Would you help a friend/relative to buy a Hermes bag?

[junngch]

Recently I received more and more requests from friends, relatives or friends of friends to buy Hermes bags for them. The requests are always very popular bags(B,K,C, L, or P) with specific color and size. When I asked them why they don't buy the bags themselves, their responses are always that they don't want to buy other non-bag products. They know that there is pre-spend/relationship requirement to get a bag so they think it should be easier for me to get them one since I already have a collection of bags. I had to explain to them that it's very hard for me to be offered a bag these days too. At first, I tried to help one friend to get a non QB she wants. She was very specific regarding the color that I had to check with my SA regarding the availability several times and at the end, she told me she wants a QB instead. I ended telling her that she should consider buying from a reseller as I have been waiting for my QB for more than a year. She replied that she doesn't want to pay the premium on it. It strikes me that I am used as a free-ride for all these bag requests. Wondering how other people would handle the situation. Thanks for sharing your experience or thoughts on this.

 

[mmmv_W]

I was in the same situation, and back then I was so afraid to say "no" to people. so I paid the price and learned my lesson.
It just like when you friends in college ask you to help them cheat.
if you worried about hurting your relationship with them, or their feeling, could borrow the "typical" Hermes SA term, e.g. something like I will try; sorry they don't have any, etc..
well, eventually you will have to say "no" to stop them IMO, cuz don't think they'r going to stop if they still see possibility that can take advantage of you.

 

[junngch]

I was in the same situation, and back then I was so afraid to say "no" to people. so I paid the price and learned my lesson.
It just like when you friends in college ask you to help them cheat.
if you worried about hurting your relationship with them, or their feeling, could borrow the "typical" Hermes SA term, e.g. something like I will try; sorry they don't have any, etc..
well, eventually you will have to say "no" to stop them IMO, cuz don't think they'r going to stop if they still see possibility that can take advantage of you.

Thanks for sharing your experience and sorry to hear that you were taken advantage of. You are absolutely right that they don't stop after I told them the store doesn't have any inventory(which is true) and would tell me to keep trying. I don't even feel they realize it's a big favor to ask and probably won't appreciate much after they get the bag they want.

 

[hbr]

different relationships have different rules and different boundaries. Something you would do for your family you may not do for a friend of a friend. With that being said, if this makes you uncomfortable, you have to follow your gut and not do something that doesn’t feel right to you. If those people have a hard time accepting your boundaries and what you are willing or not willing to do, that’s not your problem. I know it sounds really harsh, but trust me the longer you let the behavior continue the harder it is to stop it from happening.

 

[A bottle of Red]

I was in the same situation, and back then I was so afraid to say "no" to people. so I paid the price and learned my lesson.
It just like when you friends in college ask you to help them cheat.
if you worried about hurting your relationship with them, or their feeling, could borrow the "typical" Hermes SA term, e.g. something like I will try; sorry they don't have any, etc..
well, eventually you will have to say "no" to stop them IMO, cuz don't think they'r going to stop if they still see possibility that can take advantage of you.

Oh no what happened?

 

[inverved]

I would start off by saying that your SA is at full capacity with clients and is not taking any new clients at the moment, if they ask you to refer them as a client. If they ask you to buy bags under your account, just say that you're on a low-buy year, so the chance of you getting an offer is slim. I would be very covert with your "new purchases" if you go down that route...

 

[lill_canele]

Short answer: no.

If I truly trusted my friend or family member, I would recommend my SA. (as in I trust them not to berate my SA for a bag and not waste my SA’s time) That’s the farthest I would go.

At the end of the day, it is a non-essential item. It’s not necessary for me to “help” them for something like that.

 

[addiCCted]

Wondering how other people would handle the situation.

Unfriend…..lol. Jk…kind of hahaha

but that part about “but I don’t want to pay a premium” or “but I don’t want to buy other stuff”

Uh hello~…..I think most people would prefer they can just get a Kelly in the side and color they want right here right now without relationship building. So your friend wants you to pay the price for her??? And then to say it out loud. Seriously does she not hear herself?

