Alexander Skarsgård
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I read this a couple of days ago on tumblr. It's one from the accounts where you can write whatever you want, every nonsense, every lie, all the most disgusting things about someone famous who you hate, everything. You can't take it seriously, 
, definitely it doesn't deserve to appear here.
, definitely it doesn't deserve to appear here.
Last edited:
That's the biggest bunch of BS. I'm assuming they are talking about the photos where they are waiting for a cab and shes wearing the Sacred Monster shirt. They didnt look like they were fighting. In fact there were photos of him smiling across the street. He naturally keeps his hands closed. Many photos have either his hands closed in a fist or his fingers curled up. It's just him. You can take any photos, change the order of them and fake a story. If she was so frightened, why is she holding his hand when the taxi pulls up. She hardly looks miserable while she's jet setting all over the world. The only thing that might have been a problem is not seeing each other often enough. It definitely doesn't deserve to be posted here.
This is all BS. Just sayin. Anyone can post anything on the website where this came from whether it's true or not. Post truth is the new norm of our society after our latest election. Critical thinking is gone. Sigh.
MUTE @mute
You can add #MUTEfilm to your @netflix watchlist now ready for 2017, if ya like
does anybody remember reading an article where stellan was interviewed and he talked about alex being arrested when he was young? it was because of a fight or something?? ring any bells?? i know i read it, but can't find it now....
if anybody remembers and can send me a link, it would be much appreciated!
if anybody remembers and can send me a link, it would be much appreciated!
As far as I know this is not a thing in Europe (excluding UK 'cause they've got a problem). You don't get arrested just for being drunk. You are either drunk and started a fight or you are drunk and started vandalizing. I've never seen drunk minors getting arrested (you get yelled at from the police car's speakers but no arrest; personal experience). You can get arrested for attempting to buy alcohol as a minor but I've never seen that either.
Same with public intoxication. What do you think how many people they had to arrest every weekend for just being drunk in public? Police wouldn't get a hold of it. Football fans couldn't get home from the games if that were the case.
This tumblr translated the interview,
[Translators notes: For simplicity’s sake, both interviewers are denoted by “Q”.
One of them is also named Alexander, and is from the west coast of Sweden, which has a very dorky, mockable dialect.
AS is from South Stockholm, which has a very different, sweary, urban dialect.
For UK people, think West Counties vs Cockney.
For US people, think Fargo vs Southie/NooYawk. Throughout, I will use “Westie” and “Southie”.
I’ve omitted a few lines where they talk over or repeat each other.]
Q: You know him as Ingmar in “Dykaren”, Alexander Skarsgård!
AS: Thanks, guys.
Q: This is our “thing”, we introduce our guests using one of their roles.
AS: Have you seen “Dykaren”
Q: I think so…
AS: Stefan Sauk [Swedish low rent Bruce Willis] and Izabella Scorupco [ex Bond girl, model]. I play a young west coast fisherman who gets a hook through his hand and fall in the water. It hurts, but Stefan is a tough guy. He tells me I have to be tough, he gives me whiskey and cuts the hook out.
Q: Was it a big part?
AS: No, it was Stefan’s film. Stefan and Izabella, I got to tag along there. That was basically what I got to do.
Q: No love scenes with Izabella?
AS: (I played a) Dorky, clumsy young west coast fisherman.
Q: Did you have any lines in a Westie dialect?
AS: Nope, I did no research or preparations whatsoever. I just showed up with my ****ing Southie accent.That’s how I work!
Q: It’s worked out for you! A fisher boy…
AS: “A fisher boy from Lysekil… ****, Alexander Skarsgård is perfect!” And the rest is history.
Q: Wasn’t that an early product placement movie?
AS: Yes.
Q: Like, that hook was from a specific brand. Fiskars.
AS: Yeah, but then… It didn’t turn out very well, that movie. I was just happy to be there. I had galoshes… No, what the **** are they called… waders! And I fell into the water, that’s it.
The movie premiered a year later, in Stockholm, I thought I was gonna get one or two tickets, but they gave me fifteen. I thought that was really ****ing cool! The gala premiere of Dykaren! I couldn’t understand why, I just had a tiny part in it, and it was my first. So I invite all my friends, we’re gonna have a real party. We get there, and something is wrong… I’m the only one there from the movie. Izabella - not there. Stefan - not there. The director - not there. They haven’t arranged an after party. The producer gets up on stage before the screening and like whispers “eh yeah welcome, thanks, bye” and ran out.
And there I sat, the face of the movie for the evening. And it wasn’t… It isn’t… very good. I think it was financed entirely by product placement. And it was a tough experience. It’s a whodunnit/thriller/action. Stefan is a tough guy, of course. But the audience just laughed. That wasn’t fun.
Q: How did that make you feel?
AS: It hurt a lot, Alexander.
Q: Did it?
AS: Yes, it hurt.
Q: (laughs)
AS: Thank you for your empathy. You’re such a good friend…. And when we left, they had printed some ****ing books, Dykaren books, like a picture book with productions stills. Like me with my hook through my hand. And they were handing them out. It was like adding insult to injury. So after that horrifying experience, you sneak out, and they shove that book into your hands, and everyone’s laughing at you.
Q: ****, what a story! But it was fun…
AS: (icily) Yeah. Lots of fun. But like fifteen years later, it at least brought you some joy. Something good came out of it.
[Musical interlude]
https:/ /freundmaschine.tumblr.com/post/154507088070/translators-notes-for-simplicitys-sake-both
Sent from my SM-N9005 using PurseForum mobile app
[Translators notes: For simplicity’s sake, both interviewers are denoted by “Q”.
One of them is also named Alexander, and is from the west coast of Sweden, which has a very dorky, mockable dialect.
AS is from South Stockholm, which has a very different, sweary, urban dialect.
