Would you be angry over something like this?

TPF may earn a commission from merchant affiliate
links, including eBay, Amazon, and others

I would not be angry, but irritated. I've had a collegaue filing her nails halfway over my bag. I had yto tell her to stop. She didn't notice herself. And it happended in the kitchen which I think makes it even worse.
 
I was indeed more irritated than angry. I avoided this individual for the rest of the day, but eventually got over it, as she really is a good person - just somewhat messy and scatterbrained. I usually put my bag into a cabinet but that day I stepped away from my desk to welcome somebody else back - went up to this person's desk to give her a hug. When I saw the other individual holding the sandwich over my bag, my heart skipped a beat, but I didn't say anything because there were more people standing up and talking, and I didn't want to make a big deal out of this in front of the others. I just can't believe that people can be this careless. I would never do something like this at somebody's desk. I guess manners are just not a big thing anymore.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mariapia
I was indeed more irritated than angry. I avoided this individual for the rest of the day, but eventually got over it, as she really is a good person - just somewhat messy and scatterbrained. I usually put my bag into a cabinet but that day I stepped away from my desk to welcome somebody else back - went up to this person's desk to give her a hug. When I saw the other individual holding the sandwich over my bag, my heart skipped a beat, but I didn't say anything because there were more people standing up and talking, and I didn't want to make a big deal out of this in front of the others. I just can't believe that people can be this careless. I would never do something like this at somebody's desk. I guess manners are just not a big thing anymore.

We all get absent-minded at times and I think you were quite gracious to not embarrass her in front of others, that shows class on your part!
 
  • Like
Reactions: remainsilly
hmmm I wont be angry but I would certainly be irritated. I would absolutely either say something or do something that would make it known that it's not okay. I'm surprised at how many people just "let it slide". While it's nice to see so many are so accommodating, it's troubling to me in a different aspect. I find that people are more and more "oblivious" and "absent-minded" over basic social manners. To me, the words in quotes in prior sentence are "excuses". Yes, we can and are all oblivious or absentminded sometimes. The difference is whether or not one cares enough to recognize that this should be the exception and not the norm and just "shrug" it off like it's nothing when it inconvenience others. The self awareness to know it's not cool and feel slightly embarrassed about it to avoid doing whatever it is in the future.

I mean we human have to coexist. we dont live alone as a specie. Basic things that as human who live in a shared common society/community should have the courtesy to be taught by one's parents/teachers, etc. and observe should be respected and expected.

These social norms are now "overlooked" because we feel "it's not worth the trouble" or "it's not my problem" or for fear of being called names - we all want to be cool. However, I believe in holding people and myself accountable, for basic simple things. if we don't set some basic standards, there will be no standards. if we don't hold each other accountable, then what is this society going to be like when we're all mindless oblivious idiots? :p who do we blame? those who are raised to live life obliviously? or the society who made it okay because we don't show them what the basic expectation of courtesy is? we shouldnt be so afraid of setting the bar that there would be none and when one shows expectations - everybody's shocked...?!

Ok... crazy person rant over :lol:
 
Last edited:

Hahahaha! Much ado about nothing imo. We're all different (thank goodness!). Now that OP knows how messy some of her workmates are I guess she can protect her handbag in the future a bit better. I know I would be a bit more proactive protecting it if I felt that irritated about the whole event.
I wish all problems could be solved that easily....:yes:
 
  • Like
Reactions: remainsilly
Hahahaha! Much ado about nothing imo. We're all different (thank goodness!). Now that OP knows how messy some of her workmates are I guess she can protect her handbag in the future a bit better. I know I would be a bit more proactive protecting it if I felt that irritated about the whole event.
I wish all problems could be solved that easily....:yes:
Hmm, I agree that all in all an object is just an object; however, for someone battling with OCD these things are not so simple to just move beyond. Moreover, this individual knows that I am very particular about now wanting dirt, crumbs, and debris in general around my belongings and space, so I think that she should have known better. If I, for example, know that a certain individual is very particular about something, I would think 30 times before I would do something careless around that something. As somebody had pointed out above, I was not vocal about the situation because in today's society I would have probably been more ostracized for being particular about something like this than that individual would have been for her carelessness and lack of thinking.

That is to say that obviously this is not the end of the world, and she did not cause any damage to my bag, but I was sincerely irritated with her the day I started this thread, and I just wanted to see what others would think.
 
Hmm, I agree that all in all an object is just an object; however, for someone battling with OCD these things are not so simple to just move beyond. Moreover, this individual knows that I am very particular about now wanting dirt, crumbs, and debris in general around my belongings and space, so I think that she should have known better. If I, for example, know that a certain individual is very particular about something, I would think 30 times before I would do something careless around that something. As somebody had pointed out above, I was not vocal about the situation because in today's society I would have probably been more ostracized for being particular about something like this than that individual would have been for her carelessness and lack of thinking.

That is to say that obviously this is not the end of the world, and she did not cause any damage to my bag, but I was sincerely irritated with her the day I started this thread, and I just wanted to see what others would think.

Had you stated at the outset that you battle OCD (which is a real challenge) then your responses may have been different. And you also didn't disclose that this person "knows that I am very particular about now wanting dirt, crumbs, and debris in general around my belongings and space, so I think that she should have known better."
All of that info is a game changer in how others may have responded to your initial post.
 
