The Etiquette of Gift-giving and Receiving Bags in the 2020s?

[limom]

I sometimes give bags but only with a gift receipt so the person can always return and get what they want if they don’t like it.
I pick a brand the person wears to get more chance of a successful match.
c’est le geste qui compte.

 

[hmn002]

I gift bags only to my mom and sister, and that’s only when I know exactly what they want. I have received bags as gifts from my parents and husband. They would either buy it with me, or I would send my husband an exact picture/link, LOL.

I want my family to use and love whatever gift they receive, so we all make sure to gift each other exactly what we want—or if unsure, with a gift receipt! My feelings do not get hurt when the gifts I give are returned/exchanged; and luckily, my husband/family’s feelings don’t either!

 

[papertiger]

I’m the fussy one in the family when it comes to bags (and shoes), so I don’t get bags as presents because usually the bags I like are out of budget for my family members.
But I gifted bags, both to mum and sister, and they were pretty happy and used them a lot.
Usually it is Coccinelle or Furla, which have nice leather at a decent price point.
I gifted some LV SLG to my nieces and they obviously were very happy with them!

I know most people go the other way, but my mother shopped at Chanel and Gucci etc for most of her life but later preferred buying and wearing Coccinelle, Furla and Le Tanneur. I also bought her some very nice Etro bags for the beach and the evening.

I have only been gifted ONE bag ever, and it's beautiful, but it's sat in its dustbag on my shelf since receiving bec it's too heavyfor me to carry for now (medical) and overall just impractical.

I am really bad about gifts--I don't really want a surprise, ever, and I'd rather have the "here's a gift card or a budget to buy this item." If I don't get the gift card I usually just don't bother with buying it.

I think that many bag collectors would rather buy their own. It's really hard for others (especially non-bag-lovers) to appreciate how personal and important every detail is, including weight.

 

[papertiger]

Our family's gift-giving practice.... we are particular about our handbags so grown-ups do not buy bags for other grown-ups unless a specific one is requested in response to the question "What would you like for christmas?"

We are the same with clothing, perfume, jewelry, etc. Anything we collect, really. We give more universal and consummable gifts like bath sets, throw blankets, gourmet chocolates, etc.. things from their favorite brands. We all tend to buy what we want when we want (within reason, of course) throughout the year and do not put a large emphasis (or dollar amount) on gifts during the holidays. We always celebrate the holidays and give gifts.. just prefer giving and receiving those luxuries we are less likely to buy ourselves!

That's a great idea, nothing to stay around for long but very enjoyable while it lasts

 

[maryg1]

I know most people go the other way, but my mother shopped at Chanel and Gucci etc for most of her life but later preferred buying and wearing Coccinelle, Furla and Le Tanneur. I also bought her some very nice Etro bags for the beach and the evening.

Good to know!
One Coccinelle bags I gifted my mum was found in pristine condition after she was robbed (she kept the bag in the bike’s basket and the robber took it from her while she was riding), and once she lost the bag’s charm and Coccinelle was quick to send us a replacement.
If I bought her something more expensive she wouldn’t accept it, she’s not on spending big bucks on frivole items.

 

[papertiger]

It can be hit or miss with bags. Yes, I gift them, but only if I know exactly what they want. My husband takes me to the shop and has me pick out what I want. My brother knows me fairly well and I trust his taste for me. I have a few that were gifted to me that are not my style. If the person doesn't live nearby, I will try and wear it a few times and then after a year get rid of it. If it is someone, I am close too I will hold on to it. If it is one that DH bought, and I am tired of it I wait a while and get rid of it as he doesn't care.

You reaffirm for me how difficult it all is. I actually think it's easier to buy/gift bags for people who don't normally even think about fashion/style, I'm glad your brother gets you, my sister is more hit and miss and I have so many bags (which she knows) I don't know she buys me more. I totally agree with loved ones not surprising us but actually letting us choose.

 

[papertiger]

As some others have stated, it can be hit or miss with bags. I don’t ask my friends or family for expensive gifts. I buy those for myself. With my sweetheart, I pick the gift out & he pays for it.
I’ve only ever been gifted one bag that I truly disliked. It was plastic with the faces of famous women on it. I was gracious & said thanks because I know the person that gave it meant well. It’s buried in my storage unit somewhere.

We've all had some of those well-meaning gifts Gift receiving is as much of a minefield as giving.

 

[papertiger]

I sometimes give bags but only with a gift receipt so the person can always return and get what they want if they don’t like it.
I pick a brand the person wears to get more chance of a successful match.
c’est le geste qui compte.

I gift bags only to my mom and sister, and that’s only when I know exactly what they want. I have received bags as gifts from my parents and husband. They would either buy it with me, or I would send my husband an exact picture/link, LOL.

I want my family to use and love whatever gift they receive, so we all make sure to gift each other exactly what we want—or if unsure, with a gift receipt! My feelings do not get hurt when the gifts I give are returned/exchanged; and luckily, my husband/family’s feelings don’t either!

That's the ideal. I try to do this with everything even make-up or SLGS etc. At the end of the day, I just want them to be happy.

 

[jbags07]

This is a great thread. Bag choices can be very personal. But more so for those of us who ‘collect’ them, and enjoy our bags as more then just receptacles to carry our necessities around. I’ve gifted a number of contemporary bags to friends when i (mostly) shifted into premier brands. I’ve also sold many, but for my friends who won’t splurge on bags at all, they were very happy to receive the bags i gave them, b/c they aren’t fussy. And they like my taste in bags. But i think for people who are very into bags, its much too personal of a choice.