For UK people, think West Counties vs Cockney.
For US people, think Fargo vs Southie/NooYawk. Throughout, I will use “Westie” and “Southie”.
I’ve omitted a few lines where they talk over or repeat each other.]
Q: You know him as Ingmar in “Dykaren”, Alexander Skarsgård!
AS: Thanks, guys.
Q: This is our “thing”, we introduce our guests using one of their roles.
AS: Have you seen “Dykaren”
Q: I think so…
AS: Stefan Sauk [Swedish low rent Bruce Willis] and Izabella Scorupco [ex Bond girl, model]. I play a young west coast fisherman who gets a hook through his hand and fall in the water. It hurts, but Stefan is a tough guy. He tells me I have to be tough, he gives me whiskey and cuts the hook out.
Q: Was it a big part?
AS: No, it was Stefan’s film. Stefan and Izabella, I got to tag along there. That was basically what I got to do.
Q: No love scenes with Izabella?
AS: (I played a) Dorky, clumsy young west coast fisherman.
Q: Did you have any lines in a Westie dialect?
AS: Nope, I did no research or preparations whatsoever. I just showed up with my ****ing Southie accent.That’s how I work!
Q: It’s worked out for you! A fisher boy…
AS: “A fisher boy from Lysekil… ****, Alexander Skarsgård is perfect!” And the rest is history.
Q: Wasn’t that an early product placement movie?
AS: Yes.
Q: Like, that hook was from a specific brand. Fiskars.
AS: Yeah, but then… It didn’t turn out very well, that movie. I was just happy to be there. I had galoshes… No, what the **** are they called… waders! And I fell into the water, that’s it.
The movie premiered a year later, in Stockholm, I thought I was gonna get one or two tickets, but they gave me fifteen. I thought that was really ****ing cool! The gala premiere of Dykaren! I couldn’t understand why, I just had a tiny part in it, and it was my first. So I invite all my friends, we’re gonna have a real party. We get there, and something is wrong… I’m the only one there from the movie. Izabella - not there. Stefan - not there. The director - not there. They haven’t arranged an after party. The producer gets up on stage before the screening and like whispers “eh yeah welcome, thanks, bye” and ran out.
And there I sat, the face of the movie for the evening. And it wasn’t… It isn’t… very good. I think it was financed entirely by product placement. And it was a tough experience. It’s a whodunnit/thriller/action. Stefan is a tough guy, of course. But the audience just laughed. That wasn’t fun.
Q: How did that make you feel?
AS: It hurt a lot, Alexander.
Q: Did it?
AS: Yes, it hurt.
Q: (laughs)
AS: Thank you for your empathy. You’re such a good friend…. And when we left, they had printed some ****ing books, Dykaren books, like a picture book with productions stills. Like me with my hook through my hand. And they were handing them out. It was like adding insult to injury. So after that horrifying experience, you sneak out, and they shove that book into your hands, and everyone’s laughing at you.
Q: ****, what a story! But it was fun…
AS: (icily) Yeah. Lots of fun. But like fifteen years later, it at least brought you some joy. Something good came out of it.
[Musical interlude]
https:/ /freundmaschine.tumblr.com/post/154507088070/translators-notes-for-simplicitys-sake-both
Sent from my SM-N9005 using PurseForum mobile app
AS part 2
[As before, Southie is Södermalm, roughly analoguous to Boston’s Southie, but recently gentrified. Kids who grew up there are almost comically proud of their ‘hood. Östermalm, where the podcast is recorded, is extremely upscale, old money part of town, like Upper East Side in NY or Kensington in London.
The summer cottages mentioned are very common in Sweden, it’s not like “summering in the Hamptons” in a vast mansion. A lot of the cottages were built in the early 1900s to give industry workers in the surrounding cities somewhere to relax during their vacation.]
5:41
Q: Nice to have you here. We’ve had a hard time getting you on the podcast, and by that I mean getting you here physically, during the last 15 minutes. We’re close to Karlaplan in Stockholm. You don’t leave Southie, You’ve never been north of Slussen. [Bridge/sluice system at the northern border of Southie]
AS: Yeah, it’s real bad.
Q: How does it feel to be in Östermalm, is it hard for you?
AS: I’m a bit uncomfortable. I was stressed out when I walked here on… some street… I don’t know the name of the street….
Q: Strandvägen?
AS: Yeah, but I was on some other street, I got lost. For real. You gave me an address, I went there and there was a sound studio with a lot of trolls.
Q: Yes, we’re located right next to Eurotroll, who overdubs all children’s cartoons.
AS: They’re CALLED Eurotroll? Brilliant. Well, it felt obvious to me, a sound recording studio, of course the guys are in a booth here somewhere. So I walk in… Kim was there, Kim Sulocki. People probably thought I was there to record sound for something.
Q: Would have been fun of you just stepped in to Thomas The Tank Engine and just did some train wagon. Shoulda told Kim to take a hike.
AS: “I’m taking over, gimme the mic!” But anyway, I couldn’t find this place. And I… prefer not to leave Southie when I’m here.
Q: Do you have a bad sense of direction?
AS: No, it’s pretty good actually. But I also think I’m doing this as a “thing”, I’m such a dork. I’m all “Geez, where’s that, I have no idea! Stureplan, where’s that? I’m only in Southie! I’m a Southie kid!”. But really I have it all down, I love this.
Q: When you’re in the US, do you call your assistant? Karen, or what’s her name? Do you have an…
AS: (annoyed) I don’t have an assistant!
Q: (naively) Don’t you have an…
AS: (even more annoyed) You KNOW I don’t have an assistant, you’re so ridiculous.
Q: (even more naively) You have someone you can fire when you get angry? You have someone you can call. “I can’t find Santa Barbara Street, where do I go?” Do you call someone, like your assistant?