Had you stated at the outset that you battle OCD (which is a real challenge) then your responses may have been different. And you also didn't disclose that this person "knows that I am very particular about now wanting dirt, crumbs, and debris in general around my belongings and space, so I think that she should have known better."
All of that info is a game changer in how others may have responded to your initial post.
I wanted unbiased opinions. However, it appears that many people on here find this sort of behavior to be disrespectful regardless of the circumstances.
 
I wanted unbiased opinions. However, it appears that many people on here find this sort of behavior to be disrespectful regardless of the circumstances.

Not at all but if one has some expectations beyond the norm then it would help to disclose that at the outset.
No one here is judging, it just helps to set the stage.......no worries. The more information shared at the beginning is appreciated.
 
hmmm I wont be angry but I would certainly be irritated. I would absolutely either say something or do something that would make it known that it's not okay. I'm surprised at how many people just "let it slide". While it's nice to see so many are so accommodating, it's troubling to me in a different aspect. I find that people are more and more "oblivious" and "absent-minded" over basic social manners. To me, the words in quotes in prior sentence are "excuses". Yes, we can and are all oblivious or absentminded sometimes. The difference is whether or not one cares enough to recognize that this should be the exception and not the norm and just "shrug" it off like it's nothing when it inconvenience others. The self awareness to know it's not cool and feel slightly embarrassed about it to avoid doing whatever it is in the future.

I mean we human have to coexist. we dont live alone as a specie. Basic things that as human who live in a shared common society/community should have the courtesy to be taught by one's parents/teachers, etc. and observe should be respected and expected.

These social norms are now "overlooked" because we feel "it's not worth the trouble" or "it's not my problem" or for fear of being called names - we all want to be cool. However, I believe in holding people and myself accountable, for basic simple things. if we don't set some basic standards, there will be no standards. if we don't hold each other accountable, then what is this society going to be like when we're all mindless oblivious idiots? :p who do we blame? those who are raised to live life obliviously? or the society who made it okay because we don't show them what the basic expectation of courtesy is? we shouldnt be so afraid of setting the bar that there would be none and when one shows expectations - everybody's shocked...?!

Ok... crazy person rant over :lol:

You aren't crazy. Being rude / oblivious is a choice. It's a choice of saying that your right to act as your wish is more important than being considerate of others. And it's a poor choice.

I 100% agree with you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Vanana
I wanted unbiased opinions. However, it appears that many people on here find this sort of behavior to be disrespectful regardless of the circumstances.
I don't believe that you need to have a sickness (like OCD) to deserve basic social respect. :flowers:
I will respect your space and your belongings because I value mine and appreciate it when others respectfully do the same for me.
It's okay, we are all different indeed. However, I don't see rudeness or being oblivious as "individuality" nor expectation for basic respect for each other an intrusion to people's "rights" :shrug: Yes, I believe in one's right to be rude. I just don't like it.
Because, if we don't have expectations, it will soon be no big deal when my children or their children see people taking out a nail clipper and start clipping their nails on the subway next to them as we're all different (yes I've seen that happen - I for one thinks it's disgusting and not just that we're different. if that person's nail clipping get on my bag, you bet i'd tell him). It will soon be no big deal when people just throw trash out of their car windows, it will soon be no big deal when the guy next to you on the plane takes his shoes and socks off and put his legs up with his feet touching your legs/stuff (yes I've seen that too).... I personally feel that these people are too different for my taste. if that's evolution... then eeek! I prefer to be old school...
I feel a moral obligation to make a difference. I'm not saying we should be mean about it, because in majority of cases it's harmless (like your situation) and not intentional, but just a gentle nudge sometimes I feel goes a long way. I'm not saying we solve world hunger. I'm just saying I feel an obligation to offer others another perspective that they may one day reflect on and consider the next time. I sure hope you don't feel "prosecuted" for doing so. :)
It's like holding the door open for someone while they mindlessly walk through staring at their phone. Is it intentional? probably not. Is it rude? I personally think so. Do you have to be OCD or sick to feel disrespected or disappointed at the rudeness? I think not. I don't have OCD but I'd feel the same annoyance that you do. But that's just me. I guess that makes me an uptight pretentious person... eh, I guess I'll put on my nerdy librarian outfit :p
I still wave at the drivers who let me drive in front of them when changing lanes. I expect that of myself and also because when someone else show me the same courtesy, I nod back because it makes my day better knowing people are still nice and respectful.
It's increasingly obvious that the thinking today has changed drastically. It is the generation of entitlement. we all "deserve" so much by default.
Hey, I'm not better than anyone and I have my "off" days too. However, I choose to expect more of myself and try to be better at coexisting with others, and to care enough to be a decent fellow human being that they don't mind being around.
I know it doesn't make me "funny" or "cool" or "carefree" and probably make me sound like the grumpy old guy that tells the kids to "get off my lawn!". I guess I'm okay with that. :p
No one here meant any disrespect, that's obvious... but sometimes tones can unintentionally appear to be accusatory so I guess try not to mind it too much :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sparkletastic
True but sometimes the original action is offensive and deserves a response. Ignoring things isn't always the best option. In fact I find it rarely is.
Lamb, responses are a choice.
And not everyone flies into a sh!t fit over dropped crumbs.
Some just find it funny. Then move on.

Of course ignoring everything is not okay.
But picking battles one finds important saves sooooo much time & stress.
 
  • Like
Reactions: alansgail
Top