As far as being gifted bags, I’ve been in tricky situations with my 2 mothers-in-law (one is step m-i-l). They know i like bags, and each has gifted me 2 bags for Christmas gifts in the past. Its a very thoughtful gesture, but none of these bags were anything i would ever use. My m-i-l actually gave me the exact same bag 2 Christmases running A straw concoction that was totally not me. And my step m-i-l gave me 2 Brahmin bags 2 Holidays in a row. And these are not to my taste either. I kept them for a few years, and when i did a major purge last year, all 4 went. I felt/still feel guilty. But i had/have so many bags, i simply do not have space for bags i will never use. I dread the day they ask about these bags. And they will be visiting our new home soon. I really hope they have forgotten about them!

 

[880]

My m-i-l actually gave me the exact same bag 2 Christmases running

Given that she did not remember, hopefully you will never be asked Or deflect with a whitish lie, such as, I have to dig it up soon; they are perfect for the beach. . .

More than a decade ago, my mother insisted that I take a few recycled juice box bags. I protested and took them under duress with the idea that I would pass them along. I believe I ended up using them as gift bags for wine and other comestibles. Well, fast forward to this year, and my FIL asked if I could find some more as my MIL’s ones have finally worn out. . . I will be searching eBay lol.

 

[jbags07]

Given that she did not remember, hopefully you will never be asked Or deflect with a whitish lie, such as, I have to dig it up soon; they are perfect for the beach. . .

More than a decade ago, my mother insisted that I take a few recycled juice box bags. I protested and took them under duress with the idea that I would pass them along. I believe I ended up using them as gift bags for wine and other comestibles. Well, fast forward to this year, and my FIL asked if I could find some more as my MIL’s ones have finally worn out. . . I will be searching eBay lol.

Why did i not think of that I think you are correct, she most likely will not remember. We still aren’t completely unpacked yet, so ‘they are still packed away’ is also a perfect response! Thank u for your thoughts, i think my guilt was in the way of logic lol.

Too funny about your situation too, and thank goodness for ebay its amazing what can be found there. Hope you find some more juice box bags!

 

[DME]

This is a great thread!

I have gifted bags, but mostly to my nieces. New sale items when they were younger and I wanted to spoil them, and they now benefit from closet my purges. DD has little interest in bags and they are more than happy to take them off my hands! As a matter of fact, one niece got married earlier this year and another niece wore both a bag and a pair of shoes I had passed down to her, commenting that they, along with her dress (not from me), are part of her standard wedding guest attire. I was thrilled to hear that!

I have been gifted bags, but I’m very particular (like so many others here) and this usually doesn’t work out well. The thought is there and I appreciate the effort, but… DH usually just goes with me when I pick out a bag to be gifted by him, or I send him with specifics so he knows exactly what to buy. One time I told him I wanted a black Chanel flap bag and, while he didn’t purchase what I had in mind, that bag has become one of my favorites and was actually my go-to all fall. But I think that was a fluke!

My stepmother used to love gifting me bags. However, she never took my style, or likes, into account. It was always some item she would pick up at a big box discount store in a color no one could pull off, or it was a fake (which she knows I am opposed to). For reasons I won’t bore you all with here since they are way OT, we had a falling out. Needless to say I don’t miss those gifts! She would inevitably ask about them just after I got rid of them and I would have to make up an excuse, or change the topic.

 

[880]

straw concoction that was totally not me

I forgot to say that many years ago, after the cabat was first introduced by TM to great acclaim, my mom referred to it as the yellow woven basket that looks like straw. . . Upon a lot of questioning, I eventually gathered she was referring to an ottone cabat bc it was woven (like a basket) and ‘straw colored.’ I did venture to say that the cabat was leather and metallic. Maybe your MIL thought the same lol.

@DME, at one point, decades ago, I would buy some gifts in triplicate (mom, MIL, step mom, though the latter no longer speaks to me). Once, classic and simple evening purses from a Carolina Herrera sample sale. I think that gift was a hit. It’s a relief not to have to do so anymore.

 

[jbags07]

I forgot to say that many years ago, after the cabat was first introduced by TM to great acclaim, my mom referred to it as the yellow woven basket that looks like straw. . . Upon a lot of questioning, I eventually gathered she was referring to an ottone cabat bc it was woven (like a basket) and ‘straw colored.’ I did venture to say that the cabat was leather and metallic. Maybe your MIL thought the same lol.

@DME, at one point, decades ago, I would buy some gifts in triplicate (mom, MIL, step mom, though the latter no longer speaks to me). Once, classic and simple evening purses from a Carolina Herrera sample sale. I think that gift was a hit. It’s a relief not to have to do so anymore.

Classic CH evening bags are a wonderful gift, and so thoughtful. They must have been a hit with each recipient

Too funny regarding the Ottone Cabat I can see why your mom thought that…the golden weave does very much resemble straw unless examined closely. So indeed, perhaps my mil thought she was feeding my Cabat habit

 

[DME]

@DME, at one point, decades ago, I would buy some gifts in triplicate (mom, MIL, step mom, though the latter no longer speaks to me). Once, classic and simple evening purses from a Carolina Herrera sample sale. I think that gift was a hit. It’s a relief not to have to do so anymore.

I’m super impressed you could do that! My mom, MIL and stepmother are so different, I could never get away with it. Plus my mom and stepmom don’t get along, so getting them the same thing would have been absolute suicide.