AS. NO.
Q: OK then. OK.
AS: “Ahmahgad, where’s Santa Barbara Street, can someone help me”
Q: That’s what I’m saying, you called me four times looking for Narvavägen.
AS: But I have a flip phone from 1997, I have no maps. But now we’re here in Östermalm. It’s very nice here, very nice. It smells less of urine here than Southie.
Q: And you’re hung over.
AS: Yeah a little.
Q: Tell us, what did you do yesterday.
AS: I shooting in Berlin, Germany. I flew home for a dinner with the family, at my dad’s place, with all my siblings.
Q: Are you like 30 people around the table? Including spouses?
AS: Yeah, that’s about it. Dad and his wife, eight siblings, mum lives one block away. My parents are divorced but really good friends, so she’s dining with him several times per week, so she was there too.
Q:That’s nice.
AS: Yeah, it’s incredible, they have such a nice relationship. To the degree that Dad and Megan, his wife, bought a summer cottage thirty meters from my mum’s cottage, because they want to be in the same hood.
Q: Not to annoy her?
AS: A little bigger, a little nicer place.
Q: I love your mother. I really do.
AS: She’s a pretty great woman. It’s so wonderful to come home, and, you know, Dad’s and Megan’s kids run over to play with mum’s dog. That they have that kind of relationship is pretty amazing.
Q: That’s the optimal relationship. Do you have that with your exes?
AS: (laughs) Yeah, I have the same philosophy. I always buy a condo next to my ex, but for a different reason.
Q: It usually results in a police report.
AS: Yeah, restraining order…
Q: But with good intentions?
AS: Yeaaah, but you know if you want someone to come back to you, you have to fight for it! Even if she isn’t interested, you can’t let that stop you!
Q: Absolutely, she just needs a MAN to EXPLAIN to her what she needs.
AS: No, but you show her… “Hey, we’re neighbours! Whatta coincidence!”
Q: “Maybe we were meant to be!”
AS: “And I have a double bed. Yep. That I’m all alone in. Yep. Oh, do you like cats? I happen to have four cats!” And then I end up alone with four cats in my double bed, with no chicks.
Musical interlude. Time 10:43
https://freundmaschine.tumblr.com/post/154539788520/as-part-2
Sent from my SM-N9005 using PurseForum mobile app
[As before, Southie is Södermalm, roughly analoguous to Boston’s Southie, but recently gentrified. Kids who grew up there are almost comically proud of their ‘hood. Östermalm, where the podcast is recorded, is extremely upscale, old money part of town, like Upper East Side in NY or Kensington in London.
The summer cottages mentioned are very common in Sweden, it’s not like “summering in the Hamptons” in a vast mansion. A lot of the cottages were built in the early 1900s to give industry workers in the surrounding cities somewhere to relax during their vacation.]
5:41
Q: Nice to have you here. We’ve had a hard time getting you on the podcast, and by that I mean getting you here physically, during the last 15 minutes. We’re close to Karlaplan in Stockholm. You don’t leave Southie, You’ve never been north of Slussen. [Bridge/sluice system at the northern border of Southie]
AS: Yeah, it’s real bad.
Q: How does it feel to be in Östermalm, is it hard for you?
AS: I’m a bit uncomfortable. I was stressed out when I walked here on… some street… I don’t know the name of the street….
Q: Strandvägen?
AS: Yeah, but I was on some other street, I got lost. For real. You gave me an address, I went there and there was a sound studio with a lot of trolls.
Q: Yes, we’re located right next to Eurotroll, who overdubs all children’s cartoons.
AS: They’re CALLED Eurotroll? Brilliant. Well, it felt obvious to me, a sound recording studio, of course the guys are in a booth here somewhere. So I walk in… Kim was there, Kim Sulocki. People probably thought I was there to record sound for something.
Q: Would have been fun of you just stepped in to Thomas The Tank Engine and just did some train wagon. Shoulda told Kim to take a hike.
AS: “I’m taking over, gimme the mic!” But anyway, I couldn’t find this place. And I… prefer not to leave Southie when I’m here.
Q: Do you have a bad sense of direction?
AS: No, it’s pretty good actually. But I also think I’m doing this as a “thing”, I’m such a dork. I’m all “Geez, where’s that, I have no idea! Stureplan, where’s that? I’m only in Southie! I’m a Southie kid!”. But really I have it all down, I love this.
Q: When you’re in the US, do you call your assistant? Karen, or what’s her name? Do you have an…
AS: (annoyed) I don’t have an assistant!
Q: (naively) Don’t you have an…
AS: (even more annoyed) You KNOW I don’t have an assistant, you’re so ridiculous.
Q: (even more naively) You have someone you can fire when you get angry? You have someone you can call. “I can’t find Santa Barbara Street, where do I go?” Do you call someone, like your assistant?
AS. NO.
Q: OK then. OK.
AS: “Ahmahgad, where’s Santa Barbara Street, can someone help me”
Q: That’s what I’m saying, you called me four times looking for Narvavägen.
AS: But I have a flip phone from 1997, I have no maps. But now we’re here in Östermalm. It’s very nice here, very nice. It smells less of urine here than Southie.
Q: And you’re hung over.
AS: Yeah a little.
Q: Tell us, what did you do yesterday.
AS: I shooting in Berlin, Germany. I flew home for a dinner with the family, at my dad’s place, with all my siblings.
Q: Are you like 30 people around the table? Including spouses?
AS: Yeah, that’s about it. Dad and his wife, eight siblings, mum lives one block away. My parents are divorced but really good friends, so she’s dining with him several times per week, so she was there too.
Q:That’s nice.
