Workplace Am I being selfish?

[Love4MK]

I need some advice from you guys.

I work at a car dealership and was promoted to a position in the office from service receptionist about three years ago. When I was approached about the job I was hesitant to take it because of having to work Saturdays. I was expecting to work a Monday through Friday job but that turned out to not be the case. There is another woman who does the same job as me who has been here for over fifteen years. After going over the job requirements I expressed hesitation about working every Saturday. The woman who offered me the job called in my counterpart (the other woman who does the same job as me) and suggested going on a Saturday rotation (my counterpart never had to work Saturdays before) and she flipped a you-know-what. So basically I was guilty stricken and after a lot of grumbles agreed to work every Saturday. Now its three years later and I have regrets. I have missed out on a lot of opportunities to do things because I am working.

Fast forward to yesterday where I approached my boss about rotating Saturdays with my counterpart. He was surprised since he thought I liked working every Saturday since I have a day off during the week and while having that is great, I would like the chance to enjoy weekends and socialize with friends and family. Also, myself and my counterpart are the ONLY department that doesn't rotate. The parts, service and sales departments are all on a Saturday rotation.

Now, I understand that it would majorly suck for my counterpart as she has never had to work Saturdays before, but I took on every weekend because of the temper tantrum she threw when it was brought up three years ago. Now I can't sleep and I've been so anxiety ridden since yesterday and almost feel like I need to retract what I said because of the guilt of changing the schedule. But on the other side, I have taken on every Saturday for this woman and she's never stepped up to the plate in terms of offering to cover a Saturday for me to give me a chance to have a weekend here and there (I maybe ask for two Saturdays off a YEAR.)

So that being said, do you think I'm being selfish? I see both sides. I see how it's unfair for her since she's never had to include Saturdays into her schedule, but on my side she's kind of gotten away with having every weekend off for three years. I'm so torn and like I said, anxiety ridden. A lot of my friends agree with me about the rotation, but I can't stop thinking about how my counterpart will react. Nothing has happened yet in terms of a conversation with both of us so I have no idea how this will play out, but you guys are always brutally honest and helpful.

Sorry for the long post!

 

[snibor]

It’s not selfish but forget about getting the other person to rotate. Not gonna happen. You took a job where the requirement is every Saturday. If you dont want to work every Saturday and that is your absolute decision, talk to boss about it. I wouldn’t try to figure out how they can accomplish this. That’s on them. Otherwise, find another job. The reality is the other person has worked a long time and her job requirements don’t include Saturday’s. You were hired with a Saturday requirement. Unfair? Maybe but you took the job knowing this.

Good luck. Somehow this will all work itself out.

 

[Love4MK]

It’s not selfish but forget about getting the other person to rotate. Not gonna happen. You took a job where the requirement is every Saturday. If you dont want to work every Saturday and that is your absolute decision, talk to boss about it. I wouldn’t try to figure out how they can accomplish this. That’s on them. Otherwise, find another job. The reality is the other person has worked a long time and her job requirements don’t include Saturday’s. You were hired with a Saturday requirement. Unfair? Maybe but you took the job knowing this.

Good luck. Somehow this will all work itself out.

And I hear and understand everything you said. Believe me. And the requirement was every Saturday, but my counterpart was asked to be included in the Saturday rotations, but threw such a big stink that I felt bad and took on every Saturday because of it.

 

[Evia]

^ I agree, it isn't anything to do with the other worker, she has established terms and conditions for her job that don't involve Saturday working. This is something you need to negotiate separately with your employer, unfortunately because you did agree to work on Saturdays. Good luck, I do sympathise, but I think it wouldn't be fair to drag her into it. Should she leave though, and her post become vacant, I think that's another matter altogether

 

[Love4MK]

^ I agree, it isn't anything to do with the other worker, she has established terms and conditions for her job that don't involve Saturday working. This is something you need to negotiate separately with your employer, unfortunately because you did agree to work on Saturdays. Good luck, I do sympathise, but I think it wouldn't be fair to drag her into it. Should she leave though, and her post become vacant, I think that's another matter altogether

I did have a private conversation with my employer so nothing has happened yet since I only had the meeting with him yesterday. I'll probably end up working every Saturday because of the guilt. I'm honestly not sure how long I am even going to be staying at this establishment anyway. I do appreciate your opinions.