 

[ClassicTwist]

I've bought bags as gifts for my mother but I've let my SA know it's for her. I also asked him if he'd help a friend buy a GP and I put them in touch. Otherwise, no. It just wouldn't sit right with me.

 

[luckygirl31]

I hope you do not take this the wrong way, but why do all these people feel so comfortable telling you (not asking) to buy these bags for you?

When it is one person, they could just be rude.But when it is even a friend of a friend after you told them to vent for themselves, i think these people see you as a people pleaser and do not respect your boundaries (not only your Hermes boundaries).
Maybe look more inward so you can find what you need to change.

Do not get me wrong, these people are really rude but i have experience with this behavior and i was the people pleaser so they just kept pushing when i said no because they knew i couldn’t reinforce my boundaries.

I would say something along the lines of ‘You told me you understand how Hermes works with prespend etc, so you should understand why I told you no and you should try yourself or through a reseller. And i would appreciate it if you do NOT bring this matter up in the future’

If they distance themselves from you, you have seen their true face. If they keep bringing it up, I would cut ties personally.

I hope you appreciate this advice as i wish you and others the best!

 

[horselove]

Helping family with getting bags is a no no in my experience (what more friends). It will add unnecessary stress to your life. Even if you successfully help them get a bag, if there are any perceived defects you will be their go to person to complain, as if it’s your fault the sewing is uneven. There will be little appreciation for your effort and you will be expected to come through for other relatives and again for the next bag. Don’t go there at all is my advice

 

[junngch]

different relationships have different rules and different boundaries. Something you would do for your family you may not do for a friend of a friend. With that being said, if this makes you uncomfortable, you have to follow your gut and not do something that doesn’t feel right to you. If those people have a hard time accepting your boundaries and what you are willing or not willing to do, that’s not your problem. I know it sounds really harsh, but trust me the longer you let the behavior continue the harder it is to stop it from happening.

I would start off by saying that your SA is at full capacity with clients and is not taking any new clients at the moment, if they ask you to refer them as a client. If they ask you to buy bags under your account, just say that you're on a low-buy year, so the chance of you getting an offer is slim. I would be very covert with your "new purchases" if you go down that route...

Short answer: no.

If I truly trusted my friend or family member, I would recommend my SA. (as in I trust them not to berate my SA for a bag and not waste my SA’s time) That’s the farthest I would go.

At the end of the day, it is a non-essential item. It’s not necessary for me to “help” them for something like that.

Unfriend…..lol. Jk…kind of hahaha

but that part about “but I don’t want to pay a premium” or “but I don’t want to buy other stuff”

Uh hello~…..I think most people would prefer they can just get a Kelly in the side and color they want right here right now without relationship building. So your friend wants you to pay the price for her??? And then to say it out loud. Seriously does she not hear herself?

I've bought bags as gifts for my mother but I've let my SA know it's for her. I also asked him if he'd help a friend buy a GP and I put them in touch. Otherwise, no. It just wouldn't sit right with me.

I hope you do not take this the wrong way, but why do all these people feel so comfortable telling you (not asking) to buy these bags for you?

When it is one person, they could just be rude.But when it is even a friend of a friend after you told them to vent for themselves, i think these people see you as a people pleaser and do not respect your boundaries (not only your Hermes boundaries).
Maybe look more inward so you can find what you need to change.

Do not get me wrong, these people are really rude but i have experience with this behavior and i was the people pleaser so they just kept pushing when i said no because they knew i couldn’t reinforce my boundaries.

I would say something along the lines of ‘You told me you understand how Hermes works with prespend etc, so you should understand why I told you no and you should try yourself or through a reseller. And i would appreciate it if you do NOT bring this matter up in the future’

If they distance themselves from you, you have seen their true face. If they keep bringing it up, I would cut ties personally.

I hope you appreciate this advice as i wish you and others the best!

Helping family with getting bags is a no no in my experience (what more friends). It will add unnecessary stress to your life. Even if you successfully help them get a bag, if there are any perceived defects you will be their go to person to complain, as if it’s your fault the sewing is uneven. There will be little appreciation for your effort and you will be expected to come through for other relatives and again for the next bag. Don’t go there at all is my advice

Truly appreciate all your feedbacks and advice and they are all very good points! I will start to develop some boundaries not only for Hermes but also for my personal life.