AS: Yeah, it’s incredible, they have such a nice relationship. To the degree that Dad and Megan, his wife, bought a summer cottage thirty meters from my mum’s cottage, because they want to be in the same hood.
Q: Not to annoy her?
AS: A little bigger, a little nicer place.
Q: I love your mother. I really do.
AS: She’s a pretty great woman. It’s so wonderful to come home, and, you know, Dad’s and Megan’s kids run over to play with mum’s dog. That they have that kind of relationship is pretty amazing.
Q: That’s the optimal relationship. Do you have that with your exes?
AS: (laughs) Yeah, I have the same philosophy. I always buy a condo next to my ex, but for a different reason.
Q: It usually results in a police report.
AS: Yeah, restraining order…
Q: But with good intentions?
AS: Yeaaah, but you know if you want someone to come back to you, you have to fight for it! Even if she isn’t interested, you can’t let that stop you!
Q: Absolutely, she just needs a MAN to EXPLAIN to her what she needs.
AS: No, but you show her… “Hey, we’re neighbours! Whatta coincidence!”
Q: “Maybe we were meant to be!”
AS: “And I have a double bed. Yep. That I’m all alone in. Yep. Oh, do you like cats? I happen to have four cats!” And then I end up alone with four cats in my double bed, with no chicks.
Musical interlude. Time 10:43
https://freundmaschine.tumblr.com/post/154539788520/as-part-2
Sent from my SM-N9005 using PurseForum mobile app
AS part 3
[Gothenburg is on the west coast.
Vita Lögner (White Lies) was a low budget soap opera
Fika is the cornerstone of all Swedish social interaction]
10:49
Q: Let’s go back to our friendship, we’ve known each other for a long time. We met in Stockholm, through a mutual friend.
AS: I have no memory of this.
Q: Yes, the first time we met, it was in Stockholm.
AS: We did? I thought it was at Restaurant Vasastan in Gothenburg, at the urinals.
Q: Yeah, the first time, yeah!
AS: (laughs) “But the second first time…”
Q: Yeah, ****! It was at a urinal in Gothenburg! I was seventeen, almost, and you were..
AS: I was 39. We had a girl in common. An… an aquaintance. And I was standing there, with my sex in my hand, at Restaurant Vasastan in Gothenburg.
Q: Which was a hip place at the time.
AS: Yes, it was a popular place.
Q: I was allowed in every other weekend. And every other weekend I stood outside like a serial killer.
AS: We hung out there a lot. I lived in Gothenburg at the time, I worked at Vita Lögner [awful soap opera]. Then one day, a cute blond little boy stood next to me at the urinal…
Q: …and said: “wow, that’s a big one”.
AS: You said that also, but… what was her name…
Q: We can’t talk about that here!
AS: OK, let’s call her Mia, I cant’ remember her name.
Q: (laughs) Her name was Mika!
AS: Let’s call her Mia.
(general confusion)
AS: Anyway, you said… (adopts exaggerrated westie accent) “Helloooo, my name is Alexanderrr. I believe we have a mutual frrriend! Do you know… Mia… a.k.a. Mika?”
Q: ****, your impression of me is awful, and you’re one of the biggest actors in the world.
AS: Yes, but this was… the late seventies. You were a lot younger then. “Youu spoke liiike thiiis”.
Q: Yes, that’s how it was.
AS: And there, our story ends. I shook off my penis and left.
Q: No, you said one more thing, and I remember this. I have a little bit of a Rain Man thing, I can remember stuff people said.
AS: (with contempt) You do not have a Rain Man thing.
Q: Yes, yes, yes, I have this thing where I remember things… it’s true…
AS: Sometimes you randomly remember things from ten years ago, you’re not like Rain Man. “****, I remember a thing that happened a few years ago, I’m unique, guys!”
Q2: Let him have this little thing…
AS: Rain Man can count 500 matches in one second, Stocks remembers an incident at a club ten years ago. (westie accent) “I’m a little bit like Rrrrain Man”. No, you’re so ****ing normal.
Q: Anyway, you said to me, at the urinal; “I love Gothenburg, because if you have a pair of new sneakers…”
AS: How do I sound? That’s not my accent. (westie) “I did yours, you have to do mine”.
Q: (gay southie) “It'sss sssso cool, like, if you buy a pair of new sneakersss in Gothenburg, Gothenburgers will come up to you and say ‘damn, those are some nice sneakers’, that would never happen in Stockholm.”
That’s the first thing you said to me. And I’m like, yeah, that sounds true, people will comment on other peoples shoes…
AS: (gay southie) “All Gothenburgers love my sneakers! It’s like ****ing incredible!
Q: Well, it’s true, you said that to me. And I was like, yeah, we’re really ****ing nice here.
AS: Yeah, I wanted to give some cred to Gothenburg, and it was EXTREMELY obvious that you were from Gothenburg, as soon as you opened your yap. So I wanted to spread some joy and love, and tell you that you folks are a jolly sort of people.
Q: And you’ve loved me ever since.
AS: Yes! Or rather, I forgot about you for a while. Because then it took a while for us to see each other again. When was the second first time we met?
(general confusion about Mika/Mia again)
Q… but when our friendship blossomed was when you lived in the house next to me in Gothenburg.
AS: Yeah, I got a job at Stadsteatern in Gothenburg. And I didn’t know anyone there. I had met you a couple of times, and I met a guy called Dada during a fika, and a girl called Ingrid from Halmstad. I felt like [an antisocial serial killer, like Jeffrey Dahmer], sitting there at nights. So I called the three people I knew, not really knew, but knew existed. "Hi, my name is Alexander, don’t know if you remember me, we had a coffee three years ago…”
Q: “My sneakers are pretty”
AS: “…and I like Gothenburgers, because they like my sneakers. I’m here for six months, If you wanna hang out. I’m extremely, extremely lonely.
