Do you think how you look has helped or hindered you?

#91
ValleyO said:
You and I are the same creature- some days I see myself in the mirror and think "damn I'm actually good looking!" and other days I don't want to leave the house because I find myself unattractive and can't imagine other people seeing me that way (It's never actually stopped me from doing anything but it's still weird to think about how others see you).
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isn't that strange?

that's why sometimes i wish, even though i know it's juvenile and frivolous, that someone would tell me, definitively, "you're attractive", or "you're ugly". even though that would be just their personal opinion- yet another completely subjective view of me, no objective, true gauge. meaning i'd immediately start questioning what they might REALLY mean. if it's sincere or not- and if it is, if their opinion could possibly be "right" or not....ahhhh..even more confusion!

i think it's just something we have to decide for ourselves. decide to have faith that the day when we find ourselves to be decent looking are the days when the "truth" peeks out and shows itself to us. and stick to that idea. so we can come back to it and hold onto it on days when we feel less than stellar about ourselves.

because no one will ever really tell you the "truth" about how you look. because, really, there is no truth besides what we choose it to be!

we owe it to ourselves to choose well, right?:tup:
 
#92
I'm tall and attractive, and I can't deny that looking the way I do has given me opportunities. Men have always been nicer to me, always more willing to go out of their ways to help, and I tend to get more attention than my girl friends.

The flip side of that is that sometimes I lose friendships cos the guys are unable to get over my looks, and the fact that I'm not interested in them that way :sad:

At the same time, I'm not so gorgeous that women are intimidated to be around me, so I don't have an issue about women being jealous. So in general, people are nicer, and treat me better.

However, there have been cases wherein women feel the need to be mean about my height - OMG! You're SO tall (I'm Asian, but 6 feet tall :P)! Must be really hard to find men tall enough to go out on dates with. Tsk tsk.

Depending on how snarky I feel that day, I sometimes bother (or not) to inform that I've no interest to go out on dates since I've been with the bf for 7 years now :rolleyes:

All in all, I'm happy with my lot in life, and I constantly remind myself how blessed that I am to look the way I do (hard to do on fat days *sigh*), have enough smarts to earn and keep the respect after the initial leeway given, and most importantly, how the bf really likes the way I look, and tells me even after 7 years of togetherness :love:

Sorry if I sound conceited. But I've pondered about this question before, and so have had the time to think about it.
 
#93
chanelbaby said:
I won't call myself a natural beauty at all but to answer the question, I have noticed when I am thinner and look what people might call "pretty" I know I get better service in shops, people smile more at me and are also alot more patient
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This is SOOO true in my experience as well. Now that I'm overweight, I really think that I could go around in a Bozo wig wearing a tutu and I don't think people would notice at all. Looks DEFINITELY does make a difference from employment to just general everyday living.

BTW: just based on looking at the posts/pics in this thread, you ladies are some nice looking people!
 
#94
Interesting thread. I wasn't pretty when I was young but I don't think it really ever hindered me in any major way. Part of it was probably because I didn't know that I wasn't pretty. I started looking much nicer when I was 18 and I got my first job. I think my looks definitely helped me. I was a very hard worker but I don't think I would've gotten the job advancements I got if I didn't look like someone the company could see in a higher position. For example, after 3 months of working, my job sent me to support a new store opening in another city and they made me a supervisor.
 
#95
Nymph said:
However, there have been cases wherein women feel the need to be mean about my height - OMG! You're SO tall (I'm Asian, but 6 feet tall :P)! Must be really hard to find men tall enough to go out on dates with. Tsk tsk.
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I totally know how you feel! I'm also Asian, although only half. My other half is Czech, and I'm 5'10 barefoot and women and men are always commenting on my height! Sometimes it drives me insane, and other times not so much. I do think men are more intimidated by my height because I get more comments from men than I do women, especially when I've got my 4" heels on! :upsidedown:
 
#96
Both I'd say.
I have a very personable look and can be very charismatic; my clients/friends love me and find me very approachable.
Hinder-me in a way that since I look so "helpful", I get myself into many situations when I just cannot say no.
 
