The Etiquette of Gift-giving and Receiving Bags in the 2020s?

[papertiger]

Anyone gifted a bag for Christmas (Diwali, Hanukkah or Thanksgiving)?

Or Just Wished You Had?

What is the etiquette of giving and reviewing in the 2020s?

I bought one for myself (Gucci Aphrodite). Had someone wanted to buy me a bag I would have had no trouble being matter of fact and pointing to the bag, letting whoever work with my SA, even going with them if I'd never tried it.

A friend was given a bag as a gift (Fendi First Midi in White) and is torn between returning or keeping. Her family tradition is that you can't ask for what you want because it'd be rude.

Are you happy/unhappy with your gift bag (this year or previously)? How did the scenario go?

How do you make sure that someone buys you exactly the right thing when it's such a major purchase and personal item.

I've bought new bags for people, but relatives I (think I) know the style/lifestyle of. When I think about it, I've never asked them first. Would you buy anyone a bag?

 

[jennywlove]

I've both gifted bags but only to close family, and have received bags as gifts in general.

In case where I was gifting the bag, it was either because I knew their taste extremely well (ie. my mom) or they told me what they liked (MIL). Both were very happy with what I got them. On the other hand DH gifted my MIL a bag a while back but never got her input, and I never see her carrying it lol.

The bags I got as gifts were from older relatives and they obviously had no clue as to what I liked. The bags weren't terrible but never something I would buy, and I do wish they included a gift receipt so I could return it, or just not get me bags at all. On the other hand DH gifts me bags when I ask for them, and usually we'll go buy it together so I get exactly what I want!

 

[880]

No, I select and buy my own bags and jewelry. But, my family or friends are happy to take my bags once I’m done with them. They used to comment that I spent too much on bags, but after I gifted Evelyne s to my aunt and mil, and bought my mom a craie 30B, ghw (for very special occasions, and not on a regular basis), they stopped. Lol

 

[papertiger]

I've both gifted bags but only to close family, and have received bags as gifts in general.

In case where I was gifting the bag, it was either because I knew their taste extremely well (ie. my mom) or they told me what they liked (MIL). Both were very happy with what I got them. On the other hand DH gifted my MIL a bag a while back but never got her input, and I never see her carrying it lol.

The bags I got as gifts were from older relatives and they obviously had no clue as to what I liked. The bags weren't terrible but never something I would buy, and I do wish they included a gift receipt so I could return it, or just not get me bags at all. On the other hand DH gifts me bags when I ask for them, and usually we'll go buy it together so I get exactly what I want!

That sounds a bit like me. I've only bought new for relatives I know very well. Bags I've bought for DH (Mr. Fussy) get very well used, again, I know his style but how hard is on things in general.

My mother knew exactly what to give me but my sister has been more hit or miss. She has great bags herself (Mulberry, Paul Smith Burberry...) If she gives me a cast-off I'm happy but if she buys new, she'll buy from the high street, some approximate version of a trendy 'it' bag and I'm looking at a gifted bag and thinking and what an ungrateful sister I am.

 

[papertiger]

No, I select and buy my own bags and jewelry. But, my family or friends are happy to take my bags once I’m done with them. They used to comment that I spent too much on bags, but after I gifted Evelyne s to my aunt and mil, and bought my mom a craie 30B, ghw (for very special occasions, and not on a regular basis), they stopped. Lol

I give friends and relatives bags I no longer want too, but only if they want. I always ask before, and purposely 'just in passing', I wouldn't want to come across as though they have to take them, either one of us is doing a huge favour, or they need a better bag.

I gave an old Prada to a friend who had always complemented me on it, even asked if she could borrow it. I don't lend so when the time came I just gave instead. Just days later, I saw she was selling it on E-bay. Not that I should have cared, gone is gone and a gift is a gift, but the elaborate charade, the exclamations, big thank yous and the pretending she still had when we met were too strange.

DH gifted me possibly the most 'unlike-me' Gucci ever more than a decade ago. What was worse, he worked with my regular SA to buy it . I have learned to love it .

 

[CrackBerryCream]

I only ever gifted a bag (LV Neverfull GM) to a very dear friend. It's one that I barely used and knew I wouldn't use in the future (have several in the same style) and from our conversations I understood it was one that would be extremely useful to her. She is super happy with it and used it a lot (but now is a bit worried it will wear too quickly and LV repairs aren't cheap anymore). It's a win-win for both as I don't sell my things out of sentimental reasons and it being hers now gives me "visitation rights"

If I were to gift anyone else a new bag I'd ask them what they want exactly. I would make suggestions if they so desired, but if not I'd just buy them what they want. With those prices I don't like surprises in either direction.