Q. "I can do it!”
AS: And it turned into a pretty lovely autumn, because the three of you knew each other. But we started to hang out, and hung out every day. The play I was in was pretty short, so I ran to Ingrid after each show and drank wine and went out to party.
Q: That’s where I laid the foundations for my drinking.
AS: (overly eager radio voice) HEY dear listeners, stick around! Commercial break coming up, but when we return, we’ll talk more about…
Q: The years in Helsingborg
Q2: Oh **** it.
AS: Next week’s episode: How we met for the first time, for the third time!
Q: Now, let’s talk about how you two met…
AS: For the next 25 minutes we’ll talk about Andreas Wilson and I, how WE met.
[musical interlude] TIME 16:56
https://freundmaschine.tumblr.com/post/154541338000/as-part-3
Sent from my SM-N9005 using PurseForum mobile app
[Gothenburg is on the west coast.
Vita Lögner (White Lies) was a low budget soap opera
Fika is the cornerstone of all Swedish social interaction]
10:49
Q: Let’s go back to our friendship, we’ve known each other for a long time. We met in Stockholm, through a mutual friend.
AS: I have no memory of this.
Q: Yes, the first time we met, it was in Stockholm.
AS: We did? I thought it was at Restaurant Vasastan in Gothenburg, at the urinals.
Q: Yeah, the first time, yeah!
AS: (laughs) “But the second first time…”
Q: Yeah, ****! It was at a urinal in Gothenburg! I was seventeen, almost, and you were..
AS: I was 39. We had a girl in common. An… an aquaintance. And I was standing there, with my sex in my hand, at Restaurant Vasastan in Gothenburg.
Q: Which was a hip place at the time.
AS: Yes, it was a popular place.
Q: I was allowed in every other weekend. And every other weekend I stood outside like a serial killer.
AS: We hung out there a lot. I lived in Gothenburg at the time, I worked at Vita Lögner [awful soap opera]. Then one day, a cute blond little boy stood next to me at the urinal…
Q: …and said: “wow, that’s a big one”.
AS: You said that also, but… what was her name…
Q: We can’t talk about that here!
AS: OK, let’s call her Mia, I cant’ remember her name.
Q: (laughs) Her name was Mika!
AS: Let’s call her Mia.
(general confusion)
AS: Anyway, you said… (adopts exaggerrated westie accent) “Helloooo, my name is Alexanderrr. I believe we have a mutual frrriend! Do you know… Mia… a.k.a. Mika?”
Q: ****, your impression of me is awful, and you’re one of the biggest actors in the world.
AS: Yes, but this was… the late seventies. You were a lot younger then. “Youu spoke liiike thiiis”.
Q: Yes, that’s how it was.
AS: And there, our story ends. I shook off my penis and left.
Q: No, you said one more thing, and I remember this. I have a little bit of a Rain Man thing, I can remember stuff people said.
AS: (with contempt) You do not have a Rain Man thing.
Q: Yes, yes, yes, I have this thing where I remember things… it’s true…
AS: Sometimes you randomly remember things from ten years ago, you’re not like Rain Man. “****, I remember a thing that happened a few years ago, I’m unique, guys!”
Q2: Let him have this little thing…
AS: Rain Man can count 500 matches in one second, Stocks remembers an incident at a club ten years ago. (westie accent) “I’m a little bit like Rrrrain Man”. No, you’re so ****ing normal.
Q: Anyway, you said to me, at the urinal; “I love Gothenburg, because if you have a pair of new sneakers…”
AS: How do I sound? That’s not my accent. (westie) “I did yours, you have to do mine”.
Q: (gay southie) “It'sss sssso cool, like, if you buy a pair of new sneakersss in Gothenburg, Gothenburgers will come up to you and say ‘damn, those are some nice sneakers’, that would never happen in Stockholm.”
That’s the first thing you said to me. And I’m like, yeah, that sounds true, people will comment on other peoples shoes…
AS: (gay southie) “All Gothenburgers love my sneakers! It’s like ****ing incredible!
Q: Well, it’s true, you said that to me. And I was like, yeah, we’re really ****ing nice here.
AS: Yeah, I wanted to give some cred to Gothenburg, and it was EXTREMELY obvious that you were from Gothenburg, as soon as you opened your yap. So I wanted to spread some joy and love, and tell you that you folks are a jolly sort of people.
Q: And you’ve loved me ever since.
AS: Yes! Or rather, I forgot about you for a while. Because then it took a while for us to see each other again. When was the second first time we met?
(general confusion about Mika/Mia again)
Q… but when our friendship blossomed was when you lived in the house next to me in Gothenburg.
AS: Yeah, I got a job at Stadsteatern in Gothenburg. And I didn’t know anyone there. I had met you a couple of times, and I met a guy called Dada during a fika, and a girl called Ingrid from Halmstad. I felt like [an antisocial serial killer, like Jeffrey Dahmer], sitting there at nights. So I called the three people I knew, not really knew, but knew existed. "Hi, my name is Alexander, don’t know if you remember me, we had a coffee three years ago…”
Q: “My sneakers are pretty”
AS: “…and I like Gothenburgers, because they like my sneakers. I’m here for six months, If you wanna hang out. I’m extremely, extremely lonely.
Q. "I can do it!”
AS: And it turned into a pretty lovely autumn, because the three of you knew each other. But we started to hang out, and hung out every day. The play I was in was pretty short, so I ran to Ingrid after each show and drank wine and went out to party.
Q: That’s where I laid the foundations for my drinking.
AS: (overly eager radio voice) HEY dear listeners, stick around! Commercial break coming up, but when we return, we’ll talk more about…
Q: The years in Helsingborg
Q2: Oh **** it.
AS: Next week’s episode: How we met for the first time, for the third time!
