Am I Crazy To Give My 15 Year Old A Paddy

Should I give 15 year old daughter new paddy tote?

  • sure.

  • no way.

Results are only viewable after voting.
#31
I have to say your sister is a very lucky girl. I did not come from a rich family and don't have the luxuries to afford expensive handbags. My indulgence only starts when I was 19 yrs old and that, not branded ones. Just bags I bought at flea markets and vintage shops with money earned working as salesgirl. I indulge in the expensive ones lately since I have a stable job now and part-time investing to increase my income. Right now, I'm on my way to make my first million.

I think it all depends on what kind of influence and upbringing you want to give to your sis. I don't see anything wrong for you to give her your paddy as long as she continued to study hard and teach her the importance of money. Also how hard for one to be successful in her life. If your sis is grateful to you and listens to your advice to study hard, then it's okay. But, try not to indulge too much. Once in a while okay but not always.

ANyway, I'm still single so not too sure if my advice is useful. Why not ask your parents? They should make a better judgement.
 
#32
Well, it's not as though you're buying the bag specifically for her, as I read it, I thought it was your (little used) bag and you're considering giving it to her, which I personally think is a little different to her just coming to you saying "can i have this" and you just buying it.

I really think it's fine to treat your daughter a little, but I would make her work for it! Like others have mentioned, great exam results/academic achievement/16th birthday etc are all good occasions, in the long run, it's going to work out better for her to know the value of things.
 
#33
Aside from the price issue, I'd also think about where she's likely to take a $1500 bag. Teenagers tend to hang out at school, movie theaters, malls, all night restaurants, parties...not always safe places. I'd actually be a bit worried for her carrying around such an expensive bag where she's likely to be! If someone recognizes it and wants it, it could definitely get stolen, and god forbid she's hurt in the process. It's one thing for teenagers to haul around little pochettes and such, even the designer ones aren't *too* expensive and there are so many fakes. But a legit and expensive large designer bag might make her look like a sitting duck! I'd just let her borrow yours on special occasions. Maybe I sound paranoid?
 
#36
WOW! I was sleeping while all this info came in....thank you guys!!
I agree with you all who said "no way"...and my little inside voice told me even though i own it, it's a bad idea. i too had things when i was young, but not like that. i remember saving bday money and allowence to buy my first gucci at 15...the kids now are all very spoiled and i think it's a problem. even parents who can't afford it are going into debt to buy their kids pricey things. she goes to a private girl's school in nyc where they are all have as much as we do; and it's gross...i stuck my little kid in a quaker school i hated it so much. one of her friends got a new paddy for her bday, the other a cambon...another got a botiker and mj wallet the other day just for breathing....i was only thinking about it as i bought it and if i can't sell it, it will sit there...
but that being said, borrowing something of your mom's from time to time is different than being given a 2000 dollar bag...
she is a good kid, good grades, no drugs and all...but does think true religions grow on trees and dior glasses are a birthright.
just so you know, i take her to india and make her work in the slum school i help support so she sees how the world really is. and starting next week she goes to work at ronald mcdonald house to help with the sick kids...so, iam trying to instill good values in her.
i think part of it is, those of you with teenagers will understand, it is something we share, the love of purses, and at that is nice as they grow up and away.
but, i think whoever said if she wants it she should earn the money or at least half of it is on target. by the time she saves that much money she will be 18....
i think maybe a kooba will be the gift....
i really appreciate the feedback....i read them all to my DH and i said, "see we are not just a bunch of super- spending airheads!!!!"
fyi - i work for my money....i'm not just a manicure mom...
 
#37
^^^ AMEN, SISTER!!! I totally agree with what everyone else here said too, from both sides actually. This is something that you really have to answer for yourself and for your children. For people in some tax brackets, dropping $1500 on a purse is nothing while others save for months on hand to buy it.

While I fully applaud your decision, I also agree that each child is different. Some will meticulously take care of the purse, others will let it plop on the side of the road and forget about it. I also hope all parents take the time out to teach their children the benefits of volunteering and see how so other people live throughout the world, including some "1st world" countries. Kudos to you!!!
 
#38
At 15, carrying an expensive designer handbag is not ideal. I don't think it's wise to start an expensive handbag fetish at such a young age when school should be priority. Don't mean to sound stern but this is just my .02.
 
#39
I'm chiming in a little late but this thread is right up my alley!