#97
I dunno, I've always been told I was pretty. Even when I was like 12 or 13, and personally, I think then I looked like a little troll w/ no make up and bad hair...LOL. But I had this one cousin who, every time she would see me, she would tell my mom that I was so pretty for my age. Not sure what that meant...lol. In my last job (before I moved) I never got into trouble when my coworkers, who would do the same things I did, act the same way, etc...would get in trouble. I was never yelled at by my boss. I don't know if it has anything to do w/ it. And I would always have customers describe me as "the pretty one." I dunno. The bad part was, whenever a pretty girl was hired, they would think we should compete or something. Like they compared everything we did. And now, at my husband's work, all of the men tell my husband how lucky he is, but none of the women like me. I think if you are pretty, sometimes other women automatically assume you are a hussy. The wives of the guys my husband work with seem to not like me because of things their husbands may have said. I don't know how it's my fault, but I get treated accordingly sometimes.
 
#100
:upsidedown: I do have a pair of very nice legs that never needs shaving, never needs hiding, always baby smooth naturally..........

all positives as I never have to spend a dime on shaving creams or razors.... and greener too! Does that count as well???
 
#101
It depends, I am not stunningly beautiful but I can admit I am pretty and with TONS of make-up on...:sweatdrop: but combined with my sense of humor it's a huge bonus. I am the funniest person alive, I doubt it translates well online but I can bring people to tears with just a couple of words. I can joke about everything and anything. Men really like me, always have. Teachers, service attendants, waitors, even my Vet gives me ridiculous discounts, LOL....Women despise me on the other hand...and again, I am not beautiful enough for them to be jealous so maybe my personality attracts men only.
 
#104
cutiepie21 said:
I totally know how you feel! I'm also Asian, although only half. My other half is Czech, and I'm 5'10 barefoot and women and men are always commenting on my height! Sometimes it drives me insane, and other times not so much. I do think men are more intimidated by my height because I get more comments from men than I do women, especially when I've got my 4" heels on! :upsidedown:
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Definitely! I think the guys are more intimidated, especially when they are interested. Women couldn't care less how tall you are if everyone's just being friendly. Boy. I couldn't do 4" heels ever. I'm just not graceful enough :rolleyes:
 
#105
This thread has been way interesting!

Last night I was watching "How to look good naked". I hadn't seen it before and I LOVED it - these are REAL women in REAL bodies. The one I saw was a young woman who had cancer recently and she was a bit pudgy. She was built SOOOOOOO much like me (just about 30 pounds lighter) that to see her naked INITIALLY (well, in her bra and panties) was shocking and "ew" to me... But then they had her go to a lineup of plus sized women with similar builds and had her place herself where she belonged. She "belonged" second skinniest and she put herself 3 heaviest (about 4 women too heavy). Ironically, she placed herself where I probably belong.

But what was interesting is how she SAW her body - she saw it as 4 inches bigger in the waist than she is!!! And I was just FLOORED and wanted to applaud the women standing up there. They were showing on TV what is NEVER shown and it's about time.

Anyway... they had her body up on a billboard and asked random people what they though and she got a lot of positive comments (though, I'm sure there was TONS of snickering and lewd and nasty comments too that they DIDN'T show) and as the show progressed you saw this woman coming to terms with her body and beginning to see that even in her current size, she was still sexy and beautiful and even "I" at the end when she has her hair done and makeup on and taking NUDE photos realized, "this woman is beautiful - period." Now... if I could just convince myself that even FAT, I'm still attractive, that would be a start, because if you FEEL beautiful, you APPEAR beautiful to everyone and it is TRUE, TRUE, TRUE!!!

It was an eye opener for me too. I have an hour glass figure (or as I jokingly call it, a 12-hour glass figure), just BIG! LOL and I can love it now and as I work it down to a smaller hour glass figure! LOL
 
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