Q: Now, let’s talk about how you two met…
AS: For the next 25 minutes we’ll talk about Andreas Wilson and I, how WE met.
[musical interlude] TIME 16:56
https://freundmaschine.tumblr.com/post/154541338000/as-part-3
Sent from my SM-N9005 using PurseForum mobile app
AS part 4
[This is the hockey thing https://www.tablehockey.net/]
[This is Håkan Hellström and the hit AS mentions:
AS: What’s the point of this podcast?
Q: There is no point, that’s the thing.
AS: But what’s the thought behind it?
Q: You can’t think in terms of journalistic…
AS: No, I did not think that for a single second. That was very apparent. But what’s your…
Q: Our framework?
AS: Except that you like to talk.
Q: We’ll get to the acting, “what were your thoughts on Tarzan”, but some people think thats ****ing boring.
AS: I think so too, and I’ve done that a thousand times.
Q: I know, but maybe our listener Birgitta [old lady name] from Flogsjö [tiny rural village] haven’t heard that.
AS: Birgitta from Flogsjö, all she wants is 25 minutes on how you and I met and had a super boring
conversation about shoes. I heard a cool podcast “My dad wrote a porno”, have you heard about it?
Q: Yes, no, a little bit…
AS: It’s a British dude whose dad wrote a porno novel. The podcast is him and his two friends, who are very funny, meet once per week, and he reads a chapter. But they interrupt him with comments all the time. It’s incredibly good.
Q. Stop listening to this and go check out “My dad wrote a porno”.
AS: Birgitta from Flogsjö, log out and go find “My dad wrote a porno”, great podcast! And it has a point.
[musical interlude]
Q: We have a tradition. What kind of animal is Alex?
Q2: A Wolverine.
Q: What drink?
Q2: I know this, Arnold Palmer, but also vodka.
AS: Oh, darling. But we drank a lot of that when we lived together.
Q: Can’t we do 25 minutes on that?
AS: For the next 25 minutes, we’re going to talk about how I and Andreas lived together in LA
Q2: We’re getting to that.
Q: What color is he?
Q2: Orange.
Q: Which Swedish actor is he, as he’s a Hollywood star now.
Q2: In Sweden, he’s Stellan Skarsgård.
AS: I wish.
Q: It’s partly true?
AS: Yes, I’m a little Stellan, like 50%.
Q: So far: Orange Wolverine Arnold Palmer Vodka Stellan Skarsgård.
What’s his favorite pastime
Q2: This is going to be interesting. He loves painting tin soldiers and reenacting great battles of world war 2.
AS: I loved painting table hockey figures. Me, my [maternal] uncle and my dad played, and we had our own figures we played with. You know, the classic hockey game, but with your own dudes, it makes you care more when you place your men that YOU painted.
Q: Were your players green/white?
AS: (feigned shock) How did you know?
Q: Because you love Bajen…
AS: That is correct.
Q: Can we talk a bit about Bajen and what it means to you?
AS: I’m going to the Bajen gala tonight, actually!
Q: What’s that? I know nothing about.
AS: Performances, players are there, with the fans…
Q: It’s not on TV?
AS: No, it’s just the hardcore fans who’ll find it fun. But there are a lot of artists who are fans of Bajen, so there are always good bands playing.
Q: Changing the subject, we both love Håkan Hellström. We have been to a lot of his concerts, crying and holding hands.
AS: Yeah, that was back in Vasastan in Gothenburg, when we were talking about my shoes. No, it was later, when I came down to work there. That was during the “Känn ingen sorg för mig Göteborg” hysteria. He played on the roof of Stora Teatern.
Q: We saw him play there together. It was cold, during the winter.
AS: A I’m a fan of your podcast, I listened to the episode where you talked about meeting Håkan at Way Out West, when I tried to introduce you. I was so overjoyed meeting him, and I was even happier when I remembered “Stocks is 50 meters away, and here’s Håkan!”, so I’m like “Håkan, can we go say hi to a friend of mine?”, and he’s extremely sympathetic, so he’s like (westie acccent) “No prrroblem, of course!”. I go to get you, and you had some kind of seizure, you just couldn’t handle it.
Q: That’s what I was getting to, I can’t breathe when I’m close to him. But you’re similar when it comes to Bajen players, right?
AS: Yeah, I get a little star struck around those guys.
Q: How, why?
AS: I’m pretty invested in the team, I like Hammarby. And there they are, wearing their shirts with the emblem on the chest, they are out on the field, fighting for Hammarby. It means a lot to me. They are the ones bringing all that joy. And sometimes frustration and sorrow. Bajen is part owned by Anschutz Group, AEG, which is US based. So for many years they did their winter training in the US. They went there around January. Andreas and I lived there, and it was a dream come true for me, seeing them do training matches against the US and Mexico national teams, brutal teams. And I got to hang out with the players afterwards a few times, go for a beer with them. My American friends didn’t understand, I became like you when you met Håkan. I was stressed out around these guys. I don’t get like that around actors or musicians, just Bajen. My American friends tried to understand this, but it’s so hard to explain. They were like “Oh ****, are these the greatest football players in the world?” and i was like “Oh no no, that guy’s 21 years old, he’s nowhere near playing on the national team, he’s in Bajen, the… 12th best team in the Swedish premiere league.”
Q: So they’ve moved up from [the second highest league]?
AS: Yeah, but you know, we’ve been yo-yoing [losing and being moved down to a worse league] all my life. So my friends were like “So he’s a mediocre player and you’re wetting your pants because you’re so psyched”.
Q: Sounds great. But the players are rotated, right? You have to keep an eye on who’s in the team? Is it all about the shirt, if I’m wearing it, am I on your wet-my-pants-list? Or do I have to prove myself?
