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As the Queen’s children and grandsons rushed to Balmoral on Thursday through driving rain to say their last farewells, among them were only two spouses.
One was Camilla, now the Queen Consort. The other, her face stricken, was Sophie, the Countess of Wessex.
In recent years, Prince Edward’s wife formed such a bond with the monarch that she was widely known as “the Queen’s favourite”. When visiting Balmoral or Sandringham, she was often spotted in the coveted spot in the back seat of the Rolls-Royce with the Queen on Sunday morning rides to church, and Buckingham Palace posted a rare birthday tweet on her 57th birthday in January.

The fondness was mutual — in a speech in October 2019 the countess referred to the Queen affectionately as “mama”.

I spent a few days with Sophie in South Sudan two years ago, just before the pandemic stopped travel, as she visited the war-torn country as part of her work campaigning against sexual violence in conflict. We’d had a tough day visiting survivors of harrowing attacks in a hot, smelly and overcrowded camp but her face lit up when I asked her about the Queen and if it was true that they had a particularly close relationship.
“I think so,” she smiled. “I hope so.”
The Queen always wanted to hear about her trips on her return, she said. “She is so interested, particularly in Commonwealth countries. I don’t know how many countries she has visited. Every time I come back from a place she has been there and knows so much.”

Sophie lived just ten miles from Windsor, where the Queen spent much of her time
MARK CUTHBERT/UK PRESS/GETTY IMAGES

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The pair bonded over their interest in military history, apparently spending hours poring over ancient documents in the Royal Archives at Windsor Castle.
What was also clear was their shared sense of dedication and duty. In recent years as an increasingly frail Queen pared down her schedule, Prince Andrew was cast out in disgrace and Prince Harry left with Meghan for California, Sophie emerged as one of Buckingham Palace’s safest pairs of hands. Some courtiers refer to her as “the royals’ secret weapon”.
Last year Sophie was the first member of the royal family to speak publicly about the Duke of Edinburgh’s death, which experts interpreted as an indication of the trust placed in her by the Queen.

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The mutual warmth of their relationship was helped by proximity. She and Prince Edward live just over ten miles away from Windsor Castle at Bagshot Park, the country estate built for Queen Victoria’s third son Prince Arthur, Duke of Connaught and Strathearn, which was given them on their marriage by the Queen, who also paid its running costs.
Sophie and their two children were regular visitors to Windsor. Her eldest, Lady Louise Windsor, now 18, learnt to drive carriages on the estate with her grandfather Prince Philip and paid tribute to him earlier this year at the Royal Windsor Horse Show’s Platinum Jubilee celebrations by driving his carriage in front of a misty-eyed Queen.
During the pandemic, when restrictions were partially lifted, Sophie went for regular walks with the Queen in Windsor Great Park, particularly after Prince Philip’s death when she became her “rock”.

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Earlier this year the Queen appointed her to what had been one of Prince Philip’s military roles — colonel-in-chief of the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers. And yet once upon a time, she and Prince Edward were the black sheep of the family. When she married the queen’s youngest child in 1999, Sophie Rhys-Jones was the first working woman from a middle-class family to marry into the Firm. Her mother was a secretary and father an executive in a tyre company, and she had been working for Capital Radio when she met Prince Edward. She then went on to join a PR firm where she ran campaigns for Mr Blobby and Thomas the Tank Engine.

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Her new husband Edward had previously raised eyebrows when he quit the Marines to pursue a career in TV, starting out by making the much-derided It’s a Royal Knockout in 1987. The medieval-themed one-off game show involved teams led by Prince Edward, Princess Anne, Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, captaining celebrities including Gary Lineker, Dame Kiri Te Kanawa and Meat Loaf. It raised a considerable amount for charity and hauled in huge ratings but was described as an undignified embarrassment.

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Sophie’s time trying to juggle work with a royal marriage was brought to an ignominious end two years after the wedding, when she was duped by the News of the World reporter Mazher Mahmood, known as the Fake Sheikh. Believing him to be a potential client for her PR company, she was caught on tape offering indiscretions about the prime minister of the time, whom she derided as “President Blair”, and his wife Cherie (“horrid, absolutely horrid”) while referring to the Queen as an “old dear”.

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About the same time, Prince Edward’s TV production company broke the Palace’s own privacy rules by filming his nephew William while he was at university.
For some years the couple disappeared from view, eventually deciding that careers were incompatible with royaldom. Edward’s TV production company and Sophie’s PR firm were wound up and they became full-time royals.
Sophie admitted to me it was a struggle and that she did not enjoy royal duties at first, wanting to take over events she attended, “not just be the icing on the cake” as she put it. But over time, helped by the Queen’s guidance, she had learnt to “manage expectations”.
“Certainly I missed it to begin with,” she sighed, talking about giving up her career. “Certainly, it took me a little while to find my feet. But I’ve met some incredible people during the time I’ve been doing royal duties. I’ve learnt a huge amount about an awful lot and now I’ve got this new area [campaigning against war rape] which is enormously challenging and quite an emotional rollercoaster, but I find hugely rewarding.”
When we got back from the trip I went to Bagshot for tea where I asked her what she saw as the role of a royal family in the 21st century?
“Gosh!” she replied. “I would hope the consistency of us being there, the Queen being such an amazing monarch as she has been for so long, I hope we carry on being able to do the same.”

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