Does anyone have the new 2020 spring line up? I hope they finally come out with some unique ideas and not re-hash the same ol' safety yellow styles. I have outlets that look like they've been bombed by Big Bird. They were cool 40 years ago, now they just remind me of desperate old botoxed and spray tanned "IT girls" who still want to believe they're hot while drinking Bartles and Jaymes wine coolers in their poofy hairstyles and hugely shoulder padded blazers. Lordy, I hope things have changed.

I haven’t thought of Bartles & James since high school!
Now I've heard of this new-fangled technology...what is it called??...something like "wireless"?? I dunno. Sounds sketchy to me. Give me an old fashioned electricity run appliance or tool you can use anywhere thanks to EXTENSION CORDS. I mean, when you have to dismember a body with a skill saw so it fits into a weighted box to dispose of it into the deepest part of a lake (DON'T get all judgmental on me now, I'm asking for a friend), are you really going to trust this "wireless" mumbo-jumbo to come through? Yeah, right. Now that my stock portfolio has tripled and then some, I want to operate my power tools in high designer style, like at the end of my driveway, so I can show off to all my neighbors that "I've arrived". So I NEED some designer EC's with street cred. I'll check in with LV and
Gucci. If they don't come through, I'll check with Bottega Veneta. I could go for a intrecciato woven leather cord. I'll bet nobody else on my block has one.