AS: It’s all about passion and loyalty. Of course, there are players you feel are only doing it for the money. And then there are players like Kennedy [Bakircioglu] who loves, loves Bajen. Of course, fans will gravitate towards players like him. He is also a divine footballer. But he cries after a loss, he’s distraught. That passion means a lot to the fans who feel the same thing. There are players who actually care about the club. Like how when Björn Runström was a youth pro and left Bajen early. To him it was really important that Bajen got a lot of money for his transfer. He has Bajen tattoos. Players like that get canonized.
Q. Like Totte to Roma. [No idea, Italian football thing I guess]
Q2: You told me about a player that left to play for an foreign team, came back to Sweden to play for another team, and he was seen as a traitor.
AS: It isnt’ necessarily treason. There are several factors. What can make fans a little angry is….
Q: And by “a little angry” you mean “riots”?
AS: Yes. But if someone goes from Hammarby to Another Team In Stockholm…
Q: You don’t even want to take their name in your mouth?
AS: Of course, I mean Brommapojkarna. [joke] With that rivalry, that situation could be difficult. A few fans could be angry at that, you don’t go from one Stockholm team to another.
Q: Have you ever had football dreams, have you ever played football?
AS: I was midfielder and right back in Ekens FF, and old Southie team in the eighties. I had big dreams, Alexander, I had. We played on Tanto’s gravel field. I was passionate. I ran, up and down the field. A lot of running. I was rarely close to the ball. But I was a fighter, and that won’t get you far in life.
Q: You need to look good, like Runström.
AS: That helps. No, but i figured out pretty quickly that I was completely worthless. I was better in the stands than on the field.
Q: We’ve talked about this with other guests. If they had another…
AS: Who’s your favourite guest?
Q: He’s avoiding the question!
AS: No, just curious. I don’t want the atmosphere to turn sour.
Q: Whatever, my point was, is there something else besides acting you could do. Linus [Wahlgren] studied economy for 15 minutes, then he said **** that and became a musical theatre artist.
AS: Did you ever do an interview where you thought, “**** it, I wish we’d chosen THAT guest instead of this”
Q: Actually, no. Maybe we wish Bradley Cooper was here, but whatever, he isn’t.
AS: (laughs) BRADLEY COOPER. I love that out of all the names you could have chosen, you picked Bradley Cooper. Dear listeners, this is an old thing. Stocks thinks Bradley is sooo handsome. So handsome. You’ve always thought this, throughout the years.
Q: When he comes here, we’re done.
AS: Stocks always knew. He was in… Wedding Crashers, a small part, before The Hangover and his big breakthrough. Even back then Stocks said “That guy, look at his eyes. He is beautiful. And. He has a secret. This guy will do well.” You said that back then.
Q: Yes, I did.
AS: And here we are.
Q: But we were at a party with Bradley Cooper.
TIME 28:37
[HOT GOSSIP COMING UP]
[TRANSLATOR TAKES WEEKEND BREAK]
https://freundmaschine.tumblr.com/post/154546229470/as-part-4
Sent from my SM-N9005 using PurseForum mobile app
[This is the hockey thing https://www.tablehockey.net/]
[This is Håkan Hellström and the hit AS mentions:
AS: What’s the point of this podcast?
Q: There is no point, that’s the thing.
AS: But what’s the thought behind it?
Q: You can’t think in terms of journalistic…
AS: No, I did not think that for a single second. That was very apparent. But what’s your…
Q: Our framework?
AS: Except that you like to talk.
Q: We’ll get to the acting, “what were your thoughts on Tarzan”, but some people think thats ****ing boring.
AS: I think so too, and I’ve done that a thousand times.
Q: I know, but maybe our listener Birgitta [old lady name] from Flogsjö [tiny rural village] haven’t heard that.
AS: Birgitta from Flogsjö, all she wants is 25 minutes on how you and I met and had a super boring
conversation about shoes. I heard a cool podcast “My dad wrote a porno”, have you heard about it?
Q: Yes, no, a little bit…
AS: It’s a British dude whose dad wrote a porno novel. The podcast is him and his two friends, who are very funny, meet once per week, and he reads a chapter. But they interrupt him with comments all the time. It’s incredibly good.
Q. Stop listening to this and go check out “My dad wrote a porno”.
AS: Birgitta from Flogsjö, log out and go find “My dad wrote a porno”, great podcast! And it has a point.
[musical interlude]
Q: We have a tradition. What kind of animal is Alex?
Q2: A Wolverine.
Q: What drink?
Q2: I know this, Arnold Palmer, but also vodka.
AS: Oh, darling. But we drank a lot of that when we lived together.
Q: Can’t we do 25 minutes on that?
AS: For the next 25 minutes, we’re going to talk about how I and Andreas lived together in LA
Q2: We’re getting to that.
Q: What color is he?
Q2: Orange.
Q: Which Swedish actor is he, as he’s a Hollywood star now.
Q2: In Sweden, he’s Stellan Skarsgård.
AS: I wish.
Q: It’s partly true?
AS: Yes, I’m a little Stellan, like 50%.
Q: So far: Orange Wolverine Arnold Palmer Vodka Stellan Skarsgård.
What’s his favorite pastime
Q2: This is going to be interesting. He loves painting tin soldiers and reenacting great battles of world war 2.
AS: I loved painting table hockey figures. Me, my [maternal] uncle and my dad played, and we had our own figures we played with. You know, the classic hockey game, but with your own dudes, it makes you care more when you place your men that YOU painted.
Q: Were your players green/white?
AS: (feigned shock) How did you know?
Q: Because you love Bajen…
AS: That is correct.
Q: Can we talk a bit about Bajen and what it means to you?
AS: I’m going to the Bajen gala tonight, actually!
Q: What’s that? I know nothing about.