I'm a single parent of a 16-year old girl and I struggle with this question a bit lately. I want my daughter to have an appreciation for quality instead of quantity and so when an important bday comes along (like 16 for example) the tug to give her one really special gift was very strong. But I decided that at her age (she's still loosing everything and her closet is her bedroom floor) she wouldn't have the appreciation for it. So, the LV bucket bag that I purchased for her remains in its dust bag in its LV shopping bag at the top of my closet waiting for her 18th birthday. THAT'S when she'll get it! And, I'm happy with that decision...it's right for us.

Everyone's lifestyle is different, everyone's parenting skills are different. You must go with what feels right for your situation.:smile:
 
#40
shopmom411 said:
I'm chiming in a little late but this thread is right up my alley!

I'm a single parent of a 16-year old girl and I struggle with this question a bit lately. I want my daughter to have an appreciation for quality instead of quantity and so when an important bday comes along (like 16 for example) the tug to give her one really special gift was very strong. But I decided that at her age (she's still loosing everything and her closet is her bedroom floor) she wouldn't have the appreciation for it. So, the LV bucket bag that I purchased for her remains in its dust bag in its LV shopping bag at the top of my closet waiting for her 18th birthday. THAT'S when she'll get it! And, I'm happy with that decision...it's right for us.

Everyone's lifestyle is different, everyone's parenting skills are different. You must go with what feels right for your situation.:smile:
Click to expand...

the closet being the bedroom floor is a big one!!! if i had a dollar for everytime i have a fit cause a pair of sevens are lying in heap under the uggs and the sweatshirts....she does take care of her few small bags, i have her doing that. but the rest of it is a nightmare...
 
#41
Late too, but I like the idea of letting her 'borrow' it but only when you two go out together - make it a mother/daughter thing. Then it would be a special occasion and you can make sure she doesn't plunk it on a theater floor or something. I borrowed a lot of things from my mom growing up (admittedly some without her knowing!) and to this day when we go out together we like to help dress each other up, loan special items, oggle each others new 'finds', or wear our gifts to each other.

Lending special items to your daughter in this way can also help teach the value of things beyond monetary.... :smile:
 
#42
shopmom411 said:
I'm chiming in a little late but this thread is right up my alley!

I want my daughter to have an appreciation for quality instead of quantity and so when an important bday comes along (like 16 for example) the tug to give her one really special gift was very strong.
Click to expand...

This is true - my Dad was all about quality items and spending more for the better brand. For that reason, whenever I wanted something expensive, he would always pay the difference between what I could afford and what the item cost. My Mom, however, never indulged herself, never cared about anything designer. I tried to "educate" her but she wasn't of the designer mindset (where the heck did I come from??). I like to give her bags I'm not using every now and then and it cracks me up that she has never even heard of some of the designers. I gave her a Coach bag, Fendi, Balenciaga, and Kooba and she had only heard of Coach. When she saw my Paddington on her last visit she was all over it. One of these days, I'll going to give her a satchel from my collection. She would KILL me if she knew how much they cost though. :lol:
 
#43
wow! it is your decision and not anyone else's but your daughter is very lucky!

i am a 30-year old hedge fund manager making a decent living and i still agonize over paying full price for a paddy (which i still have not done).

i went to boarding school for 4 years as a teenager and was given many nice things by my parents but never anything so expensive.

this thread has certainly given me some perspective on my thrifty habits.
 
#44
It is all relative and it is all up to you. It sounds like she goes to a school/lives in an area where designer bags, jeans, sunglasses, etc are a NORM. It is hard to explain to your parents that 'everyone else has it' when they REALLY do. Am I saying that we should all give our kids or people things because other people have it? No. But I know that makes it much harder.

I can relate with your daughter in a way. My high school seemed the same. I went to a great private school and a BMW 3 series was an OK car if you had it at 16- no one was going crazy. There was a girl who drove a Bentley convertible at 16. So when my mom thought it was big to give me a Coach bag and Sally Sue was getting Chanel everything, I didn't understand- and my mom didn't understand even more! Some of it deals with a different upbringing too I think. My mom never got anything extravagant and while she may have been able to afford it for me and my brothers and sister, she did not always want to.

So after all this babble, I think it is up to you and whatever you work out with your daughter! It seems like you are helping to make her appretiate what she has and help others who don't have, so I am sure the decision you make will be the best one for you and her!
 
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