Yes, I don’t feel comfortable saying no to others and I usually try to help people when the favor is small or won’t hurt me. I buy other luxury brand bags from Europe when I travel or iPhones in US for my friends/relatives in another continent so they can save money on the price difference which it ok since those products are usually available in the store.

Hermes bag is a totally different level that I feel stressed out to keep bothering my SA for the exact bag spec they asked for while I myself would have taken a slightly different spec instead. Fortunately those friends/relatives are out of state so I don’t have to worry about introducing them to my SA, which would be a a disaster. horselove has a good point that I would be the person to complain if there is any issue with the bag or even worse case that they want to return the bag. I was recently complained by a family member in another continent that the iphone I bought doesn’t have SIM card slot and he has no idea how to switch to eSIM card that I had to search online and provide all the instructions on how to do so.

I don’t have any friend/relative who has bought a Hermes bag. They used to say Hermes bags are too expensive and probably judged me for spending too much on the bags. Things have changed recently that some of them start wanting to buy one. I asked them why and they said it’s no longer expensive compared to Chanel😅. Anyway, I am really grateful that we have this forum to share the information and support for each other as I don’t have anyone else in real life to resonate😀.

 

[jellyv]

Hi, can I take advantage of your hard-won Hermes success and use your many dollars of spending in the brand solely for my own benefit, and with absolutely no benefit to you but also the potential of a bad outcome for you?


Answer that honestly.

 

[scndlslv]

"No" is a complete sentence.

 

[rumes]

Recently I received more and more requests from friends, relatives or friends of friends to buy Hermes bags for them. The requests are always very popular bags(B,K,C, L, or P) with specific color and size. When I asked them why they don't buy the bags themselves, their responses are always that they don't want to buy other non-bag products. They know that there is pre-spend/relationship requirement to get a bag so they think it should be easier for me to get them one since I already have a collection of bags. I had to explain to them that it's very hard for me to be offered a bag these days too. At first, I tried to help one friend to get a non QB she wants. She was very specific regarding the color that I had to check with my SA regarding the availability several times and at the end, she told me she wants a QB instead. I ended telling her that she should consider buying from a reseller as I have been waiting for my QB for more than a year. She replied that she doesn't want to pay the premium on it. It strikes me that I am used as a free-ride for all these bag requests. Wondering how other people would handle the situation. Thanks for sharing your experience or thoughts on this.

Hello ladies,

While I'm a bit nervous sharing my story here, I trust in the sisterhood of Hermes and believe you won't judge me.

Three years ago, a friend used her own appointment for me, and thanks to her, I became the owner of a b25 Togo rhw etoupe. And in the same week, on my birthday, I was diagnosed with cancer.

Chemotherapy rooms became my baby's playground.

I'm still undergoing treatment, and we have to go to Paris in mid-June. I say "have to" because since the day I was diagnosed with cancer, I haven't been celebrating my birthday, and I was refusing to go to Paris.

During this time, I bought an oran and twilly from Italy, and I also purchased makeup products a few times from Istanbul.

Honestly, in my heart, I desire the RHW Rouge Grenat Constance Long Wallet and the Vert Jade Epsom GHW K25.

We'll be staying in the city for a month, and during that time, I'll definitely do some small shopping. But as a cancer patient, I don't have the energy to make such a significant expenditure to buy a K25. What would your suggestion be for me?

I'm sending you a photo of my chemotherapy budy as well. ❤️

dearest Junngch,

Right here i shared my story of my B25...

A beloved friend's sister bought it for me. I got cancer the week we bought the bag. Throughout all my treatments, it adorned my chemotherapy room. After mastectomy, instead of physiotherapy, I began using my arms again by carrying B25. I don't know if the answer to the question is very difficult. If my friend hadn't done me this kindness, I would have started my battle with cancer without experiencing the taste of something materially important that I had dreamed of. Listen to your heart. If you truly believe someone deserves it, I think you should never turn down a request for help. God will always send you more than what you give.