the MOST we can do because plane fares get very expensive and I only get 10 days vacations a year). It's IMPORTANT to keep in contact without being too dependent!!!
LDR is not easy but it doesn't mean that it's a complete waste of time either. Just see it as a good opportunity to learn to trust, be independent, to grow, AND to learn about the other person. In my case, my SO and I get into more fights because of the distance (we never fight when we're together) but it is precisely BECAUSE of the LDR, I have come to see the OTHER side of him. If we were not in the LDR, I would've NEVER known that he could have an explosive temper and could be emotionally abusive. But because I was in an LDR, I learn of it.
In learning about the other person, one also learns about the issues one may have in the relationship. Lots of problems tend to get compounded when one is in LDR, but that's also a great opportunity for one to WORK on the relationship. In my case, I have learned that I'm often too passive and too much of a doormat. Once I started standing up for myself, the emotional abuse actually stopped - apparently he didn't realize what he was doing is abusive.
Now I know that every relationship is different and everyone is different. But the fact still remains that LDR is a learning experience. I also see it as the ultimate test in a relationship. Granted, i don't want to do LDR forever and I definitely will NOT recommend this to anyone to try. But when you are in one, just take it by the horns and ride it out. You will learn A LOT from it.
In the meantime, try to keep yourself busy. Take additional classes, watch movies, hang out with your friends, obtain new interests and hobbies! It's a great opportunity to create your own space and own sky right now. I think by doing so, you'll also be in a much better mood, which WILL help the relationship a lot! What I've learned with LDR is that when one person is in a bad mood, it also affects the other person, which in turn can put strains on a relationship.
Ok, I have more to say but I think I'll stop here. I'm rambling ... HTH.
For starters, I'm in California (USA), and my SO is in Singapore. We have gone out for close to 3.5 years and had done this long distance thing for almost 2 years. The long distance is STILL on-going with NO END in sight. I'm a U.S. citizen but SO is not because while he is Asian, he was born in and lived in Latin America for most of his life. He was in the U.S. on a student visa and then later on a work visa. Then 2 years ago, he decided to move to Singapore to work for his sister, who had started a company there.
Long-distance relationship is difficult. Prior to the LDR, he and I saw each other at least once a week and talked on the phone everyday. Now with the long-distance, due to 15 hours of time difference, it had been a challenge. I was VERY LOST at first without him, because I had grown dependent to having someone to eat with, watch movies with, talk with, shares views with (because we're almost identical in everyway). However, trust me when I say that as time goes on, you WILL adjust and adapt!
I don't know how old you are or if you have talked about the future, but with my SO and I we did try to have a plan. I STILL recommend anyone who is going to be doing LDR to do this and try to adhere to it. Now my SO and my plan FELL THROUGH, but that is more due to his commitment issues and other things beyond our control (finances, career, etc). HOWEVER, just having SOMETHING in place will help because it helps both of you establish the fact that this LDR will go smoewhere, and that in a way will help encourage both of you to try a little harder.
So anyways, in the meantime this is how my SO and I try to keep this going: We use the internet, we chat, we use webcams, and we send international text messages. We also try to see each other once every 4 months (that's the MOST we can do because plane fares get very expensive and I only get 10 days vacations a year). It's IMPORTANT to keep in contact without being too dependent!!!
LDR is not easy but it doesn't mean that it's a complete waste of time either. Just see it as a good opportunity to learn to trust, be independent, to grow, AND to learn about the other person. In my case, my SO and I get into more fights because of the distance (we never fight when we're together) but it is precisely BECAUSE of the LDR, I have come to see the OTHER side of him. If we were not in the LDR, I would've NEVER known that he could have an explosive temper and could be emotionally abusive. But because I was in an LDR, I learn of it.
In learning about the other person, one also learns about the issues one may have in the relationship. Lots of problems tend to get compounded when one is in LDR, but that's also a great opportunity for one to WORK on the relationship. In my case, I have learned that I'm often too passive and too much of a doormat. Once I started standing up for myself, the emotional abuse actually stopped - apparently he didn't realize what he was doing is abusive.
Now I know that every relationship is different and everyone is different. But the fact still remains that LDR is a learning experience. I also see it as the ultimate test in a relationship. Granted, i don't want to do LDR forever and I definitely will NOT recommend this to anyone to try. But when you are in one, just take it by the horns and ride it out. You will learn A LOT from it.
In the meantime, try to keep yourself busy. Take additional classes, watch movies, hang out with your friends, obtain new interests and hobbies! It's a great opportunity to create your own space and own sky right now. I think by doing so, you'll also be in a much better mood, which WILL help the relationship a lot! What I've learned with LDR is that when one person is in a bad mood, it also affects the other person, which in turn can put strains on a relationship.
Ok, I have more to say but I think I'll stop here. I'm rambling ... HTH.