AS: Performances, players are there, with the fans…
Q: It’s not on TV?
AS: No, it’s just the hardcore fans who’ll find it fun. But there are a lot of artists who are fans of Bajen, so there are always good bands playing.
Q: Changing the subject, we both love Håkan Hellström. We have been to a lot of his concerts, crying and holding hands.
AS: Yeah, that was back in Vasastan in Gothenburg, when we were talking about my shoes. No, it was later, when I came down to work there. That was during the “Känn ingen sorg för mig Göteborg” hysteria. He played on the roof of Stora Teatern.
Q: We saw him play there together. It was cold, during the winter.
AS: A I’m a fan of your podcast, I listened to the episode where you talked about meeting Håkan at Way Out West, when I tried to introduce you. I was so overjoyed meeting him, and I was even happier when I remembered “Stocks is 50 meters away, and here’s Håkan!”, so I’m like “Håkan, can we go say hi to a friend of mine?”, and he’s extremely sympathetic, so he’s like (westie acccent) “No prrroblem, of course!”. I go to get you, and you had some kind of seizure, you just couldn’t handle it.
Q: That’s what I was getting to, I can’t breathe when I’m close to him. But you’re similar when it comes to Bajen players, right?
AS: Yeah, I get a little star struck around those guys.
Q: How, why?
AS: I’m pretty invested in the team, I like Hammarby. And there they are, wearing their shirts with the emblem on the chest, they are out on the field, fighting for Hammarby. It means a lot to me. They are the ones bringing all that joy. And sometimes frustration and sorrow. Bajen is part owned by Anschutz Group, AEG, which is US based. So for many years they did their winter training in the US. They went there around January. Andreas and I lived there, and it was a dream come true for me, seeing them do training matches against the US and Mexico national teams, brutal teams. And I got to hang out with the players afterwards a few times, go for a beer with them. My American friends didn’t understand, I became like you when you met Håkan. I was stressed out around these guys. I don’t get like that around actors or musicians, just Bajen. My American friends tried to understand this, but it’s so hard to explain. They were like “Oh ****, are these the greatest football players in the world?” and i was like “Oh no no, that guy’s 21 years old, he’s nowhere near playing on the national team, he’s in Bajen, the… 12th best team in the Swedish premiere league.”
Q: So they’ve moved up from [the second highest league]?
AS: Yeah, but you know, we’ve been yo-yoing [losing and being moved down to a worse league] all my life. So my friends were like “So he’s a mediocre player and you’re wetting your pants because you’re so psyched”.
Q: Sounds great. But the players are rotated, right? You have to keep an eye on who’s in the team? Is it all about the shirt, if I’m wearing it, am I on your wet-my-pants-list? Or do I have to prove myself?
AS: It’s all about passion and loyalty. Of course, there are players you feel are only doing it for the money. And then there are players like Kennedy [Bakircioglu] who loves, loves Bajen. Of course, fans will gravitate towards players like him. He is also a divine footballer. But he cries after a loss, he’s distraught. That passion means a lot to the fans who feel the same thing. There are players who actually care about the club. Like how when Björn Runström was a youth pro and left Bajen early. To him it was really important that Bajen got a lot of money for his transfer. He has Bajen tattoos. Players like that get canonized.
Q. Like Totte to Roma. [No idea, Italian football thing I guess]
Q2: You told me about a player that left to play for an foreign team, came back to Sweden to play for another team, and he was seen as a traitor.
AS: It isnt’ necessarily treason. There are several factors. What can make fans a little angry is….
Q: And by “a little angry” you mean “riots”?
AS: Yes. But if someone goes from Hammarby to Another Team In Stockholm…
Q: You don’t even want to take their name in your mouth?
AS: Of course, I mean Brommapojkarna. [joke] With that rivalry, that situation could be difficult. A few fans could be angry at that, you don’t go from one Stockholm team to another.
Q: Have you ever had football dreams, have you ever played football?
AS: I was midfielder and right back in Ekens FF, and old Southie team in the eighties. I had big dreams, Alexander, I had. We played on Tanto’s gravel field. I was passionate. I ran, up and down the field. A lot of running. I was rarely close to the ball. But I was a fighter, and that won’t get you far in life.
Q: You need to look good, like Runström.
AS: That helps. No, but i figured out pretty quickly that I was completely worthless. I was better in the stands than on the field.
Q: We’ve talked about this with other guests. If they had another…
AS: Who’s your favourite guest?
Q: He’s avoiding the question!
AS: No, just curious. I don’t want the atmosphere to turn sour.
Q: Whatever, my point was, is there something else besides acting you could do. Linus [Wahlgren] studied economy for 15 minutes, then he said **** that and became a musical theatre artist.
AS: Did you ever do an interview where you thought, “**** it, I wish we’d chosen THAT guest instead of this”
Q: Actually, no. Maybe we wish Bradley Cooper was here, but whatever, he isn’t.
AS: (laughs) BRADLEY COOPER. I love that out of all the names you could have chosen, you picked Bradley Cooper. Dear listeners, this is an old thing. Stocks thinks Bradley is sooo handsome. So handsome. You’ve always thought this, throughout the years.
Q: When he comes here, we’re done.
AS: Stocks always knew. He was in… Wedding Crashers, a small part, before The Hangover and his big breakthrough. Even back then Stocks said “That guy, look at his eyes. He is beautiful. And. He has a secret. This guy will do well.” You said that back then.
Q: Yes, I did.
AS: And here we are.
Q: But we were at a party with Bradley Cooper.
TIME 28:37
[HOT GOSSIP COMING UP]
[TRANSLATOR TAKES WEEKEND BREAK]
https://freundmaschine.tumblr.com/post/154546229470/as-part-4
Sent from my SM-N9005 using PurseForum mobile app