 

[bag-mania]

I did have a private conversation with my employer so nothing has happened yet since I only had the meeting with him yesterday. I'll probably end up working every Saturday because of the guilt. I'm honestly not sure how long I am even going to be staying at this establishment anyway. I do appreciate your opinions.

It would be wise to start looking for another place where the work schedule meets your needs. Your coworker has seniority and there's no incentive for her to change to accommodate you. You can press the issue but if they aren't inclined to make changes it might come off as stirring the pot.

 

[Love4MK]

It would be wise to start looking for another place where the work schedule meets your needs. Your coworker has seniority and there's no incentive for her to change to accommodate you. You can press the issue but if they aren't inclined to make changes it might come off as stirring the pot.

I'm going to wait until the conversation happens with her and my boss, but if she is totally 100% against it (which I know she will) I will respect her decision and let it go.

 

[daisychainz]

Gosh... I mean, you AGREED to take every Saturday and gave her a free pass. And now you want her to step in an ease a choice you willingly made. I guess if I was her I would be angry too, and she is not obligated in any way to help this situation for you. You made your own bed here, you know? And the passage of time (3 years) does not obligate her to work a Saturday when her own schedule does not call for it and you willingly took it on. There are many people who have to step down from promotional jobs later on in order to make a proper work-life balance, so you may want to consider a demotion or new job to get more family/personal time. Or, you keep working Saturdays without complaint.

 

[Love4MK]

Gosh... I mean, you AGREED to take every Saturday and gave her a free pass. And now you want her to step in an ease a choice you willingly made. I guess if I was her I would be angry too, and she is not obligated in any way to help this situation for you. You made your own bed here, you know? And the passage of time (3 years) does not obligate her to work a Saturday when her own schedule does not call for it and you willingly took it on. There are many people who have to step down from promotional jobs later on in order to make a proper work-life balance, so you may want to consider a demotion or new job to get more family/personal time. Or, you keep working Saturdays without complaint.

No, she is not in any way obligated to assist me in this nor did I ever say that. However, the person who offered me the job wanted to rotate Saturdays but because she got so angry I begrudgingly agreed to work every weekend. Yes, I made the choice, but that's because she threw such a temper tantrum when the office controller suggested we rotate not me.

Like I said in my last post, I will wait and see what happens in the conversation and if she has the same reaction I will drop it.

 

[juneping]

you should just say you can no longer work weekends and suggest if they can hire a partime....i don't think it's fair for you to drag your counterpart into this. do you want your counterparts to drag you into something that you would flip??

 

[kbell]

Do they never allow you to have a Sat off? You don’t get to go on vacation? No vacation time?

On the one hand, if I were employed somewhere for a long time with no weekends I would also refuse to work weekends unless it was like 1 (if given the choice). On the other, I hardly think it’s fair you can’t ever make weekend plans if that’s the case here.

I don’t work weekends. If asked to though I would be willing to do say 1 a month - sometimes it’s good so you can schedule appointments etc without having to use PTO.

Maybe she’d be up for that?

 

[Love4MK]

Unfortunately my office manager did not handle the situation professionally yesterday so my counterpart's reaction was justified. However, she is willing to give it a chance. We shall see! Thank you for everyone's input!

 

[AlyceG]

I don't think you are being selfish at all. And it all depends on what's in both your and your counterpart's employment contract. If there is thah requirement and your colleague has gotten away with not doing it for 15 years due to guilting everyone, then tough luck to her.

If the requirement isn't there, then unfortunately I don't think it's fair to ask her now, as even though you reluctantly agreed to work Saturdays you still agreed.

I'm curious to hear how it turns out!