My partner gifted me a Lady Dior and contributed to other bags in the past. But it was exactly what I was asking for as he wouldn't dare to guess or surprise me I constantly rub my wishlist with exact specs in his face (as if he would ever go to Hermès trying to get a QB as a surprise for me... one can dream) as I want exactly what I want (with alternative options given that I would equally love, e.g. "if they don't have it with rose gold HW, then gold! No palladium, I don't want that"). I always say if they don't have this or that, don't get anything at all. Life is too short (and money too precious) to settle. So I have multiple wishlists and only give them out including instructions This only applies to my partner and close friends. My late parents and grandma would just give me the money or pay for what I choose and my partner's family would never give such expensive gifts (so no wishlist given to them ever). So I don't have to worry about coming off as rude to anyone.

 

[Amazona]

My personal etiquette for buying bags as presents is to buy for only those whose taste and needs I know. BFF - something pastel and practical (Kipling), Mum (patterns and roomy bags) and my younger goddaughter. And for others, no bags.
I also don't mind if they want to return or sell a bag I've gifted. I also expect other grownups not to mind if I do the same to a bag I've received as a gift. Something from my nieces or goddaughters is in my permanent collection immediately.
If I've asked for a bag as a gift everyone knows to ask me for a link as they also know I probably have one already tracked down.

 

[JVSXOXO]

I bought myself two bags for Christmas My loved ones know that I’m big on bags so no one ever tries to pick one out for me, but they will offer to pay for one of my choosing. I always just sent my ex a link or would buy the bag myself and then he’d give me the set money.

It can be difficult to buy the right bag for someone if you aren’t as familiar with their preferences and needs, although I sometimes forget that not everyone is as particular as I am.

 

[AshTx.1]

I usually receive a bag for Christmas every year from my husband, it's kind of a tradition since we married in 2010! I always give him a wish list and a link so that he knows exactly what to buy. We prefer to buy pre-loved as much as possible, but there have been a few years where I have received a brand new bag. I did get a pre-loved Gucci for my birthday this year, but it's very rare that I get bags on my birthday. My husband just wanted to surprise me and do something extra special because it had been a difficult time.

 

[ame]

I have only been gifted ONE bag ever, and it's beautiful, but it's sat in its dustbag on my shelf since receiving bec it's too heavyfor me to carry for now (medical) and overall just impractical.

I am really bad about gifts--I don't really want a surprise, ever, and I'd rather have the "here's a gift card or a budget to buy this item." If I don't get the gift card I usually just don't bother with buying it.

 

[maryg1]

I’m the fussy one in the family when it comes to bags (and shoes), so I don’t get bags as presents because usually the bags I like are out of budget for my family members.
But I gifted bags, both to mum and sister, and they were pretty happy and used them a lot.
Usually it is Coccinelle or Furla, which have nice leather at a decent price point.
I gifted some LV SLG to my nieces and they obviously were very happy with them!

 

[Lyn2005]

It can be a hit and miss... I usually gift bags to family members only, and it's with years of knowing their likes/dislikes.

Sometimes I end up doing the gift "no-no", which is giving someone something that I would like, and not what THEY would like.

For my mom's birthday, I did get her a Chanel East West flap in black caviar, to match the white caviar version she treasures. That was very happily accepted.

 

[♥Mia♥]

Our family's gift-giving practice.... we are particular about our handbags so grown-ups do not buy bags for other grown-ups unless a specific one is requested in response to the question "What would you like for christmas?"

We are the same with clothing, perfume, jewelry, etc. Anything we collect, really. We give more universal and consummable gifts like bath sets, throw blankets, gourmet chocolates, etc.. things from their favorite brands. We all tend to buy what we want when we want (within reason, of course) throughout the year and do not put a large emphasis (or dollar amount) on gifts during the holidays. We always celebrate the holidays and give gifts.. just prefer giving and receiving those luxuries we are less likely to buy ourselves!

 

[dcooney4]

It can be hit or miss with bags. Yes, I gift them, but only if I know exactly what they want. My husband takes me to the shop and has me pick out what I want. My brother knows me fairly well and I trust his taste for me. I have a few that were gifted to me that are not my style. If the person doesn't live nearby, I will try and wear it a few times and then after a year get rid of it. If it is someone, I am close too I will hold on to it. If it is one that DH bought, and I am tired of it I wait a while and get rid of it as he doesn't care.

 

[baghabitz34]

As some others have stated, it can be hit or miss with bags. I don’t ask my friends or family for expensive gifts. I buy those for myself. With my sweetheart, I pick the gift out & he pays for it.
I’ve only ever been gifted one bag that I truly disliked. It was plastic with the faces of famous women on it. I was gracious & said thanks because I know the person that gave it meant well. It’s buried in my storage unit somewhere.