"A Woman's Right To Shoes"

september1985

september1985

O.G.
Jan 10, 2012
705
2,219
#1
My best friend constantly passes judgement on my love for designer shoes. It's gotten so bad that I feel insecure about my shoe purchases when asked about them. I work hard and I don't default on my responsibilities in order to indulge. Thank goodness for my TPF ladies who support my hobby lol

Does anyone else have a friend who shoe shames them?
 
#2
It happens. I have a co-worker who constantly asks if I'm behind on credit card payments, if I even have a 401k, or if I have money for food. :lolots: I have to gently but firmly remind her that unless she's the IRS, she doesn't need to worry over my finances.
 
#3
People are so judgmental and yes it happens to me as well. But on the other hand, it just tells me how fly I am because I could be rocking Sam Edelman's and they will swear I paid $900 for my shoes.
 
#4
Your best friend needs to understand that if she doesn't pay your bills then she has no business worrying about how you spend your money.

My best friend and I also have very different ideas about where our money goes, but she keeps her criticism to herself. Besides, she knows that I don't entirely agree on how she spends her money either. It's only normal to have these differences, but no one has the right to bash you for your choices if they're not a party to how you pay for them. Agree to disagree and respect the boundaries.
 
#5
I have found that most people don't even know what brand I'm wearing or how much I've spent. Sometime they'll really like something I have and ask the price cause they want it for themselves. But I just pretend the stuff doesn't cost much. But OP I feel for you, I would not lime it if I had a judgmental friend like that. I guess I would just constantly say "I don't judge you, so don't judge me please" with a smile.
 
#6
I don't have friends who "shoe shame" me, but once in a while, they'll make a comment like, "I can't believe you'd spent that much for one pair". They're not mean about it, just expressing their opinions, so it doesn't bother me. I expect the same respect when I disagree with them on their decisions, but they're true friends, so we get over it quickly and know that we have each others' best interests at heart.

Seldom, I've come across people who see me in Louboutins and make mean comments (friends of friends or casual acquaintances), but I don't take it personally and don't respond rudely. Yes I wonder why they care enough to comment, but I don't have to time to worry about why they worry about what I spend on shoes.
 
#7
OP, I do feel for you :hugs:

This often seems to come up on the general handbag thread related to bags

I don't have any friends that shame me. They either say they like them, don't notice or keep their judgements to themselves :biggrin:.

My mother/sister come the closest to 'voicing an opinion' and that is because they a) know their stuff and b) know what stuff costs. They can't criticise directly because a love for fabulous finds runs in the family and both my mother and sister are waaaayyyy worse than me but I get a 'feeling' so I don't wear new things around them for a while.
 
#8
No - my friends and family keep their opinions to themselves and I do the same for them when it comes to money. No one has any business telling another how to spend their disposable income and I'm fortunate enough to have a social and family circle with the insight to know that.
 
#10
I am bumping this thread for a slightly different topic -- women commenting on how high your heels are. I have strange women (as well as the "friends" in the office) feel free to loudly ask me how I can walk in such high heels, and how they only wear (ugly) flats now. wtf? I don't comment on their clothes other than the occasional "you look nice" type comment. They are like hawks about what I wear and I am really tired of it.
 
#11
lulilu said:
I am bumping this thread for a slightly different topic -- women commenting on how high your heels are. I have strange women (as well as the "friends" in the office) feel free to loudly ask me how I can walk in such high heels, and how they only wear (ugly) flats now. wtf? I don't comment on their clothes other than the occasional "you look nice" type comment. They are like hawks about what I wear and I am really tired of it.
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Ha! I get the same thing - I will only wear flats (albeit, chic lanvin/miu miu etc. ones) on the way to work, but once there, I change to sky-high heels. And also get comments. It's our right to heels!
 
#12
katran26 said:
Ha! I get the same thing - I will only wear flats (albeit, chic lanvin/miu miu etc. ones) on the way to work, but once there, I change to sky-high heels. And also get comments. It's our right to heels!
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That is exactly what I do -- traipsing the streets of NY and subways, I wear flats, but put my heels on when I get to work.
 
#14
lulilu said:
I am bumping this thread for a slightly different topic -- women commenting on how high your heels are. I have strange women (as well as the "friends" in the office) feel free to loudly ask me how I can walk in such high heels, and how they only wear (ugly) flats now. wtf? I don't comment on their clothes other than the occasional "you look nice" type comment. They are like hawks about what I wear and I am really tired of it.
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lol the same happens to me! I'm a legal assistant at a law firm and the female attorneys get so ticked off about my shoes and clothes. It's like they have nothing better to do.
 
#15
label.hoe said:
lol the same happens to me! I'm a legal assistant at a law firm and the female attorneys get so ticked off about my shoes and clothes. It's like they have nothing better to do.
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Female ATTORNEYS? You mean, people who are supposed to defend others against harassment? How UNprofessional of them. How would a reply of "Gee, who could I hire to defend me against bi*chy petty attacks?" work?
 
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