I really cant take this anymore.. As you guys have known, Im already 6 months pregnant and my DH is out of work. I need your help on this.. Hes waiting for his night time job and for the meantime, hes just staying at home doing NOTHING! I told him many times that he needs to find a part time job for the mean time to pay our bills but hes still doing nothing! I wanted to do this
But hes not doing it! How can I make him realize that we need cash to pay our monthly bills??????
I can't take this anymore!!!
- Thread starter iqaganda
- Start date
I'm sorry...I sound awfully lame but maybe a little talking would help?
Most men have whatever characteristics they have (workaholic, easygoing, not helping, financially irresponsible) before they get married, so was his behaviour before marriage any indicator of what he would be like now? I know it's rough on you because you already cannot have one daughter with you because of financial constraints, and a baby on the way.
Most men have whatever characteristics they have (workaholic, easygoing, not helping, financially irresponsible) before they get married, so was his behaviour before marriage any indicator of what he would be like now? I know it's rough on you because you already cannot have one daughter with you because of financial constraints, and a baby on the way.
I agree with Merika, a direct talk to make him understand that he must take care of his family now!! A lot of men need to be told what to do unfortunately -mine is part of them- they can be responsible ....or not.
It´s must be a personnality thing, no ? or else if it´s new and surprising to you, could there be any other reason why he is not doing anything ??
It´s must be a personnality thing, no ? or else if it´s new and surprising to you, could there be any other reason why he is not doing anything ??
I can't really add any more than what Merika and Mellecyn have already stated. I really can not imagine what you are going through, as I have never been in such a situation myself, but I am sure that going through this while you are pregnant is extremely difficult. I know that being pregnant gives you this overwhelming desire to have everything in order (even when you already have things in order...lol) before the baby comes. You really don't need this added stress.
I hope all works out for you. I do hope your husband gets off his duff soon! I'd say more but I'd get out of control.....LOL. Good Luck to you!
I hope all works out for you. I do hope your husband gets off his duff soon! I'd say more but I'd get out of control.....LOL. Good Luck to you!
I agree with everyone else he needs a good talkin too, maybe you could get his mom or dad to talk to him? Hearing it come from someone other than you may make him take it more seriously, men often think their wives are nagging them and don't always take things to heart, but hearing it come from someone else may be a wake up call for him. I hope things get better for you, and try not to stress too much over it 
Try talking to him (I'm sure you have though). Even though you shouldn't have to, can you send his resume out or fill out some online applications for him? You could always move out for a while to show him your not messing around. I'm sorry you have deal with this while your pregnant.
That's what I was going to say--this is what I meant by not wanting to say more because I'd get out of control....LOL
Thank you for saying it!! I can't see a man having a pregnant wife not wanting to work!?! Most men I know wouldn't have to be told once...let alone nagged about 'getting a job/taking responsibility'. Sounds like this is just WHO he is. He hasn't grown up yet. Not everyone who can make a baby is a MAN! If that's all he is good for then you need to get rid of him before you end up with a litter of kids!
A dead beat man aint no good. My cousin live-in boyfriend is broke and jobless and she is 8 months pregnant with her 4th bebe w/ him. He thinks hustling at the billiards is income. Whatever! I know it is hard 4U. Have a direct discussion w/ him and be straight w/ him. U can do better alone w/ out a broke buster man, just make sure you can hold a job down on your own. Good luck!
As my mother and aunts would say "You can do bad all by yourself". Meaning what is the point of being with a 'broke, buster man' (I love that! from the above post)...if you are doing badly??? Heck, you can do bad on your own and be better off because at least you'd just have yourself to worry about. Two should be better than one. So if you are with someone else and they are pulling you down...then what's the point of being with that person?
This is why I always STRESS and can't stress enough that women should always be able to handle themselves financially. I wish you the best of luck for your childrens sake. Some men like him NEVER change or grow up....that is the sad reality of it.
This is why I always STRESS and can't stress enough that women should always be able to handle themselves financially. I wish you the best of luck for your childrens sake. Some men like him NEVER change or grow up....that is the sad reality of it.
I don't understand... Why doesn't he think that your finacially situation is dire enough to go get a job? Do you have another income coming in? Are you spending your savings?
And what do you mean by waiting for his night job? Is it already lined up? Is he interviewing? If he already has a job lined up that will start very soon, I can see why he doesn't want to interview and start training for another position, only to leave it in a couple of weeks.
If the situation is as bad as it seems, and your talking to him repeatedly (which sounds like the case) hasn't gotten through to him, I would suggest enlisting the help of his family members. In normal circumstances, I would NOT suggest interference from any family members, but two things come into play here: (1) you need to think about what's best for the baby, and stress over finances and a non-motivated husband should NOT be on your radar because any dr. will tell you how this adversely affects the pregnancy and (2) if it's feasible, and onlyif it's feasible, ask his family to help you persuade him. Asian men have a tendency to be persuaded by their families, and surely, if you have that sort of relationship with his folks, they would see this as helping their unborn grandchild.
*hugs*
Good luck!
And what do you mean by waiting for his night job? Is it already lined up? Is he interviewing? If he already has a job lined up that will start very soon, I can see why he doesn't want to interview and start training for another position, only to leave it in a couple of weeks.
If the situation is as bad as it seems, and your talking to him repeatedly (which sounds like the case) hasn't gotten through to him, I would suggest enlisting the help of his family members. In normal circumstances, I would NOT suggest interference from any family members, but two things come into play here: (1) you need to think about what's best for the baby, and stress over finances and a non-motivated husband should NOT be on your radar because any dr. will tell you how this adversely affects the pregnancy and (2) if it's feasible, and onlyif it's feasible, ask his family to help you persuade him. Asian men have a tendency to be persuaded by their families, and surely, if you have that sort of relationship with his folks, they would see this as helping their unborn grandchild.
*hugs*
Good luck!
yes you need to talk to him. this is UNACCEPTABLE!!
i'm a speechless. how is it fair that you are working while he sits around doing nothing?!?! i don't care what he does. even if he stands on the street to hand out leaflets and brings back $20 that's fine. but he needs to do SOMETHING!!
where does he get $$ from? do you give it to him or have a joint account? you need to stop giving him money and tell him HE should be providing for you and your children!
i'm so sorry to hear this and hope things get better soon. *hugs*
i'm a speechless. how is it fair that you are working while he sits around doing nothing?!?! i don't care what he does. even if he stands on the street to hand out leaflets and brings back $20 that's fine. but he needs to do SOMETHING!!
where does he get $$ from? do you give it to him or have a joint account? you need to stop giving him money and tell him HE should be providing for you and your children!
i'm so sorry to hear this and hope things get better soon. *hugs*