Upgrading a Promise Ring?

[barcreperie]

^^^

It is my understanding that it is an "engaged to be engaged"" sort of a thing. My DH gave my a promise ring when we were in high school - too young to be engaged (for us) but we were very committed to each other.

Thank you Greenpixie!

I agree with the others that it sounds like you're looking to upgrade the promise ring to an engagement ring. A 1.5 carat solitaire worn on the wedding ring finger is definitely an engagement ring, no matter how you slice it. I also agree that it would probably seem ungrateful to your boyfriend to ask for an upgrade in the current situation and especially since he didn't give you the promise ring so long ago. It sounds like the ring he gave you is appropriate for its purpose as a promise ring. What you're looking to upgrade to isn't appropriate, it's an engagement ring.

The disconnect might be that your boyfriend is a little old for a promise ring arrangement, while you're probably not too old for it, but close. Perhaps you really *are* looking to be engaged?

 

[sinniebunnie]

What is a promise ring? Is it a 'going steady' kind of thing, or a 'pre-engagement' type thing? I've never heard of them before reading about them on this forum, and had asked in another thread what they are, but don't think anyone responded. Is this something that's done in the U.S., or is it traditional in another area? Thanks!

Promise to one day be engaged when financially can be afforded. i'm hitting my 4th year in my relationship and we have no plans of marriage for another 3-5yrs min. It wouldnt be ideal to get engaged/married without both being financially stable aka home and career. We hooked up when i was 18 and i am 22 now. I am guessing 25 engaged and 27/28 marriage.

 

[jillybean307]

Thank you Greenpixie!

I agree with the others that it sounds like you're looking to upgrade the promise ring to an engagement ring. A 1.5 carat solitaire worn on the wedding ring finger is definitely an engagement ring, no matter how you slice it. I also agree that it would probably seem ungrateful to your boyfriend to ask for an upgrade in the current situation and especially since he didn't give you the promise ring so long ago. It sounds like the ring he gave you is appropriate for its purpose as a promise ring. What you're looking to upgrade to isn't appropriate, it's an engagement ring.

The disconnect might be that your boyfriend is a little old for a promise ring arrangement, while you're probably not too old for it, but close. Perhaps you really *are* looking to be engaged?

I agree with this comment.

 

[Couture Dreams]

thanks everyone. its not that im not looking for the commitment of an engagement rather that we both dont feel we are in the right points in our lives. i mean we are as committed as it gets.. we live together, share finances.. we have a dog together... we're headed down that road, but to be engaged isnt what we want right now. i at least want to finish school. before all of that.

i just asked because i saw it (with him) he likes it as well and i can have it if i want... but i wasnt sure if i wanted it. i myself thought it may be a bit inappropriate., but you know.. i love things that are shiny.
it was between the new ring or earrings as a birthday/anniversary present... and its clear that the earrings are the way to go. haha i was momentarily blinded by the bling.

thanks for all of your honesty!

 

[chinadoll724]

thanks everyone. its not that im not looking for the commitment of an engagement rather that we both dont feel we are in the right points in our lives. i mean we are as committed as it gets.. we live together, share finances.. we have a dog together... we're headed down that road, but to be engaged isnt what we want right now. i at least want to finish school. before all of that.

i just asked because i saw it (with him) he likes it as well and i can have it if i want... but i wasnt sure if i wanted it. i myself thought it may be a bit inappropriate., but you know.. i love things that are shiny.
it was between the new ring or earrings as a birthday/anniversary present... and its clear that the earrings are the way to go. haha i was momentarily blinded by the bling.

thanks for all of your honesty!

No problem You're a very lucky girl- and waiting sounds very smart at this point. Come back and post pictures of the earrings and enjoy!