On Soliciting Opinions and Group Think (or mob mentallity??)

[hmwe46]

So I have been quietly pondering this phenom for a while and I decided that in the spirit of the thread itself I should post the thought...

When we start a thread asking for opinions on our SOs, our spending habits, our personal and sometimes private behavior, do we *really* want a host of vastly differing opinions to read and consider--- or do we want validation for our own thoughts???

When we read someone else's posts on their request for opinions, do we tend to get into a group think mode (ack, maybe even somewhat of a mob mentallity!) and forget that even though the post asked for opinions, that the way in which they are shared can be hurtful??

(geez, I should really check tPF motto again and do some shallow obsessing instead, huh??)

 

[boxermom]

I believe most people are open to suggestions and viewpoints other than their own, when they are put in the form of "consider...., or-- in my experience...think about it". When posters assume they know more details than are shared, it comes off as lecturing. PM's that attack are completely out-of-line. Most of all, it irritates the he!! out of me when people offer up advice when they haven't carefully read what the OP asked, as well as the complete thread. Some details become clear with subseqent posts from the OP. (Reminds me of a "Beauty" forum question about a skin care item for someone on a very limited budget--a couple replies suggested very high-end brands--they didn't read the original post completely before dashing off a reply)

Sometimes there appears to be some group-think here, but most members have good hearts. Some could word their relies more sensitively. None of us truly knows what the other person is going through. JMO

 

[hmwe46]

True, all true.

I also think that many don't really count on the wide range of thoughts other may and will offer up.

I am guilty of wanting validation too, esp here

It just strikes me that many of the opinions wanted posts turn ugly when opinions are offered that go against what the post-er wanted to hear (let's see if that happens to me!!! LOL ush

 

[Lvbabydoll]

I do believe that sometimes people want a variety of opinions, especially because there is bound to be at least ONE person who has gone through something similar. I, however, wouldn't be comfortable just posting a very personal topic on a public board. I'd more likely PM a couple of the friends I've made here to see what they think. That's just me though..I don't doubt that people do want the help of others here because it's fairly tight-knit around here and they feel they can trust others' thoughts and opinions on the situation.

 

[kate79]

It just strikes me that many of the opinions wanted posts turn ugly when opinions are offered that go against what the post-er wanted to hear (let's see if that happens to me!!! LOL ush

I've noticed this too. I've actually stopped responding to some opinions wanted posts on certain topics because I've been attacked too many times for voicing a different opinion than the OP. I was actually told my opinion was "wrong" one time....I wasn't aware that opinions could be wrong:s. It's usually something that's not worth arguing about anyway.

 

[Loganz]

True, all true.

I also think that many don't really count on the wide range of thoughts other may and will offer up.

I am guilty of wanting validation too, esp here

It just strikes me that many of the opinions wanted posts turn ugly when opinions are offered that go against what the post-er wanted to hear (let's see if that happens to me!!! LOL ush

very well stated. I'd like to think that if I asked for people's opinions I'd be open to hearing them; but, I am sure that I would pay closest attention to those that gave validation.

At times, I have issue with opinion threads that turn into irresponsible advice threads; but, that is neither here nor there, so nevermind.

 

[caitlin1214]

I do believe that sometimes people want a variety of opinions, especially because there is bound to be at least ONE person who has gone through something similar. I, however, wouldn't be comfortable just posting a very personal topic on a public board. I'd more likely PM a couple of the friends I've made here to see what they think. That's just me though..I don't doubt that people do want the help of others here because it's fairly tight-knit around here and they feel they can trust others' thoughts and opinions on the situation.

I agree with Rebecca. I wouldn't volunteer something personal about myself, but I find that if someone else was going through the same thing, I'll say, "I went through . . . ."

I think people who do make posts asking for opinions generally want to know what other people think. But they need to realize that if they post something just to validate their own thoughts, they shouldn't word it as "What do people think of . . . ?"

 

[merika]

If people just want validation they shouldn't write "What do you think....".

I disagree when there are situations where people advise others "If you disagree with the OP and think this is not for you, then don't post on this thread". That sounds too much like the thread police.

 

[D & G rockstar]

I would like to hear different opinions other than my own.

I think there are a vast variety of opinions here. When it comes to relationships, a majority of the opinions tend to be on one side. And the good thing about opinions, even though they might be on one side is that they're drawn from different experiences.

I look at it in a positive way. But hey, my opinions tend to go against the grain so it's all good!!

If you ask for an opinion, then you should be prepared for all types of answers.

OFF TOPIC, i do like validation on my purse purchases though